Sunset In Central Park (21 page)

She smiled. “You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”

“No.” He tilted his chair back and rested his feet on the railings. “I think that stuff with your parents affected you badly. Your dad’s affair—when something like that happens it’s bound to shake your belief system.”

It wasn’t something she talked about, but for some reason it was easy to talk to Matt. He wasn’t one of those people who thought listening was waiting for a gap in the conversation just so that they could talk about themselves. He didn’t just listen, he
heard.

“I knew about it, Matt.” The words spilled out, as they so often seemed to do around him. “I knew he was having an affair. For six months before he finally walked out, I knew and knowing was horrible. I didn’t know what to do. I was fourteen years old and I was in charge of a secret that could blow my family apart.”

Matt didn’t move. For a moment she wondered if he’d heard her and then he stirred.

“You never told anyone?”

“No. My dad made me promise not to say anything.”

“He
knew
that you’d found out?” The legs of the chair landed on the deck with a thud. He turned to face her, shock etched on his features. “Frankie?”

“I found them together. I walked in on them having sex.”

“Shit.” Matt dragged his hand over his face. “In your house?”

“In my parents’ bedroom. My mom was away and I was supposed to be staying out late for drama club but it was canceled so I came home early. Mom had given me a key. Dad didn’t know that. I don’t think they talked much by that point. So I let myself in and then I heard my dad moaning and I thought he was hurt or something so I ran upstairs. The bedroom door was open and I—” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s just say that they saw me so there was no pretending for anyone. I locked myself in my bedroom and my dad was hammering on the door. I don’t know what he did with her. She must have left, I guess.”

“Did you recognize her?”

“Vaguely. She worked with him. He made me promise not to say anything right then. He kept saying ‘You don’t want to break up our little family, do you?’ and ‘It’s grownup stuff, Frankie, and you would never understand.’ And he was right about that—I didn’t understand. When my mom came home I stayed in my room and said I was sick. Which was true.”

He took her hand, warming it between both of his. “You never told her?”

She shook her head. “I had this secret and it was so huge it was as if another person had moved in with us. It sat at the dining table, and lay in my bed. I could never get away from it.” She stared out across the ocean, at the gunmetal sea and the dark shadows of the rocks. “I couldn’t concentrate.
My grades dropped. A couple of my teachers asked if things were all right at home and I always said they were fine, but in reality my whole world was crumbling and I had no idea how to glue it back together.”

“You didn’t tell Eva and Paige?”

“No. They knew things weren’t great at home, but I didn’t give them the details. I didn’t want them to have the burden of knowing, and also I think part of me still hoped that if I didn’t talk about it, it might all go away. I think deep down I was still kidding myself that it might have worked out.”

“It didn’t.”

“No. I often wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t come home early that day. If drama club hadn’t been canceled, I would have stayed at school and I never would have known. She would have left the house before I came home and I wouldn’t have caught them. I wouldn’t have been in this situation where I couldn’t look at my dad across the dining table. My mom thought I was going through a moody teenage phase and she used to send me to my room.”

There was a pause and Matt’s fingers tightened on hers, firm and strong. “Are you telling me that you blamed yourself?”

“Not at first. At first I was confused because I’d thought my parents were happy. That was the scariest thing. If they’d had fights or seemed unhappy then I would have seen it coming, but I didn’t see anything at all. And it made me wonder what I’d missed. I still do that. I look at couples and I wonder what’s going on beneath the surface. What they’re thinking
really
. Are they happy
really
or is it all a lie?” She stared down at their hands. “After he left and my mother fell apart, I blamed myself. I was scared. She was in such a bad way I didn’t know what to do. I just wanted her to be
herself again. I kept thinking that if I hadn’t found him with that woman, maybe he would have stuck around. Instead, my mom decided to prove she had everything a younger woman had, and my life went from scary to embarrassing. And the worst thing was I missed my dad. I was mad at him, but I still missed him so much. I had this great empty hole in my chest. I thought we were close. I couldn’t understand how he could just walk away from me.”

Matt stood up and pulled her to her feet, wrapping her in a tight hug. “I’m glad you told me.”

“I’m glad I told you, too.” She breathed in the scent of him, soaked up the strength. “At least now you know why I’m a mess. I don’t want to think about how many men my mother has been with since. She’s like a butterfly, flitting from plant to plant, sucking the best from all of them. Do you understand now why I don’t trust relationships?”

“I understand, but Frankie—” he eased her away from him and smoothed her hair back from her face “—have you ever wondered whether the reason you’re afraid of relationships comes from what happened with your father, rather than your mother? He lied and cheated and then expected you to lie, too. He was the person you looked up to, and loved, and he let you down. It seems to me that’s the relationship that damaged you, honey, not your mother.”

She sat in silence, letting his words soak in. “But—”

“When the person you love and trust most in the world lets you down, where do you go from there?”

She stared at him.

Was he right?

For years she’d thought her problems stemmed from her mother’s lifestyle choices. From the evidence that relationships were mostly fleeting and didn’t last.

She thought about her father. He’d walked away without looking back, unimpeded by responsibilities or memories. He’d thrown them off like a snake shedding its skin, teaching her that there was no bond that couldn’t be broken, no declaration of love that couldn’t be withdrawn.

“You’re right.” Her voice was croaky. “Why didn’t I see that? I was always closer to my dad growing up. He called me his ‘baby,’ his ‘little girl.’ If something happened at school, he was the one I told first. He taught me to swim, he took me sailing. He was like a god to me. When it all happened, at first I didn’t believe it. I didn’t know what to do. Every little secret he asked me to keep destroyed another part of our relationship. He made me part of his deception and I found that hard to forgive. I didn’t know whether to tell my mother or not.”

“You were fourteen. No fourteen-year-old should have to make that decision.”

“I lost all respect for him and—” she paused “—I lost my ability to trust.”

“Of course. The one person every little girl should be able to trust is her daddy.” His tone was rough. “Did you tell her? Did your mom know that you knew?”

“No. She was wrecked after my dad left. Some days I stayed home from school because I was afraid to leave her on her own. She kept sobbing over photo albums, staring at every image, wondering if he’d actually loved her then or if it had all been a lie. It almost destroyed her that he had an affair with someone half her age. I was scared to leave in the morning and scared to go home after school. I didn’t know what I was going to find. Paige and Eva took turns coming home with me. That went on for ages, and then suddenly she woke up one morning and decided enough was
enough. She got her hair cut, lost some weight, starting taking things from my wardrobe—” She shook her head. “It was almost easier to deal with her being upset because that only involved me. This new version of her involved the whole community. She drank too much and twice the police chief drove her home. I wanted to die. And I started to hate the island. Somehow, over time, I managed to equate this place with all the bad things that happened. I couldn’t wait to go to college.”

“And how do you feel about the place now?”

Matt’s arms were locked around her like a safety barrier, and she stared at the flicker of moonlight on the surface of the ocean.

The world around her looked different.

“I’d forgotten how much I love it. It’s so peaceful. You could live here and not know a single thing that was going on in the rest of the world. Also, it feels different. Back then it was all about my parents, but this weekend has felt as if it’s about me. About us. And it’s given me a different perspective on the past.”

“You mean talking about your father?”

“Not just that. I used to think the locals crossed the street to avoid me, but now I realize
I
was the one crossing the street because I was embarrassed to look them in the eye.”

She leaned her head on his shoulder. “I think about it a lot. Whether I should have told my mother. Whether I should tell her now. Most of the time I think there’s no point, but there’s this big secret sitting between us like a wall and I can’t get past it. Before Dad left I was so scared and confused, and after there seemed no point because by then she knew anyway, and I was afraid of making it worse. She
hated my dad, and I was afraid she’d hate me, too, if she knew.”

“They were both adults, Frankie. You were the child. You shouldn’t have had to carry that burden and make those decisions.”

She felt the stroke of his fingers through her hair. “You think I should tell her?”

“No. But I wonder if it might help you feel better.”

She looked at him. “Your relationship with Caroline didn’t stop you trusting?”

“No.” His fingers brushed her cheek. “It shook my trust for a little while and maybe I’m more careful because of it, but my foundations weren’t rocked in the way yours were.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re not that careful. You’re here with me. A Cole. We have a reputation for being unreliable heartbreakers.”

His eyes glittered in the darkness. “Did I mention that I like to live dangerously?”

“Did I mention that I’d like you to rock my foundations?”

He raised an eyebrow and a smile touched his mouth. “Are you flirting with me again, Ms. Cole?”

“I think I might be but I still don’t have much experience. I’m working on it.”

“Happy to help you with that.” He swung her up in his arms and carried her into the cabin.

M
att and Frankie spent the next day rediscovering the island, eating ice cream from Summer Scoop and buying gifts from Something Seashore, Emily’s new gift store. Lisa was doing a brisk trade behind the counter but she gift-wrapped each of Frankie’s purchases with meticulous care.

“Normally I run Summer Scoop, but Emily wasn’t expecting to get pregnant when she set up her business, so we’re all helping out.” She measured a length of ribbon and snipped. “You’ve made some good choices here. Your friends are lucky.”

“You have beautiful things.” Frankie glanced around the store, her gaze lingering on handmade striped cushions and glass jars full of sea glass. There were so many items that tempted her, but she’d restricted herself to a basket of sea-shells
that she was planning to use in floral displays, and gifts for her friends.

She wanted to buy something for Matt, but he didn’t leave her side so there was no chance of doing anything secretive. The fact that he was so protective of her didn’t irritate her the same way it did his sister. It made her feel safe, and loved.

Loved?

She frowned. Not loved. Cared for would be a better expression.

“Emily has a good eye, and she stocks the work of local artists whenever she can. Much of the stuff you see here was made on the island.” Lisa carefully packed Frankie’s purchases into a stylish linen bag. “Everyone wants to take a piece of the seashore home with them.”

In the glass cabinet in front of her was a necklace of interwoven silver starfish. It was unusual and intricate.

Lisa smiled. “Pretty, isn’t it? It’s one of Skylar’s. Do you want to take a look?” She reached for the key to the cabinet but Frankie backed away.

“I’m not a jewelry person. I’m a gardener. I spend most of my life up to my elbows in dirt. That’s the reality of my life.”

There was no place in her life for a starfish necklace, no matter how pretty. When would she wear it? It wasn’t really
her,
although lately her definition of what was her had changed radically.

“Unless you’re up to your neck in dirt, you could still wear a necklace under your shirt. It would be like wearing sexy underwear. Just because no one can see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel good wearing it. It’s original. A one-off. You won’t find another like it.” Lisa turned as a door opened behind her and two small blond heads appeared.
“Excuse me one second—these two belong to me. They’re the reality of
my
life.”

Frankie blinked. “Twins?”

“Double the trouble.” Lisa gave a wry smile. “Meet Summer and Harry.” She walked away to deal with the children, and Frankie reached for the bag, taking one last look into the glass cabinet.

The starfish necklace caught the light, twinkling against the bed of midnight-blue velvet, winking at her.

Ridiculous
, she thought. She couldn’t begin to afford it and she certainly didn’t
need
it. She’d be better off buying a new pair of gardening gloves to replace the ones that were full of holes. Or a few new T-shirts.

What was it about being on vacation that made you part company with common sense?

She turned her back on it and left the store.

Matt followed a few moments later.

“That place is dangerous,” she muttered. “It should be called Mega Temptation, not Something Seashore.”

“Sometimes it’s good to give in to temptation.” He took her hand and led her away from the busy main street to one of the quieter roads. “Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“I have a surprise for you.”

“I’ve already seen it. I was impressed.” She nudged him with her elbow. “Hey, that was more flirting. How am I doing?”

“You’re doing great. And now will you close your eyes? Humor me.”

She closed her eyes and felt his fingers brush the back of her neck and an unfamiliar weight settle on her skin. “You
didn’t—” She lifted her fingers to her throat and opened her eyes. “You bought me the necklace?”

“It’s intended to be a positive reminder of the island, and our weekend.”

The weekend wasn’t something she was ever likely to forget.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“You don’t like it?”

“I love it.” She was stammering. Overwhelmed. “That’s not the point.”

“The fact that you love it is exactly the point. And if you’re worried that you don’t have any occasion to wear it, then don’t. I’ll take you somewhere you can wear it.”

He made her feel special. Or maybe it was the way he was looking at her that made her feel special. But underneath the euphoria that came from being with him, something else lurked. Questions. What did it mean? What happened next? “I don’t know what to say.”

“You say thank you. That’s it.”

“But—”

“You’re worried it comes with strings attached? You think I’m giving you this so that I can have my evil way with you?”

“You can do that for free.”

“Damn. If I’d known that, I wouldn’t have bothered.”

The humor in his eyes made her feel better and she stood on tiptoe and kissed him.

“Thank you.”

She wished she could switch off her brain. She wished she could stop asking herself what it all meant.

They wandered back to the harbor and when they’d had enough of dodging tourists, they visited the house where she
used to live. Frankie was surprised to find it looked different from how she remembered it. The freshly painted outer walls gleamed in the hot August sunshine, and a bright red swing took pride of place in the garden. She thought of all the times she’d returned home with a sense of dread, never knowing what mood her mother would be in, and realized that the dark times had colored the house in the mind.

“It feels strange being here. It’s not how I remembered it.”

“Things rarely are.”

She stepped away from the house and breathed in the sea air. “I’m almost sorry to be going home.”

“Me, too.” Matt turned her to face him. “We can come back again anytime you like.”

We.

The word made her catch her breath.

She’d never been a
we
before. Or an
us.

It felt as strange and unfamiliar as the light press of the necklace against her skin.

Seeing her mother’s life crumble had made her determined to forge an independent life, and she’d done that to the detriment of her relationships.

Before they left the island they made one more visit, this time to Matt’s parents.

“Aren’t they going to think it’s strange you being here and not staying with them?”

“My parents understand that I don’t want to have scorching sex under their roof, and anyway, they had a houseful of friends this weekend.”

“That’s what I remember most about your house growing up. It was always full of people and your mom was always cooking.” But she wondered what Lillian Walker would think of the fact that her son was involved with a Cole.

As it turned out his mother was as warm and welcoming as ever, and if she guessed at the change in their relationship, she didn’t comment.

They ate lunch in the pretty garden, home-cooked food that Lillian threw together with the effortless ease of someone who entertained regularly.

“How was the wedding?”

They talked about the day, explained what had happened with the flowers and the conversation moved from Frankie’s skill with flowers to Urban Genie.

“I worry your sister is working too hard.” Lillian glanced at Matt. “Not that she’d tell me, of course. She hides everything from us.”

“The business is growing fast and she’s working hard.” Matt didn’t lie. “But she’s happy. And she’s well. Jake keeps a close eye on her, but don’t tell her that. He tries to do it without her noticing.”

“Jake’s a good man.” Lillian served the food. “The number of times he showed up at the hospital when she was ill—I was thinking of booking him a bed.” She paused, her attention caught by Frankie’s necklace. “That’s pretty. I remember seeing it in Something Seashore.”

Frankie tensed. How did she respond to that?

How did she prevent awkward questions?

“I bought it for her,” Matt said easily, and Frankie saw his mother’s gaze linger on the necklace and then shift to her son, registering the significance.

“It’s a pretty piece,” she said. “Skylar is a talented artist. I’ve bought one of her photographs for your dad for his birthday.” And just like that the subject changed and Frankie was once again reminded that Matt’s mother was nothing like hers.

Lillian Walker respected her son’s privacy and accepted his choices.

Gradually, Frankie relaxed, soothed by the warm family atmosphere.

“We’re spending three weeks in Europe in late October.” This time it was Matt’s father who spoke. “I have to be in Italy on business, so we’re adding in a little vacation time.”

“But we’ll be back for Thanksgiving,” Lillian said quickly. “You know you’re welcome. We’d love to see you.”

Matt didn’t hesitate. “I’ll be here.”

“Frankie, I hope you’ll come, too.” Lillian’s tone was casual. “And bring Eva. How is she? I worry about her.”

They’d always made her feel like one of the family, Frankie thought. In some ways she’d felt more at home in Paige’s house than she had in her own. It was no wonder Matt had no trouble believing in love. He’d grown up with it right under his nose.

“Eva has her ups and downs but she’s doing okay.”

“She’s lucky to have you and Paige.” Lillian stood up and cleared the plates. “What time is your flight?”

“Four o’clock.”

Michael Walker raised his eyebrows. “You’ll be caught in traffic driving back into the city.”

He and Matt argued for a few minutes about the best route, and Frankie helped Lillian clear the table.

“It’s good to see you back on the island.” Lillian opened the dishwasher and started loading plates. “It must have been daunting to come back after all this time.”

Frankie wondered how she knew. “It was. But the reality wasn’t as bad as I’d anticipated.”

“I think that’s often the case with life. Sometimes it’s because we manage to inflate things in our head, but sometimos
it’s because we underestimate our ability to cope.” She closed the dishwasher and straightened up. “You’re a strong woman, Frankie. And you’re very important to Matt.”

Oh God, was this a warning?

Was she saying “Don’t mess with my son”?

Was she thinking she didn’t want a Cole anywhere near the family?

“I—”

“It’s a relief for us. I try not to interfere, but I was worried that what happened with Caroline might have made him reluctant to get involved with a woman again. It’s good to see you both looking so happy. I do hope you’ll join us for Thanksgiving. I love having the whole family together.” Lillian gave her a warm hug and then left the room to finish clearing the table.

Frankie watched her through the window.

She was the one with the problem, not Matt.

She saw Matt’s father stand up to help his wife, in what was obviously a well-oiled routine. Partners.

Would she spend less time worrying about things going wrong, she wondered, if she’d spent more time seeing them go right?

They arrived back in Brooklyn as the sun was setting.

After the peace of Puffin Island, New York seemed frenetic. Normally Matt loved the pace and energy of the city, but right now he was wishing he was back on the island with Frankie, removed from the world in the cozy cocoon of their beachside cabin where nothing could intrude.

He’d learned more about her in the past three days than he had in twenty years.

He’d learned that she woke up early and liked her coffee
strong. He’d learned that her insecurities hid depths of wild passion.

And he’d learned that she’d been carrying a secret for all of her adult life. A secret she’d shared with no one. Until now.

The significance of that wasn’t lost on him.

Sharing had deepened the intimacy and connection between them, but it had also shown him that Frankie trusted him.

As they drove through the busy streets she grew quieter and quieter.

Matt glanced at her briefly. “Have you heard from Paige and Eva?”

“They have a baby shower tonight so they’re going to be home late. I think Paige might be staying with Jake.” She sounded distracted.

Matt was pretty sure he knew what was going on in her head, but he said nothing, instead concentrating on the traffic until finally they pulled onto their leafy street in Brooklyn.

It was a sticky summer night, airless and humid, and Frankie pushed her hair back from her face. “I miss the sea breeze.”

“Me, too.” He unloaded their bags and she took hers from him.

“Thanks, Matt. I had a good time.”

“I had a good time, too.”

Outside her apartment she paused and put her bag down, the keys in her hand.

Instead of unlocking the door, she turned to him. “My place or yours?”

He’d had no intention of letting her sleep in her place, but
he’d been picking his moment carefully. The fact that she’d made the decision herself gave him a rush of exhilaration. “Are you planning on seducing me?”

“I’m not sure about seduction. I am planning to do bad things to you. Does that count?”

“That depends.” He moved closer to her, trapping her between his body and the door. “How bad?”

“You’ll find out.” There was a naughty gleam in her eyes that he didn’t recognize.

“Now you’re definitely flirting.”

“How am I doing?”

“You’re doing fine.” More than fine. He was so hot he was ready to explode. He released her and picked up her bag. “My apartment. That way we can take a drink up to the roof terrace and talk.”

“You want to talk?”

“I’m trying to prove I’m not only interested in your body.”

“What if I’m only interested in yours? Would that be a problem?”

Somehow they made it up the stairs. He just managed to close the door before he started to part her from her clothing. “You’ve turned into a sex maniac, do you know that?”

“I have a lot of years to catch up on. But I could point out that you’re the one ripping at my clothes.”