Authors: Jaz Primo
She broke from her reverie and regarded him with a curious expression. “Why Thanksgiving?” she asked.
He smirked. “Great food and no annoying gift shopping conundrums.”
She grinned and rolled her eyes at him. “I should’ve guessed,” she considered out loud. “A man’s answer, for certain.”
”Which reminds me, what’s our plan for Thanksgiving?” he queried with a smile. “It’s next week, you know.”
She was at a loss for words, having forgotten about the need to celebrate holidays now that she had a human mate again. It was so long ago.
“Anything you want, as long as you’re not expecting me to cook some oversized, dead bird for you,” she insisted darkly.
Caleb couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “How about a small, dead bird, which I’ll be certain to have catered with some trimmings so you won’t have the smell permeating the house?” he clarified hopefully.
She smirked despite herself and nodded.
It’s hard to refuse him a happy holiday, after all.
“Okay, but we eat at your place,” she insisted. “That way you won’t stink up my house with dead animal meat scents.”
“Done,” he agreed with a grin. “Okay, I’ve got another question.”
“Oh no, now it’s my turn,” she insisted.
He grinned and inclined his head in acquiescence.
“Do you want children?” she asked plainly with slightly upraised eyebrows.
He was surprised by the topic and it registered in his expression.
“Well, sure. Someday,” he replied thoughtfully.
“I’m barren now that I’m a vampire,” she stated.
“Oh,” he replied sympathetically. “Well, that’s okay.”
“Today it is. But what about a year from now, or five years from now?” she prompted patiently.
“Well, we could adopt,” he ventured hopefully.
Katrina rolled her eyes. “Oh, I can’t wait to see the expression on the state adoption inspector’s face during the daytime interviews when I can’t be in the sunlight. It would take mere seconds for sunshine to make my skin sizzle and burn before their eyes.”
The grisly vision made Caleb shudder, and he quickly forced it from his mind. “Okay, I see what you’re trying to do,” he replied evenly. “Next question,” he challenged.
She smirked at him, silently admiring his resolve. “Okay. Won’t your friends and coworkers find it strange when I can’t attend daytime social functions with you?”
“Well, I’ll tell them you’re feeling ill, or have work obligations, or you’re out of town,” he stated, proud for having thought so quickly on the fly.
She arched one eyebrow.
“There are plenty of evening events you can attend,” he added smartly.
She nodded appraisingly.
Nicely done
, she conceded. “What do you say as you and your friends get older, much older, and I remain young looking?” she asked slyly.
That was something he truly hadn’t considered. A sobering expression formed on his face as he mulled the concept over in his mind.
Katrina nodded slightly as she noted his thoughts deepening on the matter.
“Strong genes?” he ventured with a smirk.
She wasn’t amused, and a momentary surge of irritability rolled over her. “No, not acceptable, Caleb,” she admonished.
He shrugged. “Okay, so you have me there, I suppose. I guess we’ll just have to address that later.”
“The here and now is always easier for people to indulge in carelessly. But I have to consider the future at all times prior to my actions. The future is always just around the corner for me,” she explained. “The concept of eternity demands careful planning at most levels. Small decisions today take on larger impact and meaning tomorrow.”
“A butterfly flaps its wings in Japan, and a strong wind blows in China?” he ventured with a raised brow.
His analogy intrigued her. “Well, not always with that impact, but the idea resonates in much the same manner.”
He sighed and conceded, “Okay. So I don’t have all the answers. But is that a good reason to just walk away and forget the whole thing altogether?”
“Yes,” she replied simply. “It is, actually.”
He just stared at her and snorted derisively as he shook his head.
Why is she being so obstinate about this?
“I already assured you that I’m fully capable of commitment, and I’m willing to make sacrifices,” he retorted defensively.
“And abandon all those you care about or that are an important part of your life?” Katrina pressed evenly.
His expression grew more subdued, and a pained look was visible in his eyes. “There aren’t many left to abandon,” he replied grimly.
His response surprised her momentarily, and she regarded him thoughtfully.
That was a stupid thing to ask him
, she admonished herself.
I know better than anyone what he’s lost in his life.
She found herself wishing she could take back her previous question.
“I seem obstinate and negative, don’t I?” she asked. “But I’m not trying to be.”
He looked at her with a mix of frustration and helplessness.
Why is she being so serious and contrary all of the sudden?
Katrina looked at him with compassion and explained, “Please don’t be angry, Caleb. I’m experienced enough to know that right now you’re feeling euphoric. It’s the infatuation phase of our relationship, after all. Right now everything feels new, exciting, and hopeful. It’s hard for you to wrap your head around the negative or the challenging.”
“Wait, so you’re not feeling infatuated about us or me right now?” he asked with a note of concern.
She smiled, realizing how very young he still was, how inexperienced in the ways of the world, even as an adult human.
I feel like I’m robbing the cradle more and more as time passe
s, she mused sardonically. The fact that she had known him as a child wasn’t lost on her, either.
Then again, I’ve seen a lot more of the world than he
, she silently conceded,
more than I’m comfortable admitting to him, actually
.
“Of course, I’m feeling quite infatuated with you, my love. I merely want you to see the larger tapestry taking shape before you. Eventually, your feelings of infatuation are going to pass, and you’ll be facing the very real and substantive issues we’ll be forced to confront as a human and vampire. You can’t continue living exclusively in the moment. These issues are serious and complex,” she explained. “Time isn’t an enemy to me as it is to you, which is why I must be careful today to consider the prospects of tomorrow.”
He nodded belatedly and blurted, “But if I were like you --”
Katrina’s eyes angrily flashed in brilliant green, and her eyes narrowed to slits as she gestured with her right index finger upraised. “Stop there,” she issued with more force than she had intended.
His mouth snapped shut, and his eyes widened with surprise. Some curious diners nearby raised their faces and stared at them from across the room. Katrina quickly lowered her hand and settled back in her chair. Her eyes returned to their normal green hue, but she continued to stare at him.
He started to approach the topic from a different angle, which she anticipated by watching his expression.
“Don’t,” she ordered. “Remember rule number six. You must never ask to become one of my kind.”
He breathed a heavy sigh and nodded in resignation.
Oh yeah, rule number six
, he considered sullenly.
This is a little harder than I thought back at the apartment tonight.
His reaction was enough to satisfy her regarding the topic, and her disposition returned to its previously relaxed state while he chewed on his lower lip and reached out absently to grasp his tea glass.
“You’re pouting,” she admonished him.
He took a deliberately long time to sip and swallow his tea and replied, “Hardly. I’m just thinking to myself, that’s all.” He resented her choice of words in describing his mood and was too proud to admit how correct she actually was.
Katrina, however, was becoming adept at reading his individual traits and body language, and she knew better. Instead, she glared at him from across the table.
Men can have such infuriatingly sensitive egos sometimes
, she fumed.
Moments later, the server delivered their entrees and quickly departed. Caleb ate his food in silence, while Katrina picked at her salad just for show, eating very little in the process. She had become quite an accomplished actress over the years and could blend into a room without raising suspicion.
She fell into a dark mood following the abrupt lull in conversation and fleetingly wondered if their declaration of commitment to each other was a hasty mistake. She considered an alternate reality where she hadn’t reached out to Caleb and instead watched briefly from afar before moving on to some other part of the world.
After all, why should a chance childhood encounter that he doesn’t even remember somehow graduate into something tangible between us
? She felt a sense of sadness and loss at the prospect of his not being an active part of her life. The mere thought of severing connections to him caused her more internal conflict than she expected. To her, the impact he had already made in her life was significant, and she was all too aware of how much she cared for him, loved him. She put her fork down silently, stole a glance at him with a dart of her eyes, and noted that he appeared to be as morosely affected as she felt.
“What are you thinking?” she asked gently.
He finished chewing, swallowed his mouthful of steak, and put his fork down. “Why is rule number six so important?” he insisted firmly, though with a respectful tone.
She considered him for a moment before answering. “Becoming one of my kind changes you. You may not think you’re different afterwards, but you are,” she explained. “I like you the way you are now. You bring a balance into my life. Your innocence and your gentle, compassionate nature are refreshing. Those are rare qualities, even rarer among my kind.”
“There’s hardly a harsh, cruel woman sitting before me. In fact, you’ve only been very kind and caring towards me,” he countered quietly so as not to make a scene. “And you’ve displayed a sense of compassion and encouragement towards me. How is that any different from how I might be as one of your kind?”
She glowered at him, giving her face a slightly cruel look to it. “How I feel towards you, how I choose to treat you, that isn’t how I generally feel about the rest of humanity,” she stated with an edge to her voice. “I’m a predator, Caleb. I’m a great white shark that wants to tear into your flesh. I simply choose not to because of my feelings for you specifically. You’re the exception in my life, not the rule.”
That was a dose of honesty he hadn’t been entirely prepared for, and he felt like he’d just been doused with cold water. His eyes widened slightly with surprise at the vehemence in her voice.
“I don’t exactly see you running around town tearing out people’s throats,” he countered in a low whisper.
“What makes you think I don’t when you’re not around?” she asked levelly. She had hoped to avoid such a harsh subject with him, but perhaps a dose of honesty was best. She needed him to understand there were few warm fuzzies about being a vampire.
Caleb was speechless as he stared at her. His mind raced to process what she just said.
It isn’t as if I heard about people disappearing or turning up mangled and bloodless in Atlanta recently. Is it?
“Do you remember the mugger in the college parking lot? You let him live. I saw him flee, and he was alive,” he insisted firmly.
Her eyes flicked to his for a moment and looked away, as if she were considering what to say next. “Why do you think I left you so quickly that night?” she asked coolly.
He froze and deliberately gazed across the dining room at other patrons so that he didn’t have to look her in the eyes.
“Caleb, look at me,” she insisted in a whisper.
He kept his eyes averted, so her hand darted to his and squeezed it abruptly to get his attention. His eyes shifted to look at her with a start, and he gazed into her level stare. Her green eyes appeared steely and cold to him all of a sudden and intimidated him.
“I’m not justifying myself to anyone. I kill whenever I deem it necessary. I live as one of my kind, and I relish in it,” she stated plainly. “I’ve left a trail of blood reaching all the way back to my creation. Blood is nourishment, but it’s more than that. The taking of it thrills me, as it does all of my kind.”
“It has to be more than that,” he pleaded. “What we shared the other night, what I gave to you, was gentle, not vile.”
“It’s true that the taking of blood can be part of an intimate experience for us,” she explained as she gently massaged his hand in hers. “It’s a higher form of bonding with a mate, versus simply a feeding activity.”
“And yet, you make yourself out to be some kind of evil serial killer,” he admonished in a whisper. “But you’re not that to me.”