Summoning Sebastian (25 page)

I opened my mouth, trying to speak, but with no idea what I would say. Did I need to cry out a warning? Or was that pointless? Every one of us was on our toes, ready for anything and everything to happen, and to happen quickly. I didn't know exactly what was happening, what was going to happen. I couldn't contribute anything to the conversation, or to shape the response, because I just didn't know what was going on.

All I could do, really, was watch. Watch as Gregor grabbed Armand by his collar and pulled him back to his feet, his hand cocked back with the stone, ready to crush Armand's skull with it. Watch as Armand put his hands up to shield his face. Watch as Roland moved toward them both, grabbed Gregor by the back of his shirt. Watch as Colin too moved to corral Gregor.

And then all the watching was over. My body, under no compulsion of my own, rose to its knees, both arms outstretched.

And Sebastian made his move.

Every shred of his substance burst out of me, through the upper surface of my skin, emerging with a fine spray of blood, a ripping sensation, and a scream of pain from my own mouth. Something else came with him, whatever had joined with his substance during his temporary stay in my epidermis. All the bits and pieces gathered in front of me, forming, yet again, a smoke-like cloud. This one was dark gray, much as it had been before, but I could see other colors in it too—the nondescript tan of the original vampire stone, the pinker tan of my own skin, the bright vermillion of my own blood.

It rushed to form a shape, the shape of a man. Of Sebastian, six feet tall, broad shoulders, slim build. For a moment, I thought I could see his face. Then the smoke dispersed again, and headed straight for Gregor.

All of this had happened so fast that Gregor only had time to hit Armand once, the blow not direct, more a glancing strike because Colin and Roland had both interfered. As Armand fell back again, Colin and Roland also took a long step back, seeing the ashen cloud rushing at them. The smoke turned in on itself, a billow of gray and black, and poured toward Gregor.

Into
him.

The smoke entered his nose, his mouth, his eyes. And Gregor's skin, his muscle, everything that held him together as a corporeal being, gave way as the smoke tore through him. The stone in his hand exploded, the resulting dust joining the maelstrom, adding its bulk to shred his flesh from his body.

It was horrible. I didn't like Gregor much, didn't appreciate that he'd gone out of his way to intimidate me and likely would have killed me if he'd gotten a better chance. But seeing him shredded in front of me, his corporeal form changing to falling ash and pieces of something that looked like charcoal, jolted me more deeply than his actual threat to my personhood.

Then it hit me, and that thought was even more horrible: Sebastian was doing this. He was no longer under anyone's control. This was his choice.

Or was it? Had the apparatus, now screeling on a frequency so high I couldn't even hear it anymore, taken over the proceedings? Did it matter? Whatever was happening, there was no way anyone could stop it now.

All the bits and pieces Sebastian's collision with Gregor had created were shifting into a shape. Sebastian's shape. The smoke, the pulverized stone from Gregor's hand, the bits of my blood and my flesh and everything that had been left behind of Gregor's body all came together, swirling and pulsing and eventually coalescing into a tall, pale, naked, familiar figure.

Sebastian.

My God. It had worked.

The last bits of sand and skin and blood came together, fitting into place, and Sebastian stood there, staring as if he had no idea what had just happened to him. I fell back against the floor, awash with pain, every inch of my body throbbing.

“Sebastian,” I murmured. He looked at me. I smiled up at him, at his so-familiar face and his blue-blue eyes.

And then he fell on me and began to feed.

What happened after that has never been entirely clear to me. I didn't know what was happening then; I don't know what happened now. No one will tell me, and I'm afraid to ask.

All I really know is that Sebastian's teeth sank into my throat, and he began to drink from my already ravaged body, pulling what sustenance he needed to complete his return to life, to nourish his abruptly reconstituted body.

And then I saw Colin lurch into view behind him and hit Sebastian as hard as he could on the back of the head. Sebastian collapsed on top of me. And I, promptly and predictably, passed the everloving fuck out.

I don't know how long I was unconscious, but when I woke up, I was surrounded by vampires. Well, Colin and Roland, and Sebastian stretched out on Roland's bed. I was in the bed I'd been sharing with Colin. Roland sat on a chair by the door, while Colin was sitting on the bed next to me, one hand resting on mine.

I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He responded immediately, catching my gaze, his fingers tightening on mine. “Nim,” he said. “Are you okay?”

I was silent a moment. It seemed like a question I needed to consider before I gave a definite answer.

I still hurt everywhere, but it wasn't as bad. The marks had switched back to feeling like a bad sunburn, and the pain had reduced so it only affected the surface. It wasn't eating through my bones anymore. My flesh didn't feel sick and feverish. “I think so,” I finally answered. “How's Bastian?”

“Asleep,” Roland offered. “I'm sorry we didn't get him off you any faster.”

Shifting, I tried to sit up. Colin's hand tightened on mine again, and he helped me change positions. I started to tell him I didn't need help, but apparently I did, because the minute my head rose from the pillow, I was attacked by vertigo.

“He got a lot of blood,” Roland continued. “We tried to get him to stop, but…” She trailed off.

I blinked a few times, then focused on her. Her face looked paler than usual, a bit drawn. I wondered how close I'd come to death. Wondered if I wanted to know. “Seems like I'm okay now, so…” I started to add “no blood, no foul,” but that wasn't even remotely close to accurate. “I think I'll be okay.”

“I'll be sure you get some food, now that you're awake.” Roland pushed to her feet. “They have good food for getting you back on track after a feeding.”

“I'm sure they do.” I couldn't keep the sarcasm out of my voice.

Colin watched her depart, then reached over and stroked my hair back from my face. “I was worried.”

“I was breathing, so…”

“Most of the time you were.” He stroked his thumb over my eyebrows.

“Most…” I stopped. No, I really, really didn't want to know. Instead of pressing the question, I turned my attention to Sebastian. “Did it work? Is he going to be okay?”

Colin didn't follow my gaze, didn't turn to look at his erstwhile lover. “We'll find out when he wakes up.”

Something in his voice disturbed me. I took in his face, trying to read it. Finally I reached up to cup his cheek. He seemed reluctant to meet my gaze.

“Don't blame him,” I said. “It was my call. He wanted me to do something completely different.”

“Why didn't you?”

“It would have killed him.”

“He nearly killed you.”

I shrugged. “Risk I'm willing to take. If I weren't, I wouldn't be dating a vampire, would I?” I smiled a little. “Much less two.”

His smile seemed reluctant, a vague quirk of one side of his mouth. “We're dating now?”

“We're more than dating. We might as well be married at this point.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Are you proposing?”

“No.”

“Ah. I see.”

He seemed utterly unoffended. I chuckled and stroked a thumb over his bottom lip. “Don't be angry with him. He couldn't help what happened. He had no control over any of it.”

“Are you sure?”

How could he doubt it? I wondered. He'd known Sebastian for decades—centuries. How could he even harbor a suspicion that Sebastian had hurt me on purpose? “Yes. He was inside my head. I know what he was thinking, and I know there wasn't a damn thing he could have done about any of it once it got started.”

He nodded. “I suspected as much. Still… God, Nim. He nearly killed you.”

“I'll be okay. Shit, I've had worse. It was only a flesh wound.”

Not that I could see the wound in question. There was a vague throbbing at my throat where he'd bitten me, but it wasn't any worse than any of the other bites he or Colin had inflicted on me. And it wasn't as bad as the other raw places where the ink had been.

I glanced down, a bit less dizzy now, to look at my arm. The sight of it almost made me woozy again. Where the ink markings had been, the skin had been peeled away, the top layers gone, leaving behind raw, red skin. It would undoubtedly scar. Interesting fashion statement.

“It's going to be an interesting look,” I commented.

Colin's smile seemed sad. “I'm sorry. I wish…”

“Oh, just stop it,” I snapped. “It was my decision, I made that decision, and I'm a big girl who can deal with the consequences. So I have to spend the rest of my life with cool glyphs on me. I'll survive. Maybe I'll start a trend.”

“I just…” He stopped, as if afraid I might yell at him again.

“You try too hard to protect me. You and Bastian both. I'll be fine. Seriously.”

Finally, Colin nodded, then he bent forward and kissed me gently. “I'm glad.”

I closed my eyes. I was going to need sleep, time and a lot of green, leafy vegetables, but I was going to be okay.

And so was Sebastian.

Sebastian woke while I was chowing down on a plateful of kale, spinach, boiled eggs and bacon bits. Real bacon, not that weird fake stuff. It was delicious. It occurred to me again that life as a blood donor might be a good career choice for me. On the other hand, was my blood still intoxicating? Had the bits of the vampire stone been what had made it that way? Now that they were gone, was I just normal Nim Taylor again?

Well. Not that I'd ever been normal. Still, it was something to consider. I suppose I'd figure it out eventually. Colin and Roland would undoubtedly help in that regard. They were gone at the moment, making arrangements for our return home. Either that or they were murdering Armand. I hadn't been completely sure based on their conversation before they'd left.

I saw Sebastian's first movement out of the corner of my eye and looked toward him. He was still naked, but they'd put a blanket over him to preserve his modesty—not that vampires have any, but it still seemed like a kind gesture. He sat up slowly, struggling a little with the movement.

“Hi,” I said.

His gaze jerked to mine. “Nim.”

The sound of his voice—his real voice, not just the echo of it inside my head—made me want to jump up and down in unbridled joy. Sadly, I hadn't downed quite enough kale to make that a wise decision. Instead I just grinned at him. “It's me.”

“You're all right.” One hand rose shakily to his hair, combed through it. He looked exactly as I remembered. With all the factors that had come together to reconstruct his body, I'd been a little afraid something on him might look like Pieter. But it was just Sebastian. “I was… I was afraid I'd killed you.”

“Nah. You just snacked a little overenthusiastically.” I said this with complete confidence, even though I'd been unconscious during said snacking. “I'm fine.”

His gaze trailed over me, taking in the wound on my neck, the marks on my arms. “You're sure?”

“I'm absolutely sure.”

He nodded slowly. “You shouldn't have done it. You should have let me go.”

My bright grin faded to a smile, tired and wry. “Shut the fuck up. I do what I want, and you know it.”

He returned the smile, his weary but a little sad. “Yes. I do know that.” He was quiet for several long seconds. Then, quietly, he said, “I love you, Nim.”

Tears sprang unexpectedly to my eyes. “I love you too.”

C
hapter Twenty-Three

The best supplement to please your vampire lover! Take our vitamins twice a day, or try our delicious, no-muss smoothies! The concentrated B-vitamins and green leafy vegetables will make your blood the tastiest it's ever been!
—Magazine ad for Blood Boosters Supplements

O
ddly, it wasn't until we were on the helicopter heading back to Vanavara that it really hit me.

It really was Sebastian. Every bit of him real. Suddenly I couldn't stop touching him. Fortunately, the helicopter offered tight quarters, so my incessant contact didn't seem completely creepy.

I couldn't believe it was all real. Sure, the pain reminded me everything that had happened wasn't a dream, but still. He'd been in a bottle, then he'd been part of my own body, then he'd been…

Himself.

He seemed nearly as disoriented about everything as I was. I couldn't tell how Colin felt about it, but he too seemed to stay closer to Sebastian than was strictly necessary. When the helicopter touched down, he was careful to disembark ahead of Sebastian, giving him an arm down, then checking to be sure he was all right before handing me down. I would have jumped down on my own, but for once I'd decided to listen to my body, which was still tired and achy and happy to have a big, strong vampire give it some assistance.

As we moved away from the helicopter, heading toward the same hotel where we'd spent our time in Vanavara previously, Colin stayed close to Sebastian, touching him, rubbing a hand down his back from time to time, bumping shoulders. I smiled, watching it. You could rattle on until you were blue in the face about how Colin had no emotions and just liked to irritate people. There was a time when I would have believed you. Now was not that time.

Sebastian himself was quiet, and he moved a little slowly, a little awkwardly, as if he'd forgotten how to make a corporeal body work. That first night in the small hotel, we lay spooned together, Sebastian in the middle, Colin and I just holding him. I reached across Bastian's body and wove my fingers through Colin's, reestablishing that connection. Sebastian's face lay against my breast bone, his partially open lips pressed against the raw skin there, protected now with a paper-thin, blood-brown scab.

I would have scars. All over me. White lines and curlicues in the shapes of the ancient runes that had bound Sebastian to me. Not a form of body art I would have voluntarily chosen, but a bit more meaningful, I supposed, then having the boys' names inked onto my ass.

I was okay with it, in any case. What had happened to me over the past few months had left an indelible mark. The physical representation of it just made it more real.

We stayed in Vanavara nearly a week, watching the days get longer, watching Sebastian regain his strength and waiting to hear from Roland, who had stayed behind in Tunguska to settle things with Armand. What she was settling, I didn't know, but I could only trust Armand wasn't going to kill her. Colin seemed confident she would meet us as soon as she was finished, and I got the impression she'd accompany us back to Moscow, if not all the way back to New York or Colorado.

I was sitting in the bed next to Sebastian, who was stretched out with a book, when Colin's phone rang. He answered it, then moved into the other room to take the call. I couldn't hear him; I could tell by the subtle shift of Sebastian's attention that he could.

“She's not coming,” Sebastian said after a moment, very quietly. The sound of his voice surprised me; it seemed like I hadn't heard it in days.

“Is she all right?” I kept my voice low, as well, and I reached out to touch his hand. His skin was cool but unmistakably solid. It still surprised me that I could touch him at will.

He was silent a moment, listening. “I think so. She's…negotiating something?”

I puzzled over that one. If she hadn't provided anything more than vague information, then we weren't likely to get anything more out of her. I had come to realize that Roland had her fingers in a wide variety of pies, many of which she kept securely under her hat. An awkward mixing of metaphors, maybe, but then I got the impression most of her life consisted of awkwardly mixed metaphors.

Sebastian spoke again, though. “She's bargaining for access to the full Tunguska library.”

I let an eyebrow slide up. From what little I knew, it seemed like a good idea. Vampiric esoteric knowledge seemed to be extensive but scattered. Getting it more consolidated—even just parts of it—could be nothing but helpful.

Sebastian smiled a little. “She'll get it done.” I could tell this wasn't an echo of the phone conversation but his own conclusion. I wondered again about his relationship with Roland, and a little stab of jealousy hit me just below the breastbone.

His eyes met mine as if he'd sensed my prick of discomfort. He smiled and, for the first time since he'd regained his body, he kissed me.

It was a sweet kiss, one of those gentle, exploratory caresses that new lovers tended to share. It wasn't the kind of kiss I'd come to expect from Sebastian, or from Colin, either, for that matter. We knew each other, knew each other's mouths and bodies, but his tongue eased into my mouth like it had never been there before.

I answered him in kind, recognizing that he was still settling back into his own body. It was a strange thought, but it was a strange situation. He looked the same, felt the same, even tasted the same, but having seen his physical form reconstituted practically from thin are, I recognized that it probably was different in some way, even if only on a molecular level. And he'd been away from it a long time.

His molecules didn't matter to me just then, not as much as his physical substance did, the careful push of his tongue, a tentative hand rising to clasp my shoulder. Then, after a short time, another soft prodding from lower on his body.

He made a small sound in the back of his throat, something like a laugh but with a strange, almost strained quality to it.

I drew back. “What?”

He glanced down. “It still works.” That strain I'd heard in his voice, I realized, was relief. “I was beginning to wonder.”

Smiling, I stroked his face. “You've been through a lot. It makes sense it might take a little time for everything to settle.”

He smiled, and I think he was about to say something when Colin returned.

“Well, we have a change of…plans…” His voice trailed off as he realized what Sebastian and I were up to, and his brows creased. He made a huffing sound. “Starting without me?” But in his voice too, I heard a strong note of relief.

Sebastian shrugged. “You're the one who ran off.”

“Sorry.” Colin sounded genuinely contrite. He settled onto the bed on Sebastian's other side and reached out, stroking a hand lightly down Sebastian's back. There was a tenderness in his eyes I saw only rarely. I understood how he felt; this was the most Sebastian had spoken to either of us since we'd brought him back. “You're better?”

Sebastian nodded. “I think so.” He leaned toward Colin and said in a conspiratorial whisper, “My dick's working.”

Colin laughed outright. “That's a welcome development.”

“I thought so.”

I smiled at Colin's eagerness. He was like an adolescent boy who'd just discovered the joys of his own erection. For a fleeting moment, I regretted that he'd broken my moment with Bastian, but it barely lasted long enough for me to even register it.

And when Sebastian turned to Colin and kissed him, I regretted it even less.

Bastian kissed him in much the same way he'd just kissed me—an exploration, like everything was new to him. I'd remembered how much I enjoyed having Sebastian with me, making love to him, feeling all the secret places of his body, but I'd almost forgotten how much I enjoyed watching him with Colin.

Colin and Sebastian had known each other long before I'd met either of them, had been lovers for a long time—I didn't know how long—until the drama precipitated by the vampire stone had forced them apart. I wasn't the only one whose life had been mauled by that particular artifact. They'd rekindled their affair before I'd finally succumbed to Colin's dubious charms, and Sebastian had made his way to my bed not long after. I'd welcome them. No waffly, whiny love triangles for me. If both of them wanted me, then I was happy to oblige.

But one of the best things about the arrangement was watching them together. Okay, if I had a choice, I'd rather be the bendy cheese in the vampire sandwich, but watching Colin and Sebastian together was a joy unto itself.

It was different this time. No less erotic, but not the same as before. They were easier, more careful. Sebastian seemed to be exploring, re-learning, much as he had been with me, and Colin wasn't pushing him. They spent a minute or two just stroking their tongues together, shifting their lips from one position to another. Colin's hand moved to cup the back of Sebastian's neck and, after a few hesitant, reaching forays, Sebastian lifted his hands to Colin's shoulders.

Colin just waited, letting Sebastian go at his own speed. I leaned back against the headboard, feeling for a moment like I should leave, but then Colin caught my gaze and smiled a little. I was welcome. More than welcome. So I sat quietly and let them work out what they needed to work out.

Sebastian's fingers found their way down the front of Colin's shirt, picking at the buttons, finally loosening them and opening the shirt to expose the wide expanse of Colin's chest. I drew my knees up, trying to make myself as small as possible but also fighting the rising of my own desire. I pressed my thighs together. It might be a little embarrassing if I sat here and had an orgasm while they were fooling around. Then again, who cared? They wouldn't begrudge me a climax or two.

Which was a good thing, because I wasn't sure I was going to be able to fight it off completely when Sebastian began to toy with Colin's nipples, then bent his head to lip them, then mouth them, then bite them. Colin made a small, satisfied sound and laid his hand on Sebastian's head.

Sebastian, seeming to suddenly regain confidence, pushed Colin back against the mattress. His hands found the waistband of Colin's pants and pulled them open, shoved down inside. Colin reached for Sebastian's shirt, undoing buttons, pushing sleeves down Sebastian's arms.

It wasn't long before they were naked, twined together in front of me, pale skin against pale skin. I ached; I wanted someone to touch me. I could have touched myself, but I really wanted to wait until one of the boys had time to pay me some attention. It would be more fun that way.

Or more painful. I was weighing the question when Sebastian began to pulse his hips, sliding his erection along Colin's stomach. I could probably sneak in, I thought. Neither of them would mind. I could lean over and touch Sebastian's undulating back, feel the smooth flesh and the curve of bone beneath. But no. This was for them. I would let them have it. They'd get to me sooner or later.

Sebastian seemed completely absorbed in what he was doing, thrusting in a slow but quickening rhythm, dragging his cock across Colin's pale belly. Colin held on to Sebastian's hips, not directing him, just maintaining the contact. He looked down between them and shifted his own hips so their erections dragged across each other.

I was pulsing, myself, at this point, heavy and hot between my legs. I cupped myself lightly. If it came down to it, I'd touch myself, but I wasn't quite that desperate yet. They were beautiful like this, so absorbed in each other. Colin reached down and wrapped his hand around his own cock and Sebastian's, holding them loosely as they continued to thrust in rhythm. Then he looked up again, and his eyes met Sebastian's.

Colin smiled. He bobbed his head forward and caught Sebastian's mouth with his own, kissing him deeply. Sebastian responded, then pulled back suddenly and bit Colin's lip.

Colin jerked, grunted, and suddenly came. I could see him spilling over his own hand, over Sebastian's stomach. Sebastian smiled against Colin's mouth, a bit of the old mischievousness coming back into his face. He'd enjoyed that. He'd always enjoyed catching Colin off guard, especially during sex.

I blinked hard, overwhelmed by a sudden surge of emotion as I once again wrapped my head around the fact that Sebastian was back with us, and that he was very much himself.

He let Colin finish his orgasm, then I made some surprised noises of my own when Sebastian bent to lick the come off Colin's stomach. Something pulsed between my legs—not quite an orgasm but damn close. Jesus, these two were going to kill me.

At my sounds, Sebastian peered over his shoulder at me, his eyes narrow, a smirk curling his mouth. Colin let out an airy half chuckle as Sebastian stalked on all fours over to me and took me by my shoulders.

“Your turn,” he informed me, then kissed me before I could respond.

I stroked his bare flesh, reacquainting my hands with the feel of him. Nothing felt amiss; every inch of him was exactly the same as I remembered. His skin was smooth and cool, the muscle hard and firm beneath it as he pulled at my clothes and pushed me down into the mattress.

There was no hesitance left in him anymore. He was sure and deliberate as he opened my shirt and closed his mouth on my breast, drawing hard enough to make me gasp, then switching to the other side, his movements becoming rapidly more desperate, less controlled. He pushed his hips between my thighs, dragging his belly through the heat and wet of my arousal. With his mouth on mine, then with his teeth on the line of my jaw, he thrust into me.

I clenched down on him hard. My body had been crying for this. I'd wanted him inside me for so long. All the time he'd been gone, I'd wanted this. Not that all I wanted from him was sex, but God, it felt good. He pushed hard, then drew back slowly. I wrapped myself around him and let my eyes meet his.

There was a question in his face. I saw it, and suddenly realized I knew exactly what he was thinking. I knew what he wanted to do to me, saw it in excruciating detail as it ran through his mind.