Summer by the Sea (28 page)

As they made pleasantries at the kitchen table, Faith wanted to slip away and check on her sister. What kind of trip was Scott taking? Was it a work trip? Had he met someone else? She was dying to know for Casey’s sake. She wanted to be there to hold her sister’s hand, to help her through it, to encourage her when she wanted to make light of the situation or brush a difficult discussion under the rug. She needed to be in there with Casey.

“Mom, do you mind getting Isabella some breakfast? I’m just going to check on Casey.”

As Faith got up, she looked at Jake, ready to apologize for her early exit, but, before she could say anything, he lightly grabbed her arm, sending tingles all the way up. “Everything okay?”

His concern warmed her. There he was, sitting at the table, as comfortable as if he were one of the family. The odd thing was, he seemed to just fit. They barely knew him, but he already fit. She was willing to bet that if his decisions had been different, and they didn’t have their disagreements about development and the type of lifestyle he wanted stacked against them, it would be easy to love him.

“I
hope
everything’s okay,” she said quietly, trying not to show her feelings. “It was nice to see you.” She produced the most casual smile she could.

“You too.”

“I’ll see you around eleven.”

“Okay.”

She wanted to stay and talk with Jake, but Casey needed her, so she walked down the hallway to her sister’s room, tapped on the door lightly, and pushed it open.

Casey was sitting on the floor, hugging her knees, her chin resting on her arms. The phone sat beside her, not in use. She looked up at Faith and smiled a half smile, as if that was all she could muster. Faith couldn’t read into the call at all just from looking at her, and she was dying to know how it went.

“Isabella told me you were talking to Scott,” Faith said, sitting down next to Casey. “What did he say?”

“He’s going to Colorado. He’s flying out Friday.”

“What for?”

“To meet with the manager at the Boulder office. I think he’s planning to relocate.”

Scott was relocating. That meant that he was moving on, starting over without Casey. Faith watched her sister closely for emotion. She wanted to be ready when Casey fell apart, but Casey didn’t. Her face was blank, empty.

“What did you say to him?” She wanted to tell Casey to snap out of it, get back on that phone, and scream at Scott not to do it. What about Isabella? Would she have to fly back and forth from state to state to see her parents? Or was he going to just leave them behind? She knew him well enough that she couldn’t imagine he’d do that. What was he thinking?

“What
could
I say, Faith?”

They sat in silence, side by side as Faith tried to digest this information. She thought way back to those years she’d known Scott, trying to find some rational reason why he’d go so far away from his wife and child. People did it all the time—she knew that—but
Scott
wouldn’t do it. At least the Scott she knew wouldn’t do it. …Unless he was running.

She remembered what it felt like to see him after he and Casey were married. She didn’t want to have to watch his affection for someone else, let alone her own sister. She didn’t want to bump into him in public, have to smile as if nothing bothered her, knowing that her life had been altered. What if he felt the same way about Casey? What if he worried she’d find someone who didn’t mind her sporadic work schedule, and the fact that she was never still? What if she started to fall for this new person and he’d have to run into them in public? What if Scott loved Casey too much to endure that?

“You need to tell him to stay. Tell him you don’t want him to go.”

“It’s clear what he wants. I’m not going to grovel. I can stand on my own two feet.”

Casey was trying to act as if she was okay with everything. She was too proud to admit defeat, and she wasn’t used to not getting what she wanted, so she pretended like this
was
what she wanted. But Faith was determined to get through to her.

“What if he wants you back so badly that he can’t stand the idea of seeing you if he can’t be with you, Casey? Did you tell him how you felt?”

“He didn’t give me a chance.”

“Let me call him.” She hadn’t really spoken to Scott in any significant way since that party so many years ago. She had never thought the idea of calling him would come so easily for her. But it had been long enough. Scott had been her best friend; she’d told him everything at one point in her life. She wanted to find out his side of things.

“What?”

“I want to call Scott. I want to find out what he actually thinks about all this.”

Confusion was clear on Casey’s face as she looked at Faith.

Her whole life, Faith had thought everything came easily for Casey, that she never had to struggle, yet she, too, had insecurities—Faith was finding that out more and more. Even Casey didn’t feel confident enough in her own relationship to tell Scott how she felt. It seemed so silly. Was she worried he wouldn’t feel the same about her?

Faith knew what her sister needed and she might be able to fix it all if her hunch was right.

“Let me call him. Mom’s getting Isabella’s breakfast. You can help her.”

“I don’t know…”

“Casey. I want to do this as much for me as for you. I’d like to talk to him. I promise not to plead with him or tell him what you think. But I want to hear what he thinks. And he might tell me, Casey.”

Still slightly hesitant, Casey reached for her phone on the floor, typed in her passcode, and handed it to Faith. “Come get me when you’re done,” she said, and then stood up and left the room.

Faith’s fingers felt light with anticipation as she tapped the phone icon and typed in Scott’s name. His number came up. Seeing his name and number, gave her pause. As she stared at his name on the screen, she realized how long it had truly been. This was a big move for her, and she knew it, but just like Nan had said, it was important to take a chance. She needed to finally be supportive of her sister and her brother-in-law. She hit “call” and put the phone to her ear. Her heart pounded as the phone pulsed its ringing signal.

“Casey,” he answered on the first ring. Had he been hoping she’d call back?

“It’s,” she cleared her throat. “It’s Faith, actually.”

She heard rustling on the other end of the line, as if he were sitting up. “Faith? Is everything okay?”

“Yes and no.”

SEVENTEEN

It was as if the weight of the world had been taken off Faith’s shoulders. She was talking to Scott and she was fine. She was really fine. And she realized that she’d missed having him as her friend. That was what they were best at and what they would always be. She explained that Casey and Isabella were both okay, but the bad news was that she’d heard he was moving away, and she wouldn’t get to have all her favorite people together at once anymore. She told him how seeing Nan this week had put it all into perspective, and she felt awful for not spending more time with her family. Now, he was moving away just as she was hoping to have him back. She waited to hear what he had to say.

“I don’t want to go,” he said. “It’s just easier if I do.”

“I know what you mean. Casey’s a difficult person to love, but it doesn’t make me love her any less. I’m sure you feel the same way.”

He didn’t respond. She waited an excruciatingly long time, but nothing came.

“How will you see Isabella?” she asked.

The hum of the phone was the only sound for a little while and then, finally, he answered, “I want to have her with me. Joint custody at least.”

“Traveling like that could be hard on a little girl,” she pointed out. She was worried just thinking about it.

“I need a fresh start.”

He wasn’t saying much. Faith had told Casey that she wouldn’t tell him what Casey thought. It was up to Casey to tell him. Was there a way she could do it without breaking that promise? “Do you love Casey?” she asked, point blank.

“Of course,” he said without hesitation.

“Then why are you leaving her? I won’t tell her.” She knew that Scott was aware of how well she could keep secrets. Secrets were like tiny packages entrusted to people. They were wrapped up tightly and only the recipient was able to untie them. She’d been told many secrets over the years, and she’d kept every one of them. Scott knew that about her, so he’d trust her. She was sure of it.

“She doesn’t love me anymore. She loves her job. She loves Isabella. But she doesn’t love me.”

It was killing her. All those wonderful things Casey had told her about how she loved to curl up with Scott after he’d fallen asleep, how she missed him so much… She knew she couldn’t tell him. She had to find another way. “Did you know that Casey has never spent longer than a few minutes being sad in front of me? I thought she never got sad. I thought, maybe, she didn’t even care,” she said carefully. “What I didn’t know was that she doesn’t always show her emotions. She’s not good at that. She feels so much more than she lets anyone see. Have you ever thought of talking to her about it?”

“I let her actions speak for her love,” he said.

“But what I’m saying is, perhaps that’s not what you should do. Not with someone like Casey. I think you need to talk to her.”

“Why should I talk to her? She doesn’t seem the least bit affected by my leaving?”

Ugh
. That’s nearly what Casey had said about
him
. “I promise you. You
need
to talk to her.”

“Thank you for trying, Faith. I have to go. Sorry. I have to be somewhere, and I’m a little late. It was good to talk to you. I’m so happy you called. Can we talk again soon?”

“Sure.” She said her goodbyes and hung up.

The call had been bittersweet. It had gone by so quickly that it was difficult to register the magnitude of what had actually happened. She’d just talked to Scott, and it had been perfectly fine between the two of them. He’d been understanding and sweet, as she knew he would be. The best part of it all, though, was that, without her feelings clouding her mind, she really enjoyed talking to him, and it felt just the same as it had when they were younger. Being around him would be easy.

But even though she’d made progress with her relationship with Scott, she hadn’t changed a thing with him and Casey, which was what she’d set out to do. Both of them thought the same things; they needed to talk to each other. It was their battle to fight; she just hoped they’d fight it instead of letting their pride get in the way.

She sat for a moment in Casey’s room, holding the phone. Then got up, set the phone on the dresser, and went out to be with her family.

“That was nice of Jake to bring Isabella’s necklace by,” Nan said as she joined them all that the table. Jake had already gone.

“Yes.” She was eyeing her sister across the table, wanting to tell her everything but remembering that she’d promised Scott she wouldn’t. So, instead, she continued the conversation about Jake. “He said the clasp must be loose.”

“I’ll have to get a jeweler to look at it,” Casey said. She was leaned forward, her gaze on Faith.

“I want to go to the beach,” Isabella said, climbing down off her chair. She’d left a half-eaten waffle and a cup of milk. “Mommy, can we go to the beach?”

“Why don’t you take her, Martha? Enjoy yourself. I’m sure the girls will clean up breakfast for you,” Nan said.

Her mom looked back and forth between her two girls, and it was clear that she could tell something was going on. “I’d be happy to. But I want to be filled in on anything good when I get back,” she said with a grin.

“Yay!” Isabella jumped around in a circle before running off for her flip-flops.

Once she was out of earshot, her mom whispered in Faith’s direction, “I heard you talked to Scott. I want to know all about it after Isabella’s in bed tonight.” Faith nodded. “Okay, Isabella, let’s go down and get your sand toys.”

“What did he say?” Casey said with urgency as her mom and Isabella left the house.

“Just like I told you I wouldn’t tell him what you’d said, I promised him the same. You need to call him, Casey.
You
need to tell him.” Nan, who hadn’t heard the whole story yet, sat silently. She’d never ask for details; she knew how Casey was. She’d wait for one of them to tell her, but Faith wondered if she already knew. She was a sharp woman; she didn’t miss a thing. Faith turned to Nan. “Has Casey heard your “taking chances” story yet? If not, she needs it.”

Nan laughed. “Yes, dear. She’s heard it too.”

“It’s not as easy as just telling him,” Casey said, her hopes clearly dashed.

Faith knew Casey was hoping for a grand response, something that would be life-changing, but the truth was, life didn’t work like that. It didn’t end in a grand finale or some firework-filled moment. It was, like Nan had said, a million tiny moments that when added up made a pretty great life. Faith was only learning that slowly; it was starting to sink in.

“Casey,” she said, walking around the table and standing in front of her sister. “Be honest with yourself. What do you want?”

“What do you mean? You know what I want.”

“Well, clearly, you don’t or you’d go and get it. You always have before.” Faith walked back in to Casey’s room, and got her cell phone. When she returned, she set it down in front of her sister.

“Stop being so worried about what he will think. Stop guessing at his actions because you’re too proud to ask him what he feels. If you love him, Casey, tell him. Tell him what you’re feeling or he’ll never know! Start with just a sentence. It doesn’t have to be long. But tell him something. Take a chance!”

Casey sat, her hands in her lap, her eyes on her phone.

“We’re here for you, Casey,” Nan said. “Just try. It can’t hurt a thing.”

“I can’t do it.”

“Yes, you can!” Faith pressed. “He’s your husband. You love him, right? You can tell him anything.”

“It’s different now.”

“Why? He’s the same person he always was.”

Faith could see Casey’s face change as the anxiety of the task began to take hold. She was thinking about it. Without warning, she grabbed the phone, opened up the screen and began typing. When she was finished, she held it in her hands for a few long seconds. Then, she turned the phone around. It said simply, “I love you.” With a smile twitching at her lips, Casey hit send and set it down on the table, her hands shaking just slightly.