Summer Burns (23 page)

I couldn
'
t live in that vortex of constant worry again. When Jake was gone, my asthma went into overdrive. Even when he was just gone for brief training, I worried that he
'
d be called back over to Iraq or Afghanistan without any warning.

It would take a special type of man to step into my life and stay there.

More than just someone who
wanted
to be home for dinner.

A man who
was
home, and happy being a part of me and Emma
'
s life.

And Emma
...

I felt like a total shit for letting Emma connect with Matthew. Though really, I couldn
'
t have stopped it if I wanted to--she fell in love with him that first day in the pizzeria.

"
What do you want, Matthew? What do you want from me?
"

He looked ahead at the movie screen, but I doubted he saw it.
"
I don
'
t know.
"

I had a feeling that he knew exactly what he wanted.

And I was pretty sure it wasn
'
t what I wanted at all.

Chapter Seventeen

A week later

"
Well, hello there, handsome,
"
a brunette said as she sashayed toward Hennessey. The isle in Target had plenty of room for them both, but she closed in on him like she knew him.

He raised his eyebrow.
"
Hello, ma
'
am.
"
He tried to remember if he
'
d met her before.

"
Oh please don
'
t call me
'
ma
'
am,
'
I am not that old, there, soldier.
"
She leaned into him. He moved away from her, but she had him pinned against the isle of birthday cards.

"
How do you know I
'
m a soldier?
"

The woman laughed a little too hard.
"
You have that look about you.
"
Her gaze roamed over him, and he froze, unsure if he should move.

So this is what a deer feels like
...

What he should do, he wasn
'
t sure. He
'
d been really good lately at screwing things up. Like last week, he
'
d thought that flowers for Summer and Emma would be a good thing--a positive thing to lead them in a forward movement.

While she
'
d been appreciative of the gesture, Summer still didn
'
t want to talk about things. Hell, he wasn
'
t a big fan of talking either, but he wanted to know where this was going between them. If it was something he needed to put stock in, or just cut his losses and be done.

What he wanted didn
'
t seem to mesh with what she wanted, anyway.

Maybe he
'
d done something wrong.

Maybe going back to the therapist would help him sort this stuff out--figure out what he should be doing.

Like now, with this brunette woman staring at him. How did he handle women flirting with him? He guessed polite was probably the best bet.

He held out his hand.
"
Hennessey.
"

"
I
'
m Shelby,
"
she said with a grin, and shook it.
"
Pleasure to meet you.
"
Her fingers lingered a little too long on his.
"
You new here in Barrum?
"

"
Sort of,
"
he replied and crossed his arms.
"
I lived here when I was a kid.
"
He tried to remember the woman, even going back to his short tenure at Summer
'
s high school.

Didn
'
t help.

"
Oh how sweet, coming home. Your family here? I don
'
t recognize the name.
"
She did this stretch, twist thing that was probably supposed to make her look sexy, angling her cleavage for better view.
"
I
'
ve lived here all my life. I know everyone.
"
She still didn
'
t seem familiar to him.

"
They don
'
t live here.
"
He tried to inch away from her, but it wasn
'
t working that well.

She tipped her head a little.
"
You married?
"

"
No.
"

"
Well, if you need any help while you
'
re in town, I know all the bright spots of Barrum. I
'
d be happy to show around.
"
She stroked his forearm.

"
There
'
s bright spots in Barrum?
"
he asked. Right now, the place felt sort of cloudy to him--well, everything felt sort of cloudy to him.

Probably had a lot to do with Summer
'
s declaration of not wanting to deal with this thing they had going on between them.

Maybe it was best.

He was almost done here anyway. He needed to get back to Fort Hood. He had a lot of crap ahead of him over the next six months.

He didn
'
t need the distraction of Summer Bettes. He glanced at his basket--a little girl
'
s Disney necklace rested amidst the essentials he had grabbed.

He probably should put that back.

The woman jarred him from his thoughts.
"
There
'
s lots of bright spots here,
"
Shelby said, her smile a bit too wide, and her sincerity didn
'
t quite reach her eyes. She handed him a piece of paper as she half wrapped her arm around him.

He thought she was trying to hug him, and he figured he might as well work with it, rather than fight--if only to get it over with.

"
Here
'
s my number. Call me.
"
She sort of whispered that in his ear. When she pulled away, though, she straightened up.
"
And thank you for your service to our country.
"
She walked away, shaking what her momma gave her.

He took the paper and shoved it in his pocket.

Maybe he
'
d give it to Ortiz. That guy always was looking for a date.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement at the end of the isle.

He turned.

A woman pushing a cart was hurrying away.

From the back, he couldn
'
t tell who it was, but she looked familiar.

Chapter Eighteen

Saturday Night

Emma darted around the living room stuffed full of people.

"
Really, I appreciate you bringing her home tonight,
"
I said to Paula. Work had been a monster at the shop--I was slammed from eight-thirty until four. Then Mom wanted me to get some stuff at the store on my way home.

Which of course I did, because, yeah. If your mom calls and wants you to get stuff, you do it. No questions asked.

Paula followed me into the kitchen. I offered her a glass of wine, but she didn
'
t take it, instead grabbed a chunk of cheese off the little hors d'oeuvre tray Mom had made earlier.

I went back to my veggies.

Evidently, we were having a barbecue tonight with guests. A house full already of people had greeted my arrival--Winter and her grown twins, including the kids
'
significant others--I can
'
t believe I have a niece and nephew old enough to have significant others.

On top of that was a couple of the stylists from work and their families were here along with some of Mom
'
s friends. I checked the calendar--no sign, moon or seasonal phase to mark the evening, but I couldn
'
t put it past Mom to be celebrating some kind of astrological
something
tonight.

The place was busting at the seams.

I was in the kitchen, chopping up vegetables for dinner. People were in and out in a constant stream.

I was ready to hide in my room and read a book, if only for some peace.

"
Do you want help?
"
Paula asked.

I shook my head.
"
Thanks, though. You can stay for dinner if you want, Paula.
"

"
I appreciate the gesture, but we
'
re going to dinner at Red Lobster when I get back.
"

"
Fancy,
"
I said with a grin.
"
You celebrating something?
"

"
Not exactly. We got a gift card last Christmas and never used it.
"

"
Those are the best dinners,
"
I replied as I chopped, happy for her. She needed to do something nice every once in a while. Probably much better on her mentality too, instead of sitting home and watching true crime TV.

Paula glanced around the house, like she was looking for someone. Okay, I knew she was looking for someone. It was pretty obvious she was scoping the place out for Matthew.

"
He
'
s not here,
"
I said. I
'
d invited him over--rather, I
'
d sent him a text earlier, before I knew about this collection of people. Whether he was coming, though, was another thing.

He never did answer me back.

"
I would think a military man would always be punctual.
"

I raised my eyebrow.
"
He usually is.
"

"
Is there something wrong between you two?
"
We hadn
'
t broached the subject of Matthew since she
'
d been here when he arrived with the corsages for us, and I had hoped that maybe, just maybe, Paula would be calming down over the whole idea.

Guess not. I gritted my teeth.
"
Everything
'
s just fine, thank you.
"

A straight-up lie, but I wasn
'
t telling her that. I wasn
'
t sure exactly what was wrong. Even though Matthew and I talked a bit over the last week, after the drive-in, he wasn
'
t the same.

I wasn
'
t the same either. Quantifying what was going on between us--putting a name on it, and a level in the relationship, well, I wasn
'
t ready to do that. Because eventually, all levels moved up.

Maybe I was jumping a few, but I didn
'
t want to be a military wife again, which was where it would wind up.

Back to being
happily alone
again.

I glanced at this house full of people, and I knew in my heart that was part of the problem. Traveling around the country again? That was not for me. Not anymore. I did that for far too long during my marriage.

Even if it did mean that Matthew would be with me.

When he was here, anyway.

Paula nodded.
"
I saw him today at Target.
"

"
Oh yeah?
"

"
He was talking to
that woman
.
"

I blinked.
"
Pardon?
"

Paula glanced at me, her eyebrow raised.

She and I may not agree on much, but we agreed on
that woman
, every single time. The only time Paula praised me--outside of anything involving Emma--was when I beat the crap out of Shelby under the bleachers when she tried to steal Jake away.