Sugar Daddy (14 page)

I don’t hear the condo door open, but I do hear the jangle and clank of Beck’s keys as he tosses them onto the foyer table. I stay on my side, facing the windows overlooking the Financial District, and wait for him to come to me. I woke up about twenty minutes ago and was content to stay under the warm covers and consider how drastically my life seems to be changing on an almost daily basis.

I am now somehow involved in a relationship with a man I targeted as an unwitting pawn in a scheme to commit murder.

Beck North started out as a means to an end, most likely an innocent bystander, and I sacrificed what few remaining principles I had in order to bring him deeper into my web. And yet, as I lie here and stare out the window, envisioning the gorgeous man walking down the hallway to me at this very moment, I can’t help but feel that perhaps I’m the one who’s trapped in a web at this moment.

I can’t help feeling that’s not a bad thing.

Cool air hits my naked backside, then to my surprise, an equally naked Beck slides into the bed and presses in against me, his chest to my back, his arm around my waist, his pelvis and hardening dick to my butt, and his legs tangling with mine. He pulls me in deeper and rests his chin on my shoulder.

“Did I wake you up?” he asks softly, sliding his hand up to cup my breast. He does nothing more than press his warm palm to my skin and hold it in a gentle cradle.

I shake my head. “I’ve been up for a little bit.”

“How do you feel?” he asks tentatively.

“Very well used,” I tell him on a light laugh, and then after a slight hesitation, I offer an honest admission. “Fantastic actually.”

A low chuckle rumbles against me and he squeezes me closer. “Me too.”

Both of us…reveling in the newness of what we agreed to enter into last night. Me, right this moment, amazed at how good it feels to have him wrapped around me.

Me…Sela Halstead…perhaps no longer a victim? Perhaps becoming a normal woman who enjoys intimacy?

Craves it actually…with this man, that is.

Amazing.

“How did it go?” I ask him, and thus I’ve opened us up to have a discussion about his business. But I figured, what the hell…we are now in a relationship, so why not. Besides…all starry-eyed romantic notions aside, I still need intel on JT, and this is the best way to get it.

“I think we worked things out,” he says after a moment’s hesitation.

“How so?” I ask, feeling a little out of sorts. Beck sounds far too calm.

“JT’s promised to get his shit together. It seemed genuine—”

I spin in the bed, flopping over onto my side to face Beck. I’m outraged for a blinding second and my hands come to press on his chest to push him back from me so I can look him directly in the eye. “He tried to drug a woman last night,” I grit out, my blood raging with fury.

Beck shakes his head and his hands come to cover mine with a reassuring squeeze. “That’s what I thought too, Sela. I was prepared to force him to leave with that, and if he refused, I was calling the police.”

“So why isn’t that asshole sitting in the back of a police car right now?” I ask sarcastically.

“Because the woman agreed to it,” Beck says with what I admit is a clear sound of disgust. “There’s a written agreement.”

I rear backward and my eyebrows shoot to the middle of my forehead before coming back down in a narrowed gaze of suspicion. “Agreed to it?”

“It was a fantasy of hers apparently,” Beck says with a sheepish shrug.

“Or of his,” I retort, but then immediately ask, “Did you see the agreement?”

He shakes his head. “He’ll get it to me tomorrow.”

I drop my eyes, look at his hands gripping mine against his chest. “I don’t believe it. I don’t trust him.”

Beck pulls a hand from mine, puts his knuckles under my chin, and raises my gaze back to his. “Hey…I get you’re upset about what he did, but if there’s an agreement and that was consensual, I can’t do anything about it.”

“It wasn’t consensual,” I say bitterly, and pull away from him, rolling the opposite way toward the edge of the bed. Why can’t he see Jonathon Townsend for what he really is?

“Hey,” Beck exclaims, and his arm is wrapping around my waist, pulling me back. He comes to his knees, drags me back into him, and brings both arms around to hold me tight. His chin goes back to my shoulder and he asks softly, “What’s this all about?”

I shrug.

“Sela…talk to me,” he demands.

“There’s something wrong with him,” I whisper, my voice clogging with emotion. I want so badly to tell Beck exactly what I mean by that, but I can’t tell him the truth yet. To do that would be to expose my intentions. Beck would see immediately that he was targeted and he would question my feelings for him. I can’t do that. I can’t give him up, nor the close positioning that a relationship with Beck puts me in with JT.

“He’s wayward,” Beck agrees with frustration. “A douche. Irrational, impulsive, and immature. He’s all of that, but he’s promised to get his shit together, Sela, and outside of some clear wrongdoing on his part with regard to the company, I don’t have much choice but to go along with it. The only chance I had to break free was the threat of exposing him to the police last night, but that’s not an option now.”

I sag back against Beck, completely exhausted over this conversation. I hear it in Beck’s voice…he’s torn between wanting to get away from a bad situation and the hope that comes with promises of something better. It’s certainly an easier fix, and I try desperately to give credence to Beck’s thought process.

In his mind, he has nothing concrete to use against JT. He’s backed into a corner and he can either walk or hope for a peaceful resolution with a bit more patience on his part. Is it wrong that he’s choosing this option versus leaving his dream behind?

I don’t think I can find fault with that, and while I know deep in my gut that JT was planning to drug and rape that woman last night, and I don’t believe for a moment that there’s a legitimate agreement in place whereby that woman agreed to that, I have to be careful about how strong my opposition is at this point. I can never underestimate not only the bonds of a long-lasting friendship between those men, but the fact that Beck and JT are intertwined by a lot of fucking money that might be more important to Beck than how great a fuck I am.

I sigh, sink further into Beck, and lean my head back so it rests on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” I mutter. “I just don’t like your partner, but I totally get where you’re coming from.”

“Sela,” Beck murmurs, sounding frustrated and exhausted all at once. “This is my only option at this moment. It doesn’t mean I trust him fully and doesn’t mean that he won’t fuck this up. It’s just the only play I have.”

I nod and bring my arms up and over his, holding him tighter to me. “I know. I understand.”

Beck sighs in relief and then places his teeth at my earlobe. He gives a playful bite, then licks before he says, “JT wants to do dinner with us both. He seems happy for me.”

I tense up but try to sound inquisitively relaxed when I ask, “Oh yeah? You told him about us?”

“I did,” Beck says, sounding happy with himself. “JT called you my girlfriend. Sounds sort of high schoolish, doesn’t it?”

There’s no helping the laugh that comes out of my mouth, because it does sound a little immature. I can’t help jumping off track from my concerns when I ask, “So…is this like official or something? We’re, what…dating?”

“Dating, fucking, cohabitating,” Beck says as he pulls me down to the bed. He rolls, and I go to my back, then he rolls right on top of me. My legs spread on their own accord and he settles in between them. I love the way the hairs on his legs brush against my smooth skin and the warmth of his cock that’s semihard and nestled against my bare mound. “I’m not sure what label you and I have at this point, but I’m liking where we are right at this moment.”

My eyes flutter closed and I moan as he presses his pelvis down and rotates his hips a bit. “Mmmmmm…me too.”

“Sela?” Beck says softly, and my eyes open slowly to look at him. His face is hovering over mine and his gaze is sparkling with intensity. “Do you trust me? I mean…at least in the way I’m handling JT right now?”

“Well, that’s not for me to say,” I offer hesitantly.

“Yes, it is,” he admonishes me with a stern look. “You don’t like him. Your run-ins with him have been less than stellar, and so you have very good reason not to like him. And while you and I haven’t known each other long, I think we’re both trying to build something here, and I don’t want my personal or business decisions causing you to doubt me.”

I blink in surprise at the desperation in his voice. I raise a hand, place it to his cheek, and realize with utter honesty that while I may not like what JT is doing to Beck, I do in fact trust what Beck’s decided to do in that regard. I, better than anyone, know that sometimes you have to go with the long-range plan when it comes to dealing with snakes like Jonathon Townsend.

I nod. “Yes. I trust what you’re doing with JT.”

Relief swells within Beck’s blue eyes and he smiles at me in gratitude. His face drops closer and his lips brush against me briefly before his forehead drops to mine. He holds still there for a moment, and I close my eyes, relishing this softly intimate embrace of silence.

“Sela?” Beck whispers my name again and then he pulls his face away. Looking down at me with the most serious expression I’ve ever seen on his beautiful face, he asks, “Would you trust me to let me fuck you without a condom?”

My entire body tightens with shock over his proposition and then clenches even harder with the sinful wonder of what that would feel like. I then flush warm, not from the erotic suggestion, but from the care and trust that this implies. I think I feel the stone of my heart actually start to disintegrate, collapsing in wispy, dusty piles at the bottom of my chest.

I open my mouth to answer him, but he’s apparently not done. He kisses me hard, then speaks to me in urgent whispers. “You see, because here’s the thing…I’m closer to you right now than any woman in my life outside of my sister, and that’s a different kind of closeness. But I want to be even closer to you. I want to crawl inside of you, Sela, and feel every inch of you against me. I don’t want any barriers and I don’t want any fucking walls between us. Just you and me, touching…you melding into me, me into you. I want to know what that feels like with you…the bare skin of my cock slippery from your juices. I want to come deep inside you, planted to the root. Mark you as mine. I want that so fucking bad. Is there enough trust between us we can have that? Would you give that to me?”

My head spins and my chest constricts with aching pleasure over his words. The lust wrapped with infinite tenderness and yearning. His eyes begging me for something I’ve never given another man. Never wanted that closeness. Always wanted that thin barrier of rubber protecting me not just from STDs but from a true connection.

But so help me God…I want it now with this man.

He knows I’m protected from pregnancy because he’s well aware of the packet of birth control pills that sits out in the open on his bathroom vanity. He even reminds me each morning to take it, but I’ve never failed in that responsibility. I think by the mere fact he’s asking if I trust him must imply he trusts me, but I need to make sure.

I’m pretty sure that on my sixteenth birthday, my rapists used condoms. That’s a thought that’s always increased my humiliation, because they didn’t wear them out of any concern for me. They did it without knowing I was a virgin, had never had sex before, and just assumed that perhaps I was filthy and would give them something. Let’s face it…I’m pretty sure I gave them that impression.

I also remember, in my nightmares, which I think are actual memories, the distinctive sound of a rubber snapping off just before he came in my mouth. I didn’t know what that sound was then, but when the doctors found trace lubricant from condoms in my vagina and anus, it pretty much confirmed that they all covered up to protect themselves, not me. In addition, I was tested for every STD known to man, as well as given the morning-after pill as a precaution, and I came away from that experience with filth on my soul but not in my vagina.

“I’m clean,” I say, my voice rough with emotion of why I can say that. I’ve never been with a man unprotected. Ever, and it’s nice I can give that assurance to Beck.

“I know,” he says, and while he’s not saying he knows from actual knowledge, he’s saying he knows to trust me. “You have nothing to worry about me. I promise you’re safe.”

“I know,” I murmur the same words back to him. Same as him, I just know. That means I trust that Beck will not hurt me.

The effect on Beck is immediate. I feel his dick swell and beat against me. He closes his eyes, he takes in a deep breath, and when he opens them again, he says, “Christ…I want this so bad.”

My answer is to spread my legs, raise my knees, and cradle him closer into me. I can feel wetness seeping out, my body more than ready to take this to the next level. Beck bends his head, places his mouth against mine, and breathes into me. He rotates his hips, and as if our bodies recognize exactly where they are supposed to be, the head of his cock presses into my opening. Beck thrusts against me gently, pushing in and working out in short, slow movements, and the feeling is exquisite. He feels so much warmer, the heat of his bare skin sliding against mine.

My pulse fires out of control over the emotion and intimacy of this moment. It’s the first time I’ve taken a man inside of me with absolutely no barriers between our bodies, but more important…with nothing between our souls. We are as naked as we will ever be, bared and stripped to nothing but our basic need for each other.

“Beck,” I murmur as he pushes in deeper. My legs press in hard against his ribs, I tilt my hips, and try to drag him in further.

A huge breath gusts out of his mouth, flutters across my face. He rotates his hips…slides deeper into me.

“Jesus,” he groans almost as if he’s in pain. “Nothing should feel this good, Sela. Do you know how dangerous it is to both of us to feel this good?”