Suffering & Salvation (2 page)

She looked away, both unsure and apprehensive. Nervousness churned in her belly, turning her hearty dinner sour. Cougar growled at her. Her animal was upset, displeased with her indecision.

Simi licked her lips and turned her attention back to Brand. “I-I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

Brand brought a hand forward and rested it along her cheek, thumb rubbing circles over her skin. “So soft. When you know, you tell me, okay?”

Simi couldn’t believe she didn’t even flinch at the stranger’s touch. She nodded and he leaned back. Releasing her, his fingers trailed ever-so-slowly over her skin as if trying to savor their touch. Upon separating, a part of her wanted him to put his hand back, to feel the rub of skin against skin.

Simi dropped her gaze, looking for anything to keep from staring at the handsome stranger across from her. Shifter like her, animal named Wolfie.

She picked at the leftovers of her meal, but there wasn’t much remaining on the tray.

“All done? Ready to find a place to sleep?” He rocked forward and rose from the chair—full of fluid grace and power.

She followed suit, if a little slower, and absent of any grace at all. She stumbled, knees weak and threatening to give out.

Brand rushed forward, grabbing her before she crumbled to the ground. He pulled her tight against him, pressing the front of his hard body against her, from shoulder to ankle. He truly was all muscle and power and strength. She relaxed into him, if for a fleeting moment, and enjoyed the feel of him. What it would be like to be held and protected and cherished by this strong, yet gentle man…

Against her stomach a new hardness made itself known and she stiffened, her immediate reaction was to get away, to run. Even Cougar agreed, not remotely ready to be with a man in that way, just to be torn and battered and treated like garbage.

He ran a hand down her back and palmed her head to his chest. “Shh, little cat, shh… I can’t deny we want you, but only if you’re willing. And if that’s never, then that is what it is, okay?”

Cougar settled, taking Brand’s words at face value, showing a trust that Simi didn’t quite share—at least, not yet. But she relaxed into his hold just the same. Maybe it was because she’d promised. The day she’d run, she’d promised Cougar to pay more attention to her, to trust in her instincts more than ever, for the two of them to work in unison, together as beast and human. Cougar hadn’t been wrong with Malcolm. Cougar had begged Simi to leave—perpetually at times—until a few weeks ago, when Simi had finally come to her senses and listened.

She inhaled their scent, wolf and man’s, putting her guard down a little, purring with a hint of contentment. He stroked her back some more, just up and down, from shoulder to waist and back again, never going or pushing below that imaginary line. His hand cradled her head as if he would a child, soft, but protective.

“You okay now?”

“Yeah. I-I’m sorry for my behavior.”

He squeezed a smidge tighter before releasing her. “Nothing to be sorry about, little one. Nothing at all.”

Simi watched as Brand strode to the door and opened it, once again gesturing for her to precede him. Cougar made sure she watched his retreating butt with every step he took before accepting his offer.

“Let’s get you settled in for the night.”

She nodded, locking gazes with him for a moment before lowering her head.
No!
She didn’t have to look away anymore. Not with Malcolm out of the picture.

He reached for her hand, taking his time like before, twining their fingers together in a loose hold before tugging her along. They went through the doorway and down a long hall, the sounds coming from the homeless crowd growing less and less with each step forward. He stopped in front of a door with no name or label to indicate what it hid.

Brand ran a hand through his hair, frustration etched on his face as well as in the tensing of his muscular frame. “I don’t really have anywhere else to put you right now, Simi. I don’t want to put you in one of the main rooms. The noise…the overcrowding… I think that’ll drive Cougar and you crazy.”

She hadn’t planned on getting any real sleep anyway. She only wished for a warm place. For one night. To perhaps feel…safe.
Why is he being so nice to me? Singling me out?

With a sigh, he unlocked the door and opened it. She went in and absorbed what the space had to offer, trying not to think too much about the reasons for his overly kind gesture. Her mind raced, but she was too tired to be analyzing anything. The small room was sparsely furnished, with a large couch, TV and stand, and a small coffee table dominating most of the area. Through an open doorway near the corner closest to where Simi stood, she could make out a bed that had Cougar immediately thinking
comfy and inviting.

“It’s my apartment when I stay here. I’ll take the couch. You won’t have to worry about anything, little one, I swear it.” The words jumbled together, one into another, and she took a moment to decipher their meaning.

She nodded. “Cougar likes it.” Simi turned around to face him, his body filling the doorway. “And I do too.” A couple of small steps brought her before him, then an easy shift of her muscles had the two of them hugging. Arms resting around his waist, she did her best to do what her body asked: to let go and relish this embrace of her own making. To not be the victim anymore. Stop overthinking and open her heart, just a crack, and show this kind stranger who the real Simi was. “Thank you.”

Something touched the top of her head, lips or fingers or both, and though she and Cougar didn’t care which, Simi was proud of herself for not stopping Brand from doing it. He held her tighter against his solid frame, his erection pressing into her. She didn’t push into it, but she also didn’t shy away, either. And for her, not running away like a scaredy-cat felt like something of an accomplishment.

Brand released her and stepped back before turning her around and marching her farther into the room. “The bedroom’s through there. You can probably scrounge up something to sleep in. And I’ve got more food in the mini fridge. I’ve gotta go and help supervise for a little while, so just keep the door locked.” He turned her around again, this time to face him. “You scream for anything, and I’ll come to you, okay? No one has a key to this room but me, and I’ll yell through the door before I open it, all right?”

She nodded, staring at his glittering eyes, imagining that his need to protect her was projecting from them. “Okay,” Simi replied.

Brand moved his head in agreement. “Good. Eat, watch TV and get some rest. I shouldn’t be but a couple of hours.” He moved away from her and headed back toward the door. He stepped into the doorway, but before leaving, he turned back to her, and said, “Take care of yourself, little one. I can’t believe I’m saying this to you, but you’ve—” Brand sighed “—you’ve become…uh…important to me, and I’m not really sure why.”

Then he suddenly left the small apartment, the soft click of the lock engaging trailing after his rushed departure. She hurried to the door, ear pressed against the thick wood, listening to his retreating footsteps—her sense of safety quickly dissipating the farther away he got. She double-checked the lock to make sure it really was secure.

Confident that it was, she pushed away from the wood and twirled around to admire her new surroundings. Considering where she’d been for the past few weeks, this was paradise. Heaven on Earth. She shuffled through the living room, hand trailing over the fabric of the worn couch. Even that seemed like it was a luxury.

Simi padded into the bedroom and stopped in awe. And it wasn’t the bed that had her drooling where she stood. No, she and Cougar both rejoiced at the area connected
to
the bedroom. Holy crap, it was a bathroom. A great, glorious bathroom, complete with the most inviting garden tub. Cougar couldn’t swim in it, but she could at least bathe in some nice, hot water and splash around a little.

Tearing her attention away from the prized tub, she took in the rest of what the apartment had to offer. There was a large dresser against one wall, and a washer and dryer stacked against another. By all appearances, Brand basically lived in an efficiency apartment at the shelter. She nibbled her lip, wondering if she could take advantage of the bath and washer and dryer. Mostly the really nice tub. One she hadn’t had the use of in quite some time, making her want to bathe that much more.

Screw it. Strange place or not, she took what the man had said at face value and sprang into action. Simi dug through dresser drawers and found something to change into before starting a small load of laundry, and then blessedly went to the bathroom, but more importantly, the bathtub.

She took a quick shower first, getting the grime of the streets off of her skin and out of her hair, scrubbing until the water ran clear. Simi’s hair was a deep gold, mimicking the color of Cougar’s fur, and now that she was clean, she could see hints of that shade returning as the marvelous feel of water cascaded over her.

With the dirt washed away, she filled the tub with hot water, steam wafting from the surface, tempting her. Cougar purred and paced and impatiently waited, delighted by the prospect of clean water gliding all over her skin and fur. Oh, yeah. Simi felt the same way.

One foot at a time, she slipped into the heat, allowing it envelope her before letting Cougar out to play. Magic shimmered and danced around them, the glitter and sparkle of power, signifying the change, overtaking her human form. There was no distress…simply joy. Elated at being released after so much time in confinement, at being finally set free.

Malcolm never let her shift. He didn’t allow her to do anything. Unless it was to please him. Oh, at the beginning of their relationship, it’d been different, she supposed. When she was young and impressionable, when he’d managed to convince her she was going to be
his.
And sadly, to her detriment, she’d accepted him…like a doe-eyed, little girl. Cougar’s instincts be damned. Hell, as if she’d even had the choice.

Then came the hitting and the name calling and everything else no woman or animal should ever have to live to endure… She could only look back and thank god that though she was with him, the two had never formed that special bond of true mates. Never marked one another with the bite.

Simi had dealt with all the punishment he could dish out. Until she’d hit her boiling point. It was either death by his or her hands, or leave and give themselves a second chance. She chose to fight.

Oh, but Cougar…poor Cougar hadn’t been out in
so
long. It wasn’t fair for her to be cooped up like that. Her animal was meant to be wild and free, not kept in a cage.

Fur rippled through her skin and her body reshaped, taking her animal and bringing it forth, letting it have a bit of happiness in this sorrow-filled world of theirs. Simi’s consciousness melted away as Cougar’s sprang out into the open.

Before long, Cougar had all the control, the power, and Simi let go, floating to the back of Cougar’s mind, watching her animal play and slap at the water. Cougar rolled over and over, slipping and sliding against the fiberglass tub, tail flinging droplets of liquid all over the bathroom floor. Simi laughed, indulging in her animal’s joy, not caring about the mess she’d be cleaning up later.

Cougar was over the moon. It’d been
years,
if not their entire lifetime, since they’d been this genuinely happy. Because they weren’t under Pride’s rule…or the tyrannical control of that son of a bitch named Malcolm.

Cougar listened to her thought, then went back to playing, dunking her head beneath the surface, only to come up and shake it free of the bathwater. Again and again Cougar did this, frolicking, milking it for all its worth.

A noise. A shuffle. Something caught Cougar’s attention and the fear came roaring back. Cougar growled and hissed, sensing what Simi could not.

Quietly, so quietly, Cougar left the tub, water dripping all over the floor, waves lapping at the edge of the tub in the wake of her exit. The cat crept forward, nose scenting, processing, cataloguing—everything. The air conditioner kicked on, and it didn’t take long before the smells contained in the room wafted to her keen nose. Then it was there…she caught the scent, the source of the sound.

“Well, my dear. It seems as though you’ve fucked up here, doesn’t it?” the voice she despised with all of her heart and soul preceded the man who now stood at the bathroom doorway.

Cougar growled low, eyes narrowed, fangs bared.
Malcolm.
He’d found them, and now that he had, she wondered if he were there to kill them or to take them back to their hellhole. But how in the hell did he get in here? It really didn’t matter now, because the fact of the matter was…she knew this day would come. She also knew that if nothing else, Malcolm was a driven man. Fueled by rage and hate. So, did she really expect something like a door and a lock to keep her safe from him?

Knowing their time on the run might be ending, Simi and Cougar both began to mourn. Grieve the lost chance to get to know the stranger with a kind heart. Brand. And what about Wolfie? Suddenly, Simi realized what she’d been pushing away all evening. The freedom of choice. And with that, she chose to fight, to stay where she was and be a slave no longer. She’d be damned if she was just going to roll over and submit. Or run away again, for that matter. Especially not for Malcolm.

“You’ll have to be punished,
bitch.
”

The derogatory name, the way he said it with such animosity, laced with unmatched bitterness, sent goose bumps rising along her skin. So unlike Brand. Not even close. Brand was gentle—
his
words were full of promise. Malcolm was nothing but a threat, like the devil incarnate, born of anger and hate.

Cougar pounced, using her weight to push through to the bedroom, shoving him flat on his ass. Bounding for the living room in search of more space to better fight, she squared off against Malcolm, claws digging into the cheap carpet, readying herself for combat, a battle to the death if need be. She’d do her damnedest…fight him tooth and claw. Cougar wanted to roll in Malcolm’s blood when he was dead, show everyone that she’d defeated this evil man, once and for all. Simi tried to reason with her, told her to focus, not wanting her to get too ahead of herself.