Suddenly Texan (15 page)

“For me, or what do I want for you?”

For us.
But she wasn't going to lay everything on the table. She wasn't going to put words in his mouth.

She let out a frustrated breath. “If you're asking me to stay, is it for you or because you think it's right for me?”

She watched the confused expression on Leo's face and knew right then that they weren't thinking the same things at all. “Never mind,” she said, picking up her computer and stowing it in her tote bag. “I've got to go.”

“No, wait. I'm thinking.”

“If you have to think that much, just forget about it.” She put her bag over her shoulder and took her car keys out of her pocket.

“Where are you going?”

“I'm going back to the Rocking C. I want to spend
some time with Troy.” She stood up and reached for her purse.

“Then what?” Leo's voice seemed to have an edge to it, an impatient, worried tone that she'd never heard from him until last night, in Cal's study.

“Then…I'm not sure. But honestly, it's my business.”

“I'm just a little confused. Why can't what I want be the same thing that you want?”

“Because we're not a couple. We don't know each other that well. And besides, you never have told me what you want for yourself. You say that you might not stay here, that you're not sure about your future. Why are you so concerned with
my
decisions when you haven't made any firm plans yourself?”

“So you want assurances that I'll always be here?”

“I didn't say that, but if we were to become involved, then yeah, I guess I would.”

“That's asking a lot.”

“I've settled for less all my life. I'm tired of settling. If you ask me to stay, you'd damn well better be offering something in return.”

“I repeat, you're asking a lot.”

“I know I am, but I'm worth it. And I'm tired of being timid about what I want. I waited ten years to find my brothers. I'm not waiting another ten years for a man to decide what he wants from life.”

“This is all new for me, too.”

“You're the only one who can decide what's right for you. Look, I appreciate all the help—driving me around, taking me shopping, taking me to dinner, arranging for me to stay in the condo. But it's time to move on.” She turned to walk out of the coffee shop before she
started crying for the gazillionth time since coming to this town.

They had generated quite an audience.

Amanda closed her eyes but could still see the faces of Sandy and James Brody, his mother, Caroline, and Clarissa, along with a few people she didn't recognize. Behind the counter, Riley stood with her mouth open, holding a stainless steel cup full of frothy milk.

Great. Just great. She'd completely forgotten she was in a public place. She'd just aired her dirty laundry, as her mother used to say, in front of a crowd.

But then Clarissa and Caroline came forward and hugged her.

“You stand up for yourself,” Clarissa said. “Don't you ever settle for less than you want.”

“That's right,” Caroline said. “He'll discover the right words sooner or later.”

“If it's not ‘sooner,' it may be never,” Amanda murmured. “I'm not waiting forever.”

“Of course not,” Clarissa agreed. “Now, you go home and see your brothers. And play with your niece and nephew. There's always family.”

Amanda nodded and made her way to the door, receiving encouragement from Sandy and a few others along the way. She made it to her car before her legs got wobbly and she collapsed on the seat.

She'd thought the most emotional moment of her trip would be confronting her brothers, but she'd been wrong. The hardest part of this whole journey was walking away from the man she loved.

Leo watched Amanda walk out the door. She seemed exhausted and defeated as she passed by the glass windows on the way to her car.

He wanted to go to her, take her canvas bag out of her hands, lift her burdens in any way he could. He wanted to fix this mess he'd somehow caused, but he had no idea how to do that.

James walked up to him.

“How much did you hear?” Leo asked.

“Enough to know that you're in way over your head. What were you thinking, trying to get her to stay when the only reason you can give is that it's a nice place to live?”

Leo shrugged. “I don't know. I think about saying other things, but then I open my mouth and nothing comes out but drivel.”

“Drivel is right. Man, you need some help.”

Leo looked back at his friend as Amanda drove away. “You're right. I need some advice.”

Sandy came up and laced her arm through James's. “And this man can help. He went through something similar when I was getting ready to leave town. He had
to come up with a better reason than wanting me to stay in town for the holidays.”

“But it is logical for her to start over here,” Leo said. “It's where her brother lives, and she already knows people here and they care about her.”

“Leo, your math brain is getting the better of you,” Sandy said. “Amanda is the kind of person who could make a place for herself anywhere. Of course people like her. You have to convince her that this is the one place on Earth that she can be happy.”

“But how do I do that?” Leo felt like stomping his feet and throwing a tantrum, just like a toddler in his store did last week.

“Man, don't you know?” James asked. “You admit that you love her and you ask her to spend the rest of her life with you. Stop thinking and start feeling.”

Sandy smiled up at her husband. “See how smart he is?”

 

L
OVE?
H
E LOVED
A
MANDA
? How could that be? When had that happened? Was it real?

Leo staggered up the steps like a drunk after a New Year's party. He had to think about this. He'd never been in love before. He had no idea what he was supposed to be feeling or if there were other signs or even if James and Sandy were right.

How could they know something about him that he didn't know himself?

He turned the key and let himself into the condo before collapsing on the couch.

And then he immediately remembered Amanda sitting there beside him, not touching, watching the movie. And talking. And then she'd literally attacked him with
kisses and told him she was absolutely sure she knew what she wanted.

But did she? Had he been fooling himself into thinking that what he wanted was to unravel her mystery, show her a really good time, enjoy her company for as long as they had together before she went on her way? Or he left on some new venture he couldn't describe or imagine at the moment?

Neither one of them had mentioned anything about love, and yet…there was something between them that felt so right, so intense, that he couldn't even put it into words. He'd never felt that way before and maybe that was why he didn't recognize whatever it was. But that was the heat of the moment, the passionate responses of two healthy, consenting adults.

How about what he felt when they were both fully dressed?

He thought back to the times they'd spent together. He'd gone shopping with her at thrift stores. He'd had to be patient when she wouldn't tell him why she'd come to town. He'd watched her struggle to tell her story and defend her mother to her brothers.

He hadn't liked any of those things, but he would gladly go through them again and again if it would help Amanda in some small way. He wanted her to be happy. She'd grown up differently from him, without the support and love of an extended family and community. He'd taken all that for granted in his own life. And yet Amanda had managed to become a kind, thoughtful person without those benefits. That was one of the reasons he admired her so much. That, and her perseverance and courage and…

Oh, God. He did love her. He was madly, passionately
and completely in love with Amanda Allen or Crawford or whatever name she wanted to call herself.

Or Casale. Now, there was a good name. One that she could claim if she married him and spent the rest of her life with him.

He leaned forward and pulled out his cell phone, quickly hitting his contacts. The phone rang three times as he tapped his foot and felt as if he might jump out of his skin.

“Mom?” he said quickly when she answered. “Look, I need to see you now. Can you meet me at the bank? Oh, and bring the safety deposit key.”

“Are you in trouble? Leo, what happened?”

“No, no, I'm great. Better than great. You know how you've been after me to settle down? Well, I finally figured out what that meant.”

There was a momentary pause, and then his mother said, “I can be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Make it ten.” He disconnected the call and headed for the door.

 

A
MANDA WANDERED THROUGH
the rooms of the old Crawford home, disappointed that it didn't have the same wallpaper or carpet or even cabinets as when her mother lived here. Christie explained that she'd remodeled the old place because it really needed a face-lift, never thinking that anyone wanted to see it the way it had been.

There were some photos, though, and Christie said she'd get them out. For now, Amanda wanted to be alone with her thoughts.

She'd stood up for herself with Leo, which felt good, but he'd let her down, which felt terrible. He'd seemed so
stunned by their confrontation in the coffee shop. She felt bad about making a spectacle in front of his friends and neighbors, but she hadn't done it on purpose. She'd just finally said what needed to be said.

She walked to the back kitchen window and looked out at the ranch. Bluebonnets and other wildflowers grew up the rocky hillside. A fence separated the yard from the closest barn. A few orphaned calves ate and frolicked there.
I know how you guys feel,
she felt like telling them.
Life goes on, even without your mom. At least you've got each other.

She now had Cal and Troy, plus Christie, Peter and little Callie. Troy promised that he and Raven would come see Amanda, wherever she settled, or she could come and stay with them. For the first time, she had lots of family, lots of options.

But she didn't have Leo.

She heard the front door open. Probably Christie, coming to see if she was okay. “Christie? I'm in the kitchen.”

“It's not Christie.” Leo appeared in the wide doorway between the kitchen and front hall.

“Oh.” Amanda stood there, hugging her middle. “What…what are you doing here?”

“I came to see you, of course.”

“Why?” Her heart began to beat faster as she searched his face. He looked different than he had this morning. She'd made him confused and a bit frantic, she knew. He'd appeared as frazzled as a handsome international man of mystery could get.

“Because I finally figured it out.”

“What?”

“Why I want you to stay.”

She twisted the hem of her shirt. Her palms felt sweaty. Please, please, give me the right answer.

“Why?”

He reached in his pocket and put something in his hand, then got down on one knee, right in the middle of Luanna Crawford's remodeled kitchen. Amanda put her hands on her chest to keep her heart from pounding right through her breastbone.

Leo ignored her death grip on her shirt, pried her left hand loose and held it tightly. “I love you, Amanda. I've never said that to anyone before and I hope to never say it to anyone but you the rest of my life.” He took a deep breath. “I realized that I started out wanting to spend time with you because you intrigued me. I wanted to protect you. I wanted to help you. I told you that I wanted to be your friend.”

He shifted a little, playing with her fingers. “Now I realize that I was just kidding myself. I fell in love with you and I don't even know exactly when. I didn't realize it and I'm sorry for that. You became such a part of me so fast. Now I can't imagine life without you.”

“Oh, Leo,” she whispered.

“Will you marry me, Amanda, and spend your life with me? No matter where you want to settle down, I'll be there with you. No matter how many garage sales you want to go to, I'll go with you. No matter how many secret relatives you have, I'll be there beside you.”

“What if I want to stay right here, forever?”

“Then that's what we'll do.”

“And if you decide you don't want to own the hardware store or restore old buildings?”

“A very wise person told me that I love my hardware store. I think I'd like to keep it.”

“And if you get the urge for new adventures?”

“Amanda, my love, you're all the adventure I want. Everything else comes in a very distant second to how I feel about you.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “Then yes, Leo Casale, I will marry you and love you for the rest of my life.”

He slipped a ring on her finger, but didn't give her time to see it before lunging to his feet, sweeping her into his arms and twirling her around the kitchen.

“You love me?” he asked as the room swam around them.

“Of course, I love you. You're the person I've been searching for even before I knew I wanted you. You're the family I need, the anchor that grounds me.”

He stopped spinning them and gazed into her eyes. “I never knew I could be this happy.”

“I never expected to feel this way, either. But I remember a wise man telling me that I deserved happiness. I just didn't know at the time that he was the one who would make all my dreams come true.”

She looked down at the ring on her finger. A delicate filigree setting in white gold held a modest diamond cut in the old-fashioned, less faceted style. “Is this from your family?”

“Great-grandmother's ring, passed down to the first-born sons. I know she's looking down on us, so glad that you're the one who will be my bride.”

“I will,” Amanda said, throwing her arms around his neck. “I wish I had something equally valuable to give to you, but—”

“You have yourself,” Leo said, kissing her softly. And then he looked up. “And all those Crawford relatives.”

Amanda grinned, sunlight sparkling through the
windows of her mother's old house, casting prisms in her tears of happiness. “Yes, I do, don't I?” She had everything she'd ever wanted…and so very much more.