Suddenly Last Summer (26 page)

“Jackson?”

She gave a soft smile. “He’d come in three times that week because he liked my cooking. He’d been telling me about his business, about the hotels and the skiing. He was the one who found me in the street outside, bleeding and in a state. He took me to the hospital, reported Pascal to the police and then took me back to his hotel. I slept in his bed and he slept in the chair.”

“Was Pascal arrested?”

“Yes. But he hired a lawyer and his PR people hushed it up. Told some story that the media believed. The next morning Jackson offered me a job, cooking for him. To begin with I said no, because I didn’t want to risk bringing trouble to him after all he had done, but he refused to leave Paris without me.”

“Good.” Not for the first time in his life, Sean had reason to admire his twin brother. “So you went to Switzerland.”

“Yes. Jackson gave me that opportunity. He saved me. I owe him everything. And I have not been back to Paris since, even though the apartment I shared with my mother is still there. And sometimes it makes me sad because once I loved the city so much, but after my mother and Pascal—” She shrugged. “For me the place is poisoned. I can never go back. It would be too painful. I can only think how much I let my mother down.”

Finally everything made sense. All of it. Her devotion to his brother. Her loyalty. Her unwavering love for his family.

And her reason for not wanting a relationship.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want love. She was desperate for a relationship and a family of her own, but she was too scared of getting it wrong to trust her judgment again.

She was too scared of losing everything.

She’d made his family her own because that way she could have all that without risking her heart.

And he understood why Jackson had wanted him to stay clear of her.

His brother was right. He was entirely the wrong sort of man for a woman like her.

“Pascal Laroche might be a brilliant chef but he’s obviously a pathetic excuse for a human being. I want to operate on him without an anesthetic.” With a supreme effort of will, he let her go. “Have you had any relationships since him?”

“You know I have.”

“I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about intimacy.”

There was just enough light left for him to see the color streak across her cheeks. “I don’t want that.”

“What about just having some fun? Dinner in a restaurant? A night at the opera?”

“People do that when they’re dating and want to get to know someone. I don’t want that. I can’t have that. Love blinded me. I saw what I wanted to see. I gave all of myself, everything. I won’t do it again.”

But she’d done it with his family. She’d taken that love that she was too afraid to give to a man, and she’d given it unreservedly to the O’Neils. She’d found somewhere she felt safe and she’d hidden herself there, wrapped in the warmth of his family.

He ached for her. “It’s the reason you walked away after the party.”

“I don’t usually spend two nights with a man. It shook me.”

It had shaken him, too.

The desire to haul her back into his arms was overwhelming but he knew that would be the wrong thing to do. Exercising willpower he didn’t know he possessed, he slid down inside his sleeping bag. She did the same and the wriggling treated him to a glimpse of shoulder, a hint of breast and a smile, complete with dimple.

“It is a good job it was you on this trip and not Tyler. If I’d said all that to him I would have killed him dead. He would rather wrestle a bear than listen to a woman unload her emotions.”

But they both knew she never would have said any of that to Tyler. She’d never said it to anyone before.

For some reason, knowing that warmed him. “Get some sleep. You need to rest. If a bear comes in the night I expect you to protect me so you need energy.”

“You’re still trying to persuade me you don’t know how to survive in the wilderness? It’s too late for that. I know the truth.”

“Maybe you don’t. Aren’t you scared the tent will collapse on you in the night?”

“You already know what scares me. I just told you.” She lay facing him, snuggled inside the sleeping bag. “What about you? What scares you, Dr. O’Neil?”

The thought of hurting her.

She was lying there, her gaze fixed on his face, waiting for his answer.

“What scares me? The thought of ruining my favorite suit. Get some rest.” He closed his eyes even though he knew he wouldn’t sleep. Not now. His head was full of what she’d told him and he lay there in silence, thinking about how her life must have been and wondering how she’d managed to come through it so strong and whole.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

É
LISE
WOKE
WRAPPED
in her sleeping bag with the feeling of exhaustion that followed an outpouring of emotion. She hadn’t cried, and that was good, but still she felt drained and empty.

And vulnerable.

What had possessed her to tell Sean so much? She’d never told anyone the whole story before, not even Jackson.

Merde,
she’d shared her innermost secrets. Her feelings. Her emotions.
Her life.

All of it.

She’d held nothing back, not one single thing and he hadn’t done anything to stop her talking.

There had been a moment when she’d thought he was going to kiss her. Right after she’d finished talking there had been a look in those lazy blue eyes that had made her wish her rule was three nights, not one. If he’d reached for her then, she wasn’t sure her willpower would have held out. Instead, he’d slid into his own sleeping bag and hadn’t touched her.

Knowing his sex drive as she did, that could only mean one thing.

She’d scared him off. He’d thought she was like him, more interested in work than relationships. Now he knew the truth he’d be keeping his distance. She should be relieved about that, because the alternative would have her breaking even more of her rules.

She sat up, pushed her hair away from her face and breathed.

Shaken by her own feelings and confused about his, she pulled on her clothes and emerged from the tent to find him cooking breakfast on the lightweight stove.

“I found breakfast in your magic bag. Homemade English muffins and bacon. Good choice.” He flipped the bacon, defusing any tension in the atmosphere with an easy smile. His hair shone blue-black in the early morning light and his jaw was dark with stubble. Despite appearances, he was as comfortable out here in the wilds as he was in an expensive restaurant.

Her stomach was knotted so tightly she doubted she could eat a thing. The confidences of the night before had unsettled her in a way sex never had. Ridiculous though it seemed, that conversation was the most intimate thing they’d shared.

She knelt by the stove and watched the sun rise over the mountaintops. “What time is it? Are we in a hurry?”

“We’re on Tyler’s schedule and he’s a slave driver. His instructions were that breakfast had to be cooked at sunrise. It also means we do the toughest part of the hike before it gets warm and muggy. He thinks his group of unfit businessmen will be whining by lunchtime so the aim is to get down to the frozen waterfall by then. That’s our next picnic spot.”

He was speaking as if nothing had happened. As if nothing had changed.

“Frozen waterfall?”

“That’s what we call it because you can climb it in the winter.” He tipped the toasted muffins onto a plate, added bacon and handed it to her. “Obviously it’s not frozen now.”

“It is where your father proposed to your mother. She told me about it once.”

“Yeah, that’s the place.” He stared at his own plate for a moment and then started eating. “This was a good choice. Even Brenna can cook bacon.”

They ate, cleared up, packed away all their food so that they didn’t attract wildlife and hiked at a steady pace, following the river back toward Snow Crystal. They stopped at the waterfall, now in full flow, ate lunch and then continued on to the point where their path intersected one of the resort’s mountain bike trails.

They’d barely started down the trail when they heard shouts.

“Qu’est-ce que c’est?”
Élise wrinkled her nose and listened.

“Kids.” Sean paused, head tilted to one side. “Someone having fun?”

“It didn’t sound like a child.”

Even as she said it, a man appeared farther down the path, waving his arms.

Élise squinted. “Isn’t that Sam’s dad?”

“Yes. Something is wrong.” Without bothering to take the backpack off his back, Sean sprinted down the trail toward the man and Élise followed as quickly as she could with the backpack weighing her down.

As she caught up with them she saw little Sam lying still on the ground, blood staining his trousers and soaking into the path, the wheel of his new red bike buckled and lying at a strange angle.

She felt a moment of pure panic. He looked so small and defenseless.

“Oh, mon dieu—”

“His bike hit a rock and he came off. He’s hurt his leg.” His father was pressing ineffectually on the leg but blood seeped around his fingers. “I can’t stop the bleeding. It’s spurting everywhere. I shouldn’t have left him but I needed to get help. Christ, make it stop.
Make it stop.
”

“It’s an artery.” Cool and calm, Sean swung his backpack off his shoulders and squatted down next to Sam.

The boy’s lips were blue. Mud streaked his cheeks and his hair was matted where he’d fallen. “I broke my new bike. I broke it.”

“We’re going to fix your bike so it’s good as new.” Sean took over from the father who was shaking so badly he couldn’t maintain pressure on the wound. “And we’re going to fix you, too.”

The boy’s eyes fluttered closed. “I feel weird. Swimmy.”

“That’s nothing to worry about. You’re going to be just fine.” Sean placed his hands above the wound and pressed, steady and reassuring. “Élise?”

“Yes.” She wanted to do something, but she felt helpless. Useless. Just as she had when Walter had had his heart attack. Every part of her was shaking, her hands, her knees— “What can I do? Tell me and I will do it.”
Just don’t let him die, don’t let him die.

“There’s a first-aid kit in the top of my pack. I need it. And then call Jackson.”

“There’s no signal.” The boy’s father was frantic, his face gray. “I’ve already tried.”

Fumbling, Élise found the first-aid kit and pulled it out.

“Is that my blood on the ground?” Sam’s voice was wobbly and faint. “It looks like a lot.”

Élise was silently in agreement with Sam. It was a whole lot of blood. More than she’d ever seen in her life.

“It’s nothing.” Sean’s voice was steady and reassuring. “A small amount of blood can make a whole lot of mess. Haven’t you ever got blood on your T-shirt? Man, that stuff spreads everywhere.” He gestured for Élise to open the pack. “There’s plenty more where that came from, don’t you worry.”

“Mom will be mad at me for getting it on my jacket.”

“She’s not going to be mad. She’s just going to be pleased you’re okay.”

Sam’s eyes were wide and desperate. “I feel sort of numb and everything is far away.”

“I’m right here, Sam, and you’re going to be fine. I’m right here with you and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Cool.” His voice was faint. “You save lives all the time, right?”

Sean’s expression didn’t change. “All the time. All in a day’s work. You don’t need to worry.”

“I didn’t see the rock.”

“Happens to the best of us, buddy. Get Tyler to take his shirt off for you one day. There’s a story to go with every scar. It’s going to give you something to boast about when you’re back at school. Impress the girls.” His fingers were slippery with Sam’s blood but he didn’t release his grip. “Élise, use those scissors to cut off his trousers.”

She picked up the scissors and worked through the soaked fabric, cutting through the mud and leaves that had stuck to the boy’s clothes, all the time aware of the father’s anguish as he tried again and again to get a signal.

“The phone is useless.” He held it above his head and waved it around desperately. “Nothing. Christ, don’t let him die, don’t let him die—”

Élise saw fear flare in the little boy’s eyes and knew he’d heard.

“No one is going to die.” Icy-calm, Sean gestured with his head. “Try farther down the path, toward the waterfall. It’s patchy, but I’ve been lucky there before. Go.”

Sam’s father hesitated, clearly torn between leaving his son and making that all-important phone call.

“I don’t want to leave him.”

“We’re fine here. Trust me.”

Élise swallowed. She trusted him. Right at that moment if he’d told her to jump off a cliff, she would have jumped without question. And Sam’s dad clearly felt the same way because he seemed to pull himself together.

Responding to the authority in Sean’s voice, he nodded. “I’ll—I’ll be back in just a minute, Sam. You just hang in there. Dr. O’Neil has you safe. He’s going to fix you up. You’re going to be fine, son. Just fine.” It was obvious he didn’t believe it and looking at the volume of blood and the blue tinge to the little boy’s lips, Élise wasn’t sure she believed it, either. But she believed Sean was doing everything that could be done, and if he had any doubts, he wasn’t showing them.

“Open the sterile pads. All of them. And then give me your scarf.” His instructions were clear and concise but she stared at him, panic clouding her thinking. All she could concentrate on was how there was so much blood for a very little boy. How could he possibly survive it?

“My scarf?”

“I’m going to need a bandage. Maybe a tourniquet.” His tone cut through her panic. “Do it.”

She followed instructions because her own brain wasn’t working and somehow, despite fumbling and shaking, she opened the pads and gave him her scarf.

“Right, let’s see what we’re dealing with here. So how was the trail before you hit the rock? Were you having fun on your new bike? I wish I had a bike like that.” He kept talking to the boy, keeping it light as he worked, cleaning away blood so that he could get a close-up view of the damage. For a brief second blood spurted upward like a fountain but then he took the sterile pads and pressed down hard, bound it in place with a firm pressure bandage and secured it with Élise’s scarf. His fingers were slippery with blood, his shirt stained with it. But the man who complained when he got mud on his shoes and dust on his trousers didn’t seem to notice the mess. All his attention was on the child who seemed to be fading under his hands. “Élise, get me a knife or a fork from our pack.”