Substitute (14 page)

She looked around, terrified people could hear, but the guests were all deep in their own conversations. The only eyes that strayed were those rubbernecking, looking for someone more famous to talk to. Their gaze never rested on Alexia and Tony.

‘Last night you’d have let those guys fuck you blind if that window hadn’t been there.’

Alexia’s stomach lurched. She wanted to slap him, but she knew it was true – well, perhaps almost true. She might not have let them, but she had certainly fantasised about it. How was Tony in her head?

‘I bet you’re wet right now, aren’t you?’ asked Tony, rubbing his fingers in little circles on her bottom, his hand out of sight of the crowd.

Alexia couldn’t deny it. She could feel the tell-tale dampness, the warmth in her crotch.

‘We’re still booked into the hotel tonight, and the boys will be having another little … barbecue. Why don’t you join me in our observatory and we can finish what we started?’

Alexia wanted to run, but the thought of watching another of the footballers’ orgies excited her. The thought must have showed on her face, and Tony seized on it.

‘You see, that’s more like it,’ he said.

But Alexia sensed there was something wrong. She could feel eyes on her, she could feel Nathan. She looked up and, sure enough, he was watching her with Tony, and he didn’t look pleased.

Oh, why does this keep happening? thought Alexia. Why can’t I keep Tony away from me, and why can’t I stop …?

She knew it was pointless, Nathan would never see her as she really was. But then, who was she? The good little girl who liked watching other people have sex? The good little girl who claimed to hate the office lothario but who succumbed whenever he put his hands on her?

She twisted herself free from Tony and walked out. She went straight into the ladies’ to get her balance back, to try and regain her composure. She had been there only a minute or so when Sonia walked in.

‘You OK? You shot out of there like your arse was on fire.’

‘I can’t do this.’

‘Do what?’

‘Work for Nathan and Tony.’

‘You don’t work for Tony …’

‘Yes, but he’s always around and Nathan thinks …’

‘Stop panicking, Nathan’s not a fool. He knows what Tony’s like. He knows he’s predatory. Just keep calm and be nice.’ Sonia smoothed Alexia’s hair. ‘Now put some more lip gloss on and get out there and circulate.’

Alexia bit her lip, reluctant to leave the sanctuary of the ladies’.

‘I’ve got to go back in and rescue my boss,’ said Sonia. ‘He’s getting pissed and he’s a bit frilly-lipped when he’s had a few.’

She patted Alexia’s arm, and left. Alexia looked at herself in the mirror. Could he really like me? she wondered. A man like that? She heard the door swing again, but it wasn’t Sonia returning, it was a tall, leggy blonde. The woman was almost Amazonian she was so tall, with endless legs, visible through a long slit in her skirt. Alexia didn’t recognise her. A WAG, a supermodel? She looked like a model, the tall, runway type. The newcomer looked at Alexia but didn’t smile.

‘You’re Nathan Fallon’s PA, aren’t you?’

‘Yes, I am,’ said Alexia, surprised to hear his name.

The woman pulled a red lipstick out of her bag and started reapplying, admiring herself as she leant forward, mouth open.

‘I’m only a temp, though,’ continued Alexia, not sure why she felt the need to explain.

Blondie twisted the lipstick back into its tube with her red-taloned fingers as she rubbed her lips together.

‘I’ll bet you are,’ she said coldly, running her gaze over Alexia’s petite frame. Then she walked out, like a flamingo, all legs and hair.

Alexia stood baffled by the exchange. She didn’t even know the woman but she had taken an instant dislike to her, and it seemed the feeling was mutual. How did she know Nathan?

She slipped on some clear lip gloss, bland and timid compared to the scarlet welt Blondie had painted on her face, but it would have to do. She opened the door and went back into the reception.

Several of the guests were now sitting in the booths around the edge of the room. The lights had been turned down. The champagne had flowed very freely and many people were looking even more tactile than they had earlier. There were no journalists present here, only invited guests, and they were taking the chance to let their hair down. This room was now for famous people only, no civilians, and that meant boozing and flirting.

Alexia looked for Tony so she could avoid him, but he was nowhere in sight. A woman walked up to her and introduced herself. She was an older WAG, and slightly drunk.

It was clear the woman was bored, and being ignored by most of the men on the hunt for younger quarry – of which there was plenty, and very willing. The WAG’s husband was around somewhere, but she’d lost him. Alexia listened to her ramble as she saw Blondie from the toilet glide through the room to a booth in the far corner, out of the way of prying eyes. But Alexia couldn’t see who else was in it. She edged sideways towards the wall so she could get a look at the woman’s companion. The WAG sidled with her, still talking. Blondie curled herself into the booth behind the table to sit with – Nathan!

Alexia was floored. She watched as the woman flirted and teased him. He was sitting impassively, watching, but didn’t stop her.

The WAG demanded some attention. She was asking questions now, something about the agency and whether it would represent a bunch of footballers’ wives who wanted to do a charity record.

Alexia mumbled that she’d ask someone. She looked back at Nathan. Did Blondie have her hand under the table? She was moving it, she was … rubbing? Nathan was sitting still and he seemed not to be joining in, but was he …? Alexia couldn’t see his expression properly; was he enjoying it?

Blondie leant over, her mouth inches from Nathan’s, and whispered something as her hand continued to work his crotch.

Alexia couldn’t breathe. She could hear the WAG still wittering away, but she was barely concentrating. She soothed her with occasional “mmm” noises to pretend she was listening, but she tried to keep her eyes fixed on Nathan.

She watched as he moved his hand and brushed Blondie’s hair from her face. Then she watched in horror as Blondie leant in and planted a soft kiss on his mouth.

No! Alexia wanted to scream, she wanted to run over to the booth, drag the woman out, and tell Nathan he was kissing the wrong girl. Why was he doing this? He didn’t play around, everyone knew that; he wasn’t a bed-hopper. What was he doing?

‘So you think Nathan will go for it?’ asked the WAG.

‘What?’ Alexia wheeled round and almost spat out the word.

The WAG was startled and started stammering. ‘The charity single? Do you think he’ll go for it? Nathan?’

Alexia realised her mistake. ‘Oh yes, sorry … I …’

‘Are you feeling OK? You look a bit flushed.’

‘No, I’m fine, really, it’s just noisy in here and I didn’t catch what you said … Really … I’ll – I’ll ask him.’

The WAG looked over to where Alexia’s attention had been fixed and saw Nathan.

‘Ah, there he is. I’ve been trying to find him. No time like the present!’

To Alexia’s horror, the WAG took off across the room towards Nathan. Alexia froze for a moment in complete panic, then dashed after her without thinking.

The WAG was now quite pissed and she was oblivious to Blondie and her secret tryst with Nathan.

‘Nathan, lovely to see you … Brilliant event, really brilliant. Just wondering … Am getting some of the wives to-gether … Chariddy single for men-in – men-in-git …’

She was slurring and struggling with any word of more than two syllables. She took another run at it.

‘Men-in-git-is! We need you. Everybody needs you, don’t they …?’ The WAG laughed and looked at Blondie, completely oblivious to the cosy tête à tête she was breaking up.

Blondie looked thunderous and glared at Alexia for not protecting Nathan from this unwanted approach. Nathan took a deep breath. Was Blondie getting him hard? Was he trying to steady his voice? ‘Sandrine, of course. Let’s chat … Make an appointment with my …’

He looked at Alexia. She was sure he’d seen her notice what Blondie was up to, but he seemed not to care. Was he enjoying it? Was he enjoying her misery? Alexia’s head was swimming.

‘With my PA, as I see you’ve already met.’

He held Alexia’s gaze. Blondie could sense the tension between them and she wasn’t amused. She curled her arm around his, and did her best to drape herself alluringly.

The WAG wittered on. ‘Oh brilliant, that would be great, such a good cause, be lovely to get together …’ On and on she went. Alexia thought she would never stop. The woman didn’t even notice that Nathan wasn’t looking at her, he was looking at Alexia. But then he turned to her; she might have been drunk, but he wasn’t going to be rude, he was too smart for that.

‘Alexia will set it up for you now.’

He was dismissing them both. He smiled graciously at the WAG.

‘Oh of course, of course, well, see you soon then … Er …’

Her words dribbled away as Alexia took her arm and led her off. Nathan had already turned his attention back to Blondie.

Alexia promised to ring the woman once she returned to the office and manage to find her husband and deposit her safely in his care. Then she dashed out of the room as soon as she could. She couldn’t breathe, she was gasping, falling, crashing, drowning … She had to get away, far away from Nathan and Blondie.

Hotel staff tried not to look startled as she raced through reception all the way to her room. The key in her hand wouldn’t fit in the lock. Her fingers were shaking. She grabbed the fob with both hands and shoved the sliver of metal into the lock. She pushed open the door, almost ran towards the bed, and flung herself on it.

She knew she didn’t have the right to be angry but she was. Hot tears ran down her cheeks as she tried to squeeze away the memory of his face as he’d looked at her coolly, as Blondie kept her hand on his knee.

She broke into sobs, wracking sobs that convulsed her whole body. She curled herself into a little ball, curled herself as tightly as she could. She lay there for almost an hour until the tears subsided and emotional exhaustion overtook her.

She was numb. She had cried out the anger and all that was left was the hurt, the swirling, black, and inky hurt. She closed her eyes and prayed for sleep but it wouldn’t come.

Her mobile rang. She lifted her head groggily, finding it hard to register where the noise was coming from.
Ring ring, ring ring.
She sat up, puzzled, and realised she was lying on her phone. She picked it up and saw Richard’s name blinking at her. Richard! In all of the craziness of the past two days, she had almost forgotten him.

‘Hello,’ she said.

The soft American drawl came through the ether like warm honey. ‘Hey, that’s a small voice. What’s up, kid?’

‘Oh it’s just been a long day … I’m just exhausted.’

‘Sounds like more than that to me.’

Alexia thought about pouring it all out, of telling Richard how wretched she was, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak the words.

‘I’m OK, really. Just been a really crazy day and I’m wiped.’

‘You poor thing … Sounds like you could use a bath and a neck rub. Wish I was there to help.’

His voice was comforting and Alexia lay back on the bed, the mobile to her ear, ‘I wish you were too.’

And she did. She wished he would walk in and take her in his arms and hold her. Hold her, safe and warm.

‘Well, sugar, I can’t be there in person, but I can be there in other ways …’

‘How do you mean?’

‘Go to the bathroom and run the bath.’

‘Richard, I …’

‘Don’t argue; you sound beat, and you sound like you need some Richard magic, so do as I say.’

Alexia didn’t argue. ‘OK.’

She walked into the sumptuous bathroom, her feet barely clearing the floor as she dragged each in front of the other. She walked like a small child, climbing the stairs for bed, almost asleep in motion. She turned the taps.

‘How’s the hotel?’ asked Richard.

‘Oh it’s gorgeous. I’ve never been in a place like this in my life.’

‘So I bet they have all kinds of lotions and potions for the bath?’

Alexia surveyed the row of beautiful little glass bottles. ‘They do …’ She ran her finger across the bottles. ‘Bergamot, lavender, white musk, and –’ She blinked. ‘They have one called sensual massage! It’s an oil.’

‘Whoop-de-do, doll, that’s what we’ll go for. Put some of the musk in the bath, then get those clothes off and I’ll give you a massage.’

‘
You’ll
give me a massage, how are you going to do that?’

‘Well, that’s easy. I’ll be using your hands …’

Alexia understood, but she felt so miserable she didn’t think that anything could make her feel sexual again. She started to protest, but Richard was having none of it.

‘Listen, hon, I can tell by your voice that things are going a little south over there, so listen to me. We are going to relax and take your mind off whatever ails ya. And I am not taking no for an answer.’

Alexia smiled.

‘I can hear you smiling …’

‘Oh stop it.’ Alexia laughed softly.

‘That’s better, much better. OK, now what are you wearing?

‘Blouse, skirt …’

‘Undo your buttons.’

Alexia started to obey, but Richard hadn’t finished.

‘Look in the mirror while you’re doin’ it.’

She stood up and put the phone on speaker, then laid it on the countertop and started to unbutton. Richard’s voice on the speaker sounded raw and husky.

‘What do you see?’

‘Breasts,’ said Alexia as she peeled off the blouse and let it drop to the floor.

‘Take off your skirt …’

She unzipped it slowly, having turned so the sound of the zip would echo down the phone line. She heard an appreciative moan.

She shook off her skirt and kicked it away. The water was bubbling into the bath. She picked up the bottle of musk and poured the thick, white liquid into the bath. It dropped from the bottle very slowly into the bath, in perfect round globules, foaming as the rushing tap water reached it.