Submissive Desires (11 page)

Before she knew it, his arms had slid around her from behind. “Do you like it?”

“Oh, my God, Simon, it’s gorgeous!!”

He kissed the side of her neck. “I’m glad you like it. But – “

She froze, and he hated how she tensed immediately. “But what?” Maura turned in his arms, knowing she wouldn’t have been able to unless he’d let her.

“I just want to talk about what’s going on, so we both know exactly what this weekend is about.”

He guided them over to the edge of the bed and sat them both down in unison.

“It’s about sex,” she said, taking a stab in the dark.

“It’s about more than sex, and you know it. I’m going to spank you, and more.”

She gulped hard, and whimpered, “More?”

He smiled in a soft manner she had not seen before. “Much more. I just don’t want you to be frightened or surprised by the pain I’m going to give you. I think I know you pretty well, considering we haven’t been to bed yet, and I think I’m pretty good at reading you, but I want you to have a safe word.”

They had discussed this before, and Maura had been surprised at his insistence on the use of a safe word. He seemed too dominant for that – to give his submissive any sort of control over ending a punishment or any sort of scene he might require or her. But Simon was nothing if not pragmatic and practical. How else was he to know if she was having a cramp, or a flashback to a bad experience, or couldn’t breathe, or any one of a million things. She’d already been told that the safe word should never be used just to mitigate a punishment, because if he thought she’d done that she’d get at least twice what the original punishment would have been for trying to avoid it.

“What do you want to use?”

“How about safe word? And if you’re gagged – “ she squirmed visibly at this reminder of just how totally she would be his over the next three days – “then snapping your fingers should do it. If we’re in a bed with a headboard that has spindles, then rattle them to get my attention. I will always be alert to any sign from you that you’re uncomfortable for any reason other than what I might be doing to you at any given time. Okay?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good.”

Simon rose and walked over to the delicate green wrought iron and glass table and pulled out one of the coordinated chairs, to turn it towards her and sit down, his eyes settling on her heavily.

“Strip.”

Maura’s eyes nearly bugged out. “Strip?” she parroted back to him, not moving.

He didn’t say a thing, merely raised his eyebrows. “Are you balking at an order already? I wouldn’t have thought you’d be bucking for your first spanking this quickly, but – “ He made as if to get up again, and this spurred her into action.

She did not want him spanking her under any circumstances, but especially not before they’d even made love the first time. But they had talked about her reluctance to show her body to him – about the fact that she was not beautiful, nor what society considered desirably, being somewhat on the heavy side.

He had reassured her on many occasions that he preferred a more rounded look – that he preferred her look, in particular, not that any of his ample soothing had had any effect at all. She – like most American women – thought she was much too big to be attractive, when he felt that nothing could have been further from the truth.

“No no no!” she cried, bouncing up and shrugging out of her shirt, then peeling down her jeans in short order. The two outer garments came off easily, to be folded and placed on top of her suitcase behind 48

her. White sox joined the other clothes on the pile. But her baby blue and white plaid panties and matching bra were much harder to part with.

Simon never took his eyes off her, even though she was hardly disrobing in a deliberately teasing manner. Now that she had gotten down to the nitty-gritty, she was hardly disrobing any more at all, reaching excruciatingly slowly behind her to unhook her bra, but then holding it and her arms over her chest so that she was still covered.

“Do you need help?” he asked quietly, nudging her just a little, not sure whether he hoped it would be enough for her to obey him or not . . .

Her face was positively flaming – as her bottom would be more than once this weekend, he promised himself – but she let the bra fall and turned to put it with her other clothes, taking her own sweet time turning around again.

“Maura,” he prompted when he felt she had spent entirely too much time facing the suitcase.

She turned, revealing those beautiful breasts to him in their entirety for the first time. They were not perfect, by any means, but they were hers, and the sight of her – blushed a dusky rose-pink all the way down to their beginning slopes – aroused him like nothing else in the world . . . until her arms came up to cover them.

“Put your arms down at your sides,” he chided gently, extending his long legs out in front of him and crossing them at the ankles, as if he hadn’t a care in the world. And he hadn’t, except the raging hard on that was seriously threatening his control.

It took her a while – longer than he should have allowed, frankly, and much longer than he would allow in the future – to obey him, and he could see her struggling within herself to do so. It was quite delicious, and one of the things he enjoyed about taming an independent woman. They liked to think for themselves and decide things for themselves, and he so enjoyed doing that for them in all sorts of ways that would make them uncomfortable and humiliated and dripping, soaking wet. Ways that would remind them of their complete submission to him – of how little control they had over their lives and their bodies, which was just exactly what they wanted.

But, eventually, her arms were where he required, and Maura stood there, breathing heavily – not from excitement, he knew, but from nervousness. Her breasts had swelled as he watched them, though, and her nipples were taut. Her posture was really very good, he thought, especially considering the way most women slouched through life nowadays.

“Panties.”

He wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but she blushed even brighter, but it took her less time to decide to do as he’d said, although her reluctance was still quite obvious. Her thumbs hooked the waistband of those cute little panties, pulling them down, down, down, until she was bent over, and stepping out of them.

Next time, Simon promised himself, he’d make sure she wasn’t facing him when she did that. But he was going a little easy on her because she was so endearingly apprehensive. In another woman, he might have found her nervousness bothersome, but in Maura it was touching and, he knew, completely sincere. She was not trying to be coy; she really was a modest person, and he respected that.

“Turn around.”

She desperately wished he would say something, do something to show that he wasn’t as removed as his cold, firm words conveyed. But, regardless of his lack of emotion, she hated to admit it but her body loved what he was requiring her to do. But the rest of her – her mind and heart were rebelling –

her heart less so than her mind, but it was her mind that was making her blush so furiously and struggle with herself to do as he said.

Her butt was big, and she did not want to show it to him clothed, much less naked. She drew a breath, and it was on her mind to protest, but she decided against it when she looked at his face. It would not be a good idea. Instead she fidgeted in place for a short while, then sighed heavily and turned so that her horribly prominent backside was all he could see, she was sure.

49

Simon was deep, deep in lust. As far as he was concerned, lumps, bumps and all, she was physical perfection, and he was wearing the evidence that proved it. Her bottom was truly a thing of beauty, and he was near to coming in his pants at the sight of those very full, gently rounded slopes. His was literally drooling at the thought of raining down swat after swat, leaving his hand print on her for hours, maybe as long as a day depending on how delicate her skin was, marking her as his in the most personal way possible. He would give her cane strokes that would be designed to last for days, the welts swelling and growing and bruising long after the disciplinary session was over.

She was so fair, he was quite sure she’d mark easily and hold the marks for a long, long time. Just that thought made his cock twitch in his briefs.

But she was shivering – whether with cold, which he doubted – or with nerves, which was much more likely, he rose immediately and shrugged out of his shirt, tucking it around her and turning her in his arms, pulling her into his embrace. “Shh-shh-shh. That’s enough. You’re fine.” He wasn’t the type to coddle, and there wasn’t any reason for her to work herself into having a panic attack just because she was naked in front of him.

His firm, sure tone reassured her, and she was able to stop shaking quickly. It was just the right approach to take with her – if he’d been sympathetic and cooing, she would have dissolved into tears.

Instead, she was able to pull herself together and be strong.

Simon’s finger lifted her chin. “Very good girl. You’ve done very well so far.”

It was the “so far” that made her knees shake for a minute before she got control of them again.

“What’s your safe word, Maura?” he quizzed as he opened the bed, pulling the sheet, blanket, and comforter almost off the end of the bed.

“Safe word,” she returned quickly.

“Good.” He came back to her and grabbed her hand, tugging her over to guide her down to sit on the edge of the bed. Simon took both of her hands in his, asking in a very deep, serious tone. “I want you to be very sure you want to do this, Maura. I don’t get this involved with someone easily, and to me, this is the beginning of a real commitment between us – not love, but commitment. Your submission to me will probably, eventually lead us to live together.”

Her head snapped up, eyes wide.

It didn’t make him happy that she apparently hadn’t considered that possibility. “I just want you to know that I’m thinking ahead. Thinking that we’ll be together more in the future.” That seemed to soothe her, and he wasn’t sure exactly how he felt about that. “You have to be willing to be monogamous from this point on.”

Maura almost snorted, but resisted. It wasn’t like men were busting down her door to sleep with her. She’d been monogamous with him from the beginning, if one wanted to look at it that way.

“And make no mistake, I expect the same thing from myself. I will never run around on you. I’m a one-woman man.”

She nodded. “Yes, I have no interest in multiple partners. I can barely handle you!”

“Good.” Her answer seemed to satisfy him. “Lie in the middle of the bed on your back. Put your hands above your head. You can grab onto the headboard if you like or not, but do whatever you need to to make sure that your hands don’t come down again until I tell you that they can. If you move your hands down – even once – I’ll tie them to the headboard and punish you thoroughly for disobeying me.”

She was slow at obeying, but he could – and would – fix that. It was all new to her, and he was enjoying seeing everything through her eyes. Simon hadn’t realized that he’d gotten somewhat jaded, but seeing Maura’s reactions – and trying to see this situation through her eyes – made things sharper for him.

He wanted this to be the best experience of her life – he wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her, and when he had a goal in mind, he was positively dangerous.

But never to her.

Finally, she settled into the position he’d ordered, and he could see that she was gripping the rails of the headboard for dear life.

50

Nervous again.

Well, he had to see if he could knock that out of her for good. Respect was good. He wanted it from everyone he met. He demanded it. But fear – there were elements of it that could be good, that would keep her in line when she might stray from his strict rules for her behavior, but he’d never wanted a woman to truly fear him. Most of them did, because there was something about him that made him a person that was not easy to be around – some people, usually women, sensed that he had seen death – had caused deaths easily and without remorse, and had confronted and come to unflinching terms with his own. Simon discomfited people, and he knew it. That had worked in his favor on occasion.

But, although he would be imparting quite considerable pain to her at times this weekend, and certainly over the length of their relationship – whatever that ended up being – he never wanted Maura to be afraid of him. There would never be any reason for it – he would never really hurt her. He couldn’t. She had become much too important to him, even in such a short time.

“Close your eyes.”

Of all his commands, that one bothered her the most. Somehow, not being able to see him would make her almost more vulnerable to him than she could stand.

Although he was arranging things on the table to the side of the bed, he was still keeping a close eye on her, and he was quite well aware of the fight she was having with herself, and left her to it. She would either trust him enough, or she wouldn’t.

He didn’t know what he would do if she couldn’t.

But when he snuck a last peek at her, he saw that her eyes were screwed tightly shut. There were tears leaking out of them, to be sure – the hair at her temples was dark and wet. But her eyes were shut.

He knew how much it had taken for her to close them, and something burst inside him, something he refused to examine or acknowledge.

She trusted him.

For a woman like Maura – independent, fierce, happy, proud – to offer him her submission was a more profound gift than he deserved.

He mumbled a silent prayer that he would be able live up to that level of trust.

Simon stood at the end of the bed, gazing down at her with his heart in his eyes. Her breathing was irregular as she fought back tears. “Take a deep, slow breath, Maura. Nothing’s going to happen other than some things we’ve already talked about you wanting. And I hope you know that I would never really hurt you.”

She opened her eyes automatically when he began to speak to her, but Simon chided, “Ah-ah-ahhh,” and she closed them quickly again.