Subfrenzy (the Subfrenzied Series) (7 page)

“
Okay. We'll chill at my place until, um, around five, I guess. Five, five-thirty.”

“
That's a good plan.” I saw
Rack's
and focused on his radio instead. “Do you mind?”

“
Not at all. We'll be there in a few minutes”

“You have a really nice apartment,” I said, waiting as he hung our coats up on pegs near the front door. “It's very spacious. There's a lot of, you know... room here to work.”

“
Yeah, that's one of the first things I noticed, too. It was a done deal, once I saw the space.” That had been kind of him. He turned the heat up before we got to his living room. “What do you want to drink? I've got, well, everything I did yesterday.”

“
Water's good, thanks.”

“
There's just enough time for a movie, or a few episodes of something?”

“
Whatever you want.”

I leaned against the island and stared out into his living room. The air was charged with tension again, but it wasn't overwhelming. If he felt it, I couldn't tell. Lust burned when I saw him shrug out of his suit jacket.

He
laughed quietly, putting drinks onto the coffee table. “Are you okay, over there?”

“
Yes, of course. What do you want to watch?” I felt attached to the floor when he looked over at me. What he wanted was really clear. It wasn't to cuddle on the couch for a movie. 

“
Do you really want to know?”

“
Do I?”

“
Come here,” he said, “if you want to find out.”

My
eyebrow rose at the command and I stood taller. “
You
should come
here
if-”

I
grabbed the island's smooth edge when he stalked out of the living room. For a moment, I had forgotten how unpredictable sexual dominance was, and how much there was that I should keep hidden.

His
eyes were dark when he got to the doorway, but he didn't come into the kitchen. “What did you say?”

“
Nothing I meant.” I was suddenly in front of him, staring at my wrists that were crossed on his chest, trying to think past the submission that clawed at me. “I want you. I don't know why I--”

“
You like a little aggression?”

All
I could do was nod, yes, breathless from the way he pushed me back against the wall. His arms wrapped around mine to protect me as I braced for impact. I moaned and kissed him harder.

“
That's what I thought,” he said, making me stand taller, one of his legs moving between mine.

“
That's good?”

“
You tell me.”

Words
were lost again when he smoothed his hand down over the outside of my thigh, then up along my inner leg. He stroked his thumb over the v of my dark purple thong. While he seemed surprised that the fabric moved aside so easily, there was no hesitation after I pushed my hips toward him. Quinn groaned quietly, realizing how wet I was for him. Two of his fingers thrust inside me as he rubbed my clit with his thumb. A bright flash of pleasure caught me off-guard. I moaned helplessly when he curled his fingers in hard against my g-spot again.

Dull
pain spread through my wrists. I had slammed my arms back against the wall, looking for balance, something solid. My hands were flat as I admitted surrender behind my hips. He pushed my shoulders back, holding me still. It felt better when I didn't lean forward, I understood. Restlessness swept over me. I went from passively letting the pleasure find me to moving in ways that would make me come. 

“
Please don't stop...” I gasped, the white-hot pressure quickly building in my lower body.   

“
You clench down so
hard.
” He thrust his fingers against my g-spot harder, my clit tight and hard under his thumb. “I promise I'm not going to stop.”

Satisfaction
pulsed through the core of my body when I came. My legs were shaking by the time he brought my thong back to where it had been.

“
Come with me into the bedroom?”

I
eased out of my dress and left it on the back of his couch. Quinn easily slipped out of his shirt. When we got into the bedroom, he laid back against the pillows and pulled me down on top of him. I knelt high on my knees as he removed his black, suit pants.

He paused,
ripping a condom open. “It's not too soon for you?”

“
Not at all. I want you inside me again.” I looked down at his chest, then up at him through my eyelashes. His cock felt so hard, pressing into the hollow of my right hip.

“
I've been thinking about this all day...
fuck
, you feel good.”

My
body tingled from the first orgasm, even more when his cock pushed deep inside me. He held his breath, the muscles in his chest and arms taut as he moved my hips. 

"Arch
your back higher," he said, his voice making things in my body tighten.

Quinn
put his arm to my waist, thrusting hard while he held me still. His other hand wound in my hair. I felt his fingers slowly massaging the back of my head. The energy I felt from him was suddenly much darker... I saw the glint of sexual dominance in his eyes and knew what he was going to do.

“
That's really-” It was too late. He roughly pulled my head to the side and submission took me under.

“
What did you say?”

“
Thank you for-” I stopped myself, abruptly surfacing from the dream-like haze. I had heard,
What do you say,
in a very dominant tone.

He looked shocked. “
What-”

“
Nothing! I didn't say-”

“
Tell me what you said, or I'll do it again.”

I laughed nervously, relieved when he moved his hand to the back of my neck. “
You're very good at that.”

“
At what?”

“
Having you pull my head back like that feels too good.”

“
Too good, huh?” he asked, having me look up at him. “Do you want more?”

What tested my control were his fingers grasping my hair, taking control of the way I was able to move. Quinn had never gone to pull my head directly backwards. That he knew not to didn't help bring rationality or control back. When he made me look at him, d
angerous energy had me grind my hips against his. 

“
Yes!” I broke, fervently hoping he could. “Yes, I like it a lot.”

He
moved quickly, pinning me down against the bed. The head of his cock pushed past my g-spot. Quinn pulled back when I cried out, but it wasn't a sound of pain. I melted around him, straining backwards to stay still as he thrust forward. He slammed his hips into mine. I froze, expecting it to hurt in a bad way. It didn't. Pleasure crashed through me, feeling white-hot and heavy.

“
So close,” I panted, trying to get closer.

He let go of my wrists to roll my nipples between his fingers. I reached the edge and was hurtled over. The blissful oblivion of orgasm...

“You have me close already.” The near-growl I heard kept me floating on pleasure. He came, holding me with his arms around my waist. When I focused, I could feel his cock throbbing deep inside of me. Aftershocks ran through my body.

“
I'm definitely hungry now,” he said after a while, stroking my back.

“
Food
would
be really good.”

“
I can make new reservations somewhere else. What do you feel like?”

“
Oh god! I forgot you made reservations-!”

“
So did I, until just now. It's a lot later than I thought it would be.”

“
I know a few places around here that will deliver,” I said, seeing how comfortable he looked without clothes on.

“
Yeah?”

“
Why not?”

“
Delivery it is,” he decided.

I
wrapped the sheet around me. Lust sparked again while I watched him stretch and sit on the edge of his bed.

“
I'm out a lot during the week for work. Staying in is... refreshing, actually.”

“
This was an abnormally busy work week for me. Hanging like we did last night would be really nice.”

“
Will it bother you if I change into normal clothes?”

“
Nope, not at all.” I watched him look through the clothes in his closet.

“
Feel free to use the shower, and whatever's in the bathroom. All the towels are clean.”

“
Uh... okay. Mind if I ask for a shirt? I'll shower later, before I get my-”

“
No problem.”

“
And if you don't mind me using the laptop in your living room, I'll pull up a menu for the Italian place.”              

“
Sure, it should be on. Be comfortable.”

-
Chapter 6
-

~
Push It ~

C
onversation was polite as we waited for food to arrive. We both reached a point where hunger became distracting, lulling us into zoned-out stretches of quiet. I brought my legs up and sat sideways, leaning against the side of his chest. It was less awkward when he put the television on, and comfortable after the doorbell rang. After a piece of pizza and part of an Italian sub later, I was finally full. Sex with him was wonderfully strenuous.

“
What happened to your arm?” he asked when I reached for a bottle of soda.

The
barriers immediately rose. “It was a stupid mistake, not anything serious.”

“
You're okay, right? ...No one's bothering you?”

“
It really
was
an accident. I'm not excusing abuse or anything.”

“
Sorry,” he snapped back to himself. “Just, that looks like it hurt.” I felt uncomfortable as he looked at my neck, down at my wrists. “Were you going to
Rack's
, the night we watched
Weeds
?
”

I
was on the verge of saying, yes, when he glanced down at the discolored lines that wound around the outside of my ankles.
Did he look worried or disapproving?

“
Have you been there before?” I asked.

“
No.”

“
Any chance you've wanted to go?”

“
Not particularly.”

I
was surprised by the flood of disappointment his answer brought. It hurt more than I thought it would. The barriers that had risen kept it from being seen, but such incredible disappointment... At the same time, I didn't feel any more hesitation when I thought about working there with Rhys.

“
I know it's an s/m club. Is that where you got the mark on your arm?”

“
Just from standing too close to someone with a whip. Lesson learned...” He didn't smile when I did.

“
You, uh- That's how--?”

“
Yes.” My chin rose, though I fought the numbness that had returned to block pleasure. “Having it wrap around my arm surprised me. I've never had one do that before.”

“
Oh. Wait, what? You haven't, what?”

Wicked darkness swept over me, the vulnerability I felt fading as I embraced my submissive side. “I've had my Top use a single-tail whip for me before. He never had it coil around me, my arm, like it did yesterday.”

“Oh my god-” He ran a hand through his hair and went silent.

I
stared at my knees, not wanting to see the shock in his eyes. “The club really is safe. It's not just hit-whomever-you-want
,
for fun. There are-”

“
I know that much. Hang on a second?” Quinn breathed in slowly and leaned back, though he stayed tense. “I've found all of my submissives online, so no, I've never had a reason to go. I know that the club's safe, but-”

“
What? Who online?”

“
Female submissives. I've thought about going to
Rack's
a couple times, but I like seeing a profile and pictures before I meet up with a potential submissive.
”

“
Because you're... You're a Dominant?”

“
Yes, I've been a Dominant before.”

“
Please don't be kidding. Is this a joke?” I silently pleaded with him for the truth. The level of pain I was prepared to feel wasn't something I wanted to take on.

“
I'm not joking. What you're talking about is really serious.”

“
What do you mean--” I couldn't breathe in or out, and I braced for the hurt that hadn't registered yet. “You found
who
online
?”

“
My submissives,” he repeated calmly. 

There it was, small tendrils of pain that spread through my chest... “
You have more than one?”

Quinn
shook his head, no. “No, I've never had more than one submissive at a time, and I'm not with anyone now. It's been a while.”

I wanted to hug him. “
How many have you had?”

“
Four.”

“
Four. That's a lot of experience you have.”

“
Those marks on your legs. What are they from, ankle cuffs?”

“
Rope, from my first ever pain session.
My Top forgot to check in with the restraints. It wasn't something he forgot again.”

I
remembered Rhys pulling me higher onto my knees, ropes knotted around my ankles and held under two legs of his couch. He had brought me from standing to kneeling with pain. I still didn't know how long it had continued. Until I felt calm instead of being drowned by my masochistic side's desire for pain. Rhys
had been ready to tie me in a new position when I felt all of his dominance pull away. His safety knife cut through the ropes and I was made to understand what had happened.
I'd struggled enough for the ropes to leave permanent burn marks on the side of my ankles. The itching pain of them digging into my skin had been numbed by the pain he had inflicted.

“
Does he still take Top for you?”

“
No, I've branched away from wanting to submit that way. It was my submission pit against his dominance. That's not what I'm looking for.”

“
Your submission against his dominance? He
forced
you to submit?”

“
No! No, sorry. Again.” Though I liked how cold Quinn looked, asking. “He liked pushing me so I'd give in and use my safeword. After I felt sure about my endurance for pain, I wanted someone who would do more than just inflict it.”

He
looked down at my ankle again and his eyebrow rose slowly. “That was your Intro to s/m? You didn't think to start with scarves, or, I don't know,... something lighter?”

“
I didn't feel that it would be as exciting. Had that opportunity come first, I... I'm not sure I would submit. I'd need to know he was capable of giving me pain first.”

“
You know what kind of submissive you are. I like that a lot.”

“
... but I don't. That's what I'm trying to find out. All I know is what kind of dominance I can submit for.”

“
Your Top released you as his submissive?” He smiled in a way I didn't understand. “Why would he do that?”

“
I asked him to. He agreed that I should find someone more compatible.”

“
You handled that very rationally.”

“
I don't want to regret the things I do as a submissive.”

“
You're more sure than some-” He paused and sighed slowly. “My last submissive wasn't a real submissive. It was something I should have noticed right away, but I didn't until she started testing my dominance. I
t was a bad judgment call on my part.”

“
What does that mean, she tested you?”

“
I don't like playing the games she did. It was a power play from beginning to end. That's not what I'm looking for in a submissive. We weren't together for very long.”

“
I'm sorry.” 

“
Things got really chaotic when the stock market crashed. People scrambled, panicking, and the business I run took a big hit. I made some bad decisions that year all 'round.”

“
Do you mind me asking-? Were your other submissives okay?”

“
As you said, we weren't right for one another, but we didn't part on bad terms. What about after your Top?”

“
There's no after.”

“
What?”

“
I haven't had a Dominant yet, just the Top I had for pain sessions.”

“
Really.”

“
Yes...” I replied, suddenly feeling wary.

“
No reason, I was just curious. I like that you enjoy sex so
rough
.”

“
Why the emphasis? Was it--?” I wasn't sure what he meant.

“
Really, really good? Yes.”

“
I'm glad you think so.”

“
Don't you?” he asked, confused. “You look so nervous.”

Because I had never done what he did so
easily
. “I've had sex before, just not like that. If I did something to-”

“
You've never had sex before like, what? Aside from you laying on your side.”

“
With aggression, roughness.”

He looked stunned. “
What about your Top?”

“
We didn't get that far.”

“
You should have told me that before I pulled you into bed.”

“
You didn't pull me into bed.”

“
You're right. I carried you there.” But he stopped glaring at me when I sighed.

“
If I had told you, would you have held back more?”

“
Yeah. Just a little, maybe.” He went still, staring into nothingness for a moment.
“Do you like having your wrists tied?”

“
To what?”

“
To my bed. Where were you thinking?”

“
I've never been restrained to a bed.” 

“
What have you been restrained on? Against?”

“
A table. To a couch, once. Only to receive pain, though.”

“
What else do you like?”

“
I liked when you held me down. I'm not talking about being forced to, you know-- I'm  not into abduction scenes or anything... darker.”

He
recoiled slightly, his eyes dark and hard. “That's not how I want submission. I don't do scenes like that either.”

The
walls and shields that had always protected me didn't work around Quinn. I wanted him again, without all of the restrictions... “
Why are you asking me these things?” I asked, trying to sound nonchalant. “To know limits for sex?”

“
That's part of it, yes.”

“
While talking helps now, it won't later. …it's been too long. Do you know what sub frenzy means?”

It
was churning inside of me, bright eyes appearing in my mind, searching for dominance. He was a Dominant, but that didn't make him
my
Dominant. Though I desperately wanted him to give me pain. The clawing, tearing sensations low in my chest left me breathless.
It was worse than it had ever been, the conversation having me feel like I'd done an intense, edge-play session. I felt soothed fear, an overwhelming sense of pleasure, submission because he felt so safe... the yearning was terrible. When I looked up at him, I knew he had seen what it looked like. My eyes lowered and I breathed slowly, waiting for his answer.

“
Yes,” Quinn breathed out slowly. “I'm familiar with that term. You take s/m very seriously.”

“
Admitting I'm a submissive makes me really nervous.”

“
Because you want pain.”

“
Yes.” I laughed. “What you just said took me years to understand. I thought something was wrong with me. It was simple, once I accepted it.”

“
You thought something was
wrong
with you? Why?
”

“
I felt really depraved for wanting someone who should care about me to, well... to hurt me. Then I stopped caring about the why's and tried it. I haven't felt guilty about it since. It feels too good.”

“
I struggled with that for a few years, too. It didn't make me feel guilty, exactly, but I did feel... not right about it.”

“
How did you realize you're a Dominant?”

“
I found some videos, some instructional sites. It was pretty much,
'Oh, I've done that. I've done that, too. I want to do that--'
so I learned how.
”

I hesitated, but felt curiosity continuing to prick at me. “With a submissive?”

“... with a very experienced submissive. We connected online, met up, and she agreed to have me as her Dominant for a year. About a year. When she needed to move on with a more experienced Dom, I let her go.”

“
And you say
I'm
rational.”