Stuck On My Stepbrother (16 page)

He opened the door to another room, and I suddenly became aware of the sound of running water. He was running a bath. The steam filled the air and he shut the door behind us, to keep the steam in. The bathtub was one of those beautiful free-standing ones, with ornate, cast iron feet. The type I’d seen in glossy ‘Ideal Home’ magazines and always dreamt of having, but had never had the opportunity to try one out. The walls were tiled, all except one, which was, in keeping with the rest of the apartment, made completely of glass. I assumed this one must be one-way glass

The elegant, gray slate floor felt warm under my feet, even with my shoes on.

‘Take off your shoes,’ said Adam, noticing me looking down at the floor.
 

I remembered his voice earlier on today, when he’d told me to take off my shoes before entering the warehouse. I felt a small surge of shame rise up in me, the embarrassment coloring my cheeks. But I did as he said, and removed my shoes, and was delighted to feel the smooth, warm floor on the soles of my feet.

Adam reached up to me, and wiping the tears off my cheeks, gently with his thumbs. ‘I owe you an apology,’ he said.

Another one?
I thought.
This is getting to be quite a habit with you, sir.

’This is all new to me, Rose,’ he said, his hands resting on my shoulders now. ‘What happened today… I’ve never done that before. I’ve never taken anyone to that warehouse. It’s something I’ve always dreamt of, but…’ He trailed off, visibly moved by the mention of what happened today. ‘I had no idea how powerful it was going to be.’ He ran his hands down my arms, and then placed them on my hips. ‘I should have spoken to you after we’d finished, on the ride home, but I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t speak. You’re amazing, Rose. What you did for me today…’

‘I didn’t just do it for you,’ I said quickly. ‘I wanted to do it for me, too.’ I was aware, the second I said this, of how silly it sounded.
I wanted to get tied up and whipped for my own good! It was a real breath of fresh air for me!

‘I understand that,’ he said sincerely, nodding. ‘I could tell it was what you wanted, otherwise I wouldn’t have done it. But you put your trust in me, and you let me go to a place I’ve only ever been in my wildest imagination.’ His eyes were burning with a passionate fire, and I could see the heat rising to his cheeks now too. His skin was glowing in the steam.

‘It’s my job now, though,’ he said, reaching for the hem of my t-shirt, ‘to give you what you need to complete the act that has passed between us.’

Was he talking about sex?

‘I’m going to undress you now,’ he said, and pulled at the t-shirt. I lifted my arms in the air, and he peeled it off me, so that I was topless in front of Adam once more. He looked at my breasts, plump and slightly swollen from being tied up in rope. ‘You’re beautiful, Rose. My sweet little sister.’
 

He took my breasts in his hand, running his fingers over the nipples, and I couldn’t help but let out a sigh.
 

‘I’ve never seen such perfect breasts,’ he said. ‘I couldn’t believe it when I saw you get out of the taxi. The way you turned up at the warehouse without a bra on, the shape of you so clearly visible through the material. I felt like a wild animal.’

I smiled, as his hands travelled down to my skirt. He took the waistband of the skirt gently between his fingers, then got down on his knees. He rolled down my skirt, and, at the same time, my panties, and stared longingly at my most sensitive parts. ‘The most wonderful creature I have ever seen.’ He leant forwards, his face just centimetres from me now, and then he brought his lips to my pubis, and kissed me. It was a long, moist, generous kiss. I felt myself twitching as his lips were on me, then my buttocks clenched as his hands travelled around to the back of me, pulling me closer to his mouth, like he wanted to eat me all up.

His fingers pressed into me a little hard, and I winced with pain where they touched the wound. He noticed my involuntary reaction, and he stopped kissing me. ‘Let me see,’ he said, looking up at me.

I turned around, facing the window, looking out at the lights, which were being switched on across the city, now that it was darkening outside. The lights twinkled like stars. I tried to imagine that I was looking out at constellations, rather than the lights of burger vans, diners, hotels, strip clubs, restaurants and office blocks. As I did so, I felt his fingertips, tracing the welts on my backside, like he was examining constellations of his own.

‘They must hurt,’ he said, seeing how I jumped each time his finger tips moved. ‘They’ll heal.’

‘I know they will,’ I said, exhaling. I felt more relaxed since I’d cried, and since Adam had spoken with me. Perhaps this had all been part of the process. The beautiful China vase was already cracked. It had to be smashed, to enable it to be put together more strongly.

I heard Adam switching off the bath taps behind me, and I turned around.

‘Are you getting in the bath too?’ I asked nervously, wondering if I was about to see Adam naked for the first time, if maybe, even, I was about to lose my virginity to him, right here, in this bathroom, right now.

He smiled. ‘This is just for you,’ he said. ‘I’ve put some melrose and tea tree oils in the water for you. Naturally antiseptic, and good for regenerating tissue.’ He dipped his hand into the water and looked up at me. ‘It’s a good temperature. Get in.’

I did as he said, feeling his eyes on me as I stepped in. The water was just right. I leant back, all the way in, washing my hair, my face, my neck my shoulders…

Adam sat on the tiles beside me, and, with a soft sponge, much softer and cleaner than the one he’d had me washing my feet with at the warehouse, he began cleaning me. Each touch of the sponge was like a slow, soft caress, and I found myself moaning with pleasure as he did it. I even forget about the pain I was in. It was as if somehow, by being here beside me, he was healing me, with nothing more than his presence.

‘You’re very special, Rose,’ he said, as he ran the sponge over my stomach. ‘Very special indeed.’

He pushed the sponge between my legs, running it over my sensitive lips, applying just the slightest pressure, so that I could feel the strength of his hands. If it wasn’t for the soft sponge between us, I’d be able to feel his fingers, searching inside me. He pushed a little harder, and I arched my back and moaned.
 

‘Adam…’ I gasped.

‘When we’re like this, Rose,’ he said, meaningfully, ‘you can call me brother.’

I knew things had changed, because on Monday morning I arrived at work
an hour early
. A whole hour! But I didn’t go straight to work, to impress Tegan with my keen new attitude. Instead, I went for a walk, among the early morning streets. I watched street vendors setting up for the day, men and women in blue overalls sweeping the streets, and tired-eyed commuters, stopping off at Starbucks for their early morning caffeine fix.

I, on the other hand, felt sprightly. I’d spent the whole of yesterday revising for my shorthand exam, which was tomorrow afternoon, and even though I’d only got five hours sleep, I felt like a new woman. Like I’d been reborn.
 

I’d spent the whole of yesterday eating, too. Adam had given me a list of ‘healing foods’ he’d told me to snack on throughout the day. Mom was a little disappointed I didn’t want to touch her lasagne, but she seemed happy that I was at least eating properly again, and had a load of food at my disposal as I worked. Even my father, who rarely commented on such things, said it was good to see me ‘fattening up’, and that maybe taking on my new job had been ‘a good move, after all’.

I walked across the plaza, to the spot that was fast becoming my favorite place in the whole of New York. I’d been to this fountain before starting my job at Global, then I’d been again the night Adam had first told me his secret. Now, here I was: a woman who had been tied up, naked, and whipped in a warehouse, called a ‘little whore’, and made into her stepbrother’s slave for three hours – and all because she’d wanted it! Not many people could say they’d done what I’d done. I wasn’t quite so green any more.

Of course, I was still a virgin. Adam and I hadn’t fucked on Saturday night. He’d bathed me, slipping that sponge into place that made me gasp with pleasure, but each time I was ready to give myself to him completely, to let him do absolutely anything that he wanted, he’d pulled away. He explained to me that what had happened between us wasn’t some twisted ploy to get sex out of me. That our bonds were deeper than that, and he didn’t want this to be some sort of ‘dirty casual sex’ type thing. I told him it didn’t have to be casual, thinking that maybe, just maybe, we could make a relationship out of this – stepbrother and stepsister, together – but he ignored my remark.

When I got out of the bath, he kissed me on the top of the head, like he might kiss a child, and then ordered me a cab. He thanked me again, tenderly, and I left.

The more I thought about it yesterday, though, the more pleased I was that we hadn’t had sex. I couldn’t give everything away to Adam in one go. Saturday evening had been intense enough as it was without
that
. Besides, I wanted my first time to be about love. Pretty corny, eh? But true. However I felt about Adam – and I had an awful lot of feelings, right now – I wouldn’t have sex with him before I knew that he loved me. I had no idea whether that would ever happen, but I didn’t want to ruin the moment by worrying about it. Adam and I had done something intimate.
So
intimate that I’d probably never be able to tell another soul about it, as long as I lived. It was the naughtiest, most erotic, most daring thing I’d ever done. And it had made me feel like a new me.

When I got to the fountain in the plaza, I jumped up and sat on the stone edge, and looked in. I wondered which of the many coins lying at the bottom was the one I’d thrown in, just over a fortnight ago.
 

I reached into my pocket and took out another coin. Looked again at the picture on the back of it. Torch, olive branch, oak branch. Liberty. Peace. Strength.
 

I’d told Adam, back in our first meeting, that I was looking for peace. Had I found it? I’d certainly found something. A kind of acceptance for myself. Adam had shown me a sacred space for me in the world, one where I could accept my vulnerability and weakness, and could be a supplicant for those who were more powerful than me. People like him. Where, in a safe and controlled environment, I could surrender to someone completely. All my life, I’d been told I ought to be smarter, more confident, more ambitious… In those three hours with Adam, all I had to be was naked. I don’t just mean physically naked, though of course I was. I mean open, completely open and honest and myself. There was nothing but truth in the way I’d presented myself to him: the honesty of my nude body, the openness to letting him take charge. All it took was trust, and trust was an empowering attribute. When you’re with someone you trust, anything’s possible.

I became aware of the ointment on my buttocks, the light smearing of grease on my skin. I wondered whether it had seeped through my pantyhose and was at all visible on the fabric of my skirt. Rather than fearing how that might look, I found the thought quite arousing. A big greasy mark across my butt cheeks. What would people think I had been doing? Innocent little Rose, with a greasy butt? The thought of it made me smile.

I turned the coin over in my fingers a few times and looked back into the water. I didn’t need to make a wish today. I put the coin back in my pocket.

Time for work.

‘You’re early,’ said Tegan, as I sat down at my desk.

‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘Shorthand exam tomorrow. Thought I’d start off the week on a good note.’

‘Glad to hear it,’ she replied. ‘I’ve been in for an hour already. Big deadline.’ Tegan had grown much bitchier with me since I’d started. I’d let it get to me last week, but not this week. I felt more in control today, more able to fight my corner. I wasn’t going to end up working with another Jen.

‘I was up working until two in the morning,’ I said, ‘otherwise I’d have come in earlier. Anyway, if you don’t mind, I’d better crack on.’

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tegan’s mouth opening and closing. She’d never seen me this cocky, and it felt good.

I opened up my emails, and was relieved to see I had no more outstanding work. I needed to keep swotting up for this test tomorrow. If I failed that, I may not be able to work here much longer. Regardless of what might have been going on with Adam outside of the office, I knew I had to remain on his good side in here.

I opened up my shorthand revision file, and began focusing on the hieroglyphic-esque shapes in front of me. Pretty soon, all memory of ropes, welts, and ointment had drifted from my mind, and all I could think about were phonetics, phrasings, and diphthongs…

*

‘It’s almost three, Rose, you’ve not even stopped for a toilet break,’ said Tegan, raising her eyebrows at me.

‘Oh shit, lunch!’ I said, remembering I hadn’t stuck to my food plan today. I needed an avocado and cashew nut salad, if I remembered correctly. They sold them at the canteen on the next floor up. Adam would be disappointed if I didn’t keep fattening myself up for him.

‘There’s cake in Room 341 at half three. Nisha’s leaving party. Did you meet her?’

I nodded. I remembered Nisha. The plump, attractive woman who’d served us tea during my first meeting with Adam. The one who hadn’t stopped scowling.

Tegan leaned in towards me conspiratorially, her eyes sparkling, and I realized she had warmed to me since I’d shown more of an interest in my work. Maybe she wasn’t so bad, after all. ‘Rumor has it she’s leaving because of Mr. Cooper.’

‘Mr. Cooper,’ I replied, blushing at his name. ‘Why?’

‘Turns out they’ve been having a
thing
together,’ she grins. ‘Someone saw them saying at a hotel together, about a month ago. She’s been looking for a new job ever since.’