Struggle (4 page)
Authors: P.A. Jones
"Wake up
, sugar. It’s almost ten.” I opened my eyes half-way to see Chloe, dressed for class.
"You go ahead
, Chloe. I am planning to take a day off. I need to see the doctor, then go to that website firm. It’s gonna be a long day.” I curled up into my blanket again. "Could you please set the alarm for eleven? I have an appointment at noon.”
"
Okay, darling. Take a cab. Don’t put stress on your leg."
After a minute or two,
I heard the door closing. I fell back to sleep.
***
Jennifer Lopez was shouting.
What the fuck? Why is the iPod crying?
Then I remembered that it's the alarm Chloe must have set.
I should get up, or I’ll be late for the doctor's appointment.
I rolled out of bed, still feeling sleepy. I took a quick bath, and picked up my bag. Within the next thirty minutes, I was standing in front of my doctor’s clinic. I knocked on the door."C'mon in, Eva." Doctor Marshal was a sweet man in his fifties. He always gave me a chocolate when I visited him, just like my father when I was a kid. That made me think about my mother and her wishes.
Damn, I shouldn't be thinking about her now.
"Hello
, doc. How are you today? Are you okay? You look pale. How’s Martha?" Martha was his wife. I went to his daughter's wedding a few years back and met his beautiful wife. I have been friends with her ever since.
"I am the doctor here, and Martha is fine. Now
, tell me what bought you here on Wednesday afternoon." His eyes were empathetic. He always has given me the assurance I needed when I felt sad or weak.
"My leg is hurting again
, Doc. A bicycle hit me yesterday and it's been hurting since then. My competition is in two months. Can you look at it?” I was getting worried and I couldn't hide it.
"Let me look at it
. Just get on the exam table.” He took his glasses out of his pocket and put them on. He always uses them when he gets serious. I laid down on the table. Doc came over and looked at my bruises. He then touched them. “Ouch, damn!” Tears formed in my eyes.
“I
don't think you have any broken bones, or else you would have cried a lot more after I pressed it. Maybe the muscle rupture is talking again."
My stomach muscles tightened.
That was my worst nightmare. “Are you saying that the injury that put me out of game three years ago is coming back?” I couldn't believe it. If he is correct, that can put me out of my game for more than three months.
"I think the answer is yes, but
I want to run some tests, then we can assess it better.”
I still couldn't believe what he was saying because my scholarship depends on the race
. If I don't get it, I wouldn't have any other choice other than joining my mom’s business. Tears started running down my cheeks. Doc patted me on my shoulder and pointed to the restroom.
The scanning room was next to the
restroom. One of the nurses completed my paperwork, and I got the scanning done. "The results will be back in two hours." she said. I thought about going to the web site firm, but I couldn't do that. There was no way I could have visited that web site firm without getting the results of my tests first. It was hard for me to control myself. I looked down the street from the window in the reception area. A pub was open, and I thought that wine was the thing which could calm me down right now so I headed down. I could hear many people talking when I entered the pub, but I had no desire to look at anyone. I walked up to the bar and ordered wine. I thought about my life. It sucked and I wanted to cry. I wanted a calm atmosphere, but someone was shouting.
I looked around
to find the source of the sound. I shrugged, a chilly breeze coming in from the open doors. It was afternoon and, surprisingly, the place was packed. Most of them were tired-looking doctors, chatting with each other and drinking beer.
"
Waiter, one more.” That manly voice sent tingles over my body. I gasped, having never responded to anyone’s voice before. I looked behind me. A man, around 25, was sitting at a table, a woman next to him. He had long black hair, a roughly shaved mouth, and a cut on his chin. He turned around to look at something and our eyes met.
Everything
around us froze for a moment. I could see his oval-shaped face clearly, but everything else blurred around him, like a slow motion movie. The only alive part were his facial expressions and my eyes. His dark brown eyes locked onto mine. My heart skipped a beat, and my legs weakened. I wanted to touch him, feel his skin.
I snapped out of
it when the waiter walked up to him. “Thanks.” His deep voice smoothed everything around me. He turned his head back to his girlfriend.
I looked at my glass, but his
face took up every corner of my mind. Just the look of him took the breath out of me. I never felt this kind of thing for anyone in my life, Jacob included. I needed another drink. "Waiter, one more, please."He was unaware of everything. He kissed his girlfriend, which hit me like a bullet in my chest. I couldn't sit there any longer. I didn’t understand what was happening with me. Was it just the sorrow that I felt for my tournament, or was I really jealous of his girlfriend? I didn't have the answer.
I got
up and walked outside. I needed fresh air. The results of my test should be back now anyway so I shook any thought of him from my mind and started walking back to the hospital. He had a girlfriend anyway, and I had other things to worry about.
***
I checked in at reception, and she said that the report was already sent to the doctor’s office. When I entered, his puffy face gave me the answer. I knew something was bad. "What is it?”
"I have some bad news for you
, Eva." He took out his glasses. “You told me that you want to run in this tournament or something, right?"
"Yes
. It's for a scholarship. I discussed this with Martha over the phone a few days back."
"Yes
, I remember. She told me about it the other day." He looked at me. "I am afraid that you can't run…at least in this tournament. Your ligament is ruptured, which will require some heavy therapy to treat.”
I sank in
to the chair, holding my head in my hands. I couldn't believe it. It was over.
He
came closer, patted on my shoulder, and gave me a glass of water. “There is some good news. If you do the therapy and exercise properly, you will be in good shape again in less than a year.”
The words didn't
penetrate. Only the thought of my career's end came to mind. The thought of not running in the tournament and losing the scholarship was killing me. An accident in my childhood had ruined my life, my dream, my hope.
"Hey
, Eva, you can always return to running after six months, but not this season because you will just injure yourself more.”
Slowly,
I stood up. I didn't have anything to say. I took the report, paid the receptionist, walked out, and hailed a cab. The whole world was laughing. It turned black-and-white, like somebody sucked the color out of my life. All three years of practice and determination was going to waste.
***
Chloe was in our room when I got back. She was laying on bed and texting someone, probably Martin. I put my bag down and sunk into my bed without saying anything.
"Hey
, sugar, what happened? How did it go with the doc? Didn't he give you any chocolate today?" she said, giggling.
I couldn't speak
. I laid there, crying into my pillow. Chloe came over, took my head into her lap, and allowed me to cry. My eyes eventually dried up. “It’s over, Chloe. Doc said no running this season. At least for 6-8 months, but it will take a year to recover. My scholarship, my dream, is gone.”
"Sugar, don't worry
. You will get through it. You can take a break this year, then run next year. Just don't cry, okay?” She stroked my head to calm me.
"
You know that my mother won't allow that. She will force me to join her business." Fresh tears rolled down my face. I kept crying until I fell asleep in her lap.
My phone was ringing
. I looked at the screen:
Meeting with Japanese Client in 1 hour.
Shit, how did I forget that?
I looked around. I was fucking drinking with Amelia at 3 PM in the afternoon?
Damn, I haven't prepared the presentation or the proposal. This is going to kill me, for sure.
I had to go back and get ready.
I kissed Amelia
, gave her my number, and said that I would call her. Without taking her number in return, I caught a cab. I knew she would understand my situation and would call me. While sitting in the cab, I tried to focus on the proposal, but I kept remembering the girl I saw in the bar. Her flawless, olive skin accentuated her almond-shaped eyes, and her long, curly brown hair was loose on her back. Something about her lips made me dizzy. I never felt that for anyone, even Samantha. I felt like time slowed down when I looked into her eyes.
Shit, I should be thinking about the meeting and here I am thinking about a stranger. I don't even know her name.
When I
got back to my apartment, it was almost time for the meeting. I cleared up the mess and sat in front of my computer. The Skype ringed. “Hello, Mr. Shui.” I bowed a bit.
"Hello, Mr. Nathan. I hope you have good news for us." He bowed in response.
My heart took a dip
. I didn't have anything to give him. “I am still looking into it. I am close to completing, but it may be in a day or two. Then I will send you the complete proposal."
"
That's not acceptable, Mr. Nathan. We have discussed this and you know the urgency of the matter. I think we have to think about other options. It was good talking to you, Mr. Nathan."
The call ended
, making me dizzy. What have I done? This client was needed so I could pay my bills. I needed this because a few of my other clients were dependent on it. The payment was small, but the result for other clients was going to be good.
I have totally messed up this time.
I sat looking into space for some time, then my screen blinked three times and my laptop went into sleep mode.
I didn't know how much time I sat like that. When my laptop flashed
, I looked at the clock. I had been sitting there doing nothing for almost an hour. I checked my emails. They were all order cancellations from the connected clients. The Japanese had done the damage, and I was left thinking about my future.
I
slid down in the chair, holding my head between my hands. I had been spending all my money on booze, girls, expensive gifts, expensive rides. Now, when I didn't have anything, maybe it was the time for me to rethink my future and who I wanted to be.
Shit, I need some alcohol to think straight. How can I leave all of this? What would that girl think about me? Who was she? Shit
my head started going to her again. She must be one of the millions of girls living in New York, and I had no chance of finding her. When she saw me with Amelia, she wouldn't even look at me again.
Why am I thinking about this? Did I forget Samantha and how that all went?
I had to get my head clear and booze was the only option
. I didn't want to think about that girl anymore.
My alarm buzzed early
, reminding me that I set it early for practice. The dark shadows moved around room. They resembled my mood.
The thought of not being able to compete in the tournament was eating at me. The loud alarm of my IPhone woke Chloe up. She must have seen me looking at the ceiling because she killed the alarm and came over to me. Her soft hands
moved
through my hair. Tears started flowing down my face again.
"Hey, sweets.
Don't be weak. You can do better than this. Where is my Eva who fought against all the odds?” Chloe kissed my forehead. She was like an older sister to me.
I didn't
say anything, just closed my eyes and pretended to be a asleep. After a little bit, she went back to her bed. She was already doing a lot of things for me, and I didn't want to bother her again and again. I got up after a few minutes.
The hot
water flowing through the shower softened my mood a bit. After all, I didn't lose my life or any of my organs. I could still do something with my life. Things look different when your mood lifts up a bit. When I came out of the bathroom, I saw that my phone was blinking. It was a text from Mrs. Cooper:
I hope you will visit the firm today. I had to go through lots of calls to reschedule.
To
tell the reason of yesterday's cancelation I had told her about my meeting with doctor. I guessed she must have bitched about this to my mother.
My
appointment was scheduled at 4 PM so I had some time to check my classes, then hit the library to get a new book. I had art with Mrs. Hunt today. This was the only class I liked because of the practical. She was a very nice teacher and let the students decide the sketches that they wanted to draw. It was always fun in her class. We were going to use water colors so I decided to wear something old…a rough shirt and black trousers. I knew I must be looking like a geek, but I had nobody looking at me.
From the day I broke up with Jacob
, I decided to concentrate on my own life. I tried to date two boys from the college, but every relationship felt like a shallow one.
I
shook my head and headed to class.
***
Chloe caught me when I was heading out of class. "Thank god you are wearing your old clothes. You’re looking like a mess with all the colors on your shirt."
I looked
down at myself. My sleeves were splashed with the colors I used in class. My trousers contained various shades I used, also. "I am looking like a color queen, aren’t I?"
"Yes
, sugar. You are definitely a queen." She smiled and patted me on the shoulder. "Don't you have an appointment with the firm today?”
"
Yep, 4 PM.” I looked at my watch. It was 3:10. “Shit, I am going to be late. How can I go like this? I need to clean up.”
"Go and get ready
. Be ten minutes late, but get yourself clean first."
She moved on to meet Martin and I walked towards our
dorm. Before she was far away, she turned back.” “Hey, sweets, give Mason a call and check what his firm’s offer is for the package. Doesn’t hurt to get the info. I will text you his number."
I
didn’t know if she was trying to set me up with Mason or not, but she wasn't that kind of girl. She cared for me more than anyone so I doubt she would do something like that.
***
I took a quick shower, then caught a cab. It was already 3:30 and it was going to take nearly 45 minutes for me to reach the firm. I decided to call Mason. “Hi, Mason here.”
"Hi
, Mason, it’s Eva. We met at the club a few days back."
"How can I forget you
, pretty face? Tell me what I can do for you." I didn't expect flirting on the phone.
"Well, we have a project
due that needs to be done by a firm. I am heading there right now, but I wanted to have your opinion on the charges and the total cost. It will be a standalone ERP and Facebook-like integration." I exhaled. It was a lot of technical information for my brain.
"
It's hard to estimate that without seeing your scope but, for my firm, it would have been around twenty thousand minimum, though we don't do such small projects. But if you want, I can get it done for you." He must have gotten many sales because of his skills, but my budget was strictly ten thousand.
"I will call you if I need some help
."
"You can call me
anytime. I’ll definitely be waiting.” He was a charming man. I would have enjoyed his flirting if I was in a happy mood, but…
***
This side of New York was completely new to me. I had never been here. I searched for the address and found that it was an apartment. Maybe the firm owner had turned his apartment into his office. It would be strange, but people would do anything to save money.
I checked the address again and pressed the bell. It was a four story building with
a maintained garden. Trees always made me happy, maybe because I like to run in them.
"
Who's this?" came a voice from the intercom.
"It
’s Eva Clark. We have an appointment.”
"Are you from the university?" The voice was kind of
weak.
"Yes
. Can I come in? We can talk in your office."
"Please, but you are fifteen minutes late."
"Shall I say sorry when I come in?" I was getting angry. This man was irritating me.
The door opened and I
climbed into the lift. When I rang the bell to flat 809, a man opened the door.
I
caught my breath. It was him, the man from the bar. He was in a gray suit, perfectly fitted around his chest, showing just a hint of muscle in his arms. My knees felt weak. My eyes met his and I thought he recognized me, but that could have been my imagination. “Are you okay? Please come in."
I
snapped back to the present. I was here on business, but his scent and his manly looks drove me crazy. He led me into his apartment.
"Please
, have a seat. I will get you some water.” I could hear his voice, but I wasn’t able to talk.
This isn't good. I should not get under his spell.
When he came back with a glass of water, I was still standing there.
He sat on the chair in front of
his computer, waving his hand towards another chair. I snapped out of the spell and sat. “So, you are here for some college work, right?”
"Yes
." I started taking out the documents, handing them over. He started looking through them. I kept staring at him. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. He looked up and our eyes met.
His were dark brown and were sucking me in. He was sitting close to me, his cologne taking over my senses. He looked at the documents again, but I couldn't resist catching his every action.
"This look
s detailed. You have covered most of the requirements so this is a good starting point for me. I can definitely give you estimates based on this. Do you require anything else?"
"You
,” I said without thinking.
"What?"
His eyes widened.
I recovered.
"I mean, you can give an initial estimate based on this?"
He
looked at his computer, thinking. His long hair fell in front of his eyes, and he had a habit of pulling it back with his left hand. He had already done it four times in front of me. The action made me weak in the knees. I didn't know what was happening, but I was falling under his spell again.
God, I need to get out of here.
"It's hard
to say for sure, but I think it will be around 13,14 thousand, at least. This requires lots of work, and many visits to your college, as well." He looked sincerely into my eyes.
He was
making me weak. I wanted to say yes, but then I remembered Mrs. Cooper. “Our budget is ten thousand and we can't stretch beyond that. We’re a hoping that you will help us."
He went into deep thought again.
“I will have to think. Is it okay that I give you a call in a day or two?”
"
It's okay with me." I didn't want to leave, but our meeting was over.
"Thank you
, then. I will let you know." He stood up, which I took as my cue that it was time to leave.
He walked me to the door but, when I was about to leave,
I remembered my bag so I turned back. I stopped an inch away from his face, his hot breath fanning my forehead. I looked up and melted into his brown eyes. Then I made the mistake of looking at his lips. I felt the urge to squeeze them in my teeth, but then I remembered that he had a girlfriend. I had never felt this for anyone, and I couldn’t figure out how he had gotten into my head so easily.
I took a deep breath when I was
finally out of his apartment. All the way back to my dorm, I kept thinking about his eyes, his lips
. Why is this happening to me?
I
opened my door, and Chloe was sitting there. She looked at me. "Hey, sugar. Why do you look like that? What happened?”
"It was him
, Chloe.”
"Who? Are you
okay?” She came over and felt my forehead. "You look dizzy. Tell me what happened,” she said, worried. How could I tell her what was going on when I didn’t know myself?
