strongholdrising (22 page)

* * *

Carrie pushed open her front door and stepped into the entrance hall. The familiar scent of polish brought back a flood of memories. As if in a dream, she headed for the stairs.
"Do you want me to come with you?" asked Kaid.
"Not just yet," she said, putting her foot on the first step. "I need to be alone with my daughter for a few minutes. I won't be long."
She went straight to the nursery, hesitating briefly in front of the closed door. Kashini was six months old now. She remembered the data cube Dzaka and Kitra had sent to Haven for them. Would Kashini remember her? Resolutely, she pushed the door open. As soon as she smelled her daughter's scent, all the maternal feelings that she'd had to push deep inside during their mission returned in a rush. As she ran to the high-sided cot, the nurse stood up, murmuring a greeting, but Carrie barely noticed her.
Kashini lay sprawled on her stomach, fast asleep. Her tiny blonde-furred hands lay half-furled on the mattress, and beneath the hem of her small tunic, her tail tip twitched gently.
Unlatching the cot side, Carrie lowered it, reaching out to stroke the mass of blonde curls that covered her cub's head. The infant stirred, eyes flicking open, nose wrinkling at the new scent. Carrie felt her mind seized and held firmly for a moment or two, then with a mewl of pure delight, Kashini was scrambling to her feet and flinging herself at her mother.
Arms that could barely reach around Carrie's neck hugged her tightly. A small pink tongue began to lick her face as the cub continued to make small frantic noises of pleasure.
"Mamma's home," Carrie said, cradling her cub close and gently starting to sway from side to side. "I'm home, little one," she whispered. It wasn't until Kashini looked at her with Kusac's amber eyes that Carrie's tears began to fall.

* * *

It was fifteen minutes before she'd composed herself enough to come downstairs to the den, still carrying Kashini. As soon as she sat down, the cub squirmed free and clambered to the ground, toddling round unsteadily on two legs, inspecting the new arrivals.
"I hadn't thought she'd be walking upright so soon," said Carrie, gratefully accepting the coffee from Kaid.
"It's because their legs are too straight for running on fours like us," said Kitra. "So Vanna says. Her son, Marak, is everywhere now!"
"Has she been a handful?" asked Carrie ruefully, watching as her daughter headed over to Jo and held out her arms to be lifted up.
"I had Dzaka to help me," said Kitra.
"That one's a born father," observed T'Chebbi, catching Kitra's sharp look in her direction as she spoke.
Cautiously, Jo picked her up, surprised when the cub curled up against her belly, patting the just noticeable bulge. She looked up at Jo and began to purr and chitter in a way that sounded like speech.
"She knows I'm pregnant," exclaimed Jo, shocked. "I felt it in her mind!"
"Kashini was born with an awakened Talent," said Carrie, taking a sip from her mug.
Satisfied, with more little noises, Kashini clambered down and headed for Kaid, clutching hold of his leg and looking up at him, wide-eyed and curious.
Tentatively, he reached out and patted her on the head. "Good little cub," he muttered, withdrawing his hand. Kashini had other ideas and latched her fingers round his, extending her claws to make sure he couldn't get away.
At that moment, the door opened and Dzaka and Rezac came in.
Kaid winced, allowing Kashini to draw his hand back down to her level. "What does she want?" he asked, looking at Carrie, obviously at a loss to know what to do. He jumped slightly as a small tongue rasped its way across his palm. "What do I do?"
"Get used to it," said T'Chebbi with a laugh. "You'll be a father soon, too."
"You've got a cub on the way?" asked Taizia incredulously, looking toward T'Chebbi.
She shook her head. "Not me."
Carrie steeled herself for everyone's reaction. "Me. I thought your parents would have told you. They did tell you Kaid and I are Leska Linked now, didn't they?"
"Yes, but not about the cub," said Taizia, studiously keeping her eyes on Kashini, who'd turned away from Kaid and was now heading for Kitra. "I expect they thought that was private, yours to tell us when you were ready."
"The Primes saved my life," said Carrie quietly. "But at a cost."
"They had to remove her contraceptive implant," said Kaid smoothly, recovering his composure now that the cub had lost interest in him. "They said it interfered with their treatment. We think it's only because she's pregnant that any of us are alive."
"I wondered about that," said Taizia. "When Zhyaf died, Mara Linked to Josh, her third."
"Zhyaf's dead?" exclaimed Kaid and Carrie together.
"Kezule took him hostage when he escaped. Mara nearly died. It took Ghyan's help to stop her following Zhyaf into death."
"Kusac was still alive, but his talent was suppressed by drugs and the alien implant," said Kaid, glancing at Carrie. "So the third is potentially a Leska partner. That explains a lot."
Carrie's attention was on Kashini while the others were talking. She watched as Kitra tried to prevent the cub climbing up onto her lap, suddenly sensing from her daughter why. She looked up, catching Kitra's eyes, seeing the stricken look on the young female's face change to one of helplessness as she realized Kashini was in mental contact with her mother.
"Not you too!" Carrie whispered.
"What?" asked Dzaka as he came down the steps toward Kaid.
"Nothing," said Carrie, getting up to retrieve her daughter.
Kaid stood up and went to meet him.
"It's good to have you home, Father," Dzaka said as they held each other close.
"Good to be home," said Kaid, running his hand over his son's cheek as he released him. "I hear you and Kitra are to be life-bonded soon. Congratulations to you both. When is the ceremony?" he asked, glancing toward his son's Leska.
Dzaka's mouth opened in a slow smile as he looked across at Kitra. "As soon as Kusac and you are well enough to attend the service at Stronghold."
"Stronghold, eh?"
"Father Lijou wants to perform the ceremony himself," Dzaka said, moving over to Kitra. "You won't have heard yet, but he and Mistress Kha'Qwa have a son."
"A son?" Kaid shook his head as he returned to his seat. "Stronghold will never be the same."
"There used to be families there," said Rezac. "Back in our time."
"And up until two generations ago," said Kitra as Dzaka perched on the arm of her chair. "I've been looking into the history of the place. It was the last two Warrior Masters, particularly Ghezu, who prevented any bonded Brothers and Sisters from living there together. They were sent to one of the colony worlds until their cubs were old enough for them to return and be fostered in Dzahai village."
"No cubs of ours will be fostered, though," said Dzaka, his hand closing on Kitra's shoulder.
We need to talk,
he sent.
Why didn't you tell me you were expecting our cub?
The stricken look returned to Kitra's face.
Who told you?
You and Carrie— when I came in just now. Smile, Kitra. We'll talk later. They have enough troubles without us adding to them.
Dzaka looked over to Carrie. "Garras is organizing transport and accommodation for the new Brothers when they arrive," he said.
"Would you ask Ghyan to organize his usual Reception talk for them," said Carrie tiredly, bending down to pick Kashini up. "Tell him the one called Dzaou needs watching. He's got a problem with both telepaths and any non-Sholans. Why Rhyaz wants him here, I can't fathom."
"He's here because until he changes his attitude, he's a time bomb waiting to go off," said Kaid.
"I'll see to it, Liegena," nodded Dzaka.
"We should eat now," said Kitra, forcing her mouth open in a smile. "The meal will spoil otherwise and Zhala will be angry."

* * *

Kaid's wrist comm buzzed, waking him from his light doze. It was Vanna.
"He'll be ready for us to move from the cryo unit in a few minutes," she said. "It'll be another half hour before he wakes, though."
"Thank you," he said. Uncurling himself, he got to his feet, stretching all five limbs to ease the kinks out of them. Sleeping on sofas was for the young, he decided ruefully, rubbing his stiff back as he went over to the bed where Carrie lay asleep, Kashini cradled in her arms.
Looking down at them, one part of him warmed at the sight, imagining how she'd look holding their cub. The other part shrank from the thought, afraid not only of the responsibilities of impending fatherhood, but the physical changes Carrie would have to endure while carrying their cub. He'd been afraid for her life when he'd helped Kusac birth Kashini. The pain he'd experienced— her pain, shared by both himself and Kusac through their Link with her, had been terrible. He hadn't wanted to put her through that again. And there was Kusac. He sighed, then reached down to caress the small head resting against Carrie's arm.
The scene blurred, and he saw Carrie lying in his bed at his home up in the Dzahai mountains, a tiny brown-furred newborn held close against her breast.
He blinked, and the vision was gone.
Carrie's eyes flickered open and she yawned. Still shaken by the vision, Kaid squatted down at the side of the bed, cupping his hand round her face.
"Don't pull away from me," he said gently as she began to move. "Ever since Kusac tried to kill himself, you've kept your distance from me, even on our Link days."
"I feel responsible," she said. "I know it doesn't make sense but I can't help it."
"You aren't," he said forcefully, letting his hand slip down to rest intimately against her neck. "Don't let Kashini feel this misplaced guilt of yours. We're a Triad, you're carrying our cub. If you go on like this, you'll harm not only our relationship, but Kashini's toward me and her unborn sister."
She lay still, looking up at him, then nodded slowly. "I'll try, Tallinu. It isn't that I love you less, it's that I feel guilty for loving you when Kusac..."
He leaned forward, silencing her with a kiss.
You have a right to be happy even while you grieve for your lost Link to Kusac,
he sent.
Vartra knows, I feel the same, but I won't let it affect us, Carrie.
Between them, Kashini woke and began to squirm, reaching out to catch hold of a lock of Kaid's hair. As she tugged on it, he yelped, pulling back wryly as he tried to undo her strong grip. Next moment, she was crawling over his chest, mewling happily, still clinging onto his hair.
"What do I do?" he appealed to Carrie, clutching at the cub to stop her from falling. "I know nothing about infants!"
Carrie sat up, watching them, wishing that she could forget the guilt she felt. "You get used to it," she said, echoing T'Chebbi's earlier words. "I expect both my life-mates to help rear our cubs."
"Dzaka was four, a much more civilized age, when he came to me," he muttered, catching hold of her hand as she reached tentatively for his cheek.

* * *

He remembered his stomach hurt, so did his throat, and he was confused. He hadn't expected to wake at all. Familiar scents teased his nostrils: Vanna's, Carrie, and Kaid's. Then a mind touched his and agony surged through him. It robbed him of breath at first as his body arched upward before slamming back down on the bed.
"Stop it, Chiuduu! Stop it now!" yelled Carrie, rushing in from the other room to stop the telepath.
Kaid grasped her by the arm, pulling her close. "Finish it, Chiuduu," he ordered.
"Kaid! In Vartra's name, that's enough!" Vanna exclaimed.
The telepath physician glanced at Kaid.
"Tallinu! For God's sake, tell him to stop! Kusac's in agony! How can you do this to him?" demanded Carrie, struggling against him. "Stop blocking my mind, damn you!"
Kaid locked his arms around Carrie. "Get on with it, Chiuduu," he said harshly. "You can see how much pain he's in. Get what we need and get out."
The pain came in waves, each one worse until he felt the stranger's mind retreat, leaving him alone. A hypo spray stung his neck twice.
As the pain began to lessen, gradually he became aware of Carrie's presence beside him, and the gentle touch of her hand on his cheek.
"I'm sorry, Kusac," he heard Kaid say. "It had to be done. If not by us, then the Brotherhood and the Telepath Guild would have demanded it. We need to know what you're keeping behind that shield, what's causing the pain when your mind's touched."
"You planned this all along, didn't you?" said Carrie's angry voice from beside him. "How could you do this to him? How could you not tell me?"
"Why was I not informed that a mental scan would have this effect on Kusac?" demanded Vanna. "There was no mention of this in the data you sent me!"
"Kaid's right, lass," said Jack. "He had to be mind-scanned as much for his own protection as anything. It's like setting a broken limb, only we can't yet anesthetize the conscious mind."
The Human's voice came closer till he felt a hand grasp his shoulder briefly. "He's done, laddie. There'll be no more for now, you have our word. We've given you a psi-suppressant to make sure."
"You knew about this, too?" asked Carrie incredulously. "And you agreed?"
"We had to know if the suicide attempt had been programmed into his subconscious by Chy'qui," said Kaid.
"And was it?" demanded Carrie.
There was a short silence before the stranger spoke. "No. That was Kusac's own decision."
The voice sounded strained, and through the last vestiges of his pain and the worry that they'd discovered what he kept locked deep in his subconscious, Kusac felt some satisfaction that like Vriuzu, this telepath had felt the same agony he'd experienced.
Carrie's hands withdrew from his face and neck. "I think you should all leave," she said, her voice suddenly cold. "You've gotten what you wanted. Now I want to speak to my life-mate privately."
"Carrie," began Kaid.
"Leave us alone!"
He listened to the footsteps retreating.
"Carrie, don't be too..."
"I said privately, Jack."
Uneasiness filled him as he remembered just how uncompromising and angry she could be. He continued to lie still, eyes shut, waiting to see what she'd do next. He felt the bed move as she got up.
"You can sit up now, Kusac. I know you're not as bad as you're letting on."
He uncurled cautiously. Nothing hurt this time. He managed to push himself unsteadily up into a sitting position. "How?" he asked, keeping his eyes away from her face while watching her pace the room.
"I know you better than anyone, Kusac. Dammit, we were Linked for over a year!"
"You're angry," he began.
She came to an abrupt halt beside him. "Damned right I am! You told me how afraid you were of losing me yet what do you do? You try to kill yourself!"
"I thought it for the best," he said quietly, wishing this was over, that he'd succeeded.
"Thought? You didn't
think
at all! You didn't care about anyone but yourself! You intended to leave me and Kashini alone!"
He didn't see the slap coming and when it landed on the side of his face, he automatically grabbed her by the arm and looked up at her in shock.
Tears were rolling down her face as she began to cry.
"There's Kaid..." he began.
"Kaid isn't you! I need you both— I love you both! You don't have the right to decide alone what's best for the three of us! Why did you give up? Why leave us? We've faced so much together, why did you push us away?" She collapsed on the bed, leaning against him, sobbing.
He released her wrist, tentatively reaching out to stroke her head. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Carrie. I thought it would be easier for you and Kaid if I wasn't there." He felt a vague remorse at upsetting her.
"When did we ever choose the easy way? We've always faced things together, head on. Why did you shut us out?" Her voice was muffled, distressed.
"It's not that simple," he said. "You don't know what it's like living without my Talent— not being able to feel you or your love."
"It's no less real!" she said, lifting her head. "I can't sense you, but that doesn't affect my love for you!"
He remained silent for a moment, knowing the reply she wanted, but unable to give it. "I don't know what I feel right now, Carrie," he said quietly. "Everything still seems distant, as if it isn't happening to me. If it'll help, I'll give you my word I'll not do it again."
She sat up, rubbing her hand across her eyes. "You'll fight this? Let us help you and not try to shut us out?"
He nodded slowly. "I'll try."
A commotion in the distance made them look toward the door.
"Sounds like your mother's awake," said Carrie, scrubbing at her face again and getting up.
Rhyasha came flying through the door, closely pursued by Kaid. She stopped just inside the room, tail swaying anxiously beneath the hem of her short summer tabard.
"Kusac," she said, and her tone spoke volumes.
"Hello, Mother," he said tiredly, trying to force his mouth open in a smile. "You don't need to scold me, Carrie's already done it."
the
Couana,
Zhal-S'Asha, 19th day (October)
Roused from his semi-doze, he heard the door behind him open. Rubbing his eyes to dispel the dream, he turned to see Banner entering the bridge carrying two sealed mugs.
"Thought you could do with a drink," Banner said, coming over to the command console and handing him a mug. "It's nearly time for shift change."
Nodding his thanks, he accepted it, popping the lid free and pressing it onto the retainer on the bottom of the mug. He turned his attention back to his console as Banner took the comms seat in front of him.
"What's up, Kusac?" Banner asked, taking a sip of his own drink. "You aren't usually so stressed out. More memories? I thought you'd gotten over them weeks ago."
He took a drink before replying. He supposed he owed his Second an explanation. "So did I. They started when I went back to Stronghold," he said, cradling the mug in both hands. "It's as if I'm reliving everything again."
Banner shifted in his seat. "Is it anything to do with what Toueesut, Annuur, and whatzzis name did?"
He looked up. Now was not the time to tell him. Later, perhaps, when he had a better understanding of what they'd done, and his suspicions were proved one way or the other. "Kzizysus. No more than usual," he said with forced lightness. "I'm tired of being pushed in front of every medical expert who thinks they've found a cure." He took another mouthful, finding the drink suddenly bland and tasteless.
"Can't be easy," Banner said sympathetically. "Is it helping any? Reliving the memories, I mean."
"Some."
"Understanding includes realizing that choices are limited by one's mental and physical circumstances," said Banner, choosing his words carefully. "Realizing that sometimes our biological programming overrides our intellect. Until you met Carrie, your life was very predictable, very controlled, either by you or your family. Captivity took that freedom you'd found with her, and the luxury of choice, away from you."
He raised an eye ridge. "You've been researching me." There was a hard note in his voice.
The other shrugged. "Only talking to those who know you."
Suddenly he was aware of his heart beating a counterpoint to the rhythmic throbbing of the
Couana
's engines. "I knew Rhyaz would send a Special Operative with me," he said softly. "I didn't think it would be you."
"I'm one," admitted Banner.
"One?"
"Rhyaz didn't send me."
"Lijou, then."
Banner said nothing, merely took another drink.
"Why two?" he asked.
"Because Rhyaz has been unsure of you since your return from Haven. I'm here to help you."
He digested this for a minute as he forced himself to relax. There was no reason for Banner to lie to him. "Why tell me?" he asked abruptly.
"So you know there's one person on board on your side. Considering some of the crew members, I figured it was necessary to tell you."
He gave a snort of amusement. "You mean Dzaou. Rhyaz picked the crew himself."
"You didn't think he'd make this easy, did you? I'm here to see his testing is fair."
"What did Lijou tell you about this mission?"
"There was little he could tell. Only that it related to a message sent to Haven to be delivered to you."
He'd told no one what the message meant. Rhyaz had his own interpretation, but it was wrong. "Rhyaz thinks the message is from General Kezule. It isn't." As he spoke, the odors contained on the message seemed to surround him once more. The real message was in the scents, yet it seemed no one but he could read them.
"Kezule? I thought he was safe on the Prime world."
"Apparently not." He put the mug down on the side of his console and reached inside his jacket.
"So who's it from?"
Taking the message out, he handed it over to Banner. "I'm not sure," he lied, "but Kezule is involved."
Banner unfolded and read it, unaware of Kusac's intense gaze. He handed it back to him. "It says very little, only that he must meet with you. Why you? Why not Kaid or Carrie?"
"Because he knows they're telepaths."
"And he knows you're not now, therefore he sees you as no threat," nodded the other. "I suppose it makes sense. What has he got that could be of interest to you?"
"We'll find out in three days," he said, folding it up carefully and returning it to his pocket.
"Do you need to keep it secret from the crew? Dzaou's having a real paranoia session over this."
"I expect he is, but he'll have to wait like the rest. It was Rhyaz who told me not to brief you until we were almost at the rendezvous. He's the one putting pressure on the crew, not me. Thank Vartra, Father Lijou is more perceptive than Rhyaz gives him credit for."
"Master Rhyaz is the Warrior Leader," murmured Banner. "A coin must always have two sides."
Shola, Zhal-Ghyakulla, 6th day (June)
When Kaid and Carrie had left for the medical center, Dzaka and Kitra retired to their suite, leaving T'Chebbi in charge. As he closed the door, Dzaka turned on the psi damper.
"Don't be mad at me, Dzaka," said Kitra, backing away and eyeing him warily. "It isn't my fault."
"Mad? Why should I be mad at you?" he asked, surprised. "I admit it came as something of a shock, but I couldn't be more delighted." He shook his head, mouth opening in a pleased smile as he came toward her. "I've loved looking after Kashini, but to have a cub of our own! I just hadn't thought we'd start our family so soon."
The moment he touched her, Kitra felt the magic of their Leska Link flow through her. Her resolve began to falter as his arms folded round her.
"I don't know that it's what I want," she murmured, returning his embrace. "Father and Mother won't be too happy. A cub was what the Chazouns wanted from me, and you know how hard they fought that."
"Forget the Chazouns. Even if they didn't accept your father's cancellation of your betrothal, the moment you became my En'Shalla Leska, they had no claim over you," he murmured, burying his face in her cloud of soft, blonde hair.
"Vanna's not sure how it happened."
He laughed, picking her slight form up in his arms and carrying her over to the sofa. "Maybe you need reminding," he whispered, catching hold of her ear gently with his teeth as he set her down then crouched beside her.
"That's not what I mean," she said, shivering with pleasure as he began to caress her neck. "I wasn't compatible with you till two days after we Linked."
"I'm told I'm very potent," he purred teasingly, reaching for the seals on her tabard. "Perhaps that's what Vanna meant." Pushing her garment aside, he ran his hands lovingly down her sides then leaned forward to cover her face with tiny bites.
"I don't know that I want a cub right now," repeated Kitra, her voice becoming quieter as she reached out to pull him close.
"You have me, we'd be sharing the cub, what's to worry about?" he whispered, breathing in her scent as he began to nibble his way toward her neck. He put a hand protectively on her belly. "My little mother!"
Her concerns were being swept aside by his obvious pleasure. Perhaps it— their cub— wouldn't be the problem she'd feared.
How can our cub be a problem?
he sent.
It was meant to be, Kitra. What were the odds on us becoming Leskas when I was only an empath? I've never heard of it happening. This is a joyful time for us both. There's our bonding ceremony still to come at Stronghold, your brother and bond-sister are back safe, as is my father. And now our child. He'll be company for Kashini while you finish your studies at the Guild. Think of the jealousy of your classmates— those who thought I wasn't even your lover!— when you return not only with one of the Brotherhood as your Leska and life-mate, but sharing a cub with him?
You're right,
sent Kitra.
They will be furious with envy! It isn't a very good reason to have a cub, though.
Our love is the reason,
Dzaka purred, sitting back to unbuckle his belt and pull off his gray tunic.
I don't expect you to give up the life you'd planned for yourself. You know what I'd like, but the decision's got to be yours.
She watched him through half-closed eyelids, seeing the almost luminous glow in his eyes as he bent down toward her again. Reaching up, she ran her fingers through his brindled pelt, letting him feel the tips of her unsheathed claws. He shuddered as her hands came to rest on his hips and their minds began to merge.
"Having you was the life I planned," she whispered. "We'll keep our cub."
You're a dzinae, Kitra, sent by Vartra Himself! How can one so young be so captivating! You complete me, kitling.