Strong Signal (Cyberlove #1) (18 page)

“Online—”

“—is different. And I’m different with you because…everything feels natural.”

He ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t think you’re different with me. I think…
I hope
…you can be yourself with me.”

I could. More than I could ever explain. Garrett got the Real Kai. Or at least, the best version of me. “So now that I spilled my guts and you already know about my family—or lack thereof—tell me about your family.”

“You know my dad died recently, but I grew up in Rickston with him, my mom and sister.”

“And you said your family doesn’t know about you being gay?”

“Nah. Never told them because I didn’t see a reason too. It’s not like I dated. I blew straight guys who wouldn’t look me in the eye afterward, and my one attempt at finding another guy online was a massive fail.”

That always hit me in the gut, when he said that, his tone a shot of bitterness. “Garrett…”

“My dad was a huge homophobe. A very vocal homophobe. I’m convinced the gay marriage ruling is what did him in.” Garrett tried to crack a smile and failed. “I’m not sure about my mom and sister. I think they’ll be okay, but it’s just been easier not to tell them, you know?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll tell them now though. Because of you.”

That squeezing in my chest returned. Was I wheezing? “Wait, what? Because of me?”

“That reminds me.” Garrett glanced at the clock. “I gotta call my sister.”

I grabbed his arm. “Are you telling her now?” My voice was rising to hysterical levels. I wasn’t even sure what I was so freaked out about but I was totally freaked.

Garrett finally realized I was losing it. He gripped my shoulders. “Whoa, Kai, calm down. No, I’m not going to come out to my sister on the phone. I need to check in with her because if I don’t, she’ll be calling me all night.”

Okay, that was fine. I started to breathe easier, but Garrett didn’t let it go. “You want to tell me why you freaked out?”

Not really. “It’s like…right now, we’re safe. It’s just us. Only us. And I forgot for a minute you have a life and family and what if she thinks I…turned you gay or hates me or…”

Garrett’s hand was a calming weight on my arm. “Let’s take this one step at a time. I’m going to call my sister, tell her I made it to my friend’s house safely, and that I’m going to stay here for a little while.”

I focused on his words, ignoring the
little while
part. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said. “But when you start to freak out, talk to me, if you can. And we’ll work through it. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing, but I want to try.”

I stared up at him, thinking it was way too soon to tell him I was already half in love with him. Okay maybe three-quarters. I nodded, and only managed to say, “Thank you.”

Garrett brushed a kiss against my forehead before pushing away from the bed.

I rested on my side, watching the muscles of his ass shifting as he bent over and pulled on his pants.

“Why’re you getting dressed?”

“I’m not talking to my sister naked,” he said, zipping his jeans.

“She won’t know!”

“I’ll
know. Pants must be worn while talking to Nicole.”

He surveyed my room, searching for his discarded shirt, before something caught his eye on the wall. I followed his gaze and smiled when he pointed at the wall of chalkboard where I’d written, months ago:
If you can’t find my body, ask Hazzard.

“What is that?”

“That was when I found out I’d just killed the archer of a serviceman. I was scared you’d retaliate!”

“Retaliate?” he asked incredulously. “How’d you even know I was in the Army?”

“After my orc took your guy down I asked around about you.”

“It’s crazy I’m here now, and that it all started with a
FWO
kill.” Garrett shook his head, still looking at the scrawl in white chalk. “Okay, I need to call this girl before she gets pissed.”

“Have fun.”

He saluted me, and his was a lot less sloppy than mine. I heard his footsteps down the hall, then noise as he rummaged in his bag.

With a groan and a wince at the soreness in my ass—welcome soreness—I got out of bed and pulled on a fresh pair of sweatpants. While checking my email, I heard Garrett’s voice filter down the hall.

“I’m here…just a friend…no not a girl, Nicole, a friend. How’s mom…he treating her right? I still need to look him up and shit…don’t tell me what I can’t do.”

Even though his tone was brash, there was an underlying affection behind it. I had no siblings and I’d always wondered what it was like to share blood with someone—to grow up with them and know every little thing about their past.

“Yeah, well I’m coming soon to see you and Ma, so get the parade ready…I’m kidding, dipshit. You throw me a parade and I’ll fucking burn the town down.”

I smiled as there was a much longer pause.

“No, I’m good. Really good. This was just something I had to do, okay. I’ll explain when I come home. Yeah, you’ll meet my friend…no you can’t fuck him.”

I laughed and had to cover my mouth.

“Don’t you have a boyfriend? That dude you took to the gun range?… Haha, of course you’re a better shot than him, you’re a Reid. All right, hey I gotta go. I’ll let you know when to expect me….
No parade!
…Right, love ya. Later.”

I wasn’t even reading anything on the screen as I sat smiling to myself. For some reason, Garrett talking to his sister made me all warm and fuzzy inside, which only intensified when his body heat coated my back and his hands rested on my shoulders and massaged.

“You sound like you really love your sister.”

“Eh, she’s okay.” Garrett smiled. “Nah, she’s great. You’ll like each other.” He stopped kneading and jerked his thumb at the door. “Do you mind if I shower?”

I faced the computer so he didn’t see my face. A female version of Garrett? That kind of scared me. And I didn’t know what to tell him about his assumption I’d meet the family. Were they going to come here? How was that going to go?
Hey Ma and Nicole, sorry Kai can’t come to you. The thought of leaving his apartment makes him want to vomit. Can you visit?

“Of course, go ahead.”

“Awesome.” He backtracked to the door, still watching me. “And then I’ll…get a hotel or something? There’s one down the road.”

“Don’t be stupid. You’re staying here.”

That faint curve reappeared on Garrett’s lips again and he didn’t stop it from becoming a full smile. “You sure?”

“I’m positive.”

“I’ll make it worth your while.” Garrett’s eyes flicked over me. “As soon as I carb up, I’m ready for round two.”

“Or…one and a half?”

Garrett flipped me off, laughing silently, and left the room.

Once I heard the shower start, I released a slow exhale. I would not think about the complications that would inevitably crop up in the future. I would not think about meeting his family. Garrett was here now, and I was going to focus on that. Pretend this was our cocoon and no one would come in, and it would never unravel. That was the only way I could protect myself.

Garrett

We spent two days covered in each other’s sweat.

There was no way to know how long it would take to make up for the hours we’d spent speaking to each other from a distance of over seven thousand miles, but we tried. And kept very odd hours.

There was no sleeping on the first night. Scavenging for food turned into sex on his kitchen floor, which led to naked peanut butter sandwiches. Talking about everything and nothing took us through the morning before we fell asleep in the early afternoon. There started a cycle of ordering a lunch and dinner combo, fucking off and on for hours, and cuddling, watching television, or talking way into the morning.

It was simple and perfect and everything I’d hoped. Everything I’d dreamed of.

He went through his apartment and told me all about how he painted all the rooms a different color, and I had to admit, I loved the brightness of his apartment. It suited him.

But on the third day real life came calling. My mom began texting me links to job openings at diesel plants, and Kai remembered his bread-and-butter.

“Shit! I haven’t been on Twitch in two days.”

“Oh, damn. I completely forgot.”

Kai leapt out of bed and grabbed a flannel button-down and a pair of black pants. “Shit, shit, shit. They probably think I’m dead.”

“Isn’t that a little dramatic?”

“No.” Kai hopped up and down as he jerked skintight pants up over his round ass. “Wouldn’t you have been worried if I’d gone AWOL?”

“Good point.” His schedule had been predictable, which was how I’d so easily shifted from playing
FWO
in every spare moment to staring at his face. Every day he’d have a morning and evening session, with some surprises here and there. “What are you going to play?”

“I have alpha access to this game.”

“Which one?”

“A Legend’s Walk
. It’s this brand new MMO that focuses on, like, the lore of a hero I guess? Basically, you get to make choices and everything you do influences your character’s legend. Eventually, your story is supposed to weave together with the overall lore of the game but we’ll see if they can actually implement that.” Kai plopped down on his high-backed office chair and spun toward his gaming station in the corner of his bedroom. He had an L-shaped desk covered with various gadgets, three monitors, and a top-notch gaming keyboard. His PC tower was also a monster. It was so vented that I could see the glowing red lights of the fan through the slats. “I was supposed to be playing that shit all week, which is bad since the devs gave me access. They want my gameplay on their YouTube channel.”

“Aren’t you special?”

“Oh, I am,” he said with a little bit of pride. I loved hearing the confidence in his voice. “Once I got over several thousand subscribers, people started paying attention to the little gaymer boy.” Kai put on his headset. “It’s kind of cool, honestly. It started out in this asshole way—like people were shocked a queer could competitively play video games, but now I get real respect and I’m getting paid to do something I love.”

And he was lucky for it. Very few people could say the same.

I swiped my boxer briefs from the floor and lifted my hips to slide them on. “Do you want me to go hang out in the other room, or can I watch?”

“You can totally watch. I haven’t even made a character yet, so it will be cool. Maybe you’ll like it.”

Even though he was giving me permission, I could tell the idea made Kai nervous. He was sitting on the edge of his chair with his feet kicking out in front of him, and kept glancing at me with a tight little smile. To make it less nerve-wracking, I lay back down on the bed and played with my phone while only half paying attention to him. I didn’t look up again until I knew he’d connected to Twitch.

“Hey guys! Sorry about my
mysterious absence.
Real life stuff came up.” There was a pause as Kai skimmed the flood of messages scrolling up the Chat box. “Haha, yes KrayGirl. My real life stuff was my delivery service running out of coffee and ice cream.”

Kai’s posture relaxed. He crossed his legs under him and logged into
A Legend’s Walk
on one monitor while reading Chat on a monitor that had been turned vertical and was set in tall mode.

“Did CherryCakes and Garvy treat you guys well?” Kai asked, mentioning his moderators. “Ooh, Garvy to the rescue. My hero.”

I rolled my eyes. Garvy was one of the little fuckers who’d always toed the line between Kai Supporter/Mod and Infatuated Fan. I’d stalked the dude’s profile and found he was a flaxen haired surfer from SoCal with an amazing body and bright green eyes that looked like contacts. He claimed to be straight, but I wasn’t buying it. The dude was way too fond of Kai, and not in a bromance-y way.

Ending my lame attempt at downloading all the apps on my newly reactivated cell phone, I sat up and squinted at the tall screen.

Kai’s hand shot up. “Errr. Stuff?”

Ha. Clearly he’d not been prepared for commentary on his sex hair and the hickies I’d ungraciously covered him with. It wasn’t something I typically got a kick out of, but it’d been part of an ongoing joke about branding each other. Kai had started it. He was convinced I was some hot stud soldier who attracted the masses everywhere I went. If only he knew. People generally avoided making eye contact once they realized I was always this expressionless.

Garvy: hmmm…

“Why’s he so worried about your fucking hair?”

Kai snorted, but his shoulders shook with silent laughter. “Anyhoo, today I’m going to alpha test
ALW.
Or for the noobz,
A Legend’s Walk.
I got access from Cykronic the other day, but
mysterious circumstances
caused me to, err, promptly forget about it. Sorry, Cykronic! I’m all over it now!”

The Cykronic logo spun on Kai’s primary screen, and I stood up to get a closer look at the game. The opening sequence had beautiful graphics and displayed a montage of gorgeous game locations that reminded me of the
Game of Thrones
opening theme. When the character creation screen loaded, I’d moved right next to the desk. The graphics were epic, and I loved the way Kai could zoom in to analyze every aspect of the character’s body and face.

“So, there’s five different classes,” Kai told Chat. “The typical scruffy looking Human, an elf-like nymph,” he said flicking to a slight fae-looking creature with a sensual posture. “A dryad, which is basically a plant creature who has awesome health bonuses, a demigod, or a dragon. The awesome thing about this game is that it’s not gendered. You can just design them the way you want them to look without assigning male or female.”

My eyes flicked to Chat and, to my surprise, there were no cries of overly PC gaming devs like I’d find on any other gaming forum. It was impressive, and spoke to the culture Kai had helped cultivate in his channel. Without thinking, I moved behind him and rested my hands on his shoulders to give a squeeze.