Stroke Of Fear (4 page)

   “I was asleep, Jake.
Cassie told you I was.”

   He glances over at me, his brown eyes wide.
Don’t look him in the eyes. It’s like looking at Puss In Boots when he’s little eyes are all round and pathetic.
“I was just making sure you’re okay. I mean…you kind of had a hard day yesterday. I’m really sorry for throwing you off. I didn’t know.”

   Of course he d
idn’t.
He barely knows anything about me. And we’ve been off and on for four fucking years. In his defense, I didn’t tell him. But, my mind bobs back to Tanner. He knew
without
me saying a damn word.

“It’s okay,” I lie.

   Cassie hums the Jeopardy theme song under her breath until I feel something touch the side of my head. “What the…?” I glance back. The blond boy from the assembly this morning is standing behind me, his hand running along my hair.

“Excuse you,” I snap.

   He laughs. He must be the oldest camper here.
Seventeen?
“Hi, lovely. I saw you checking me out from the stage today. I’m turning eighteen in a month. You and me should get together. Like gorillas.”

  
What. The. Hell. Gorillas?

“Hey, back off, kid,” Jake says, shooing him away with his hand.

   “My name is Austin. You can call me anything. Or just call me.” He winks.

   “I don’t date underage children.”

   “Told you, eighteen in a month.”

  
Cassie is laughing hysterically underneath her breath. Jake stands, towering over him. “Get lost, kid. I won’t say it again.”

   Austin is wiggling his eyebrows up and down when he suddenly stops.

   “Leave her alone.” I follow his gaze to Tanner. I take a sharp breath in without thinking about it.
Holy Fuck
. How does he make that camp uniform look so damn sexy? The blue polo is tight around his chest and arms. The khakis hang lowly on his hips, leaving you wondering what her looks like underneath them. His jaw is tight but then his eyes dart toward mine.
Shit, he saw me looking.
A smile crawls dangerously slow up one side of his strong jaw.

  
Bastard.

   “We’ve got this taken care of,” Jake snaps. “Back off.”

   Tanner laughs. “No, you don’t. This is my little brother, Austin. And believe me, he wasn’t goin’ away anytime soon.”

   Austin
smiles. “Dude’s right. I wasn’t budging.”

   Jake clenches his jaw. I can feel the heat radiating off of him.

   “Go sit down, now,” Tanner says.

  
Austin rolls his eyes and motions for me to call him.

   
Cassie starts laughing out loud as soon as he leaves. “He’s kin to you? I don’t see a resemblance at all.”

   “Half-brother. We have the same Mom but different Dads.
He lives here in California.”

   Jake chu
cks a piece of bread down on his plate. “How precious. You’re coming to camp with your little brother.”

  
The small smile is back, and it’s amusement. His gray eyes dart toward mine. He holds my gaze. I don’t dare look away. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of him knowing I’m uncomfortable or that I’ve been checking him out. He winks and then he turns and walks away. I bite the inside of my cheek, hard. I want to throw my spaghetti at him.

  
Cassie nudges me underneath the table but I keep my head down.

   “I can’t fucking stand that asshole,” Jake mumbles.

  
You and me both.

***

   The soccer field is set up just outside of the gym. Cassie and I set up cones and get the bag of balls scattered onto the field.

   “Damn it, I didn’t realize this was going to be so much work,”
Cassie huffs out, blowing her bangs from her forehead.

   “You didn’t think being a camp counselor for the summer would be work?”

   She shrugs. “It looked like a good idea at the time.” She tugs the bag to the side and then kicks it.

   “What did that bag ever do to you?”

   Turning around, I see Austin standing with his foot placed on top of a soccer ball. His blond hair is messy, and he has this grin that would make any sixteen-year-old girl swoon.

  
Cassie rolls her eyes. “Why don’t you make yourself useful and start to put some more cones down?”

   Screwing his lips upwards, he kicks the ball and starts to bounce it off of his knee.
“Isn’t that your job?”

   Rolling my eyes, I turn and go over our clipboard.
Damn it.
He’s with us for this activity. “Hey, Blondie, you’re the one that fell into the water, right?”

   I turn on my heel. “How do you know about that?”

   He snorts. “Everyone knows about that. It’s not a big deal.”

  
He has no idea
. I point toward the field. “Go get ready, before I get you kicked out of our activities for the summer.”

   “Oh, so touchy. Don’t be mad, I’ll give you some sugar if you ask. That’s if my brother doesn’t give it to you first.”

   I gasp. He runs off to the field laughing. “That little bastard.”

  
Cassie laughs. I give her my best
shut the hell up
glare. “Oh, come on. You know the kid is cute.”

   “He knows it, too,” I mumble.

    Cassie groans. “Shit, here come the kids. Let’s get this over with.”

***

    Cassie is still out with Eric when I tuck myself into bed. Who knows what the hell they’re doing? Well, I’m pretty sure I know what they’re doing. They just met this morning and they’re already running off to make-out in some secluded spot. A small rap of knuckles hit against our cabin door, and I jump.

  
I can’t help it, but my heart starts pounding.
Who in the hell could it be?
“Who is it?”

   “Me.”

  
Shit.
Rolling my eyes, I uncover myself and open the door for Jake. He’s leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed. A tight, white shirt stretches over his chest and down his thick arms.

   Looking up at me through dark, thick lashes, he asks, “Can I come in? Or are you going to make me stay out here?”

   I cross my arms over my chest, realizing I don’t have a bra on. Not that Jake hasn’t seen me naked before, he has, plenty of times. But, not now. Not in weeks. “You want the real answer to that?”

   He sighs, and kicks off the door. “You don’t need to be alone. Let me in, please. Just for a little bit and I’ll leave you alone.”

   “It’s against the rules.”

   Reaching past me, he opens the door for himself. Sighing, I shut and lock it behind him.

“I think your cabin is bigger than ours.” Walking around, he runs his fingers over my bedspread. “It smells like you. I’ll never forget that smell. Lavender. Flowery. It makes me remember our first month of dating. We’d lay on your bed, tangled up with each other and kiss until those pouty lips were swollen.”

   Heat flushes my cheeks. Suddenly the floor seems very interesting.

   “What’s happened to us?” I hear, then feel his hands wrap around my shoulders and move toward the crease in my elbow. “I miss you, Aubrey.”

  
I miss me, too.
“I do, too.”

   Pulling me closer, he wraps his hands around my lower back. “Then let’s give it a shot again. Let’s fall in love again.”

   Tears. Damn it, they’re threatening to fall down my face. “I’m not ready, Jake. Not yet. I just… I need some time to myself.”

  
He growls and retracts his hands. “Is this still about the water incident? I mean… I apologized. I had no idea you were afraid of the water. I had no idea you would almost drown, Aubrey.”

   “Exactly. You had no idea. If you knew me just a little you’d know what h
—” My voice cuts off. I can’t tell him. It doesn’t feel right. The conversation feels forced.

   “What? What happened?” Jake takes a
nother step toward me, closing the rest of the distance. The heavy smell of his
AXE
spray tingles my nose. It’s so familiar. So approachable.

   Shaking my head, I wrap my hands over my chest. “It’s nothing. I don’t want to talk about it. I’m sore from the
fall. I’m tired from today, and I want to go to sleep.”

   Jake runs his fingers through his
dark blond hair. “Can we give it another try? I’ll give you a week or so, and then we can see where we’re at? Please? You won’t regret it.”

   Pressing my toe into a spot on the hardwood, I shrug. “I guess. But, I need space until then. I need time.”

   Jake smiles and presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “Okay, baby. Lock the door when I leave. If you need anything call me. Text me. Just please come to me if you need anything.”

  
I nod so he’ll leave, then shut the door behind him. I click the lock and scoot back into my bed. The warmth settles my nerves and before I know it, I’m drifting off into a dark abyss.

***

  
The wind from the water was cold. So cold. Freezing, actually. My fingers laced over the edge of a railing. A railing I knew all too well. As if on schedule, my breath started to come in quick, hard jabs.  The cool air formed an invisible weight against my chest.

   “Oh, Aubrey. That hair. I’ve always
loved to touch those golden locks.”

   No. My mouth was wide open, but something kept
any words from forming on my lips. It was his erection poking into my lower back. I felt it pressing harder, harder. A silent scream ripped from my throat. I imagined it filling the air, imagined someone hearing me. Helping me. Rescuing me.

   “Oh, Aubrey. I’m going to finish the job this time. You won’t wake. You won’t have to dream anymore
,” a hoarse, familiar voice, whispered in my ear.

   Something was tied
tightly around my wrist, bounding me together, again. I yanked and pulled, but it didn’t budge. I was trapped. My hands surrendered, my body capitulated. It was happening again. Not again. He couldn’t be out. He couldn’t be here.

   My silent voice made
its appearance and my voice wrecked through the air. It was too late. I was moving closer to the edge. I screwed my eyes shut. Don’t open them. Don’t look into the eyes of your killer—into the eyes of your death.

   “Open them, Aubrey. See what’s in store for you.”

   The rough hands that were wrapped around me released, and I fled—falling down toward the water below. But when I opened my eyes this next time, I wasn’t on the bridge. There was no railing. No concrete structure staring at me. It was woods. A cliff. My screamed echoes through the trees before I was pushed down so far under water that I would never resurface.

Chapter Four

Tanner

I’m getting use to the woods here. It’s not too much different from back home. Just here no one talks with a drawl. It’s all fast and busy. The woods are comforting. When I moved into my brother’s extra room in downtown San Francisco, I knew I was giving up the outdoors. Well,
my
kind of outdoors. This is a great substitute.

   The crickets play a soft tune underneath the sound of the trees blowing in the wind. Then there is the water close by, rustling against the rocks in its way. These two months may not be too bad after all.

   I’m passing the girls’ cabins when I hear a small knock. On the step of Aubrey’s cabin is Asshat. He’s leaning against the doorframe like he owns the fucking place. If I had any sense, I would have knocked the fuck out of him at the cliff.

      “Me,” he says.

      “Asshat,” I mumble underneath my breath. Stepping to the side, into the shadows I watch
. What the hell is happening to me? I’m watching like a fucking stalker.

     Aubrey opens the door
, and I take a large breath in.
Fucking, shit
. Her thin, white tank top is stuck to her breasts. And holy mother if she doesn’t have a bra on.
Christ
. I    press my eyes close and curse underneath my breath.
Why? I’m never going to get that out of my fucking head
. Then she shifts, and I see her short pajama bottoms.
Torture
. My dick moves in my jeans, urging me to walk over there and rip off the little clothing she has on.