Stripping Asjiah II (9 page)

“One hundred forty -eight…one hundred forty- nine…”
“We need to talk.” Leaning against the bars, Gabriel waited for him to finish his set.
“One fifty.” Dusting his hands, Angel got up from the cold concrete. “What‟s up?”
“I got some news for you.”
“News about what?”
“LT,”
“And, what about him?”
“Dog, I don‟t know if I should tell you.” Gabe ran his hand through his already messy hair and pondered briefly over what he was about to say.
“Then what the fuck did you bring it up for?” The corners of Angel‟s mouth turned up as he twisted his lips.
Looking over his shoulder he made sure no one was listening before he continued. “I overheard him talking to Stacey on the phone.”
“What?”
“Stacey nigga, I don‟t know what they were talking about before I walked over there but she must‟ve told him she was pregnant cause right after he blurted that shit out, he punched the wall.”
Gabriel watched as Angel put his fingers to his temples and slowly began to rotate them as if he was trying to massage the image of LT and Stacey out of his mind.
“You alright man?”
The look on his friends face made Gabe shutter. He was expecting him to start throwing things, or rush out of the cell, to go find LT and beat the shit out of him but instead he stretched out on his bunk and started laughing.
“First he tries to kill me and A‟, now he‟s gotten my girl pregnant?
This
nigga‟s ill.” Angel became somewhat hysterical as Gabe stared at him puzzled.
“When I grow up, I wanna have balls the size of his.”
“What you want me to do about it?” Gabe‟s adrenaline began to pump as he thought of all the ways he could make LT suffer.
“Nothing,”
“Nothing?”
Complacent, Angel sat up and suddenly the smile that had just danced across his smooth dark skin disappeared, “Nah, I got this one.”

10/5/2000, 1:15am
Bullshit…
I can‟t sleep. I don‟t want to go to bed because I‟m afraid the reel that is my brain will finally be put on pause and I‟ll be staring at a memory Idon‟twant to relive.
I know it sounds crazy but I feel like someone is following me; someone meaning Cash.
I keep going over that day in my mind and there‟s no way he could‟ve survived. Even if he was still breathing when I left him, there‟snoway Angel allowed him to live.
So if I know that, why doI stillfeellike he‟sout there? My nightmares have gotten betterbutbeing in this house…walking past her room…up and down these stairs…it reminds me of how helpless I felt, how afraid and weak I was. Everyday I try to push it further and further back into my mind until eventually, hopefully, it‟ll justdisappear.
Am I trying to ignore the fact that it happened?
No. I just choose not to deal with it. Why should I drive myself crazy trying to figure out reasons why this nigga raped me? Why should Isit around trying to understand why my uncle, my mother‟s brother, felt that it was okay to cum all over his nieces face? I‟m sure that dumb ass psychiatrist would tell me “let it out Asjiah, color your feelings” fuck that and fuck you too if you agree with that psycho babble bullshit.
What is crying about it gonna do? It‟s not going to change the fact he went up in me raw now is it? Trust me, its better this way. Bear has been sleeping in my room since I came back home. I knew if anyone came in here unannounced he would defend me. He was very protective of me and Angel, and in some ways I think he knew that my mother was gone. He was her dog after all.
Her…
I wish she was here. I miss her terribly, some days more than others. I definitely could‟ve used her support today. I still can‟t believe I was about to abort my child. Where would I be if my mother would‟ve chosen not to have me?What would my life have been like if I had been born to some other family? Would they have loved me more than the parents I have now?
Yes I know I said “have” and that‟s because I don‟t refer to my mother in the past tense. I refuse to acknowledge her death, that may sound crazy to you but I really don‟t give a fuck. Admitting she‟s gone means I would have to say goodbye and I‟m not doing that.
It‟s been ten years since I‟ve seen or spoken to my father and regardless of if I choose to ignore him for the rest of my life, the truth is, he‟s stillalive.
If I had been raised by someone else, would my outcome be any different than what it is now? Would I have still been raped? Would Angel have still been beaten?
I can‟t answer any of those questions but if my circumstances were anything other than what they are, Iwouldn‟t have known her and although we only spent eight years together, Iwouldn‟t trade it for the world. Those were the best eight years of my life. I can only hope to be the mother she was and still is to me. I just wish we could experience my pregnancy together…
Marie didn‟t blink an eye when I came home. Ididn‟t really give her the opportunity to question me but knowing her, I‟m sure she would find a way to quiz me later. I thought she would‟ve showed more concern, I mean hell, I‟ve been gone for a minute but I suppose that‟s what I get for thinking because it was clear that she didn‟t care. A normal parent, guardian, or whatever the hell you want to call her, would‟ve asked if I was okay, if I wanted to perhaps talk about the things that happened recently, but no, not her. Intimate discussions weren‟t herthing, compassion wasn‟t her forte and more importantly this entire setupwas far from “normal”.

CJ has left at least fifteen voicemails. I‟m really not on him right now. You would think he would take the hint and just stop calling but he obviously isn‟t that smart. I can‟t believe he told that bitch Corey that I was pregnant. Was he calling her while we were at the clinic? I was about to murder our child and he was probably on the phone sweet talking that raggedy bitch.
If I wasn‟t pregnant I‟d drive down to the Valley right now and fuck her up. Not because of CJ, nah, I‟d beat her ass for disrespecting me. I mean, the bitch clearly lacks self respect; what kind of woman chases behind another nigga that has a baby on the way?
I guess I could pose the same question to his ass. What kind of „man‟ was he to keep fucking around when we‟re about to have a child?
More importantly, what kind of dumb ass was I to believe all hi s lies?
I thought they were done. After Miami I just knew that he had left her alone and that things between us were going back to normal. It couldn‟t have been any further from the truth. What was it about this girl that kept making him go back to her? Seriously, I mean did sparks shoot out her pussy when she came? Did she squirt platinum or piss diamonds? She had to be taking it up the ass, what else could it be?
She must‟ve been calling him to see if I had gone through with the abortion. The nerve of this broad; and then he had the audacity to accuse me of fucking Money? Really?

I hadn‟t seen him since we had dinner at his house. Where was he? Was he okay? Wait a minute, why did it matter? He hadn‟t returned any of my phone calls or tried to call me so fuck him too. All that suave shit he was talking last summer about how he always had a thing for me, how he wanted me to be his girl, “I‟ma take care of you A‟, if you were mines you wouldn‟t have to worry about shit A‟…blah, blah, blah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was on some bullshitjust like Christian‟s ass.
Still, a part of me believed that when I really needed him, he would be there. As bad as it may sound, I was hoping that he would come and rescue me from the clinic; that all of a sudden I would hear his voice and everything would be okay. I was expecting him to appear like some knight in shining armor to whisk me away from the evil baby murderers.
Ha! I‟m bugging out…
Just when I was letting him get close to me he disappeared. Niggas. He could kick rocks right along with CJ.

It seemed like a lot of people had vanished since last summer and now they were all starting to reappear like ghosts or bandaged up mummies like Keyshia‟s ass. What the fuck had shedone to land her in intensive care? It was obvious that she was still up to her old tricks and someone had caught her slipping or eitherwasn‟t falling for the okie-doke that she ran on these other lames and decided to beat her ass.
What threw me was her momma accusing me of being the reason why she was in there. Hell, for all I knew itcould‟ve been one of the many men she used to fuck with that finally decided to see if her daughter was a chip off the ol‟block.
I sympathized with her in the manner that I didn‟t want to see her all stitched up like that and in so much pain but on the other hand I told herto slow down. You can‟t keep running red lights and expect not to get hit.
And who the hell was this Danielle chic? How much truth did her story hold? How did I know she wasn‟t involved?How did I know that wasn‟t her man that she bumped into in the hallway and that‟s the reason why she refused to identify him? It would all make sense if she was the scorned girlfriend and wanted to get back at her boyfriends bust down.
They both could‟ve been part of the scheme. And what was up with him calling her while we were eating? What was he saying on the other end of the phone? What if he was calling just to see if Keyshia was alive, maybe Daniellewas supposed to make sure shedidn‟t live so she couldn‟t name them as suspects. She was too jumpy, too on edge and something about her didn‟t add up. I didn‟t trust her. It was going to take more than her calling the ambulance to get on my good side.

If there‟sanything I learned thispast summer, itwas to watch your friends closer than you did your enemies; your enemies may have the gun, but your friends are going to be the ones that hand them the bullets.

I closed my journal and stretched. After wrapping my hair and changing my clothes I decided to lay it down for the night. I placed my head phones on my stomach and set In a Sentimental Mood by Duke Ellington and John Coltrane on repeat.

I read somewhere that music was good for a child‟s development so I guess baby Jai was off to a good start. Besides, Love Jones was one of my favorite movies, a classic. I could have the next Darius Lovehall or Nina Mosley growing inside of me.

“Sign in , along with your name and the inmates CDC number. You can take up to $20.00 in singles, along withyour car keys and I.D.” The burly C.O watched as Stacey complied with her instructions.

“Make sure you empty your pockets. Everything needs to be in a clear plastic bag so that it‟s in plain view to the officers in the visitation room.”

Stacey walked through the metal detector and into another small doorway as she waited for them to unlock the next door. Looking around she turned her nose up at the other females that were standing beside her. From the way they were dressed, most of them were probably coming to see their baby daddies, boyfriends, or like the big girl to her left; her pen pal.

Decked out in skin tight Akademiks jeans, a brown sweater and matching knee high boots it looked as if Stacey was coming to visit an incarcerated lover as well but LT was far from that. To her he was just a means to an end; the end being her money troubles. If she had to dress up and play the role just to get him to tell her where his stash was at; then so be it.

A loud buzz followed by a deafening clanging noise startled the women as they trotted through the door like cattle.

“Sign your name and take a seat anywhere you‟d like.” Another manly looking woman barked orders at her from behind the desk.

After finding somewhere to sit, it wasn‟t long before she felt LT‟s hands on her shoulders.
“Shit, you look good as hell.” Grinning from ear to ear he waited for her to stand up. “Can I get a hug?”
Although she didn‟t want to be anywhere near him she had to admit prison life had been kind to him. He was clean shaven and had a fresh line up. Whoever the fairy was that played prison barber was doing a very good job.
Stacey sighed softly to herself and extended her arms to welcome his embrace. She wasn‟t expecting the tingling sensation that went through her body causing her clit to pulsate as he hugged her tightly. She couldn‟t see through the plain, blue oxford shirt but she could feel the results of him hitting the bench as he held her.
Palming her ass, LT kissed her roughly on the lips before releasing her and pulling up a chair.
“I didn‟t think you were gonna come.”
“I wasn‟t.” Folding her arms, she tried not to make eye contact with him.
“C‟mon girl, don‟t act like that. You can sit here and be all hard if you want to but you practically melted when I kissed you.” Licking his lips, he smiled revealing deep dimples in both his cheeks.
Stacey shook her head and tried to get her mind right. “Why did you want to see me?”
“I needed you to tell me to my face if you were pregnant or not.”
“I told you over the phone.”
“So you should have no problem saying it again. Don‟t get shy now.”
Stacey thought for a minute before she spoke. She knew her answer would determine the outcome of how things played out. She knew LT had a thing for her since day one. Yeah, she had flirted with him too, but it was harmless fun. She never expected to fuck him, and it‟s not because she didn‟t want to, had he been some regular dude they would‟ve got it in a long time ago but he was Angel‟s cousin.
He always seemed to be in competition with Angel and because of that he could very well take pleasure in the pain it would cause him to see his main chic walking around carrying another nigga‟s baby, his cousin‟s baby at that. But then he might ask for ultrasound pictures and she would have to find a way to make herself look as if she was gaining weight with each trimester.
She needed to step lightly. Proceed with caution. She just needed to milk him long enough to get her over until Angel came home.
But what if he decided to take his chances and he didn‟t care whether or not Angel knew? That was a risk she wasn‟t willing to take. If Angel found out, she was certain there would be a price on her head, if it came down to it, she would just lie and tell Angel that the baby was his. Stacey took a deep breath and decided to roll the dice.
“Well, are you carrying my seed or not?”
Playing with her hands she kept her head down long enough to make her eyes water before she looked up at him, “Yes.”
LT was silent for a minute while he allowed her words to marinate.
“Shit.” Wiping his forehead, he then cleared the beads of sweat that had formed around his nose.
She tried to study his expression but he was blank. The cheery disposition he had when he initially said hi to her was gone. It seemed like hours passed between them before he finally spoke.
“How much does that shit cost?” Patting his pockets he acted as though he was going to hand her the money right there, “Four, five hundred dollars?”
“Fuck you.”
Squeezing her thigh LT snickered, “That seems to be all you know how to do princess.”
“I‟m not getting an abortion.”
“Oh but you are.”
Realizing she would have to take this all the way Stacey mentally blew on the dice and rolled them again.
“It‟s too late for me to get an abortion. I‟m too far along, no doctor will touch me.”
“Then do that shit yourself.” LT‟s eyes were dark as coal as he stared back at her emotionless.
“Do it myself? Are you fucking serious?” Stacey quicklyput her coat on and got up, “I‟ll make sure to send Angel the ultrasound picture and let him know that it‟s yours.”
“Sit yo‟ ass down.” Grabbing her wrist he yanked her back into the plastic chair. “You ain‟t gonna do shit. Wanna know why?”
She snatched her arm away and turned her back to him.
“If you tell Angel what went down he‟s gonna put two and two together. Yeah, he may buy the whole I raped you bit for a second but then he‟s gonna realize that the only person who could‟ve told me about his connect was you. And then what do you think your dark knight is gonna do?”
Stacey‟s defeat began to settle in as her eyes started to create real tears.
“What‟s wrong baby girl?” LT‟s chair made a screeching noise as he slid it across the floor so that he was sitting directly in front of her.
“What, did you think I was gonna take care of you? Did you think I was gonna wife you once you told me you were pregnant? You didn‟t think I really liked you did you?”
“You weren‟t shit to me but a nut, a pretty piece of garbage that Angel dressed up in expensive, designer labels. I just wanted to see what that shit was hitting for, if it was as good as I thought it was.”
Stacey sat in silence as she tried to think of something to say but the only thoughts she was having were those of shame and humiliation. She had driven all the way up here thinking that her pussy would prevail and that he would succumb to her needs but instead she had stepped in an arena where there was no room for little girls and childish games. This wasn‟t the sandbox and she was no longer in kindergarten trading kisses for Twinkies, the stakes were much higher and unfortunately for her, she had just crapped out.