StripperwithSpice (23 page)

Maybe I shouldn’t have come. I feel almost as jumpy as I did
the first night at the Stallion Palace. Why am I so insecure tonight? Probably
because I risked my job. In fact my damning photo might already be in Harriet’s
in-box. Taking a slow, deep breath, I watch the stage. Let the damn show be
over already. I just need to feel Carlos’ arms around me. Then everything will
be all right.

As soon as the curtain closes for the last time, I’m out of
my seat and racing toward the stage. A burly native with crossed arms blocks my
path.

“Do you have a backstage pass, miss?”

“Well, no. Carlos doesn’t know I’m coming, but I’m his
girlfriend.”

He shakes his head. “No pass, no backstage.”

“But I need to see him. I flew all the way down here from
Washington, DC, today. Did I tell you I’m his girlfriend?”

The man’s scowl deepens. “That’s what they all say.”

What? Is the entire world against me this week? First Tiffin
and now this.

I take a deep breath to calm myself. “Then can’t you get
Carlos to come out here? Please?”

“I’m not authorized to do that.”

Gritting my teeth, I try to sneak around him, but he grabs
me by the back of the shirt and pulls a walkie-talkie out of his pocket with
the other hand. Great. I’m about to get arrested in a foreign country. That
should do wonders for what’s left of my job.

“Let me go,” I plead with him.

When he does, I waste no time sticking around. I go outside
the building, seeking a doorway near the backstage area. It’s dark and
streetlamps cast circles of light on the black pavement. My thong sandals keep
tripping me up so I take them off and carry them, ignoring the prick of gravel
under my feet.

Carlos, where in the hell are you? Can’t you feel I’m
here, trying so hard to reach you?

Muted voices drift across the warm, velvety air, which is
heavy with the scent of tropical flowers. Oh I’m in luck. I’ll just ask the
people where he is. Unlike the bouncer, the other dancers know I’m his girlfriend.
After I turn the corner, a man—standing with his back to me—comes into view.
Despite the darkness, I notice familiar hair, black and glossy, glittering in
the breeze.

“C—” My throat muscles contract, ready to shout his name but
something stops me. An invisible hand I don’t understand holds me in place and
stifles my voice. The strange feeling I’ve had ever since I’ve arrived
intensifies to the point of excruciation.

Something isn’t right.

The man turns a bit and someone else comes into view.
Fragments of her come to me in pieces, one at a time. A slender female arm
around his back. Long-nailed fingers digging through his hair. Long
reddish-blonde hair. Scarlet lips, kissing the man. Kissing… My man, Carlos.

When my mind finally assembles the pieces into the entire
picture, I jump as if stabbed. Carlos is kissing someone else.

My mouth forms a scream that never comes out. Instead I drop
my sandals and run.

* * * * *

In my hotel room, I lie facedown on the bed. The bright
coral-and-aqua flowers printed on the bedspread fail to brighten my mood.
Frigid air-conditioning pours over me because I lowered the thermostat,
desperate to eradicate the memory of balmy night air from my mind.

I refuse to cry. Instead I shake as dozens of claws inside
my body tear into me. That was no table dance. Fooling around with other women
outside the club floor is against the rules, but hasn’t he always said how much
he hates rules and likes to break them?

How could I have been stupid enough to trust him?

Spontaneity sucks. Instead of surprising him, I got the
surprise of my life. I wish I’d never come here, but at least now I know the
truth.

A text message from Carlos comes through on my phone, asking
what room I’m in. I have no idea how he knows I’m here unless he saw me. My fingers
hesitate before entering the number. When I’m done, I crawl back onto the bed
and wait.

When I hear a knock on my door, my heart drops in my chest.
Although my calf muscles contract, I don’t get up.

“Janice, open up. It’s Carlos.”

I sit up and put my hand to my mouth. He probably has some
lame excuse. We might as well break up here and now instead of waiting until we
get home. I want to make sure I won’t have a chance to change my mind later.

On wobbly legs, I walk toward the door and open it. He spills
through it, dressed in the turquoise linen shirt, white shorts and brown
leather sandals I saw him in earlier. In the brighter light, the turquoise is
more vivid and his hair is darker than ever. My traitorous eyes glide down his
tan, toned legs.

He looks fantastic in summer clothes, but these aren’t the
colors he usually wears. It’s as if I’m gazing at a stranger with his face.
Knowing I’ll never see my old Carlos again sets off a deeper trembling in my
belly. I never should have opened that door.

“Janice! One of the guys said he saw you running through the
parking lot. You should have told me you were coming.”

Before he can touch me, I cross my arms and back away
several steps. “And ruin your fun? It’s pretty obvious you weren’t expecting
me.”

He frowns. “What are you talking about? Why do you look so
angry?”

“Who is she, Carlos? Why were you hugging and kissing her?”
I hold up a hand. “On second thought, I don’t think I really want to know.”

His jaw clenches and unclenches as realization streaks
across his face.

“Hear me out, okay?” He holds his hands up in the same old
placation gesture, but it’s not going to work this time. “That girl is someone
I had a one-night stand with when we did the show here last year.”

“You get around, don’t you?”

What did I ever see in this player? He can’t keep his cock
in his pants for two minutes. If he expects to have make-up sex with me, he’ll
be disappointed.

“Incidentally she was the last girl I slept with…until you.”

I frown, unsure if this piece of information makes me feel
better or worse. The irony is kind of creepy. He did tell me on our first real
date he hadn’t done it in a year. At least he’s good at keeping his lies
straight.

“I didn’t know she’d be here,” he continues. “Apparently she
pined away for me all year. I realized what a shit I was for hurting her so I
tried to let her down easy.”

His voice sounds more honeyed than ever, but its magic
doesn’t work on me this time.

“You could have done that with words instead of your lips,”
I comment.

“She started crying so I hugged her. That’s when she tried
to kiss me.”

I snort. “Tried? You were in full-blown liplock from where I
was standing.”

“I should have pushed her away immediately, but I couldn’t
seem to move. It was like I was paralyzed or something.” He bows his head and
scrubs his face with his fingers. “For what it’s worth, I didn’t enjoy it and I
couldn’t wait to get away from her.”

“Do you honestly expect me to believe that?” I ask.

He enunciates each word. “It’s the truth.”

Numbness and fiery anger compete in my body, making my
muscles tremble. “And what about the next one and one after that? I have enough
competition at work. Damn it, Carlos, I won’t compete for you too.”

“You don’t have to. Janice—”

“I’m glad I came here.” I barely recognize the steely voice
that comes out of my mouth as my own.

“You are?”

I turn to gaze out the window at some palm trees lit from
below. “Yeah, because now I know what you really are and that it could never
work between us.”

He rushes toward me and grabs my arms. “Don’t do this. Don’t
give up on me.”

My body surges, eager to find its usual spot in his arms.
His unique scent wraps around me with invisible cords. Careful not to look into
dark eyes that threaten to swallow me up, I manage to turn out of his grip.

“Carlos, I don’t ever want to see you again. It’s over.”

“Think of everything we’ve shared. I love you.”

Don’t say that. You can’t possibly mean it. A man like
you isn’t capable of it.

I stare out the window again, anxious to be home. A
sliding-glass door rumbles nearby. Hopefully the other occupants of this hotel
are having more fun right now than I am.

“I’m actually relieved,” I reply. “That silly fantasy had to
end eventually. I should have done this a long time ago.”

“I’m going to let you cool off.” He walks toward the door.
“We’ll talk when we get home.”

I don’t say a word as he closes the door and walks out of my
life. When I get on the bed again, I cry this time. I cry until the pillow
under my face is wet enough to float in the turquoise ocean outside.

Why didn’t I just have a one-night stand with him as I’d
originally planned? A relationship with that kind of man would never have
worked. If I’d listened to my analytical mind instead of letting lust and
emotion carry me away, I would have realized that. It’s better I find out now
instead of later, possibly finding him in bed with someone else. That would
really have killed me.

Damn him. Damn him for hurting me and damn me for being
stupid enough to let him.

* * * * *

As soon as I get to the office the following afternoon,
Harriet summons Tiffin and me into her office. A cold wind buffets the office
building, making the walls rattle. My boss has her black turtleneck on today,
which usually means either someone died or she’s seriously pissed off about
something. I hope the beige cashmere sweater and long skirt I wear today
project the right corporate image and will help me fly under the radar.

Crap.
Did Tiffin show her the picture of me licking
champagne from Carlos’ chest? If the little twit didn’t look so uneasy, I’d
assume she had.

I rushed here from the airport, hoping to salvage what’s
left of my job. When I went to pay for my room this morning, I discovered
Carlos had already done it.

I cross my fingers in my lap. Coming home to my job is the
only thing that kept me from bawling on the plane this morning. In fact I’m
ready to dig in and do double overtime to keep my mind off my loss.

The manager of human resources walks in and closes the door.
Then my boss looks at us with a wooden face and sighs heavily. Uh-oh. This can’t
be good.

“Janice, Tiffin, I’m letting both of you go.”

Ice-white shock pours through my blood, numbing my entire
body as snatches of the past churn in my mind—a piece of pink paper crinkling
in my hand,
We’re letting you go…go…go…

Tiffin’s jaw drops but not half as far as mine. Damn her.
She must have shown the picture after all. A picture of me with a man who is no
longer a part of my life.

Harriet looks at me. “Janice, we have a certain image to
uphold here at Trendler Trust. When employees are photographed doing illegal
or…lewd activities, it reflects badly on the firm. After all, some of our
clients are federal agencies.”

Lewd activities…
My numb brain repeats the phrase. I
suppose licking a stripper’s chest could be considered lewd.

Next Harriet turns to my traitorous coworker. “Tiffin, we’re
a team here. As soon as you discovered the photograph on the social media site,
you should have notified me and allowed me to handle it. Instead you went over
my head, circulating the picture to my manager and the CEO.”

She did what?!

“You have both violated the employment agreement,” my boss
declares.

“Did she also tell you she’s the one who took the picture
and posted it to social media?” I ask.

There’s probably nothing I can do to save my job now, but my
boss—ex-boss—should at least know the truth.

Harriet nods and looks up. “Marjorie, take Tiffin to clean
out her desk. Janice, stay here for a minute.”

Before Tiffin gets up, she exchanges a glance with me. It
admits I was right about treachery coming back on her. Small comfort now that
I’m unemployed.

Unemployed.
No, no, no!
This can’t be happening to me
again. I can’t face it this time. All I want to do is curl up under Harriet’s
desk and sob my guts out. It’s too bad my stomach muscles are already sore from
crying over Carlos.

What a waste that was. Now this is something to cry about.

The other woman’s face softens when she looks at me. I even
detect some pity there. “Janice, let this be a lesson to you. Wear a wig when
you go to the strip club.”

I nod and stare at my shoes. “That part of my life is over
anyway.”

If I could press Rewind and not attend Crave-a-thon, I’d
still be secure right now.

“You’ve worked very hard for us and I hate to lose you,”
Harriet continues. “Feel free to use me as a reference.”

“Th-thank you.”

Fired, for the first time in my life. This is even worse
than being laid off.

When it’s my turn to clean things out of my new office, I
glance at Marjorie who stands by the door. “You don’t have to watch me. I’m not
a criminal.”

“It’s company policy.”

I’m thankful she averts her eyes because my hands are
shaking so hard I can hardly pack anything. A smear of red on my calendar tells
me my nail digging this morning has broken a nail and drawn blood.

As I head to the parking lot with a small box under my arm,
I wait for Tiffin to clear out first. Because she’s young, she’ll have a much
easier time getting another job than I will. I throw the box in the passenger
seat of my car and lean my head on the steering wheel, leaking tears all over it.

How can I lose both Carlos and my job in two days? Did the
universe decide it’s time for my life to fall apart? One or the other is enough
to flatten me. Both at once will completely destroy me.

Out of habit, I look at my watch, but what’s the point? I have
nothing left to be on time for. Unbuckling the strap with trembling fingers, I
remove it and toss it in the box next to me.