Strings of the Heart (35 page)

Tears blurred my vision at his sweet words. “Thank you, Bray. That means a lot to me.”

With a wink, Brayden then turned his gaze on Rhys. He wagged his finger at him. “But just know, if you hurt her, you’re going to be dealing with me.”

“And me,” AJ chimed in.

Rhys held up his hands defensively. “Trust me, I know that. But I also know that I’d walk through fire before I’d ever hurt Allison again.”

My heart beat wildly at his response, and I couldn’t resist leaning over and kissing him. When I pulled away, Rhys exhaled a breath in a long whoosh. “Now if we can just get Jake to be okay with us.”

AJ waved his hand dismissively. “You know Jake. He’s always got to go ape-shit and show his ass. But he always comes around.”

Rhys shook his head. “I dunno. Considering the way he feels about Allison, he might hold a pretty long fucking grudge.”

It was at that moment that Abby appeared in the doorway. She crooked her finger at me. I shot off the couch and went sprinting toward her. “Jake thinks he can talk to you now.”

“Okay.” Nervously, I glanced over my shoulder at Rhys. Part of me didn’t want to have to face Jake alone, although I was pretty sure that seeing Rhys would only set him off again.

As we started down the hallway to one of the other dressing rooms, Abby took my hand in hers. “While Jake has promised me he won’t do it, should he start that macho asshole bullshit, you just get up and walk away. You don’t have to listen to that.”

“Um, okay,” I repeated. This was all new territory for me. Up until the last thirty minutes, Jake had never spoken to me so harshly.

Abby smiled. “What I mean is, if he starts in on you like before, don’t take the abuse. Although he’s come a long way in handling his emotions, Jake still doesn’t know how to navigate a situation by thinking things through first, rather than reacting. Make him see that you will not listen to anything else hurtful—he’s said far too much today as it is. If he can’t talk to you tenderly and with brotherly love like he always has, then you won’t listen to him.”

I nodded. “I think that sounds like a good plan.”

When we got to a closed door, Abby pulled me into her arms. Into my ear, she whispered, “He loves you so much, Allison.”

I sniffled, fighting the urge to cry again. “I know he does.”

She patted my back. “Stay strong and stand your ground.”

Bobbing my head in agreement, I then pushed open the door. I knew Jake was expecting me, so there was no need in knocking. Glancing around the room, I saw Jake sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.

“Jake,” I murmured softly.

After jerking his head up, I could see he was still so visibly angry. “Sit,” he ordered, through clenched teeth. At my hesitation, his expression softened slightly. “Please.”

On somewhat shaky legs, I stepped forward and eased down in the chair across from him. He stared down at his hands, taking several long breaths before he spoke. It appeared he was still having trouble keeping his emotions in check, and I’m sure he was trying to weigh his words carefully. But of all the things going through his mind, I never imagined what he finally said.

“I hated you when you were born.”

I gasped at the harshness of the words. He glanced up and gave me a remorseful smile. “I couldn’t help it. In my eyes, you were the reason my parents got divorced. I mean, my mom and dad were trying to work things out after the affair, but then when your mother found out she was pregnant, everything changed. In just a few months, Dad moved out and into a house in Atlanta.” Jake drew in a ragged breath, his hands twisting over and over in his lap. “Being a punk ten-year-old kid, I wouldn’t acknowledge your existence. After you were born, I refused to visit my dad. I didn’t want to be under the same roof as you—the living, breathing symbol of why my mom cried all the time and my life had been turned upside down.”

Tears stung my eyes. Never in my life had I ever doubted Jake’s love. And now here he was acknowledging that he had once hated me. Part of me could understand—I mean, I probably would have felt the same way toward someone who had caused my parents’ divorce. But at the same time, Jake was the big brother I idolized, and I could never, ever accept he had once felt that way about me.

“What changed your mind?” I finally croaked.

“One day my mother sat me down. She told me that regardless of how I felt about my dad and Nancy, you were an innocent in what had happened, and you didn’t deserve my hate. She had never wanted me to be an only child, but she’d barely been able to have me, least of all give me a sibling. She explained that you would need a loving big brother, and that I could benefit from the pure, unselfish love of a little sister.”

Although I never got to know Susan that well, there wasn’t another woman around with such a loving, giving heart. While she had every reason to hate me, Susan had been worried about me enough to try to bridge the gap between her son and me.

“So I finally agreed to visit Dad for the weekend. Mom bought an outfit and some toys for me to give to you.” He shook his head with a wry smile. “The whole drive to Atlanta, while I sat with that damn package on my lap, I fantasized the whole time about rolling the window down and chucking it out onto the interstate.”

A nervous giggle escaped my lips at both his sentiment and the expression on his face. “After Mom dropped me off, Dad and Nancy gave me my space. They didn’t force you on me to start with. Finally after roaming around the house and playing basketball with AJ, curiosity finally got the best of me. I found you in the living room. You were in this frilly bassinet thingy. When I walked over to you, I had a thousand horrible thoughts running through my mind about what harm I’d like to do to you.” At my horrified gasp, Jake grimaced. “I said I was a punk kid, didn’t I?”

“Yes. But it’s just terribly hard for me to imagine that you would ever think such horrible things.”

“Ah, that’s the unfailing love you have for your big brother speaking. I was a real bastard then.”

“What changed your mind about me?”

With a ragged sigh, Jake jerked a hand through his hair. “You.”

I furrowed my brows in confusion. “Me?”

“It all changed the moment I bent over the bassinet to look at you. Even though I probably stared down at you with such hate on my face, do you know what you did?”

“What?” I questioned softly.

Tears shimmered in Jake’s dark eyes. “You smiled at me.”

Witnessing Jake’s emotions caused tears to sting my eyes as well. “I did?”

He bobbed his head before dragging his sleeve across his face. “And then just like that—” he paused to snap his fingers, “any hate or anger I had toward you evaporated. The longer I stood there, the longer you kept smiling and cooing like I was the best thing you had ever lay eyes on. Nancy came in the room and asked me if I wanted to hold you. Never would I have imagined saying yes, but I did—I wanted to feel you in my arms, snuggle you against my chest.” With tears streaming down his face, Jake smiled. “And from that day on, I’ve loved you with all my heart, Allie-bean.”

I hiccupped a sob at his words. Fumbling out of the chair, I couldn’t seem to get to him fast enough. When I threw my arms around his neck, Jake pulled me down beside him on the couch. “Oh Jake, I love you so much,” I murmured, as I hugged him tight.

“I know, baby girl. I know. I love you just as much.”

Relief flooded me when Jake’s arms came around me. They felt safe and comforting just like they always did. I hoped that meant that he had forgiven me for what he had witnessed earlier. Pulling away, I stared up into his handsome face. “Nothing will ever change my love for you or how much I need you as a big brother. Not even my feelings for Rhys.”

Jake’s expression darkened at the mention of Rhys. “I just can’t believe he betrayed me by going behind my back with you.”

Shaking my head, I replied, “He didn’t betray you. It takes two, and I’m just as guilty as he is.”

“Allison, you’re just a kid, but Rhys is a man. He knows better. Just the thought that he seduced you for his own selfish, bullshit reasons makes me want to throttle him again.”

“He didn’t seduce me.” When Jake started to protest, I held up my hand. “Didn’t you hear me say that I’ve been in love with Rhys since I was thirteen years old? Trust me, no one wanted this more or consented more than I did.”

Jake’s brows creased with confusion. “What are you saying?”

“There’s never been and never will be any man in the world for me but Rhys.”

“But how?” Jake croaked.

I laughed. “Are you asking me to explain why I love him? Because I don’t necessarily think I can. Just like I’m sure it would be hard for you to explain why you fell in love with Abby despite your differences and the fact the world was against you guys.”

Jake winced as if he knew what I was saying was true but hated to admit it. “I promise you that Rhys never set out to seduce me into his bed and make me one of his conquests. More than anything, he fought against what he felt for me because he didn’t want me to get hurt. But Jake most of all, he didn’t want to jeopardize your friendship.”

“Really?” Jake asked, his brows rising in surprise.

“Yes. Runaway Train is the only true family he has, and he didn’t want to do anything to risk it, even if it meant throwing away his own happiness and mine to keep the peace.”

Running his hand through his hair, Jake gave a ragged sigh. “I had no idea.”

“No, you’ve been too much of a stubborn ass to see anything past your own feelings,” I replied.

Jake’s eyes momentarily bulged. “Hey now.”

Cocking my head at him, I gave him a tentative smile. “It’s the truth on some level, and you know it.”

With a sheepish expression, Jake said, “Yeah, I guess it is. You know me too well, Allie-Bean.” He then glanced down at his hands and sighed raggedly. “Hell, I knew Rhys’s home life was fucked up, but I had no idea how strongly he needed the band. Not only do I feel terrible about hitting him, but I feel like a huge ass for all of the horrible things I said to him. The truth is he’s never been like me in the way he treated women. I shouldn’t have called him out for behavior that wasn’t really his. It’s just hard to think any man would ever be fucking good enough for my baby sister, Allie-Bean.”

“All you have to do to make it right is apologize.” When Jake gave a frustrated grunt, I brought my hand to his cheek. “Rhys isn’t the type of guy to hold a grudge. The most important thing in his life is harmony between those he loves. You can make things right because you love him and because you love me.”

Jake brought his gaze to mine. “Fine. I’ll fucking apologize, okay?” he growled.

“Can you work on your tone a little before you try?” I teasingly asked. He plastered on a hideous fake smile. “Well, that is truly frightening.”

He chuckled. “You’re really busting my balls, kiddo.”

I grinned. “Just go easy on Rhys, okay?”

Jake nodded. “For you, I will.”

“Don’t just do it for me. Do it because of your love for him. He’s your family.”

Rolling his eyes, Jake gripped my waist and then set me on my feet. “Fine, fine. I’ll get all mushy and sentimental and do it for our—” he paused to make air quotes, “bromance. How’s that?”

“Very good.”

Motioning to the door, he said, “Go send him in.”

Although I felt like everything was good between us, I was still a little scared to have Jake talk with Rhys. “Alone?”

“Yesss,” Jake hissed, as if he couldn’t believe I doubted his ability to be civil.

“Okay, okay,” I replied, heading for the door. Peeking my head out into the hallway, I saw Rhys pacing back and forth. It warmed my heart to see that he had stayed relatively close in case things went bad. “Rhys?” I called.

His head snapped up, and he whirled around to stare expectantly at me. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine. Jake’s ready to talk to you now.”

Rhys’s brows shot up. “Really?”

I nodded as he exhaled his breath in one long whoosh. As he strode up to me, he gave a shaky smile. His being nervous would have been quite comical if I hadn’t been so apprehensive myself. “So should I be worried about more bodily harm?”

With a laugh, I replied, “No, I think you’re okay.”

“And we’re okay?”

“We’re great.”

He leaned in and gave me a tender kiss. “I’m glad to hear that.”

I was almost too overwhelmed with emotions to respond. I felt like pinching myself to make sure this was really happening. It felt too good to be true. With a gentle nudge, I pointed Rhys in the direction of the doorway. “Go on, face the music, and get it over with.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied, before giving me a mock salute.

After he disappeared inside the room and shut the door behind him, I couldn’t help saying a prayer that everything would finally be right between us—and that meant all of us.

W
hile I tried masking my nerves about Jake in front of Allison, I was still a basket case inside. Sure, I had made my argument and stood my ground, but there was still a pansy-ass part of me that dreaded facing Jake. Somehow I couldn’t help being a little apprehensive about actually sitting down with him to talk man to man about what I had done. Throwing back my shoulders, I gave Allison a reassuring smile. Then I took in a deep breath, bit the bullet, and headed inside the room.