Strictly Forbidden (36 page)

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Authors: Shayla Black

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“I’m perfectly fond of you,” he objected.

She smiled. “As I am of you, but that is not the same as love.”

He sighed, looked at his feet. “Do you love another?”

Kira wanted to avoid the truth, but James was too sweet a man to lie to. “Yes.”

James absorbed the news with a slow nod. He turned to retrieve the flowers, one tender,
colorful bud at a time, clearly stalling for time.

“Will you marry him?” he asked finally.

She wished it with all her heart. “I believe so.”

“You’re certain you want to do this? What of your reputation?”

“I’m quite certain.” Then she leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Now that Lord Vance’s
deeds have been exposed, perhaps the
ton
will see me as more a victim than a seductress.”

“That would seem fair.” He nodded.

Optimistic, as usual. Kira had always liked that about James. She smiled, genuine
fondness for him swelling inside her. She hoped to call him cousin soon, but she would
always call him friend.

“You’ll be leaving, I suppose.” He looked dejected by the prospect.

Kira hoped he understood someday that she was doing the right thing. “I must, though
I will beg upon your hospitality until my brother returns from Cornwall.” And she
and Gavin could hopefully settle upon the details of a life together.

“Of course. You should not travel alone.”

“Thank you. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, everything you were willing
to do to save my reputation. You deserve the very best in life.”

He handed the flowers to her with a soft smile. “So do you.”

* * * *

Listless, Kira walked the length of the gallery that night, waiting for Gavin’s return.
She scanned the wall of his ancestors. The family resemblance from father to son was
strong, deviating by eye color or chin shape every few generations. Indeed, Gavin
looked a great deal like his father, yet without the devil-may-care attitude apparent
in the previous duke’s grin.

“That was my brother, Richard.”

Kira whirled to Mrs. Howland’s voice to find the small woman standing near, fat, graying
ringlets framing her round face. She looked anxious, and Kira wondered what the woman
wanted.

“I guessed as much,” she replied.

“As you can see, we keep a number of family portraits here. That was Gavin’s mother,
Jane.” Mrs. Howland pointed to the image of a fragile russet-haired creature with
large green eyes.

The air of responsibility, the serious slant to her expression—Kira saw where Gavin
had acquired those, as well as the shallow cleft in his chin.

“She was lovely,” Kira said.

Mrs. Howland nodded. “She died very young.”

“I’m sorry.” Kira wondered what the woman wanted. The longer she stood here making
idle conversation, the more she knew something was afoot.

“James told me that you’ve ended your engagement.”

So, he’d told his mother already. It was for the best, Kira was sure. Now all that
remained was for Kira to tell Gavin so they might get on with their lives.

“Indeed. I came to realize that we did not suit.”

Mrs. Howland absorbed the victory with a wry smile. “I have not been very kind to
you, and I see that I owe you an apology.

“Apology?”

“Indeed. You risked yourself to help bring James home, rather than letting Gavin rescue
his cousin himself. And James also told me of Lord Vance’s terrible deeds. I had no
notion…”

Kira saved the older woman from her discomfort. “Oh, no
one
did, least of all me, not until it was nearly too late.”

“Still, I misjudged you. You were not a party to Lord Vance’s seduction but a victim
of it. I see now why marrying my son seemed like the perfect solution to your dilemma.
And still, you chose the difficult path of courage to set him free.”

Kira had set herself free as well in the hopes of wedding Gavin. Even if she had not,
she felt certain she could never have gone through with a marriage to James.

“I truly am sorry,” murmured Mrs. Howland.

Kira swallowed. Mrs. Howland may not ever like her, but she was no longer an enemy
“Thank you. That means a great deal to me.”

* * * *

That night, Kira waited in Gavin’s room for his arrival. Now they would finally have
a moment alone to settle the future.

She had searched for Gavin for hours after ending her engagement with James so she
might inform him that the obstacle to their union—namely her engagement—was of no
consequence anymore. Now that Lord Vance had been exposed as a liar, certainly the
scandal would die. And if Gavin knew she loved him and that James would not be hurt
by their marriage, Kira prayed he would propose. His willingness to risk his life
to protect her safety and repair her reputation proved that he cared a great deal.

Now she lay naked in Gavin’s bed, missing him, impatient to connect with him again.
She yearned to experience the magic they generated, show him the tender love she had
for him. She prayed he would look inside his heart and heed its call, for she knew
if he did, they would always be together.

At half past two in the morning, Gavin strode in. As she’d hoped, he did not rouse
his valet. They were alone.

In the shadows, Kira lay behind the sheer draping about his massive bed and watched
as he shrugged out of his somber blue coat and dark trousers. He was meticulous as
he
laid
them across the back of a plush green striped Louis XV chair. Her own brother would
have simply left them in a heap on the floor. But that was Gavin—special in small
ways.

With elegant fingers, he untied his crisp cravat, loosened his very white shirt, and
pulled it over his head, revealing the taut skin rippling across his chest and abdomen.
Kira devoured the visual treat, then skimmed down to the length of his calves evident
beneath his drawers.

Then, at last, those came off as well. Naked and near perfect, Gavin stood, all wide
shoulders and lean torso, supported by long, strong legs.

And he had held her. Kira remembered the pleasure to be found in his embrace, her
heart expanding with joy as he possessed her as if he meant never to let her go. In
truth, she could not forget a moment of her time with the man.

She hoped that a reminder of their sizzling perfection as lovers would start their
life together on a happy note.

After draping his shirt across the chair, Gavin reached inside his wardrobe and retrieved
a nightshirt. Then he padded on bare feet toward the bed. Though she could not discern
his exact expression in the darkness, Kira thought he looked troubled.

Well, a good wife’s duty was to ease her husband’s mind, and she knew the perfect
way.

Gavin neared the bed and raised the nightshirt above his head, as if he meant to don
it.

“I do not think you will need that tonight,” she murmured.

With a start, Gavin pulled the drape aside. His gaze fell upon her immediately. She
was covered. Though she’d wished she could be daring and lay before him completely
unclothed, she found herself oddly reticent. For all of her sneaking into his bed,
she simply wasn’t bold.

“Kira, what are you doing here?”

She raised herself up on her elbow, allowing her unbound hair to fall across her bare
shoulders and half-covered breasts, while she extracted the garment from his fingers.
Gavin’s gaze followed the movement. Instantly, his shoulders tensed.

“We have not had a moment alone since Cornwall to talk. I’ve missed you,” she murmured.

He drew in a deep breath and looked at the ceiling, as if seeking divine guidance.

Puzzled, Kira sat up and took Gavin’s hand in her own. Teeth gritted, he looked at
her again, at their joined hands, then at the hard pebbles of her nipples peeking
out between the streaming coils of her black hair. His shaft swelled before her very
eyes.

“We must talk,” he said.

She watched in fascination. “I agree. What would you like to say?”

He reached for his nightshirt again, but she kept it beyond reach. “Kira, I— No. It
must be now.”

Her breath caught. Did he wish to honor her by waiting until after their marriage
before knowing the joys of their togetherness again? The notion was sweet, if unnecessary.

With her gaze touching him, Gavin lengthened, hardened, until his manhood stood erect
against his belly, nearly to his navel. He groaned.

“You want me.”

Sighing, he looked down at himself. “Obviously. But—

“No buts. Tonight is about considering all the reasons—and ways—in which we should
be together. To do that, I must first tell you that I am no longer engaged to your
cousin.”

Gavin peered down at her with a frown, clearly struggling to think in the midst of
his arousal. “What?”

“I released James from his obligation. He and I did not suit. I feel much differently,
however, about you and me.” She gazed at him with all the love in her heart. “I have
never felt about another as I do about you,” she whispered. “Have you ever felt this
way about someone else?”

He hesitated, gaze heavy as he scanned her face.

“Have you?” she prompted, squeezing his hand.

“No.” The ragged syllable sounded as if he’d torn it from his chest. “That is the
problem.”

Kira frowned. “Problem? Why? It’s wonderful! I can imagine nothing better than the
way you make me feel every time I’m with you. You’re solid and protecting, but you
can be so genuinely understanding… I feel as if I can almost fly when I’m with you.”

“You make me out to be far too good and noble.”

“I know you have faults. Your temper, for one. At times, your autocratic nature. And
your tendency to think with only your head.”

“Kira—

“Think with your heart, Gavin. What does it want?”

He stared at her, fists clenched at his sides. His pensive expression soon became
a pained frown. He swallowed, looking as if he wanted to resist her words. And she
refused to let him. Gavin cared for her. She believed that
with
all her heart, just as she believed fate had destined them for one another.

His struggle softened her heart. He needed her. Kira brought his palm to her mouth
and kissed it, teeth nipping at his fingers.

His body jerked at the contact. His member swelled again. “Stop.”

“Not until you listen to your heart.”

“I do not have one.”

At that, Kira’s heart lurched. Certainly he did not mean that. “Of course you do,
and I know it is very caring.”

She abandoned the blankets, stood on her knees, and edged across the mattress to his
side. Gavin closed his eyes but did not move away when she pressed her full, bare
length against his body and kissed his mouth.

She eased her lips over his in an experimental brush. He smelled of wood and musk—and
Gavin. Her heart expanded at the feel of him close, exclusively hers. She touched
a gentle hand to his neck, tracing a soft line down his naked spine.

“Kira, it… You—

“Hush. Your heart, not your head. What does it say?”
She
kissed a warm trail down the strong column of his neck.

Gavin could not control his heart, nor did he need to try. She would teach him that
lesson.

To begin, she pressed her lips to his in a lingering sweep, exploring the textures
of their kiss. As she caressed his bottom lip with the tip of her tongue, he groaned.

Then suddenly, he banded his steely arms around her chest, slanted his mouth over
hers, and plundered with a fierceness that left her breathless and reeling. He gripped
her face in his hands, drawing her deeper and deeper into his embrace. Passion sizzled
in her veins as he loved every inch of her mouth.

There is his heart,
she thought with a sigh.

“What are you doing to me?” He forced the question out as he panted for air.

“Showing you the way it should always be between us. Now stop talking.”

Gavin looked as though he wanted to speak again, and Kira objected. They would have
plenty of time to talk—their whole lives, in fact. Talking was not high on her schedule
at the moment, experiencing the care in his touch was.

She slid a pair of fingers down the solid length of his chest, his flat belly
,
then lower still. Their first night together in the library, he had touched her intimately
and brought her amazing pleasure. Certainly she was past due in returning the favor.

As she reached for him, Gavin grabbed her wrist in a steely grip. “Kira—

“I want to touch you.” She wriggled her hand until he released her. “I want to give
you all the pleasure you give me.”

Gavin drew in a breath that became a hiss as Kira wrapped her hand around his shaft.
He was like iron sheathed in velvet. How interesting. And when she caressed her way
to the head, Gavin rose to the tips of his toes and groaned. The bulbous top turned
blue. She repeated the process while pressing lazy kisses to his face and neck.

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