Stray (19 page)

Instead, I did the one thing a sub should never do. I ignored my Dom. I closed the bathroom door, locked myself inside and ran the water to drown out anything he said from the other side. As the water from my bath slowly filled the room with steam, I found myself sitting with my back against the door, knees pulled up to my chest.

“Alyssa,” Dylan’s voice was muffled, but it was his urgency that got my attention first. “Talk to me, please.”

“No.” My voice cracked. I coughed around the dryness in my throat.

“Then just listen.” Something hit the other side of the door, then slid down the hard surface—I could only assume it was Dylan sitting down the same way I had done. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I know it was wrong—”

“You think?” It didn’t matter if he was my Dom or not. I was in no mood to call him Master or anything else that put him on a pedestal.

“I’m sorry. It’s just…I knew if I told you, you’d freak out.” He lowered his voice. “Kind of like how you’re doing now.”

I clenched my fists, stood up and turned off the water before facing the door. I touched the collar around my neck, fishing for the buckle. And as soon as it came undone, I opened the door between us, holding it out in front of me.

“You think that’s why I’m upset?” The words came out in a growl.

“Isn’t it?” He rose to his feet, eyeing the collar in my hands. His eyes softened and filled with pain. I was doing the same thing his last sub had done right before she’d left. “Alyssa…”

I’d known what I had been getting into when we’d first met. I’d known he didn’t keep his subs. But I wasn’t like all the others. He’d told me this. So had Marnie.

“Being here now…” I took a breath, trying to calm down. “You said this was all that was left of my training. That you have other Doms for me.” By now I was sobbing, and as soon as Dylan’s arms wrapped around me, I fell to pieces. Lost control. Lost myself. “I don’t want them. I don’t want Eric. I don’t want anyone else. I just… Why can’t I stay with you?”

“Babe, I…” Dylan stroked my hair, setting me on the edge of the bed as he spoke. “God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I thought if I…if I stopped training, if I stopped doing so well, you’d let me stay.”

“But you are doing well. Very well.”

“I don’t want to.” Tears streaked down my cheeks, and I wiped at my nose. My hands shook between us when the collar fell onto the bed. “I can’t be your sub one day, and then be gone the next. I thought I could handle it, but I can’t. Not with you. Not with Marnie. Not with Eric or anyone else. Maybe I just wasn’t ready for this.”

Dylan brushed the tears from my face. “Look at me.” I did. His eyes were filled with tears. “Christ, Alyssa. You have any idea how crazy I felt tonight, watching you with Eric? I couldn’t stand that he—that another Dom—was touching you. And when he…” He shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me how you felt about this?”

“It wasn’t my place.” I rubbed one of my eyes. “What’s your excuse?”

“That wasn’t what we agreed upon. Do you remember what I told you in the beginning?”

I shrugged. He’d told me a lot of things.

“Doms aren’t mind readers. If you don’t tell me how you’re feeling, I can’t help you. I can’t protect you. Hell, if you’d told me tonight that you didn’t want to come here or that you didn’t want another Dom, I would’ve called Eric and told him to fuck off.”

“But he’s your friend.” Or at least, that’s what I’d gathered from their ongoing banter.

Dylan caressed my face. “He could be family for all I care. My subs always come first. I don’t share a sub unless she wants to be shared.” He sighed. His eyes never left mine. “You’re all I want. This whole time, I’ve been trying to fool myself into thinking I could let go. That I could pass you on to someone else. But all I’ve done is made a complete ass out of myself.” He picked the collar up from the bed, tracing the edges of it with his fingers. “I can’t promise things between us will always be easy, but if you promise to be patient with me and to continue your training, I’d love for you to stay with me—with us.”

I blinked, clearing my vision. My heart hurt. My cheeks were hot. And I knew I was in for one hell of a migraine come morning. But it’d had to be done. I’d said the right thing, and now, Dylan and I were balancing on a ledge. I’d been there once before with another Dom. An incapable Dom, but one I had at one time called my Master.

I bowed my head between us before setting it in Dylan’s lap. He stroked my hair, pulling it over to one side before replacing my collar.

I sat up with his help. We weren’t actually honeymooners, but the way we kissed just then trumped everything else. My fear of the kennel. The possibility of seeing Anthony again. Of being recognised by him. It trumped every time Dylan and I had ever kissed, flogged and fucked. Everything was lost to his hungry lips. And when he went to lay me on the bed, I didn’t fight back, every ounce of effort spent on just making our kiss last that much longer.

Tomorrow, we would still be going to the kennel. Only now, I planned to face it head on. We might have taken a step in the right direction, but I still had some training to do. It was time I learnt how to be a wolf.

Chapter Nineteen

The first thing I recognised when we walked into the kennel was the smell. The scents of smoke, sweat and fur intermingled as I struggled to breathe the air. Everything I’d fought to keep out of my mind for the last year came back in a blinding flash.

“I know this place,” I murmured beside Dylan, staring at the array of doors surrounding us. I’d been here before. Not just in a kennel like this, but inside this exact one.

“We can leave if you want,” Dylan offered, pulling me off to the side so we could let other visitors pass.

“And do what? Go home?” Home was still over two hours away, and I was pretty sure neither one of us was up for the drive.

“Back to our room,” Dylan corrected me with a smile.

“Hmm, thanks, but I think I’ll pass.”

Dylan shrugged, and we moved forward. I would’ve loved to have gone back to the room. To sleep and get a hot shower. But we were here. And unless I wanted to try to do this some other time when I’d have even more time to second-guess myself, we weren’t going anywhere.

I hadn’t recognised it from the outside. The building was larger, repainted, and the little I did remember from the kennel Anthony had usually taken me to didn’t quite match up with what I’d seen outside. But now that we’d walked through the doors, everything was suddenly the same.

In front of us was the reception desk. One of the more experienced Doms was sitting behind it, writing something in a binder as we approached him. My attention drifted from the other Dom to the doors to either side of us. Some of the doors led off to locker rooms, others to an area to cool down. But most of them were long hallways that reached into the main chamber where submissive wolves waited to be called out to the ring.

Dylan gave the other Dom all the essential information, including his driver’s licence along with my age to assure him neither one of us was a minor.

The gentleman then asked, “Shifters?”

Dylan nodded. “We both are, but we’re only here to watch.”

The man smiled and handed Dylan two cards before ushering us through the door behind him.

Dylan gave me my card, which I shoved into one of my pockets. He’d come better prepared than I’d thought. Not only had he brought our nightclothes, he’d also brought something comfortable for us to wear at the kennel—a T-shirt and jeans for him, a simple blouse, sweater and denim shorts for me.

Hugging my sweater around my neck, I fought off the chill as we stepped through the door towards the main ring. It would be hard to describe how it looked to anyone who had never been inside a kennel before. Essentially, it was a lot like a boxing ring—stands on all sides with the main event taking place somewhere in the middle.

There was also a bar far to our left, closer to the ring, which was exactly where we were headed. My gaze wandered, searching faces I didn’t know along with the few I did—Doms I’d seen back when Anthony had brought me here.

My throat tightened when I looked at the centre ring. Surrounded by what were essentially concrete dividers one would see along the side of a road, the central area was covered in red dirt. This guaranteed a safe fall for any wolf who lost his or her balance. Above that hung a series of wooden catwalks, resembling a spider’s web.

The ring itself was rigged for agile wolves. Each kennel had its own setup, along with its own wolves depending on what their strengths were. Agility had always been my best trait, and it had allowed me to jump from one catwalk to the other, avoiding another wolf’s attacks. There were other catwalks reaching from the centre ring above the audience to the back walls. I’d never used them, but some wolves were able to get a lot of speed just by running from one to the other.

When we reached the bar, Dylan ordered two sodas, a Coke for me and a Sprite for himself. We’d both had coffee earlier this morning, but I was still dragging. The additional caffeine probably wouldn’t help me any more than the coffee had, but I accepted it anyway.

A few of the other Doms had filed behind us. One in particular caught my eye—his gaze was on me.

“Dylan,” the man laughed, shaking his hand. “Man, how long has it been since you were last here?”

Dylan forced a smile, and I could tell this Dom wasn’t among the few he trusted. “Lukus, good to see you.” He stood between us. “How ya been? Not getting into trouble, I hope.”

Lukus flicked his nose. “What’s the fun in that?” He craned his neck, looking around Dylan at me before glancing back at him. “You here for the season?”

“Just here to watch.” Dylan’s posture tightened, and I shrunk behind him.

“Mmm, pity. She would make a nice wolf.”

“You mean a weaker opponent,” Dylan corrected him, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You know me—always eyeing up the competition.”

I clenched my teeth, steadying myself when Dylan placed a hand on my shoulder. “It’s not our fight,” he said, pulling me off to the side.

With our drinks in hand, we climbed the stand to our seats. I was surprised when I noticed Marnie and Patrick sitting in our row, and I took my place beside them.

Marnie fixed her skirt and leant forward to smile at Dylan. “Making friends, I see.”

I settled back in my seat. “I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen Dylan so worked up. Is the other Dom really that bad?” I’d seen bad owners before, but figured the way Lukus had talked had been more for show than anything else.

“Not enough to get him kicked out,” Dylan grumbled.

“He’s gotten close, though,” Patrick added, nodding in the direction of the bar. “It’s not just what he does to his wolves. It’s how he treats the rest of the subs. He’s been caught in rooms a few times, trying to harass the other subs into forfeiting from the fight. It never works, but it’s gotten him in enough trouble that most of the Doms in here know to keep an eye on him.”

“I’d like to put more than just my eyes on him,” Dylan growled, his grip on his armrests tightening.

I thought about Anthony and wondered if the other Doms in our community were keeping an eye on him as well. Dylan had made a comment early on about how a Dom couldn’t get caught unless someone spoke up. My voice wouldn’t be enough. Not unless I wanted to fight with my word against his. I was just a sub, after all. Now, if another Dom had seen…that would be a different story, which I assumed was the case with Lukus.

Marnie laced her fingers through mine, leaning over to whisper in my ear. “Did you have a good night?”

I smiled. “More than you know.”

Her expression brightened. “Anything you can tell me?”

I licked my lips and glanced at Dylan for permission. He nodded. “I’m moving in.”

Marnie frowned. “I thought you already had.”

I tugged at my collar, my smile growing.

Marnie just about jumped out of her chair to hug me, punching Dylan on the arm as she did. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Dylan rubbed at where she’d punched him. “I didn’t know.”

I looked between them, knowing we’d have a lot of explaining to do later on. “Hey, why are you guys here anyway? I thought Patrick was going to take you home.”

Marnie eyed Patrick, wiggling in her chair. “When I told him where Dylan was taking you and how badly I wanted to go along, he decided to bring me here himself.”

I glared at Dylan. “Did you know they were here?”

“Patrick, man, help me out here,” Dylan pleaded.

“Sorry, man, you brought this on yourself.” Patrick laughed, casually sipping from his drink.

Dylan sighed and caressed my face. “It wasn’t planned, no. This morning, before you got up, I got a text. Patrick asked if we could meet down in the lobby. So when I went to get coffee, we planned from there.”

“Thank you,” I said, looking at the three of them.

“I thought you’d want a friend,” Marnie explained, resting her head on my shoulder. “Besides, I haven’t been to a kennel in forever.”

“Same here.” My muscles tightened, and worry lines creased the corners of Marnie’s eyes. “Sorry.”

“Have you ever watched?”

I shook my head. “I was always in one of the back rooms or inside the ring—this exact ring.”

Her eyes widened, and she hugged her arms around one of mine. “Are you sure?”

I nodded, which resulted in looks of concern from every single one of them. “Anthony brought me here fairly often. I didn’t recognise it from the outside…”

“But the inside?” Dylan asked, the colour draining from his face.

“It’s the smell, mostly. That and the ring itself. No two rings are alike.” Not like I had to tell him that, but I said it anyway, for Marnie’s sake as well as my own.

“So he might—” Marnie shook her head and closed her eyes.

“Alyssa.” Dylan touched my hands. “If I’d known…”

“I know.”

“We can leave—”

“It’s okay. I want to be here.” And it was true. Sure, the idea of Anthony still training wolves in this ring was a high possibility, but I had Doms I knew I could trust all around me. He wasn’t getting to me anytime soon. “But thank you.”