Strange Girl (18 page)

She glanced at me. Her lower lip was still swollen from the previous night. “Because I’m not the body,” she said.

A feeling of déjà vu swept over me and I felt a mild dizziness. It reminded me of the first day I had met Aja, when she had touched me while we were eating lunch on the bench. I struggled a bit with the wheel of the car.

“You told me that last night,” I said.

“Yes.”

I frowned. “Why am I having trouble remembering?”

“It’s hard for most people to understand. Don’t worry, it’ll come back to you with time.”

“What will?”

“What you need to know.”

“About you?”

“About you.” Aja touched my shoulder. “It will be okay, Fred.”

The dizziness caused by my déjà vu fled and I was able to steady the car on the road. I smiled at her reply. “You like to say that as well. But I don’t think it’s true. The world’s a brutal place. Life is seldom okay for very long. Just look at what happened to Mike.”

Aja squeezed my shoulder and nodded.

But she didn’t say anything.

I dropped her at home before I returned the Camry to Janet’s house. Bo met me in the garage. He joked about providing transportation for my love life. “You should just buy the damn car from me,” he said.

“Didn’t you already give it to Janet?”

Bo shrugged. “It’s impossible to give that girl anything. She keeps insisting it’s my car when I keep telling her it belongs to her.”

“Whose name is it listed under at the DMV?”

“Mine. She won’t let me put in under her name.”

“That’s weird.”

“That’s her mother in her. Hey, she told me to tell you she’s over at Shelly’s with the rest of the band. They want you to go over. Mike can’t play yet but they still want to practice.”

“Thanks. And thanks again for the car.”

Bo grinned mischievously. “Just tell me if you got lucky last night?”

“A gentleman never says.”

“Since when are you a gentleman?”

I laughed. “Since last night!”

Bo patted me on the back. “That’s my man!”

I walked straight to Shelly’s house. My two main guitars were at home but I could always use my old Fender if we decided to jam. Walking up to our heavily insulated garage, I was surprised when a middle-aged couple jumped out of their car and hurried over to me.

“Excuse me, are you Fred Allen? The lead singer of Half Life?” the man asked. They were both overweight with pleasant faces. Yet they were tense as well and I was reminded of the incident at the restaurant. Suddenly, I knew what was coming. Their car plates said they were from Ohio.

“Who wants to know?” I asked.

“Please forgive us. My name is Dustin Alastair and this is my wife, Eileen. We know who you are. We saw you in that first video Casey Morall posted on YouTube.”

“That video didn’t exactly focus on my singing.”

“I’m sorry. But to be honest we’re not here because of you,” Mr. Alastair said. “Our ten-year-old daughter, Lisa, is in the car, lying in the backseat, resting. She has an inoperable brain tumor.” He paused. “The doctors say she doesn’t have long to live.”

“We need Aja to heal her,” Mrs. Alastair blurted out.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help you.” I tried slipping past them but they blocked my way.

Mr. Alastair continued. “Look, Fred, may I call you Fred? We’ve checked around town. Everyone says you’re Aja’s boyfriend. We’ve been out to her house. But no one answers when we ring the doorbell. And we understand that. Tons of people must be showing up and begging her to heal them. I realize we’re nobody to you.” He began to choke up. “But Lisa’s all we have. And if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, if you could just ask Aja to look at her.”

“We’d be so grateful,” Mrs. Alastair said, her eyes watering.

This couple wasn’t like the one Aja and I had run into the previous night. They were in terrible pain but they were still striving to be kind and polite. Yes, maybe they were a little pushy, I thought, but if I was in their position would I be any different? I mean, if I honestly believed Aja could heal my child. The answer, of course, was no. So it made it harder for me to brush them off.

Yet I had a problem. Well, actually I had a few problems. First off, I didn’t know if Aja could help Lisa. On the other hand, I wasn’t certain Aja
couldn’t
help their daughter. Somehow, sleeping with Aja, having sex with her, and listening to what she had told me—whatever it had been—had altered my mind in some mysterious way. All the doubts I’d had about her healing ability, they had not vanished. Not completely, at least. I mean, it wasn’t as if I’d suddenly been transformed into a true believer. But the idea that she could work miracles no longer seemed ridiculous. And that in itself was something of a miracle, I thought.

Yet I was terrified what would happen to Aja if she did try to heal Lisa Alastair. Touching Mike’s head had wiped her out for a week. She was my girlfriend now—at least in my mind she was—and there was no way I was going to risk hurting her, no matter how dire the Alastairs’ situation was.

It was all very confusing and difficult.

“Are you staying in town?” I asked.

Mr. Alastair spoke. “We just got a room at the Great Western. Room sixteen.”

“Okay, room sixteen. I’ll remember that. Look, I’ll be talking to Aja later today and I’ll ask her about Lisa. But I must warn you, the chances of her doing anything to help your daughter are small. Really small, I mean, extremely remote. So please don’t get your hopes up.”

“Can I give you our cell number?” Mr. Alastair asked, handing me a card.

“Sure,” I said. I put it in my back pocket.

“But she can heal people, right?” Mrs. Alastair said. “You’ve seen her cure people?”

I shook my head. “Honestly, I’ve never seen her heal anyone. Not with my own eyes.”

That seemed to shock the Alastairs. They didn’t know how to respond. I took the opportunity to slip away. I headed for the garage and went inside. Mike, Dale, Shelly, Janet—everyone was waiting for me. Only no one looked ready to play music. The mood was somber. I didn’t have to ask if they’d spoken to the Alastairs. It was written on their faces.

“We have a problem,” Janet said.

“I told you guys about my meeting with Casey Morall,” I said, taking a seat beside Mike and Dale on the dumpy yellow couch we kept pressed against our amps to smooth out our sound. We also used it to crash on.

Shelly sat behind her keyboards, Janet behind the drums. In a pinch Janet could play the drums. She had the few times Mike had been too drunk to go onstage. But she wasn’t very good.

“You didn’t tell me,” Shelly said.

“Sorry,” I said. “The bottom line is Casey’s got too much time and emotion invested in ‘Aja’s story’ to back off.”

“Aja should sue her,” Shelly said.

Janet spoke. “Yesterday, I would have said no way. But today I wonder if it’s not a bad idea.”

“Casey’s not our problem,” Mike said abruptly.

A long silence followed his remark.

“What do you mean?” Janet asked.

Dale spoke. “Aja’s the problem.” He turned in my direction. “Fred knows what Mike and I are talking about.”

I hesitated. “Not really. What do you mean?”

Mike spoke. “You must have noticed we left the garage door open. We heard you talking to the Alastairs.”

“So? They drove a long way. They seemed like nice people. I didn’t want to just brush them off.”

“You gave them hope,” Janet said. “You shouldn’t have done that. It doesn’t matter that you told them the chances Aja could help their daughter were remote. All they heard is that it’s possible and that hope will torture them. You should call them right now and tell them to take their daughter home.”

“I agree,” Shelly said.

“I don’t,” Mike said.

“Neither do I,” Dale said.

Janet jumped up, knocking over the snare drum with her leg. “Hold on a second! What in God’s name are we talking about here? You guys are acting like Aja really can heal people. Do you know how nuts that is?”

Again, another long silence. It was weird that Mike and Dale had stirred the pot with their remarks but everyone was looking to me to tell them what we should do with what was already in the pot. I lowered my head and kept my mouth shut.

“Well?” Janet said finally. “Somebody say something.”

Dale stood. “Fred knows Aja better than any of us. I don’t think we should be so quick to judge what he said to the Alastairs.”

Janet groaned loudly. “Didn’t you guys hear what he just said? He didn’t brush off the Alastairs because he was too much of a coward to hurt their feelings. Not because he thinks Aja can save their daughter.” She paused. “Right, Fred?”

I shrugged. “I didn’t know what to tell them.”

Dale spoke carefully. “There’s an elephant is this room that none of us wants to talk about. But I think it’s something we need to face. Now.”

Shelly frowned. “Huh?”

Janet fumed. “Dale’s talking about Mike’s amazing recovery. He’s implying that Aja had something to do with it. And Mike, to my surprise, is saying the same thing, without really saying it. Why is everyone afraid to just say what they mean? Could it be because Fred’s here? And he’s sleeping with Aja?” Janet paused to catch her breath. “Am I right or am I right?”

Shelly looked stunned. She looked at me. “You had sex with Aja?”

I stood. “I’m sorry, guys, but I’m awfully tired. I’m going to go home and sleep.” I headed for the door. “Good-bye.”

I left in a hurry.

• • •

At home I spoke to my parents for a few minutes before disappearing into my room. The previous night, to keep my mom and dad from worrying, I’d called them when Aja and I had checked into the Hilton. But I’d lied and told them I was with Mike and would be at his house the whole night.

I don’t think either of them believed me because they repeatedly asked when they were going to get to meet Aja. Apparently they’d heard people around town talking about her. But they seemed to know nothing about Casey Morall’s videos. My parents had no interest in the Internet. They could send and read e-mail but that was about it.

Upstairs, lying on my bed, I blacked out. Although I’d slept well with Aja, the last few days had been stressful and I really was exhausted. I slept soundly for two hours and may have gone longer if my cell hadn’t rung.

“Hello?” I mumbled.

“Did I wake you?”

It was Janet, the last person I wanted to talk to. I couldn’t believe she had told the others I was sleeping with Aja. I wasn’t even sure how she knew, although I had kept her car the entire night. “What do you want?” I growled.

“I want to apologize,” Janet said.

“Great. Apologize after you let the cat out of the bag.”

“I know, what I said was totally rude, especially with Shelly in the room. I was just feeling pissed off about how everyone keeps acting like Aja is the second coming of Christ. Stuff like that really pushes my buttons. But it’s no excuse for what I did. I swear, Fred, I just blurted out the thing about you and Aja. I didn’t know I was going to say it until I did.”

The remark had annoyed me, especially since it had been so out of character for Janet. Growing up together, I’d always been impressed how she respected people’s privacy. Indeed, she was something of a fanatic on the issue.

But we were too close. I never could stay mad at Janet for more than a few minutes.

“It’s all right. She was bound to find out,” I said.

“Thanks. Thanks for letting it go. I’ll let you get back to sleep.”

I sat up in bed. “No, wait. In a way, I’m glad you called. I’ve been wanting to talk to you about these yogis you’ve been studying.”

“You want to discuss yoga the day after you lost your virginity?”

“How do you know I was a virgin? How do you know I never had sex with Nicole?”

“By the way you walk. A girl can tell. Why the sudden interest in yoga?”

“Aja told me some pretty weird stuff about herself last night. We need to talk about it. I’m beginning to realize that girl is stranger than we thought.”

“I can come over right now if you like.”

“I’ll come to your house. I’m the one asking the favor.”

“I’d rather talk about it at your house. Is now a good time?”

“Sure,” I said.

Janet arrived twenty minutes later with several books in hand. By then I was strumming my acoustic guitar, trying to work out more verses for “Strange Girl.” I was making progress. I played Janet my latest version of the song and she liked it. She said she loved it, actually, which meant a lot to me. Janet was hard to please.

“You should put it on your demo,” Janet said, sitting on the edge of my bed. I was in the chair beside my computer.

“I’ve already laid down the tracks for three songs.”

“This might be your strongest piece. I’d include it.”

“I’ll think about it.” I gestured to her books. “Once, when we were talking about yoga and meditation, you mentioned a specific system where you realize everything is one. I forget what you called it.”

“Advaita. It literally means ‘non-dual’ or ‘not two.’ It’s the form of meditation I’m into.”

“And you believe in this system?” I asked.

“I don’t believe in anything, you know that. Advaita isn’t based on beliefs. It teaches you how to quiet your mind. It works for me. It calms me down.” Janet paused. “What does this have to do with Aja?”

I tried my best to relate what Aja had told me about the Big Person and the Little Person; not being the mind or the body. I followed that by saying how Aja had given me a glimpse of the experience. Janet laughed when I explained it had happened right after we’d had sex. Yet I could tell she was listening closely. When I finished Janet sat silent for a long time, thinking.

“So?” I said finally.

“I’m not sure. Aja sounds like she’s describing the goal of Advaita. Not only that, she seems to be saying she’s realized the goal.”

“Is that possible?”

“Yeah. It’s also possible she’s just nuts.”

“Aja’s not nuts,” I snapped.

“I hear ya. I’m just saying that it’s more likely that she’s crazy than that she’s in cosmic consciousness. Listen, there’s an old saying from the Bhagavad Gita where Krishna says that out of a thousand people who are born, only one seeks the supreme state. And out of the thousand who seek the supreme state, only one finds it.” Janet paused. “That gives Aja only a one-in-a-million shot.”