Stranded On Christmas (15 page)

“
Where
are we?”

“
Baby,
you cut your hand. Don't you remember, the stitches?” He sounded so
worried.

“
Sure
right. Those hurt.”

“
Yes,
it looked painful. You passed out afterwards and have been napping
for an hour now. The doctor is worried about you. He wants to take
some tests. He needs a urine sample.” Gideon was talking to me like
I was a very small child.

“
Am
I all right?” I whispered worried about myself.

“
You
have been a bit out of sorts lately. Let the doctor give you the once
over, and we will know more.” He kissed my forehead.

“
Are
you worried that it is something serious?” I asked him.

“
I
think that you have something very serious but also very precious
that we will love for always.”

I
thought about that for a while, trying to guess what he meant by
that, but I simply couldn't concentrate.

“
Mrs.
Thompson, I have several questions that I would like to ask you.”
The doctor was bending down looking at me like I was a very breakable
little girl too.

Why
was everyone being so nice to me?

He
asked me how I had been feeling lately, and he wanted to know about
my period.

It
hadn't been regular since I moved in with Gideon and after the
birching, as he called it, I hadn't gotten one at all yet.

The
doctor tested my urine and declared that I was pregnant. He shook
Gideon's hand and congratulated him, like he had done something
amazing.

He
ignored me and talked to Gideon about vitamins and bed rest. When
they finished, Gideon helped me to my feet and walked me out to my
car, which was now his. Everything that I had or ever had was now
his.

Would
the baby also be his?

Gideon

I
went right up to Jessie to give her the things she wanted. I always
felt a need to check that she was still here whenever I went out and
came back in. I was just making sure. I would rather be safe than
sorry.

I
found her lying in bed when I came in. She smiled a weak smile at me,
but her eyes lit up. She was very happy to see me. I sat next to her
and smiled back. She had been in bed for three weeks now.

The
doctor stopped by every three days saying he wanted her to stay in
bed, or he would personally check her into a hospital.

Jessie
was so bored that even seeing me was a treat.

“
I
got you several things. The crackers that you like so well and more
importantly stay down. I got you several magazines about making baby
clothes and other things that a baby needed.”

“
But
you know I'm not that gifted?” She looked worried. She had no idea
how precious I thought she was.

“
Don't
worry, you still have six months. Make what you like. Our baby won't
have to go without anything, but it should have a few things made
especially for him or her. I got you grapes like you wanted, even
though the doctor said they weren't the best choice. Your beloved
peanut butter is also downstairs. When you’re ready for it, I’ll
spread some on your crackers for you.”

She
was nodding eagerly. It was almost time to carry her down to the
living room, so we could be close to each other. She would sometimes
complain about being bored up here all alone.

“
I'm
sorry that I’m causing you so much trouble.” She looked so
guilty.

The
truth was that I was thankful to her. She was taking care of our
child at the cost of her own health. What she was doing was
admirable.

I
often told her that, but she dismissed my words like she hadn't heard
them. She didn't see herself as a hero.

“
Don't
worry about that. I think you’re doing very well, but the doctor
wasn't at all pleased with you.”

Tears
filled her eyes. “He doesn't like me either?” she asked.

“
No,
no. That wasn't what I was saying. I think he likes you – a lot.
Better said he wasn't pleased with your blood results, or the fact
that you’re eating so little. He gave me new vitamins for you to
take. I’ll be making sure that you take them all.”

She
nodded at me. “Thank you for being so great about all of this. You
could have reacted differently.”

“
Sure,
if I were an ass, but I'm not. Now I need to tell you one more thing.
The doctor called this a high-risk pregnancy. He has ordered that you
basically stay in bed.”

“
But
my chores? I need to get up for my circulation. I can't stay in bed.”
She was fighting to get up, but when I left, she napped. She was
afraid of getting into trouble with me. I used that against her to
keep her in bed.

“
Spanking?”
I felt my eyebrows push together.

“
No,
sir.”

“
Good,
because I really don't want to have to do anything like that to a
bedridden woman. I’ve hired a girl from the farm down the road. She
will come every morning and take care of things. She will go home
every evening. Things will be on the up and up. She is only here to
take care of you and keep the house up.”

She
blushed terribly. “I wasn't worried that you would – I know that
you are only interested in me.”

I
beamed back at her, happy that she knew that she was loved. She had
even thanked me for taking care of her, saying I could have reacted
differently. But the thing was; she could be reacting differently
too. If she were cursing the baby and me, I would be reacting
differently too.

“
If
she has a moment to spare she can teach you how to knit and things
like that. Are you ready to go down?”

She
reached her arms up to me like a little kid would. I swooped her up
and kissed her. I felt so happy.

Everything
had fallen into place.

Angela
showed up on time the next morning. I explained as best as I could
what was wrong with my wife and what the doctor had said. I knew my
wife wasn't popular among the other women, but I was paying this girl
to help her and wanted her to be respectful to my Jessie. I gave her
a long list of chores before I went back to mine.

When
I came back in for lunch, I found out that she had brought Jessie a
light breakfast and introduced herself to her. I asked her if Jessie
had actually eaten anything. She merely shrugged her shoulders and
went back to the stove.

Angela
and I sat together while we ate. I got an earful about modern washing
machines and their practical uses. She even wanted to take our dirty
clothes home with her and bring them back tomorrow clean and dry.

I
had a feeling that she was implying that I had worked my wife sick.

I
raised my eyebrow at her and she stopped.

Angela
wasn't like Jessie.
I
liked to eat with Jessie. I should have taken my plate up and eaten
with her.

I
checked on her before I went back to my chores. She was asleep.

I
left disappointed.

Jessie

I
wasn't getting any better but worse. I felt like I was dying and that
sounded like rest, peaceful rest. Gideon visited me and talked to me
a couple of times during the day.

Once
Angela was gone, he carried me downstairs, so we could pretend that
everything was normal as we sat in the living room. I would knit and
cuddle with my men. Both Gideon and Pumpkin felt neglected.

Pumpkin
would sit on my lap, and I would pet his fur. He liked me, but I
wasn't the one who took care of him anymore. Gideon was his primary
caregiver in the meantime.

Gideon
was pretending to be nice to me. I still didn't trust him. I was glad
that he wanted the baby. Just the thought about having to care for a
baby and do all of my chores was making me sick. I tried to get
Gideon to explain what was wrong with me. He played it down, saying
that I only needed to rest.

Was
this somehow his fault because he had punished me so often?

Angela
was a complainer. She thought that we should have more stuff. I
agreed with her, but I wasn't sure that this wasn't a test. If I
complained, then he might punish me. However, she did take the time
to teach me how to knit baby booties for the baby.

Knitting
gave me something to do. Whenever I could sit, I worked on things for
the baby. I had so much time on my hands.

Mostly,
I lay in bed and thought back to Christmas. What I should have done
differently. If I had played my cards better, maybe he would have let
me buy a few things for the house that would make my life better.

I
had so much money, and here I had to work my hands raw merely to
clean one of his shirts.

There
had to be a compromise.

Jessie

It
was raining cats and dogs outside today. Gideon couldn't do much
outside, so I was downstairs before lunch.

I
was now in the fifth month. I had an adorable tiny tummy.

I
was feeling a bit better, but Gideon was getting more and more
worried. I would have thought that he would relax more now that I was
eating and out of bed more often, but he was getting worse. Now he
scolded me not to do anything. I was constantly sore from all of my
lying down.

We
drove to the doctor's once a week. He and the doctor whispered to
each other often. The doctor also insisted that I rest now.

Everyone
was being nice to me, that couldn't be good.

This
must honestly be a high-risk pregnancy. Gideon was reading to me on
the sofa. I was leaning against his chest. That was easier than
holding my head up.

Angela
came in and complained that the ceiling fan that Gideon had installed
in the kitchen wasn't working again. “The oven is so hot and that
fan won't move an inch,” she whined.

Gideon
carefully moved me to the side before he got up. He looked mad, but
it was unbearably hot today. The storm was pushing the heat down,
making the air heavy.

I
would have passed out for sure if I had to cook in the sweltering
heat. The air was so thick and heavy. I wasn't comfortable no matter
where I was. Gideon came back, shaking his head. “I’ll carry you
up again. I have to take the fan completely apart again.”

“
I'm
fine. You don't have to carry me up.” I got up and turned away from
him. I was so dizzy, but I knew that Angela wanted to finish up and
go home. She didn't eat lunch with us anymore, now that I was back at
the table.

Gideon
went into the kitchen, and I worked my way over to the stairs. They
had never seemed so high, or so steep. I grabbed onto the railing and
pulled myself up. My head was spinning.

“
Gideon,”
I tried to call out, but only a whisper passed my lips.

I
kept going, not wanting to disturb him. It was hard work, but I was
the one constantly saying that I needed to be allowed to do more.

I
was actually proud when I reached the top of the staircase. I lifted
my head to take the next step and then everything went black.

Gideon

I
was standing on the kitchen table when I heard that terrible noise,
the one that I will never forget.

I
jumped down and raced to Jessie to see what had happened.

I
found her in the entryway on the floor. I thought that she was dead.
She had passed out and fallen down the stairs.

Her
dog was barking as I tried to wake Jessie up. I wasn't sure if I
should move her or not.

Behind
me Angela was talking on her cell phone. She was calling the doctor.
He was on the way. It would take him at least ten minutes to get
here.

That
was a long time to sit next to someone you loved and wonder if they
were alive or not.

I
held her hand, thinking that she might just be passing from our world
into another. That would scare her. She shouldn't be alone if that
was happening.

I
had to cry. I was sniffling, and I had tears running down my face.
Exactly like she did when I punished her.

I
regretted so much. If only I could go back in time, I would do so
many things differently.

I
was worried and scared.

If
she lived, I would make sure that she was never afraid of me again.
We would be happy like in the beginning.

Jessie

I
woke up in bed. I was in terrible pain. I had to scream. I felt like
I was broken in the middle of my body. There was an odd pulling
feeling there. No, pulling was too mild a word. I felt like I was
being ripped apart.