Straightening Ali (2 page)

“
I’m a free man, and in case you’ve forgotten, I’m over eighteen, and I don’t have to put up with this crap. I’m not this family’s property, which means you can’t go around setting up a wedding for me,” yelled Ali. “I’m not getting married. Not now! Not ever!”

“
Who the hell do you think you are?” Yasmin asked, her face darkening. “You’re not any different from Yunus and me. You forget that even though you wear your English clothes, live in Birmingham, and have had an English education, you still have Pakistani blood flowing through your veins. You might be living in England, but you are a Pakistani and a Muslim, too, so don’t you dare forget that. You’re a part of this family, and you will bloody well do as you’re told. It was our mother who gave birth to you. That woman sitting there,” yelled Yasmin pointing her finger dramatically at Ammi. “She deserves the right to see her youngest son married, settled and happy.”

Ammi sat on the brown leather couch looking sadly at her disobedient son. Since her husband had died, she had stopped dying her hair black. It was now gray but streaked with the occasional black strand. Her eyes were surrounded by wrinkles, but the rest of her face looked soft with a youthful zeal. She never wore make up and swore on the cream that she had imported from Pakistan for keeping her skin soft and wrinkle free. As a widow, she no longer wore brightly colored clothes and instead wore shades of white and cream.

She thumbed a necklace of wooden prayer beads in her hand while reciting a prayer as her daughter Yasmin explained Ali’s obligations to the family.

“
It was Ammi who carried you for nine months in her womb and raised you all these years. You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her. Don’t you think you owe her something? Or are you the ungrateful, selfish bastard that everyone thinks you are?”

“
I’m not ungrateful and I’ll contribute to this family in my own way, but I’m not contributing by getting married,” Ali said.

“
We’re your family, and you’ll bloody well listen to what we ask you to do!” Yasmin yelled back, her face showing a red flush.

“
It’s not something I want. If I’d wanted to get married, I would have told you. I can make decisions about my life, myself, without anyone interfering. I don’t need decisions about something as important as this made for me!” Ali said trying to remain calm.

“
We know what’s right for you. We’re the ones who know you best, sometimes better than you know yourself. We know what you want deep down, and we’ve done this for your benefit. Do you really want to grow old without any children to look after you? Who do you think is going to care for you in your old age?” asked Yasmin, her voice wavering, as if close to tears.

“
No one,” murmured Ali’s mother sadly. She counted through her prayer beads as she recited a prayer that she hoped would deliver Ali onto the right path.

“
No one else is going to care for you when you are old and feeble. Do you really want to go into an old people’s home, alone and helpless, or do you think your kafir friends are going to look after you?” Yasmin shouted as she worked herself back into an angry state.

“
I’ve told you all before that I don’t want to get married, and you know why I don’t,” Ali cried despairingly, not wanting to go back over old ground with them again.

“
Yes, we’ve all heard it from you before. Get the violins out! You think you’re gay. You’re confused. You’re unsure. So what? It does not stop you from getting married,” Yasmin insisted.

“
You’re not gay. You were studying. You became stressed out with your university work and found yourself thinking you’re attracted to men. You’re not attracted to men. How could you be? God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” Yunus laughed, thinking he’d said something clever. “Adam and Steve,” he repeated, laughing again.

“
Shut up,” Ali yelled at him angrily. Ali’s relationship with Yunus had never been good. They had nothing in common. Yunus was into macho pursuits like his car and the gym, and he had always found Ali to be a bit effeminate, even before Ali told the family he was gay. Since then, the relationship between them had deteriorated with Yunus behaving in an antagonistic and aggressive way towards him.

“
We are not going to shut up. We are your family. It’s us you need to be listening to. You listen too much to your white university friends. All of you trying so hard to be different. How can you expect them to understand your culture and your religion?” Yasmin asked angrily. “Just stop listening to your friends and listen to your family. Think for yourself, be your own man. Being gay is sinful in our religion. Forget about it. Get married and leave this life you’ve been leading in the past. Islam will forgive you.”

“
Think for myself? Be my own man? How can you say that when you’ve just arranged my wedding without asking me? You know I’m gay, so how can you expect me to get married?” Ali said, bewildered by her conflicting attitude.

Yasmin was the only person in the family who practiced a fundamentalist form of Islam. She had done so since she came back from Coventry University, having joined the Islamic Society while studying there. She never left the house without wearing her hijab, and every so often came out with a ruling decreed by the Islamic Society. Most recently, she had banned everyone, including Ammi, from watching
Eastenders
, simply because the Islamic Society believed it to be anti-Islamic.

“
You’re not gay. Stop believing what this kafir culture wants you to believe. You have always wanted children. Remember when you were little and you used to say you wanted six children. What’s changed now? Gays can’t have children. Do you really think two men can make babies? Your bum is for going to the toilet, not for making babies. It’s not natural. It’s perverted, and you’re not a pervert. In Islam, you would be stoned for being gay,” shrieked Yasmin.

“
Stop screaming at me, Yasmin. I don’t want any children. You’re all enough to put anyone off from having children for life. I don’t want to get married, so call it off if you want to see me again. If you don’t, I will move out and never come back,” Ali said. He felt sick at the thought of resorting to this threat, as he knew how it would make his mother feel, but he had no option other than to trade emotional blackmail with emotional blackmail.

There was shocked silence in the room. Both Ali’s mother and sister looked stunned, and even Yunus had wiped the inane smirk from his face.

“
Call it off? How could you ask that? We went and arranged it today! We can’t cancel it! Yunus, Mum and I went all the way to Nottingham to ask for Sajda’s hand in marriage, and she accepted. How do you think she will feel if we suddenly turn round and say that you don’t want to marry her?” asked Yasmin, her voice dropping to a whisper.

“
I don’t care how she feels. I don’t know her! Do any of you care about how I feel? Knowing that you’ve all gone behind my back and set up a wedding for me when I’ve told you so many times that I’m gay? You’ve had years to deal with it, but you still decide to marry me off,” Ali retorted angrily. “Don’t you think she needs to know that I’m gay before you go any further with this ridiculous plan?”

“
Ali, you have to marry her. It’s too late to back out now. Do you really want to be responsible for making so many people unhappy? You will destroy that young girl’s life and reputation if you don’t marry her. Do you think anyone else will want to marry her if you cancel the wedding? You will bring shame on both of our families,” Yasmin said, angry tears running from her eyes.

“
I don’t care! I don’t give a damn,” Ali replied crossly.

“
How could you say that Ali? How can you be so heartless and cruel? Ammi did not bring you up to be cruel. How could you hurt Sajda when she loves you so much?” asked Yasmin. She picked up the picture frame from the floor and shoved it in Ali’s face. “Look at her. She deserves better than this.”

"Sajda loves me so much?” exclaimed Ali sounding bewildered. “How can you say that she loves me when she doesn’t even know me? What are you all on?”

“
She loves you,” Ali’s mother replied. She had been crying silently. Her prayer beads had slipped from her hands and were lying on the floor. It was as if she had not expected this response from Ali. “She knew she was going to marry you for a long time. Her family has been waiting for us to ask for her hand in marriage. All of us knew you would both end up together, but we were waiting for the right moment.”

“
Ammi, why are we still talking to him and trying to get him to listen to reason? Let me break his legs,” said Yunus aggressively. “He never listens. A good beating will straighten him out and stop him playing with those white, batty boys.”

“
No, don’t touch my precious son. He has always been a good boy,” Ali’s mother said protectively, crying out in distress. “He will listen to me. Ali is a good boy, and good sons always listen to their mothers. He will make me proud.”

“
Look, everyone gets married Ali,” Yasmin said. “You’re behaving like a spoilt little child. You’ve obviously been speaking to your white friends, but they don’t know anything. They don’t understand our values, our beliefs, or our culture. So how can you listen to them and ignore what we have to say?”

“
My friends understand everything, and they even manage to accept me for who I am. Why can’t you do the same?” asked Ali.

“
Are any of these friends from Pakistani families? I don’t think so. I suppose there’s your best friend, Haseena, but that bitch knows nothing about her own culture. You’re Pakistani, a Muslim. We’ve always taught you to know better. You were brought up to respect your elders and to listen to them. What do you think dad would say if he was alive today? Dad would never have allowed you to behave like this,” Yasmin said, sounding exasperated. “He would have shipped you off to Pakistan, taken your passport, and married you off to some village idiot.”

“
I don’t care! You can’t run my life for me. This is not Pakistan,” Ali screamed back at her hysterically.

“
What are you trying to do Ali? Destroy our father’s memory? Dad would be so disappointed in you if he knew you were behaving like this. Don’t let dad down. Get married. He would have wanted this for you. He would have been so proud,” Yasmin said in earnest.

“
I’m not getting married,” Ali shouted again. “Why aren’t you listening to me? How many times do I have to repeat myself?”

“
Hush, hush,” Ali’s mother said gently. She muttered a prayer in Arabic and blew in Ali’s direction, as if to blow the goodness of the prayer over him. “Be a good boy, listen to your Ammi. Get married. You have always been my favorite son. You have always made me proud of everything you’ve done. Please don’t let me down now. If you don’t get married, it will kill me. I won’t be able to carry on anymore. The only thought that has kept me going since your father died is that you would get married and give me some grandchildren.” She burst into tears, sobbing loudly.

“
I’m diabetic and getting old. I don’t have many years ahead of me. I want to see some grandchildren from you. I want to see them before I die. Please, Ali, get married for my sake if no one else’s. I’m begging you. I’ll touch your feet, if that’s what you want me to do.” Ali’s mother fell onto her knees, dramatically prostrating herself in front of him. “Please get married,” she begged, grabbing onto his feet, tears streaming from her eyes.

“
Ammi, please don’t do this. You know I can’t get married, and I’ve told you why,” Ali said.

“
When you were little, you always said that you would get married when you grew up,” she whimpered, her breathing loud and hoarse between her words.

“
That was when I was little, Ammi. I’m grown up now, and I want different things. Please get up.” His mother ignored him, continuing to whimper and gasp for breath pathetically.

“
Look, I’m going. I can’t deal with all of you when you’re like this. I’ll stay over with one of my friends for a couple of days until you’ve all calmed down. Please cancel the wedding while I’m gone.” Ali headed for the door, pulling his feet out of his mothers grasp and trying to make a quick exit.

Yunus got to the door first and held it shut. “Where do you think you’re going? No one said you could leave, yet,” he said threateningly. He pushed Ali away from the door. “Listen to what we have to say. Stop being selfish, or I’ll break your legs you queer bastard! I’ve had an arranged marriage, and so will Yasmin, so why don’t you just agree and everything will be fine. You’ll be sorted for life or would you rather be a queer batty boy.”

“
Look what happened to your marriage, Yunus. She left you after two years. How can you want the same for me when you know that arranged marriages don’t work? Why are you interfering in my life? You’re no longer married, so why don’t you marry her yourself instead?” Ali suggested.

“
Don’t talk to me about my marriage you queer fucker,” Yunus yelled. He lunged at Ali and grabbed him by his crotch, squeezing Ali’s testicles hard. Ali winced in pain. “If you don’t listen to Ammi, I’ll rip these off for you! Then we’ll see how you like playing with your white bum boys.” He let go and punched Ali square in the face. “Sit down and listen like a good little boy.”