Straight to Heaven (18 page)

“I guess so,” J.T. said.

“I have to go now,” I said as I slid away from the fight. J.T. didn’t reply. He was too busy watching Harmony put William in a headlock.

Chapter Twelve

I charged through Miss Spry’s office door without waiting for an invitation. My demon overlord looked up from the papers she’d been reading and raised her eyebrows. “Lilith, civilized people knock first.”

I was too outraged to care. “Why did you take my assignment away from me?”

She frowned. “Your assignment? Do you mean Mr. Fuller?” When I nodded, she said, “He’s still your client. No one’s tempted him yet.”

“But you put William on the job!”

She set her papers aside. “Yes, I put William on the job, but you’re on as well. I need the man tempted, for hell’s sake. I don’t care who does it.”

“So why did Mr. Clerk send me a note telling me that my assignment had ended?”

Before Miss Spry could answer, William burst through the door. He’d resumed his natural shape, but there was a long cut above his left eyebrow, and blood ran down his forehead. There were peanut shells in his hair, and a beer stain on his shirt.

I glared at him. “Did you seduce those angels?”

He glowered back. “That was a dirty trick, Lilith! Those angels could have killed me.”

Miss Spry was looking less and less happy. “Neither of you has tempted Mr. Fuller yet, have you? You’re both failing me!”

“Helen, I swear I will make this temptation happen,” William said.

“See that you do,” she said, “or I’ll cancel
both
of your incentives. And to think Patrick wanted me to motivate my staff,” she muttered. “I’ve known for centuries that threats work so much better.”

“Wait, what?” I was astounded. “You offered William an incentive, too?”

“That’s none of your business,” William said.

“She did, didn’t she? If you seduce Craig, then Miss Spry will do something for you! That’s why you’re trying to steal my job!” I couldn’t believe it. Double-crossed by my own incubus counterpart! I hated them all. Miss Spry for letting William talk her into something that was supposed to be all mine. William for lying to me. And Mr. Clerk! He played into this as well. “William’s seducing Mr. Clerk,” I said. “That’s why I haven’t been able to do my job! They’re ganging up on me.”

Miss Spry rang a little silver bell on her desk. Immediately, Mr. Clerk appeared. His eyes were bleary, like he’d been sound asleep. He wore white drawstring pajama pants and a white T-shirt, and his hair was flattened down on one side. When he saw the cut on William’s face, he paled. “Are you all right? Here, sit down! Do you need stitches? A bandage?” He fluttered by William’s side, trying to drag him over to the couch.

William shook him off. “I’m fine.”

“How could you betray me?” I wailed to Mr. Clerk.

“Don’t be so melodramatic,” William said.

“Melodramatic?!” Finally, everything was making sense. “That’s why you sent me off on that phony golfing assignment, isn’t it? You wanted me out of the way so you could go to Craig’s barbeque!”

“I did what I had to.”

“Cheating? That’s what you had to do?”

“It was nothing personal.”

“Nothing personal! I was attacked by my fake client!”

Everyone began shouting. William and I crowded Miss Spry’s desk as if we were a pair of third-graders who wanted to tattle on each other. I shoved my hip against William’s, trying to push him out of Miss Spry’s line of sight while I pleaded my case and shouted curses at Mr. Clerk.

“
SILENCE
!!”

All of us went quiet. My heart beat in triple time, and Mr. Clerk retreated to a far corner of the room. Even William looked alarmed. Miss Spry had grown taller, sprouted horns and leathery wings, and was about ten seconds away from becoming fully demon.

“Do I have your attention?” she asked.

We all nodded.

“Good.” Slowly, her horns and wings retracted, and she settled back behind her desk. “First of all, Lilith, what I do is my own business. I wanted William on this job, so I put him on. End of story.”

“But which of us will get the incentive?” I asked.

“Whoever finishes the job first, of course,” Miss Spry said.

“That’s not fair,” I argued. “Mr. Clerk is in love with William! He’ll do whatever William tells him to.”

Mr. Clerk cleared his throat and tugged at the collar of his T-shirt. “Not in
love
. I’d never love anyone. You know that, Helen.” When she didn’t say anything, he changed tactics. “Besides, I’ve told you and told you: don’t pit the succubi against the incubi. It never works out. But did you listen to me? No! Now look at the mess you’ve made.” He threw up his hands in disgust. “If this project fails, then it’s all
your
fault.”

There was a moment of absolute silence. William and I looked at each other, shocked. Who knew that Mr. Clerk was capable of subversion? But there he stood, his fists clenched at his sides, his thin shoulders shaking with rage as he attempted to stare down his demon overlord.

Miss Spry smiled. “William, Lilith, will you please leave? I’d like a word alone with my assistant.”

She didn’t have to ask twice. I hurried from the office with William close behind.

I wanted to flee to the relative safety of my home, but I stayed in the hallway. After all, someone had to carry out Mr. Clerk’s ashes. “What do you think she’ll do to him?” I asked.

William shrugged. “Nothing too terrible. After all, good assistants are hard to come by.” He carefully touched the cut on his forehead and winced. “Maybe I should get this looked at.”

There was a muffled explosion that made the walls vibrate. Smoke curled from under the door to Miss Spry’s office.

William and I exchanged worried looks. “It seems she’s angrier than I thought,” William said.

“Do you think that we should go rescue him?”

“I wouldn’t recommend it.” William took a clean handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at the drying blood. “Not unless you’re willing to put yourself in the line of fire.”

A second blast made the floor pitch, tossing both William and I against the wall. Miss Spry’s door flew open, then slammed shut again, wrenching the hinges so hard that the door hung askew.

To my relief, Mr. Clerk appeared. The bottoms of his pajama pants were singed, and there was a black scorch mark across his T-shirt. His glasses dangled from one earpiece, and his eyes were wild and unfocused. His trembling lips formed soundless words.

“Mr. Clerk!” I said, alarmed. “Are you all right?”

William put his arm around Mr. Clerk and deftly guided him down the hallway. “Open his office door, Lil, so that we can get him inside.”

Mr. Clerk ignored me, but ate up William’s attention like it was candy. He leaned his head on William’s shoulder. “It was terrible. I thought she would annihilate me.”

“So did we,” I said.

When we made it into the office, Mr. Clerk took a seat behind his desk, and ran his fingers through his thin hair. “Helen wants me back to work on this immediately. No more excuses.”

“Why does she care so much about this assignment?” I asked. “What makes Craig so important?”

“I think I know,” William said. “She made a bet, didn’t she? With
Him
.”

Mr. Clerk nodded miserably.

“Miss Spry made a bet with
God
about Craig?” I asked, shocked. No wonder she wanted to win my client over.

“Your little stunt of visiting
Him
created a big stir in both camps, Lilith.” Mr. Clerk kept his voice very low and anxiously eyed the door as if worried Miss Spry would walk in at any moment. “You’ve upset the balance.”

A few months ago, I’d been so overwhelmed by my new position as a succubus that I’d done the unthinkable and tried to get God to bail me out. Unfortunately, it hadn’t done anything but get me into a lot of trouble with Miss Spry.

“They didn’t like me visiting Heaven?”

“You never visited Heaven, Lilith. No demon can do that. You met on neutral ground. It was your
conversation
with Him that’s upset things.”

I was about to correct Mr. Clerk by explaining that I really could visit Heaven, but changed my mind when I realized that it would probably get me into more trouble. Instead, I said, “What did she bet?”

His mouth tightened. “She’s put up something that she doesn’t really value. It’s not the thing they bet on that’s important, though. What really worries her is that
He
might win.” He bit his lip as he considered the blueprint before him. “She’s very upset.”

“Really? I had no idea,” William said dryly.

Mr. Clerk straightened his glasses. “We all stand to lose if this man isn’t won over to our side, but so far, nothing I’ve done has worked. No matter how Helen and I try to make Mr. Fuller’s life miserable and separate him from his friends, he keeps wandering back into the enemy’s camp.”

“It’s that angel’s fault,” I said, annoyed. “Harmony. The irritating little wench.”

Mr. Clerk gave me a sharp look. “Did you say
Harmony
?”

I nodded. “Yes. Do you know her? She’s about my height, blonde hair, blue eyes…”

“Yes, yes, we’ve met.” He looked even more troubled. “She’s passionate about her work, but still very young and impressionable.”

William’s eyes twinkled. “Young and impressionable? Maybe I should seduce her.”

For a moment, Mr. Clerk’s eyes blazed. “Don’t you dare!” Then, seeing our shocked expressions, he cleared his throat and added lamely, “It wouldn’t work.”

“Besides, William, you already tried that once today, and look what it got you.” I pointed to the cut on his forehead.

William gave me a sour look and didn’t reply.

Mr. Clerk spread Craig’s chart out on his desk and laid J.T.’s transparency on top of it. “I see a few possibilities,” he said, “but it will take a while to figure them out and get a new assignment.”

“Be sure you tell me about it before you tell
him
.” I glared at William. “After all, Craig was
my
client first.”

William put his hand on Mr. Clerk’s shoulder. “Now, Lilith, don’t put too much pressure on Patrick. Can’t you see that he’s already under a lot of stress?”

Mr. Clerk beamed at him. “Thank you for understanding, William. Now if you two would leave me alone, I can get to work.”

“Of course,” William said, giving Mr. Clerk a warm smile. I frowned at William and made gagging noises. Not that either of them cared.

So now, not only did I have to worry about the angels, I had to compete with William as well.

Terrific.

It was time to go on the offensive. Reasoning with the angels hadn’t worked, but maybe it would with William. If I could tap into his vulnerable human side, maybe I could play on his sympathies and get him to drop out of the contest.

William had disappeared the moment we’d left Mr. Clerk’s office, but I reached out with my succubus. Come out, come out wherever you are, William, I thought. Although it took longer than it had for the others, my demon finally found him.

He was shooting pool in a shadowy room that looked like a set from a gangster movie. There was a bar with leather padded stools along one wall, and lights in green glass shades overhead. The place stank of spilled beer and cigar smoke. Standing around the pool table were a number of men leaning on their cues. I even recognized the pair of demons in the trench coats and fedoras from the wanted posters back in Heaven. At the sight of me, several men came to attention, automatically reaching for the guns at their hips.

William made his shot and stood up. “Relax. She’s with me.”

“I might have known,” said one of the men, giving me a long, appraising look.

William took my elbow and led me through a door and into a dimly-lit back alley that reeked of old piss and garbage. It was chilly here, and a slight breeze raised gooseflesh on my arms. The black pavement shimmered as if it had recently rained.

Before I could begin my logical argument on why I should win the competition, William took control. He backed me up against the alley wall and began running his hands up and down my arms. He moved in so close that I could smell whiskey on his breath. “Have you come for a little fun?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?” He gently imprisoned my wrists. Then, using a little more force, he lifted my hands above my head, pressing them against the wall. He kissed the sensitive undersides of my arms.

I ordered myself to stay focused. I wasn’t there to succumb to William’s demon; I was there to make a deal. Remembering that, I attempted a smile. It probably wasn’t very convincing, but it was a start. “So you made your own arrangement with Miss Spry?” I asked.

“Yes.” He traced my collar bone with his tongue. I closed my eyes and moaned without meaning to. William’s incubus was finding all the cracks in my resistance and prying them apart. My primitive urges were rapidly eclipsing my higher functions. Logical thought was disintegrating.

I struggled to keep my mission first and foremost in my mind and once more attempted to tap into William’s human side. “Miss Spry promised to amend my contract so that Grace won’t have to take my place,” I said. “I want to save my daughter. I
need
to save her. You can understand that, right?”

“Of course, but it’s not going to stop me from winning.” Without missing a beat, William moved to the underside of my jaw, teasing me by refusing to kiss me on the lips. My knees were so weak that he was the only thing keeping me upright. The way William was both restraining and arousing me played into one of my darker fantasies. If he started talking like a pirate, I’d cave in completely.

It was time to turn the tables on him. I moved closer and put my hands on his chest, turning my charm up to full shine. Apparently, he found me as irresistible as I found him because he made a quiet noise of appreciation and slipped his arms around my waist. “I love your new look, Lilith,” he said. “It makes you look like a bad, bad girl.” His fingers stroked the spot at the base of my spine where the tramp stamp had appeared.

“Tell me about your deal,” I said. “What did you ask Miss Spry for?”

“It’s private,” he said.