Stormy Haven (26 page)

She stood up with a sigh and opened the door. He was pale, his eyes unable to meet hers. Gently, he grasped her arm, drew her into the corridor.

“
Come and sit down,
”
he pleaded.

She knew a sudden and sickening sensation.
“
What is it?
”

“
I
’
ve had a letter from Stephen,
”
he said.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

She sat very upright
and still in the tapestry chair he had pushed forward, and stared up at him with eyes that were huge in the pallor of her face.

“
May I
... read the letter?
”

He was more outwardly distressed than she.
“
I don
’
t think you should. He merely asked me to tell you that it
’
s all over between you and him. I
’
d have given all I own not to be the one to bring you such news!
”

“
You mustn
’
t be upset over it,
”
she said, dazedly aware that it was unnecessary to cause pain to anyone else.
“
I... I
’
ve known this all along, really.
”
She gave a tiny, broken laugh.
“
Stephen and
I
...
we
’
re not in the least suited to each other.
”

“
Don
’
t say that!
”

“
It
’
s true. You must have seen it.
”
She had to pause and swallow.
“
What was the date on the letter?
”

“
It was mailed three weeks ago.
”

“
In Alexandria?
”

He nodded.
“
He says he
’
s finished with the jungle.
”

“
I
suppose he
’
ll be
... going home.
”
Her teeth held on to her lower lip for a second, to still its trembling. Then,
“
Has he written to you before, Colin?
”

“
Not once,
I
swear it.
”

“
That
’
s all right.
”
Again the short, heart
-
wrenching laugh.
“
I
only wondered why he should write to you now. It isn
’
t like him to go in for roundabout methods, and you and he weren
’
t so chummy that he
’
d get you to turn his girl down for him.
I
don
’
t suppose he made any of the hackneyed excuses like
... not being in love with me any longer? That wouldn
’
t be really comical.
”

“
Melanie, don
’
t,
”
he implored her.
“
I
’
d a thousand times rather you cried.
”

“
I don
’
t want to cry. There
’
s nothing to cry about. I
’
m
only curious to know if he gave any reasons, and why he didn
’
t write directly to me.
”

With a half-desperate gesture he dragged the letter from his pocket.
“
You
’
d better read it!
”
he said, and walked across the room.

The sight of Stephen
’
s handwriting steadied her, though a minute or two passed before she could separate the words and give them sense.

I have to admit, Colin, that I
’
ve used you rather badly. When, before I left Mindoa, I extracted a promise from you that you would do your best for Melanie, I was depending on the age-old trick working once more; I took advantage of your rather extreme code of honor and left you, so to speak, with your hands tied. There
’
s no one so trustworthy as he who has pledged himself to safeguard a woman for a friend. I
’
m sure you
’
ve kept rigidly to the letter of your promise, if not to the spirit.

This is to tell you that from now on you
’
re free of any obligation toward me. Melanie is too young for me. We couldn
’
t possibly make each other happy, and after all, that
’
s the first objective of marriage. I leave it to you to put it in the least disturbing way. Tell her that my job means too much to me—that there
’
s another woman—tell her anything that will convince her of my utter unworthiness. Somehow, I don
’
t think you will find it difficult
—”

Melanie
’
s fortitude did not take her far beyond that. The letter fluttered to the floor and her hands tightened one over the other in her lap.

“
Colin,
”
she said on a dry, quiet note,
“
did he ask you to
...
take care of me?
’

He swung around from the window, almost angrily.
“
Yes, he did. If I hadn
’
t been slightly in awe of him I
’
d have demanded why he wouldn
’
t take
you with him. But Stephen had a way of squashing criticism before it could be voiced. His arrogance made everyone else believe he was right. He
’
s a selfish cad!
”

“
He
’
s just
...
Stephen.
”
She was standing, and adding in the same toneless voice,
“
It was good of you to come, Colin. Don
’
t be sorry for me. This isn
’
t tragic news, only a confirmation of something I knew already. But if you don
’
t mind, we
’
ll keep it from Lucille and Henry.
”

“
Of course,
”
he said a trifle hoarsely.

“
Thank you.
”
She contrived a ghostly smile and went back to her room.

For a few days she wondered how other women bore such blows. Both body and spirit were laden and a definite physical pain was lodged in her heart. She worked tirelessly, yet scarcely understood what she wrote. She was never in bed for longer than three or four hours each night, and dawn found her on the beach, shedding her beach jacket, wading into the night-cooled sea and swimming into oblivion.

Colin did not come to the plantation that weekend. Probably got someone to give him a game of golf, surmised Henry. After dinner on Sunday evening Melanie showed them the last pages of the chronicles.

“
My contract has about three days to run,
”
she said with a pale smile.
“
Tomorrow I shall arrange my passage home.
”

“
Oh, but no!
”
cried Lucille.
“
You must stay to see the copy bound and handed over. There
’
ll be some pomp and ceremony, and you should have your part in it. We want you to remain with us as a guest for a while.
”

“
I can
’
t. There
’
s no place for me on Mindoa, and even if there were, I
’
d rather go. You and Henry have been kind—the best friends I
’
ve ever had—but I have to leave.
”

“
Are you quite certain you couldn
’
t settle here?
”
Lucille demanded earnestly.

“
Quite certain,
”
she echoed evenly.

“
You can
’
t slide completely out of our sight,
”
said Henry firmly.
“
Sometime you
’
ll come back.
”

“
I hope so.
”
But the possibility was too nebulous for serious contemplation.

Nothing was said about Stephen. They chatted rather sadly of the past months, about her cousin, John, and whatever else occurred to them, and eventually went quickly to bed. Because it might be dangerous and agonizing to Melanie if they probed below the surface, they were sorrowfully calm and acquiescent.

The shipping agent, when she consulted him on Monday, could offer her a berth on a boat sailing from Bombay in fifteen days. She would have to leave the island as others did,
in one of the cargo vessels. The freighters were all fitted with a few cabins and she would find the trip agreeable if the seas were not too heavy. It was usual to pay the whole cost of the journey to Bombay and a proportion of the passage to England. Melanie paid and thrust into her bag the papers and labels he had given her.

She got the servant, Hussim, to clean her cases, and Henry made her a strong wooden box to take the overflow of oddments that she had acquired on the island.

Lucille wept over the completed pile of manuscript, and the next day she handed Melanie a check for two hundred pounds.

“
Don
’
t thank me! The money was never mine. If you don
’
t believe me I
’
ll take you to a lawyer and he
’
ll produce a copy of my father
’
s will. That
’
s the correct payment for a handwritten copy of the papers, and not a penny too much, in my opinion. It will be easier for you if you cash the check at once, and change it into English money. Please, Melanie, no protests!
”

A few months ago Melanie would have been afraid to carry so much cash on her person, but it is an irrefutable fact that when the feelings are numbed one
’
s financial state loses all importance. The notes were sealed in an envelope and carelessly placed with her passport and other documents in her bag.

Her last week on Mindoa was the longest Melanie had ever battled through. Her departure hung over the house like a vast shadow, yet Mindoa chose to display her fairest moods. The wind had softened into a cool breeze, flowers and trees were exotically perfect, and in spite of past storms and rending winds, the crops were more abundant than in any previous year. Harvesters worked among the cane and the coffee trees, the leaf pickers were busy among the tobacco and in the curing hut, and there were so many thousands of surplus blossoms on Lucille
’
s essence-bearing plants that the distillery could not cope with them.

The sea glittered and seductively curled over the beach. The reef, clean pink and white islands where slim brown fishermen mended and made use of their nets, was painfully familiar and beautiful.

Melanie had a last look at the reef from a long promontory near the village of Pirree, the morning before she sailed. Colin
had taken her there, a morose, resigned Colin who now sat with her on the grass under a tree, and moodily stripped a blade of coarse grass.

He sighed, flicked impatiently at his sandy hair.
“
Lucille always says that people come into one
’
s life for
a purpose, and that often when the purpose is accomplished they go their way. I wish I could fathom why you came into my life, Melanie.
”

“
I
did help to plaster your wall,
”
she said, with an attempt at flippancy.

“
Were you meant to shake me out of my complacency?
”
he queried, as if continuing to muse.
“
Or to ennoble my character? I don
’
t feel a bit noble.
”

“
Perhaps of the two of us I was the only one destined to reap benefits. We
’
ve had fun together and you
’
ve been wonderfully good for me.
”

“
What will you do in England?
”

“
Consult the want ads and land a job.
”

“
What sort of job?
”

“
I don
’
t know. It doesn
’
t matter.
”

“
Where will you live?
”

“
I
’
ll try a hostel first.
”