Storm (Devil's Hornets MC) (18 page)

“Jack, is that you?” Sarah Storm sat in the dim room looking like a ghost, and since he was drunk and in a large amount of pain, he thought it was just his imagination getting the better of him, so he didn’t answer. She clicked on the lamp next to her, and the room lit up to hurt his eyes.

Why in the world was his mother up at this time of night and why was she sitting in his living room? It was true that their houses were connected, but she’d never done this before.

“Yes, Ma, it’s me. What are you doing here?” The lights had been low when he walked in, and he wondered if she just decided to sleep here until he’d gotten back. It was after 4 in the morning, and she should have been sleeping for so long it should have been time for her to almost get up.

“I’m worried about you,” she said as she stared at him and made him feel like a teenager caught outside after curfew. His mother always worried about him, and it was her right and duty as a mother, but she must think she has more reason to do so since she went to great lengths to talk to him. He didn’t want to tell her that she was right. There were many reasons to worry about him, but the way he worked with his mother was not to let her see his pain. It had been that way since he was a child. When she thought he was upset, she got upset. There was no way he was going to let her be upset because of him.

“I’m all right. There is no reason for you to miss your bed to talk to me. You should have let me know you wanted something. I would have made time to talk to you when I got up.” Jack didn’t want his mother to focus on his face. He’d won the fight battle tonight, but he intentionally got hit a few times because he wanted to feel something. Pain. Agony and discomfort that would simulate the pain he had caused Natalie.

“You walk around here in a daze, and you think I don’t know anything. It’s been a good long while since that Natalie has been here. You were a different person when she was in your life.” She was good at the stare. He didn’t know if it was a mother thing or if it was just his mother was good at it. It seemed like she could figure out the world just by looking at him. That was probably the reason he had made it a point to talk to her on his way out and not make any real eye contact. That was probably damning in and of itself.

“I really don’t want to talk about this right now,” Jack said to the woman he told everything but his illegal activities to. He hated when she was quietly assessing him, and he knew the reason why he hated it. There were things he didn’t want his mother to see or know about him and how he was feeling, or what he was going through. He knew she was aware he was hurting, but since it had never been like this and he didn’t want to affect her, he was going to keep her in the dark as long as he could. It was just like when he was a child; there was no need for both of them to be upset.

“I’m sure you don’t want to but you need to. You know I haven’t been feeling well, and worrying about you isn’t helping. You walk around here like a ghost. I can see you’ve been losing weight, and you’ve been drinking more and who knows what else you’ve been up to.” She turned on the lamp that was on the stand next to her, and her gasp filled the room. “What the hell happened to you?”

“Nothing. It was just a small altercation with a friend, a game really.” He knew what he looked like from when he previously fought and how his face felt. It would look bad for a bit, but he’d recover. It wasn’t like he was concerned about his looks. At least this way, the way he looked mirrored the way he felt.

“You’ve gone back to fighting? You haven’t done that in years, and there is a good reason for that.” She looked at his face, and he could see the tears in her eyes. He knew she didn’t approve of the fighting or the drinking but he was drowning quickly, and he didn’t know how to stop it. Jack only knew that he couldn’t let Natalie down again. She was abducted, raped, and had to witness a near murder all because she’d hooked up with the likes of him. The first night when he’d protected her from being attacked when she was mugged by one of the Hornet’s greatest drug customers, he did his best to leave her alone. Not even offering his name although she asked for it and was trying to give him a lot more in gratitude for his help. It was the only way he could think of to keep her away from him and out of harm’s way… the fact that he walked into her flower shop not 12 hours after was nothing, if not fate.

“I have only done it a few times, and I’m not promising that it will be the last time. I enjoy it. It keeps me in shape, and I enjoy it.” That wasn’t a lie; he did enjoy it, or rather he needed it to keep his sanity. She didn’t have to know that part though. Once he was in the makeshift ring they’d put together at the club house, he was focused on beating up the opponent and keeping himself relatively free from being punched. Ruthless must have known he’d need some competition because the brute he’d brought out to fight him was bigger and meaner looking than he was. Jack said a short prayer that the man was as tough as he portrayed himself to be because he was going to need it. At the end of the fight, Jack was sorry that he’d been paired up with the big guy. Knocking down confidence wasn’t what he was into, but this guy had just gotten paired up with someone who wanted to let out the anger that had been building inside of him. There was a lot in there and, unfortunately, it remained where it was. It was banked now at a low simmer, but Jack knew that it wouldn’t remain there.

“The drinking, the drugs, and the fighting are too much. I don’t want to lose you, Jack. Don’t think I don’t realize that you joined the motorcycle gang—” His mother had always turned a blind eye to what was going on even though he knew she had to know about it. No one makes as much as he was bringing home doing a paper route or running errands for the man at the corner store. They acted like it was a legitimate job he had, and that was the way it would stay. As he’d gotten older, it became clearer that something was going on, and she would tease him jokingly.

“It’s a club, Ma,” he interjected. She always thought of it as a gang, and she was probably right, but he didn’t want to think of it that way.

“Whatever you want to call it is fine with me, but a ‘club’ that goes around protecting businesses, selling drugs and cleaning money is a gang not a club, but back to what I was saying. You joined because we needed money. I know that, and as much as I was grateful that you did that, I’ve felt awful that you needed to do it. You were really forced into a life of crime, and I reaped the benefits. I’m a horrible mother.” She stood up from the couch and walked over to touch his face. “Look at what I’ve done to you.”

“You didn’t do this, and I was happy to go to work. I’ve enjoyed being able to supply you with the lifestyle you always should have had.” Jack didn’t want or need anything else piled on his shoulders. This wasn’t the time for his mother to suddenly come to the realization that his childhood was not normal and want to talk it out. This was the time for silence and keeping things the status quo, the way it’s always been. Not that he would ever tell his mother that. She could do whatever she wanted, and he’d still make sure she had whatever she needed and wanted.

“Your face is a mess, and so is your life. Whatever you did to Natalie couldn’t be that bad. Go make up with her and get the small piece of happiness that you had back. A blind man can see you’re spiraling out of control without her.” She wanted him to get happy too and that’s exactly what he wanted, but there were reasons he couldn’t have what he wanted. Did she think he wanted to be unhappy? He wouldn’t risk his mother’s life, and he wouldn’t risk Natalie’s either.

“Thanks, Ma,” he said sarcastically because he knew it would make her laugh. “There are things you know that I didn’t know you knew, and there are also things you don’t know about. Natalie and I fall into that category. So let’s just leave that alone.”

The look on his mother’s face had gone from playful to panic. All the color had drained from her face, and it was like she was in a great amount of pain. He walked her to the couch and sat her down.

“What’s the matter?” Jack had never seen this particular look cross his mother’s face and since he ran his life knowing his mother’s every need, that made him concerned. Was it what he’d said to her? Is that what did her in? If that was what it was, he’d never forgive himself.

“I don’t know, Jackie, but my chest feels like the house fell on it. I can barely breathe.” She was holding on to her chest like there was something there that needed to be moved, and he practically forgot everything he needed to do.

Jack hoped it wasn’t what he thought it was, but he called the emergency service to come and check her out.

It felt like forever before the ambulance got there, but he gave his mother a baby aspirin just in case it was a stroke. He’d read that you were supposed to do that, and he wanted his mother to get the best chance at survival as she could. Even if it wasn’t a stroke, what harm could a baby aspirin do? Watching the medics work on his mother was a surreal experience, and he wanted nothing more than to share this with Natalie, but this was the bed of rocks he’d made for himself to lie on.

“It looks like she may have had a stroke. We are going to take her to the hospital, and if you want to follow us to Suburban General Medical we’ll meet you there. You have a few minutes to get anything you need together since it’s going to take us a while to get there and get her checked in.” The short man in white talked quickly, and Jack felt like he was in a daze.

“A stroke?” Jack mimicked like a parrot. Nothing made any sense, and everything made sense, but he followed the man toward the door.

“It’s not for certain, but I’d put my money on it.” The man was leading his mother out the door on a stretcher but nodded to him as he left.

His life was going from bad to worse, and the fight that had given him some solace had been for nothing because if he lost his mother right now, he was really going to spiral into the darkness. He’d never claimed depression as it sounded too punk ass to him, but this deal with Natalie was really taking its toll on him.

Now wasn’t the time for reflection and deep thoughts; it was time for action. He had to get to the hospital to be by his mother’s side and hope and pray for the best. He gathered his phone, his keys, and his wallet before locking up both of their houses. When it rains it pours… His mother always used to say that, and he never really thought about what that meant, but today it made sense. It wasn’t just raining in his life; there were tornados, floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, avalanches, and volcano eruptions going on, and if it didn’t stop, he didn’t know what would happen.

She should get an award for getting past the 10 week mark. Natalie was sprucing up the shop and thinking that she would make it without Jack. It didn’t matter why he’d left; the fact was he did, and she was going to make it without him. She’d been on plenty of dates to know she wasn’t ready. They were all just substitutes for Jack, so they could never measure up. She hadn’t made it to the third date with any of the guys, and after the fourth one, she kind of gave up. She could hang out by herself; she’d been doing it for years, and she found herself great company. There were times when she didn’t want to be alone, but she dealt with it, and there were times where she didn’t want to do anything but cry and masturbate. Two things that don’t really seem to go together, but when she was in the moment, they really did.

“Busy day today?” Billy came out of the back with his list of things to do. He was a god send for her feelings of security and his help in the shop. The large man didn’t look like he’d do well in a flower shop, but he was actually quite talented with putting arrangements together and setting up delivery.

“It looks like it. Ever since I’ve joined forces with The Devil’s Hornets, business has been looking up.” There was an art to looking like you were feeling good and doing productive things, and she had definitely mastered that. Not that she could use it on a resume unless she was working toward getting an academy award, but it was a skill she could add to her set.

“Jack made sure to tell us all if we needed flowers we had to get them from here. Bossy son of a bitch,” Billy chuckled a bit before he seemed to remember something. “Sorry, Natalie. I didn’t mean to bring him up.”

There were times when she felt like she had turned a corner and was truly over him but then reality slapped her in the face like a club girl in a cat fight, and she knew she was only fooling herself. She was in deep with Jack, and as much as it pained her to think about what would happen if he came running back to her, she couldn’t say she wouldn’t take him back. Pathetic. She guessed it was a good thing she wasn’t going to have to worry about that because he wasn’t coming back. That was apparent. That dream should be packed up and shipped out already, but her dumb heart was hanging on to the bastard.

“Since we’re on the topic of him though, you got an order yesterday. Along with the order was a request that you deliver it personally.” Billy never asked her to go on deliveries, and she thought it was because he knew she was fearful of who would request something like that. With what had happened to her in the past few weeks, she had turned from a carefree, slightly adventurous woman to a frightened one hoping she wouldn’t get killed every other minute.

“I don’t usually do deliveries.” She tried to keep the tone light, but she wondered about Billy’s intuitive skills. Maybe they weren’t as good as she thought they were.

“I know you don’t, but this order came from Jack’s mom. She’s in the hospital and wanted some Gerbera Daisies for her room.” Billy was quiet, and her mind spun out. Jack would be devastated with his mother in the hospital. He’d told her the reasons why he was even with the Devil’s Hornet’s in the first place, and the biggest one was his mother. She wondered if her son would be there or if she just wanted to see a friendly face. It wasn’t like she’d talked with the woman for more than 5 minutes, even though technically they stayed in the same house.

“How’s his mother doing?” Natalie asked, wondering what she was going to encounter when she got to the hospital.

“Ms. Storm is doing really well. They hope she’ll be able to get out of rehab really soon. She had a heart attack and a small stroke, but that woman is a fighter. I have no doubt she’ll be up and running in no time.” Billy’s voice was happy and positive when he talked about the woman. She could tell the woman had made a great impression on him. That was a great thing, but that still didn’t tell her why she wanted to have a talk with her.

“How’s he doing?” Natalie said quietly before she looked at Billy. Because he was somewhat of an observer, it was easier to get more out of his facial expression and body language than what he actually said. It took him a long time to answer, so she really stood back and looked for the signs that would tell him what his words would not.

She was right because out of his mouth came, “All right,” but the shrug and the slight frown said something different.

“That’s all you’re going to give me? She’s been in the hospital for how long, and I didn’t even know about it. Jack has to be going crazy knowing that his mother is somewhere he can’t protect her. I know you know what’s going on, Billy, and I don’t like that you won’t tell me.” Natalie didn’t know if this was going to work or not, but she knew she wanted to find out how Jack was.

“Don’t be trying to go over there and comfort that man. He’s got to get to where he needs to be just like you’re doing. His mother’s been in the hospital and then rehab for almost a month, and you’ve heard nothing from him.” Billy rarely showed any emotion at all beside happy and hungry. The man brought a cooler that would feed a group of 6 at a tailgating party. This hostility toward someone she thought he was a friend to was odd, but she wanted to tell him what she thought.

“That doesn’t mean he doesn’t need me. This has got to be hard for him.” Natalie couldn’t believe that Billy was being so mean to a man she thought was his friend.

He walked over to her and looked at her face like he was trying to get his words together. She knew that he didn’t speak much and that he stumbled over words when he didn’t concentrate on them fully, but he was doing really well today. He wasn’t stuttering or stammering at all.

“I’m not saying that he doesn’t need you or that it’s not hard for him, but I am saying that it’s been hard for you too and you needed him for a spell as well. For whatever reason he’s not been here with you is his own, but he’s a big boy and will be alright. You’ve cried enough over him, and it’s good to see you opening up enough to date.” Billy walked away straightening up arrangements and trying to get himself out of the emotional tirade he’d put himself in. She didn’t know how he found out she had gone on a few dates and had to mentally shake herself before she asked him if he’d told Jack about that. That little spell was over, and she wondered if he knew that too.

Natalie didn’t know how to respond to any of the things that Billy said to her. Yes, she had been through a lot with him and for him, but she knew this was tough, and she didn’t want him to go through it alone. Maybe Billy was trying to tell her that Jack wasn’t alone. It wouldn’t be a stretch for him to get someone else, and she was stupid because that thought was like knives going through her, it hurt so badly. She was so torn. It was like she was in the dark when everyone else had a flash light. People would give her glimpses of the picture, but she didn’t know what was really going on.

“I’ve got a soft spot for his mother though. She hasn’t ever been to the club, but I’ve been to their house a few times, she always has a nice word for me, and I feel welcomed in her house. It’s more than my mother ever did for me.” Billy seemed to shake that information off as he went into his next bout of conversation. Natalie didn’t think she’d ever heard him talk so much. “She asked if you could bring a flower arrangement to her in the rehabilitation hospital today, and I’d appreciate it if you’d do that for her. I’d consider it a personal favor.” Billy looked sincere, and they both knew she was going to do it. There was no need for the man to start calling in favors, but she guessed he wanted her to know how important it was to him.

“Did she ask for a flower arrangement from this shop, or did she ask for me to come, specifically?” Natalie wanted so badly for him to say the woman wanted flowers even though it couldn’t have been true because there had been so many arrangements sent over there from the shop, the place could probably open their own shop with her flowers.

“She asked for you, Natalie,” Billy said, never breaking eye contact with her.

Natalie knew Billy wouldn’t have asked her to do this if it wasn’t important to him, so she didn’t feel like she could say no, but just the thought of seeing the man who had wrapped himself around her heart but was able to turn away from what they had without a fight made her stomach queasy. The look on his face was expectant, so she knew he realized what he was asking and knew there was a risk that she’d say no. They stood there in silence with both of them looking at the other. She didn’t know exactly what he was thinking, but she was hoping he’d say ‘never mind.’ It didn’t look like that was going to happen. Billy had done so much for her in terms of making her feel comfortable enough to walk into her shop and all the man hours he’d put in since she’d come back.

“Did she say what kind of flowers do you think she’d like?” Natalie looked away from Billy and his earnest expression. Now that she promised she’d do it, she wanted to get it over with quickly.

“She likes to keep it simple, so how about I make her a daisy bouquet? I think she’d really like that.” Billy was off to search for the perfect vase and daisies to make his vision a reality, and Natalie was stuck wondering what was going on in her life.