storm (31 page)

            “Don't you like him?”

            Ember uttered a caustic laugh.  “It's not what
I
think.”

            “Meaning?”

            “I'm sick of hearing you talk about him, that's all.  It's boring.  Anyhar can see what he wants, but if you think anything will come of it, you're mad.”

            “You're jealous!”

            “Maybe I have reason to be.”

            Moon got out of bed.  “This is ridiculous, Ember.  Stop it.  Terez's visit is important to Snake.  It means a lot to him.  I can't believe you're trying to make things more difficult, when they're difficult enough as it is.”  He regretted his harsh tone, because he noticed Ember was close to tears.  “What are you so afraid of?  This doesn't affect us.”

            “You don't know how much I care for you, Moon.  I'm scared these hara will take you away.”

            “Why would they do that?”

            “I think they're Gelaming, and you're too blind to see it.  Everyhar is suspicious of them but for you and Snake.  I think the Tigron has sent them.  They're bewitching you, and even Snake.  I can see it happening before my eyes, and I'm powerless.”

            “I'm not going anywhere,” Moon said, then paused.  “Even if I ever did, there's no reason why you can't come with me.”

            “Oh yes there is,” Ember said in a low voice.  “If you can't see that, you're deluding yourself.”

            Moon sighed deeply.  “Ember, come here.  Stop torturing yourself.”  He took Ember in his arms and kissed his face.  “I'm here.  I care for you too.”

            Ember was feeling needy.  He wanted contact and clung to Moon as if he was hanging on to life itself.  Moon tried to comfort him in the only way he knew how, but it felt like a lie.  Ember lay beneath him, passive and fragile, and Moon was ouana, supposedly to bring strength, but his mind was somewhere high up above the Reliquary, soaring in the pearly dawn sky on sun-tipped wings.  From up there, the world was so big and clear.  It wasn't gritty or musty or dark.  Ember's need was a smell, hot and salty.  His fear was sweat and fingers that clutched too tightly.  Moon found himself thinking of Pellaz and how Tyson had told him he looked so much like the Tigron.  There was power in that idea and a certain amount of pride.  He wanted to be stolen away by a beautiful har and made into a king.  It was the best fantasy.

            Moon knew that he should indulge Ember and spend the day alone with him.  After all, chances were that Snake would refuse to meet Pellaz, and then Tyson and Terez would go away.  The dreadful fears Snake had had about being kidnapped by Gelaming seemed absurd now.  It was obvious Terez was simply trying to persuade his brother to help him, and that there was no grand plan to whisk him away from his clan, never to be seen again.  In any case, Moon was sure that Tyson would not be around for long and wanted to be with him while the chance was still there.  He could tell that Tyson liked him, but believed the older har would make no move towards him because of his age and because he was Snake's son.  That didn't matter.  Simply being near Tyson was enough.  It was difficult not to resent Ember for his neediness and insecurity.

            They walked out of the city into what had once been suburbs but was mostly now wilderness.  It was a beautiful fall day, the sunlight mellow gold and the trees in full festival costume.  Ember wouldn't leave Moon alone, as if he was trying to imprint himself on the very core of Moon's being.  He couldn't tell that his attempts to rekindle their closeness were only driving Moon further away.  All Moon could think about was Tyson: his sinewy wrists golden against the white of his shirt, his beautiful hands, the way he smiled so wide, so that one cheek dimpled.  He was the image of his hostling, Cal: Snake had said so.  Moon lay in damp grass, endure whatever Ember wanted them to do, because at the end of this day was a return to the Reliquary and the chance that Tyson would be there.  The possibility that he might not be made the anticipation all the more exquisite.

            Ember wanted Moon to return to the Firedog clan house with him for the evening mean, but Moon made up a lie about how Snake had told him he must eat with himself and Terez that night.

            “Will the other one be there?” Ember asked sharply.

            “How should I know?” Moon replied.  “He's been wandering around on his own all day.”

            These words only kindled a desire in Ember for more aruna.  At this point, Moon had to shake him off.  “I have to get back.  It's late.”

            “Do you love me, Moon?”

            “What?  Oh please, Ember, don't do this.  Don't claw at me like this.”

            “I guess that's my answer, then.”

            “All right.  I love you.  Do you feel better now?”

            “I don't know.  Those are just words.”

            “Exactly.  We've been together for months.  Doesn't that say enough?”

            This seemed to satisfy Ember, because his mood improved.  On the way home, he chattered on about plans for the future, which were not big plans, but involved trips out to various landmarks near the city.  Perhaps they could sail south on a boat and visit an Unneah community.  Moon complied with all suggestions to keep the peace.  Privately, he was thinking,
Tyson will leave soon.  I just need to get through this.  Then everything will go back to how it was before.  I can't let him go without touching him, but then it will be over.  Just once.  Is that so bad?  I couldn't live if he left here and we'd never touched.

            It was like an infection, and it had been getting more vicious as the day progressed.  Now, Moon was feverish.  He was sure he'd soon be hallucinating.

            Tyson was not at the Reliquary.  Moon's crushing disappointment about this meant that he could barely take an interest in the fact that Snake and his brother appeared to be getting on very well.  Snake had got his liquor out and by the time Moon joined them to eat, both Terez and Snake were on the way to being drunk.  Now, their memories of the past conjured laughter rather than bitterness.  Terez appeared happy to join in with Snake's often spiteful recollections of Pellaz's childhood indiscretions.  Moon had never seen this side of his father before.  He was more at ease than Moon had ever seen him.  He reached out to touch Terez a lot, squeezing his shoulder, patting his hands.

            “Where have you been all day?” Snake asked Moon.

            “Out with Ember.  He wanted some time alone with me.  I don't know what's got into him.  He's jealous of Tyson.”

            Moon noticed Terez direct a sharp glance in his direction.  The atmosphere condensed a little.  Terez took a drink from his glass with one eyebrow raised.  Moon wondered what he'd said wrong.  “Is Tyson here?”

            Terez shook his head.  “No.  It's probably for the best.  You shouldn't upset your friend.”

            “I didn't,” Moon protested.  “He upset himself.”

            Terez put down his glass.  He appeared to be about to say something significant, then clearly changed his mind.  “I brought hot pork from the food market.  Are you hungry?”

            Moon wasn't, but forced himself to eat.  He wanted to ask where Tyson was, but sensed that would be a bad idea.  He managed to endure an hour of his father and hura's company, then fled for the open air.  He went to sit at the edge of the lake, where a road of moonlight slid over the water.  The air was chill, so he'd thrown on a huge woollen sweater full of holes that smelled of mouse droppings.  He rested his cheek on his knees, breathing in the rank scent of the wool and wondered if it was possible to have a clear mind.  What had happened to him?  It felt like sickness, worse than the time when feybraiha had come upon him.

            “Find me,” he said aloud.  “Find me.”

            He called upon the magic of the stars and the moon, he called upon it with all his strength.  He projected every ounce of will and intention he possessed into the call. 
Find me, Tyson.

            And he did.

            Moon heard the footsteps approach and could tell that whoever they belonged to was sauntering in reality, but running in their heart.  He didn't raise his head.  He closed his eyes.  It was impossible for it to be anyhar by Tyson.

            Somehar hunkered down beside him and Moon opened his eyes.  Tyson was staring out over the water, then he threw a stone.  “Have a good day?” he asked.

            “No.  Hell.”

            “Oh dear.  I've been very bored.  You are cruel to abandon me.”

            “I didn't have a choice.  Ember threw a hissy fit.”

            Tyson laughed.  “That must have been a sight.  Did he grow whiskers and a hairless tail?”  He mimicked a rat's teeth and twitching nose.

            Moon gasped in both shock and delight.  “That's not nice!  He's jealous of you.”

            “There's no reason for him to be.”

            “I know that.  He doesn't, though.”

            Tyson threw another stone into the water, then sat back on his heels, his hands dangling between his knees.  His fingers looked pure white in the moonlight.

            “Ember thinks you and Terez are going to take Snake and me away.  Is that going to happen?”

            Tyson shrugged.  “Who knows?  Terez wants Snake to meet with Pell, but what happens to you is between you and your father.  He might make you stay here.”

            “You said I should go to Immanion.”

            “That's just my opinion.  I'm not your guardian, Moon.  I have no say in it.”

            “I'd like to see Galhea, where you live.”

            Tyson sighed and scraped both hands through his hair.  “I'd like you to see it too.  But...”

            “But what?”

            “OK, I'll be straight with you.  I've been warned off, subtly. Do you understand what I'm saying?”

            “I think so.”

            “You're still a harling, Moon.  Nohar should take advantage of that.”

            “I'm not a harling!  Who said that to you?”

            “Nohar.  It just is.”  Tyson shook his head slowly.  “I'm sorry.  You don't know how much.”

            Moon was silent for a moment, then gathered all his courage.  “Nohar need know, Ty.  You'll be gone soon.  Nohar will know.”

            Tyson turned and blinked at him.  “I presume this is some kind of wild dream and in a moment I'll wake up.”

            “No.  You heard me right.  I'm stuck here in the back of beyond and probably always will be.  I want a taste of something.  Is that so bad?”

            Tyson rubbed his face.  “I don't know.  I don't know.  Things can get out of hand...”  He sighed again.  “By Aghama, you are temptation itself.”