Stolen Breaths (11 page)

“I waited around in the emergency room. I had to know if that girl was going to live or if I had gotten to her too late. Her father was pacing and crying and he would stop every now and then to pray. He talked to me about his daughter, how she was the light in his world and how she was all he had. She was a beautiful twenty year old girl with her whole life ahead of her. All I could do was listen and offer him a shoulder to cry on because he needed somebody. I felt completely helpless. I couldn’t help his daughter, and I couldn’t take away his pain. All we could do was wait. The waiting was unbearable. After several hours of waiting, praying, and hoping, we finally got the news that she was going to be okay. I watched her dad fall to his knees thanking God for saving her.

“I told the police everything I saw. I wasn’t much help, though. I couldn’t give a good description of the man since I never saw his face or got close enough to him to identify him in any way other than he was wearing a blue shirt and jeans. I stayed as long as I could and talked to the police several times, but then I had to get back to South Carolina.

“Every so often, I would think about that girl. I thought about her a lot, actually. She was on my mind constantly. I called her dad a couple of times to see how she was doing. He told me that she had no memory of what happened, and that they never found the animal that beat her. I felt partly responsible. I should have gotten a better look at him.”

Cooper let out a breath and clenched his fists in his lap.

“Her dad told me that she was trying to cope, knowing something bad had happened to her but having no memory of it, that she needed time. I wanted to come back to see her. I felt this unexplainable connection to her and…” Cooper blew out a breath. “I finally showed up at her house one day. After months of thinking about her I just
had
to. When I walked up on the porch her dad came out. He told me she wasn’t home, and that she had moved away. I knew I missed my chance to get to know her. I remember her dad’s words. He said,
‘I’m sorry, son. Maybe your paths will cross again someday.’
I left there that day thinking I would never see her again. And for five years that girl has been on my mind and forgetting her doesn’t work. I’ve tried.”

Cooper’s expression changed. He turned toward me and held my face in the palms of his hands. “And then I saw her again… at the airport, standing beside my grandmother. It was you. Your face was etched into my memory. I knew who you were before my grandmother even told me. And when she said you were back because your father died my heart broke for you. I wanted to take away your pain all over again. I knew you were going to need time to grieve. So I stayed away. Again. Until my grandmother intervened.”

“Cooper…I—”

“Shhh,” he said, placing one finger over my lips. “Don’t say anything yet. Let me finish.”

He reached for both of my hands again and he placed them in his lap. “I never knew if this was something I needed to bring up. You never mentioned any of this to me, so I figured this was something you wanted to bury. And your heart was so broken. But the reason I’m finally telling you is because I need you to know that I understand where you’re coming from. I know what happened to you. It’s why I’ve insisted on taking things slow. For you. If you don’t think I see how overwhelmed you are when you’re around me, you would be wrong. I do see it. I see so much of you. I see how beautiful your long brown hair is…how it reminds me of caramel and how you use it as a curtain sometimes when you want to hide your face. And did you know that your brown eyes have flecks of gold in them? It’s true. I see that sometimes you chew your bottom lip and how your cheeks flush whenever I get close to you. How you sometimes bite your nails when you get nervous. I see how big your heart is…your amazing sense of humor. And I see a girl who gets scared sometimes, and I want that girl to know that I understand why. I want that girl to know that I’m willing to give her whatever she needs. I want that girl to trust me.”

Cooper reached in his front pocket and pulled out something shiny and then wrapped it around my wrist. “I got this bracelet for you, to remind you who you are.”

Engraved on the bracelet was:
Delicate, Bold, & Beautiful

I traced the words with my finger as my brain rushed to catch up with everything.

“Like the flower, Lily,” he said. “That’s how I see you.”

“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered. “Thank you. You’ve been like my guardian angel and…” A tear fell onto the bracelet. “All this time, and I never knew it was you who saved me.”

My mind tracked back to that day on the plane when Ms. Sophie was convinced we were meant to meet that day and asked me if I believed in fate. I had no idea how fate was working in my life until now.

I don’t know how long I sat there staring down at the bracelet that was now wrapped around my wrist, promising myself that I would never take it off. The cold metal was warming on my skin as I continued to trace the words slowly. I’d spent the last five years in a hazy fog, shutting out most of the world around me. I moved through life simply going through the motions, never realizing that I had pushed
pause
on my life and was afraid of actually living.

Cooper had been carrying around the events of that awful day as long as I had, only he was cursed with remembering it all, while I was lucky enough to not remember. Funny isn’t it? Thinking how
lucky
I was. I never considered myself lucky until right now, this very moment. Watching Cooper struggle to tell me what he saw, what he endured, how he recalled in painful detail the anguish my daddy went through. I can’t imagine being in that room not knowing if someone I loved and cared about was going to live or die. Cooper chose to stay and endure the torment with my father, and then actually take on the burden of blame. Hearing Cooper blame himself felt like shards of glass penetrating my heart. How could he take on that kind of guilt? He
saved
me.

I looked up at him, and he was watching me with a deep concentration, trying to read my thoughts, I guess. He seemed scared almost, or maybe it was just sadness I was seeing, but looking at him looking at me like that felt like my heart was being squeezed in a vise. I reached for Cooper, placing both hands on his face, and looked into the windows of his soul with an intensity so potent that any lingering doubt or insecurity should have melted away. I wanted him to know what he meant to me. I needed him to understand that he had the power to break my heart with just a look and the power to heal it with another. I knew there weren’t words that could explain the emotions that he managed to stir inside of me.

“Cooper Hudson, in all my life I’ll never be able to thank God enough for you. You have taken the pieces of me that were broken and began fixing them one by one, and you did it with just your smile. That magical weapon you possess that’s so powerful yet so subtle that I never even realized you did it until now, this moment. You tore down the walls from the emotional prison that I built around myself and unlocked the door to hope. And it’s because of you that…”

There was more that I wanted to say. So much more, but I choked on my tears, rendering me incapable of saying any more words. Cooper remained fixed on my gaze and remained still, waiting for me to finish. Something inside me erupted and I was suddenly desperate to make Cooper understand. Without another thought I kissed him hard on the lips and wrapped my arms around him as tightly as I could. Up until then, Cooper had been the one to kiss me, and now I wanted to be the one to kiss him.

In my head I was willing him to understand.
Feel that, Cooper. Please feel what it is I’m trying to say.

I felt Cooper’s hands reach my face and he reciprocated the kiss with a degree of emotion that made me feel like I was skydiving without a parachute. And as sure as I was sitting there I knew that when I eventually came down from this freefall that he’d be there to catch me. Right now, I enjoyed the peacefulness he brought me while simultaneously giving me a rush of adrenaline I’d never before experienced. We were communicating without the hindrance of words. He gently rolled me onto my back until I was looking up at him. He hovered over me, allowing his arms to hold up his upper body, never completely resting the full weight of his body on mine. His kisses had slowed and the urgency that we both felt before had subsided, leaving only the need to touch and be close. He continued to kiss me, slowly bringing me back to the ground. I felt completely safe and cared for with him, and I made a soft landing.

I opened my eyes to find Cooper’s. His eyes had taken on a darker shade of chocolate. He brushed the hair away from my face with light touches of his fingers and then his eyes traced the outline of my eyes, nose, lips, and chin. The way he looked at me when he did that made me feel cherished; like he was taking precious time to study me – all of me. He leaned in close to my ear and whispered so sweetly, “I caught you.”

I woke up to sounds of breathing. At first I was disoriented and forgot where I was. Then I remembered Cooper and I had fallen asleep on his couch watching movies. I was bundled in his arms with my face nestled against his chest. I didn’t want to move and risk waking Cooper, so I closed my eyes again and breathed in his scent, recalling everything we talked about last night while I absentmindedly made light circling motions on his chest. The sun was barely breaking through and all I wanted to do was lie here with Cooper until it was time to face the world again. If I had my choice, I would stay right there forever. However, since the world didn’t stop on my account I chose the next best thing… I drifted back off to sleep to the sound of Cooper’s beating heart.

I awoke again to warm breath on my skin and Cooper’s voice.

“Mornin,’ beautiful.”

I felt his hands smoothing out my hair as he kissed the top of my head. I stirred at the sensation and opened my eyes. The sun was bright now. I sat up with the realization that the world had caught up to us.

“Mornin,” I said back, looking at him through sleepy eyes.

“If you give me a minute, I’ll make you some breakfast. You hungry?”

“Starving.”

“How’s scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast sound?”

“Sounds wonderful.”

“If you want to take a shower you can.”

“Umm, I don’t have any more clothes with me.”

“I’ve got some boxers you can wear, and a t-shirt.”

The thought of getting out of these blue jeans sounded like a pretty good idea. Note to self: never sleep in blue jeans again.

“Okay, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Cooper said. “Actually, I already set everything out for you.”

“You did? I must have really been out of it not to hear you get up.”

“I was very careful not to wake you. I like watching you sleep,” he said. “I’ll get started on breakfast.”

I turned off the shower and stepped out, wrapping a towel around me, and then I heard a knock on the door.

“Lily, I forgot to tell you there is an extra toothbrush in the cabinet.”

“Okay, thanks,” I said through the bathroom door. “I’ll be out in a minute.”