Stilettos & Stubble (23 page)

‘Somebody order a
take away?’ he asked with that disarming smile.  ‘If you order two, you get free
kisses today.  Special One Day Offer.’

Suddenly I wasn’t
hungry any more - at least not for food - and I pulled him in roughly and
proceeded to show him how much I’d missed him in the short time we’d been apart. 
The pizzas got a bit squashed as we kissed frantically against the front door
but salami and pepperoni were the last things on my mind.

We eventually
made it through to the office where I made us some tea and we settled down to
eat.  My hunger had abated again and I picked at my food like a sparrow instead
of my usual gannet style.

Luke, on the
other hand, tucked in enthusiastically.  It was a delight to see a man enjoy
his food as much as I usually did.  Until I asked him how his meeting went.

‘Meeting?’  He
took another bite, stalling for time.  ‘Oh, it wasn’t important.  Just a man
about a job.  Probably won’t come to anything.’

I knew only too
well that two large pizzas were a lot of money when you were between jobs so I
went to my bag to get my purse, surreptitiously touching up my lipstick and
hair while I was there.

I put a twenty
pound note down on the desk next to him and said, ‘For lunch.  My treat.’

He looked at it
and then back at me.  ‘No Perce.  Keep it.  I
can
afford to buy a couple
of meat feasts, you know.’

‘No Luke.  I
insist.  I know how tough it is when you’re job searching.  Trust me, I’ve been
there.  Keep it.’

He pulled me onto
his lap and brushed my newly fluffed hair from my face and, changing the
subject, said, ‘I don’t know why you bothered touching up your lippie, Percy. 
I’m only going to smudge it all again.’

And he did. 
Really rather well.

*****

I’d made an extra
special effort with my clothes, hair and make up for that night because I knew
Luke would be there at the end of the show to whisk me back for Round Two
(eight?) of our newfound hobby.

I knew I was
looking good because Lady had dragged Ma front of house to give me the once
over.  ‘Well hush my mouth!  Which Pussy got the cream, eh?’ he joked.  ‘There aint
no moisturiser on the market that delivers a glow like
that
.  Trust me,
I know.  You, my Homo Honey, have had a good dose of L.O.V.I.N.G!  I’m right,
aren’t I?’

I nodded and
blushed, coughed and tittered.  I felt like a schoolgirl discussing her first
snog, not a fully grown woman admitting to two drag queens that she’d had some
rather mind blowing sex.

Ma raised his
hand to hush me before I spoke.  ‘It’s OK.  You don’t need to go into detail. 
It’ll only put us all in a foul mood before we go on stage.  Been a bit of a
drought round here in the jiggy department so we do
not
need to be
reminded of what we’re missing.’  He then leant forward and kissed me on the
cheek, adding, ‘Pleased for you, girl!  Jealous, but pleased!’

I was so glad
that the evening passed quickly and uneventfully.  It was hard to concentrate
when my body and soul were just longing to be elsewhere.  Never, never in my
life had I been hit so hard by the love bug and I could finally see what all
the fuss was about when I’d seen friends mooning about the place, fit for
nothing.

Being in love was
pretty time consuming.  How were you meant to function normally?  Did it
eventually level out a bit and leave you to go back to being
half
a
normal human being or was I destined to walking around like a like a soppy loon
for the rest of my life?

As I put the last
of the cash in the safe, humming a cheesy love song to myself, the thought suddenly
occurred to me that it might
not
be for the rest of my life.  What if it
was just another relationship doomed for failure?  If my track record was
anything to go by, the odds weren’t good.

I couldn’t bear
to even contemplate that thought.  I wouldn’t let it filter into my mind and
ruin my feeling of euphoria.  If
everyone
thought like that, there would
never be any ‘happy ever afters’.  Maybe this was
my
perfect
fairytale.

Persephone
Mortimer! 
I played with the name again and
smiled.  Positive Visualisation was meant to produce fantastic results so I’d
give that a go.  I allowed my mind to drift to a glorious summer’s day, I was
looking stunning (and slim) in a simple yet elegant wedding dress and my groom
was beaming down at me in his exquisitely cut suit.  The queens were all there
in feathers and sequins, sobbing into lace hankies and throwing sparkly
confetti.  We were all sipping champagne - but I was taking it easy as I had a
little secret in my washboard flat stomach.

As I turned back
from the safe to do my final desk tidy, Luke was waiting for me with a sexy
lopsided grin on his face.  ‘You were looking pretty pleased with yourself
cashing up there.   Good night was it, or have you got something to tell me?’

‘No nothing to
tell,’ I said, ‘Nothing that wouldn’t embarrass me anyway!  Let’s go, shall
we?  Why don’t we go back to your place tonight?’  I flicked off the lights and
we stepped into the darkness as I locked up for the night.

And of course, in
the semi light, I couldn’t be sure if I saw a passing look of panic on his face
as he said, ‘No, not my place, Perce.  Yours is closer.  Let’s just head back
there.’

Chapter
Twenty-Three

It was late
November and, for once, I was thoroughly looking forward to Christmas.  This
year there would be no strained visits to my parents where I’d usually spend
the majority of the festive period being both criticised and complimented in
equal measures.  No opening of presents from my mother which were either way
too small or overtly feminine and no polite drinks with neighbours, where my
mother would always declare my single status as the biggest burden in her life.

No.  This year it
would be different.  My mum was going on a cruise with a divorcee friend and
Daddy had said he was undecided but might go and see his brother in Scotland.  But whatever he decided, I had a man - a gorgeous, loving and attentive man. 
The phrase ‘like a kid at Christmas’ couldn’t have been more fitting.  I
planned to have the best time ever - I was going to decorate the flat in Winter
Wonderland style and shop until I dropped, buying Luke gifts and treats.

And yet that was
the one bone of contention.  Luke still hadn’t found a job and I didn’t want to
make him feel awkward by going too over the top with my offerings.  Whenever we
went out, he paid his way but I was always conscious that things might be tight
for him.  I still hadn’t been back to his place and I wasn’t sure if that was maybe
because he was ashamed of where he lived.  He
said
it was because his
flatmate was always there ‘watching TV and scratching his balls’.  And I had no
reason to think otherwise.  I was more than happy to have him coming back to my
place each night and, wonder of wonders, Bogey
loved
him!

Yes, the cat who
could make grown men cry with a look or well-aimed claw in the groin area, had
turned into a well-mannered, malleable ball of fluff.  From the minute Luke
walked in the door, high volume purring would commence and he’d follow him from
room to room waiting for the next available opportunity for a cuddle on his
lap.  In bed at night, whenever Bogey thought it was the appropriate time (he
really
had
changed his ways!) he’d hop silently up and pin Luke down,
dribbling and looking lovingly into his eyes.  I spent a lot of my time doing
that myself too - and a whole lot more!

And that side of
things was pretty exhausting too.  Oh, I don’t mean the physical
act
, I
mean all the chores that went with it - the topping up of make up in the
mornings, the shaving of my bits and bobs, the exfoliating and the moisturising. 
It was a full time job trying to look gorgeous but it was worth it to hang on
to the man of my dreams.

Luke would often
laugh at me and tell me to give it a rest but I knew I had to keep up the illusion
of perfection if I had a chance in hell of keeping him so I just pretended that
I’d always been like it and that it was simply the way I was.

It was a bitterly
cold morning and I’d hopped out of bed to apply a touch of concealer and light
coat of mascara.  I could hear Luke calling me and I shouted to him to hang on.

‘No, Perce!  I
want you here
now
.  I need a cuddle.  It’s urgent.’

I smiled to
myself in the mirror - how lucky was I?

I returned to the
bedroom to see him propped up against the pillow with Bogey in the crook of his
arm.  ‘You’re too late.  Boges took me up on the offer first. 
He
doesn’t
have to get up and sort his face out every morning.’

I sat on the bed
next to them, stroking Bogey and pulling Luke into an embrace.  ‘Shut up you. 
It’s hard work being this hot.  We don’t all find it as easy as
you
.’ 
And once more I was silenced by his lips.

My cosy cat
opened one eye and looked at me.  His sixth sense kicked in and his newfound
manners took over.  He jumped off the bed, landing with a hefty thud and left
us to enjoy our human fun.

Yep, life was
good!

*****

‘What you up to
today then, Perce?’

Luke and I were
eating croissants and drinking coffee - the way most of our days started now. 
Well almost …!

I wiped the
crumbs from my mouth and said, ‘I’m gonna head off to the club just after
lunch, update the website and then do a bit of work on my novel.  I think this
one’s going well.’

Deep down, I
didn’t
actually
think it was going well but I was determined to keep at
it until I churned out
something
I could be proud of.   The queens were
going great guns with theirs and they’d even had a sniff of interest from an
agent - gay, of course.

‘What about you?’
I asked as I dumped the dishes in the sink and cleaned the work surfaces.

‘I’ve got someone
to see at eleven and then I thought I might do some Christmas shopping.  Got
some special gifts to buy.’

‘Oh yeah?’  I
stood behind him and put my arms around his waist.  Would I
ever
get
bored of holding this man?

‘Yep!  The
Bogester says he’d like a new collar and a wind-up mouse,’ he joked.  ‘Don’t
tell him but I’m going to get him one of those little pet stockings filled with
goodies too.  I think he’ll be quite pleased.’

‘We don’t need
presents, you know Luke.’  I wanted him to know he shouldn’t feel the need to
splash out cash he didn’t have.  ‘We’ll just have a great time, being together. 
Treat me in the New Year when you get a fab new job.’

Luke slapped me
on the bottom and, with a wink, added, ‘Hey!  Who said anything about buying
stuff for
you
?  I told you, I’m out shopping for my main man.  You’ll
get a stocking with an orange, a nut and a snog and be grateful for it.’

Nothing had ever
sounded more enticing to me.

*****

The new acts had
settled in well and word was beginning to spread.  We were fully booked with
parties for our festive programme and things
should
have been looking
up.

Lady and Vi were
still the best of friends and had even devised a combined song and dance
routine which was proving to be very popular.  They chuckled and guffawed
together backstage, working on their obscene book and coming up with more and
more perverse sexual variations.  On occasions, I wondered if they were
actually putting any of these practises through their paces.  They certainly
seemed to be very close!

Lubov alternated
between chatty and morose.  He still dressed alone in the locked loo and some
days his songs would be joyous, other times they’d make you want to slash your
wrists.  Still waters run deep, as they say, and I resigned myself to the fact
that we would never
truly
get to know him.

Tittie had
returned to do a couple of turns a week but we were yet to welcome Annie back. 
Tittie told us he’d found him soon after we’d last spoken and had convinced him
to return home, but that depression had hit him really hard.  He just sat at
home all day, drinking brandy and watching ‘Jeremy Kyle’ and ‘Loose Women’ -
enough to tip anyone over the edge.

I called Annie
many times - just to get bills paid or give him updates to keep him in the loop
- but he showed no interest and just said he trusted me to keep things going. 
I had his full permission to open all correspondence and deal with it as I saw
fit.

And so that was
what I did.  I juggled bills, sweet-talked creditors and generally did
everything in my power to keep The Glove ticking over.  It was tough and I
often felt like crumbling under the weight of it all, but the love of a good
man can make you feel invincible.

For a while.

I think the straw
that went close to breaking the camel’s back was when I arrived at the club one
rainy afternoon to find a huge hole in the reception area’s ceiling and water
flooding onto the plush, scarlet carpet.

I stood and stared,
open mouthed and rooted to the spot.  I dropped my bag and felt my heart sink
with it.  No, no, no!  This
could not
be happening!  I’d worked too
bloody hard to get the club totally booked out for the weeks leading up to
Christmas and I just couldn’t have anything stuff it up.

And you know that
bastard expression which says ‘things come in threes’?  Well on that fateful day,
it truly delivered - and
then
some.

I nipped to the
loo for a quick wee and to change into my tattiest dungarees so that I could
scream, sulk and then get stuck into clearing up.  Then, on trying to flush,
the whole pedestal filled and flooded the cubicle floor.  Once more I stood in
disbelief - sewage spilling over into my trainers and gradually spreading up my
trouser legs.

Stupidly I
remained there allowing the sludge to seep into my skin.  The more it did so,
the more I sobbed.  My artfully applied early morning make up parted with my
face and I rubbed the tears and snot away with the back of my hand, smearing
them on my filthy dungarees.

Squelching from
the loo to the office, I heard a sharp rap on the front door.   A postal
courier.  He did a double take as he saw me in all my drenched glory and then
peered over my shoulder at the sodden carpet.  ‘Got a bit of a leak, have we? 
Recorded delivery for you.’

My response
wasn’t polite but it was all I could muster as I signed for the letter.  ‘No
shit, Sherlock!’ I said, as I slammed the door in his face.

Coffee.  Strong
coffee was the only answer.  I’d make a brew and then sit and consider what
needed to be done.  I’d learned from the last fiasco that the best way of
dealing with chaos was to keep a calm and level head, and now was the time to put
that into practice.

As I sat sipping
my caffeine hit, my eye was drawn to the letter the courier had given me. 
Recorded delivery was important, wasn’t it?  It meant that the sender needed to
know that you’d received it.  It meant business.

I picked it up
and turned it tentatively in my hands.  How bad could it be?  Surely enough
crap had happened already today?  Maybe it was
good
news?

Steeling myself,
I ripped open the envelope addressed to Annie and my heart began to race as my mouth
went dry.

Our lease and
rental were up for review and we’d have to pay nearly double the rent in three
months or we’d be out.

*****

Sitting and
sobbing, scratching your head and rubbing your eyes never achieve anything and
don’t make for a good look.  But it was all I could manage for the next half an
hour.  I just didn’t know where to begin so I did nothing.  It wasn’t big, it
wasn’t clever but I had no choice.  I’d literally been stopped in my tracks, despite
trying to apply my new calm mantra.

There was no way
the club could afford to run if the rent was increasing by so much.  No way on
earth.  The girls would all be out of a job and the place I felt at my happiest
would close.  News of this could be the final nail in Annie’s coffin and I
couldn’t bear to think about it.

A voice pulled me
from my dark thoughts, causing me to sit up with a start.

‘You left the
door unlocked, Perce!  You need to be more careful.’

Luke was in my
office before I had a chance to tidy my face or smooth my hair.  I flushed with
shame at him seeing me in such a state but it was too late.

In contrast he
was immaculately dressed in his best suit, a tie hanging loosely at his neck. 
He’d never looked so sexy and I’d never looked like a bigger bag of shit.

I tried to smile,
to give myself a modicum of glamour, but it fell from my lips and left me a
blubbering wreck.  Everything was ruined - the club, my purpose in life, my
pretence - all gone in one day.

Luke allowed me
to cry, clearly sensing that it all had to come out and that there would be no
stemming its flow.