Sticks (Black Addiction #2) (15 page)

“I’m sorry. I don’t think you’re stupid. I never thought that.”

“Ah, fuck. I’m sorry. I have no idea what is going through my head right now, but it’s a mess. I guess I feel sort of left out like, you’re calling all the shots. And I get it, I totally understand but I just need to be a part of this.”

He did it again.

Completely flooring me with his kind, sensitive side very few people saw. The man who would be an amazing father.

I swallowed.

Hard.

“You’re part of this. I promise. I won’t freeze you out.”

“That’s all I’m asking.” He reached out and squeezed my hand.

“You guys want to come inside or you happy to stand in the doorway some more? Pretty sure every single one of my neighbors is looking out their window right now.” Dom appeared back at my side, obviously hearing the whole conversation. Not that he seemed overly annoyed we had commandeered his stoop to get talk-show crazy. All we needed was the paternity test results, and it could have been an episode of
Maury.

“Hey.” Joey tipped his chin hello, about twenty thousand levels calmer than when he’d met Dom a few minutes earlier. “I think I’m just going to take off. We can talk about this later.”

“Can I call you later?” I didn’t want him to leave, but asking him to stay didn’t seem like a good idea either.

“Of course you can call me, you know my number.” He gave me a nod and then turned around, walking down the stairs onto the sidewalk before he turned a corner and was gone.

I could have gone after him but I didn’t.

“You need anything?” Dom put his arm around me and pulled me into his side.

“Yeah, a lobotomy.” I tried to force a grin.

“Hey, can I come
in?”

I could count the number of times Kenzie had ever come to Max and my place. There had been a few parties but that’s about it, so seeing her on the other side of my security door wasn’t what I expected. Especially not three hours after our last encounter. Not my finest hour.

“I thought you said you were going to call?” I opened the door and stepped to the side. “Come on in.”

I didn’t give a fuck what people thought of me. None. And I really didn’t give a shit if people thought I was stupid, I knew different. And I didn’t live my life with something to prove. But now with Kenzie—it fucking mattered.

We wandered through to the living room, my hand gesturing for her to take a seat.

“I hate how we left things.” She paced nervously, declining the offer of the couch.

“You’re right. It was bullshit. I should never have come down there and spoken to you like that. That was a bad call.”

There were better ways to have handled it; unfortunately I didn’t choose the other options. Pissed, not because she was blowing me off, but blowing me off because she didn’t think I was good enough. Which is why I acted like a sixteen-year-old girl.

“No, you were hurt. I get it. I think you’re great.” She continued to pace, her hands twitchy at her side.

Awesome. Now she was nervous to be around me too. Just another layer of BS to an already shitastic day.

“Can you sit down, you’re making me edgy.” I eased up to her and ran my hands along her arms, moving her closer to the couch.

“Okay.” She smiled, her ass lowering onto the two seater.

Not much better. Her hands locked into place in her lap as she took her seat and waited for me to do the same on the opposite armchair.

Silence.

Fucking great.

“I don’t like seeing you like this.” I leaned forward, knowing we had to somehow fix this shitty situation.

“Like what?” She shrugged, like she had no idea how uptight she was.

“Nervous around me. Quiet. It’s not you.”

“I’m not nervous. You want me to be loud?” she asked with a slight look of confusion.

“Yes, it will make me feel better. Feel free to get crazy,” I offered, hoping it would tease us from this no man’s land we were currently in.

“Fine.” She slowly rose to her feet and started to stomp around dramatically. “Fuck,” she screamed out randomly and picked up a pillow and threw it across the room. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” The later ones slightly louder than the first.

“That’s you being loud? You need more bass behind the fucks if you are going to get serious. And one pillow? Really?”

“FUCK.” My voice boomed, echoing off the walls, as I grabbed the stash of Sports Illustrated chilling on my coffee table and pitched them against the wall. The flap of pages rained through the air before falling into a messy heap.

“Impressive.” She smiled. “I can probably do better.” She looked around for something to throw, her eyes falling to the television remote.

“Not that.” I warned and pointed to the shitty thrift store lamp that sat on the end table beside her. “That.”

“Are you sure?” She looked between the lamp and me like she was convinced I meant something else.

“As a heart attack.” I smiled and watched her unplug the piece of shit lamp and grasped it in her palm.

“FUCK.” The lamp catapulted through the air with a satisfying smash as it hit the wall, the globe shattering on impact.

“What the fuck?” Max stormed into the living room. The front door left wide open, his keys still in his hand. “What the hell is going on in here?”

I assumed the question was directed at both of us even though he was looking squarely at me. The bastard assuming I was the reason furniture was being thrown. And in this instance, he would be correct.

“Kenz wants to moonlight as a quarterback.” I nodded toward Kenzie, her hand still raised in the air from the arc of the throw. “She’s got a great right arm, wouldn’t you say?” I gave her a big smile.

“Yeah, because I believe that.” Max’s face all I-wasn’t-born-yesterday as he eyed us both for an explanation.

“It’s true.” Kenz played along trying not to laugh. “It’s always been a fantasy of mine.” Her hand lowered to her side as she smiled, nodding to me in a show of support.

“You
both
are full of shit.” Max shook his head, disappearing momentarily to take care of our still open front door. “I’m going to go hang in my bedroom away from the crazy that’s happening in here.” He waved his hand dramatically in the air. “If you could not destroy any more of the living room, that sure would be nice too. Peace.” He gave us a wave before taking off down the hall.

“Wow, I would have expected more questions. If that had been Sara, I would have had to give a three-page account with a PowerPoint display.” She looked skeptically at the hall like Max might reappear any minute and demand more info.

“Yeah, Max doesn’t give a shit. I’m sure once he realized they weren’t angry
fucks
and we weren’t trying to kill each other, he lost interest pretty quickly.” I moved from my place across the room so that I was directly in front of her.

“Hey.” She smiled, her eyes meeting mine.

“Hey.” I grinned back, the urge to touch her too great as I gave in and pulled her in for a hug.

“We can do better.” She didn’t fight my hold, if anything moving closer against my chest.

“I agree.” My mouth unconsciously brushed against her forehead and gave her a kiss. And fuck me, the contact was not nearly enough. “You want to do something? We could go see a movie?”

“Like a date?” She pulled back slightly so she could get a better look at me. “We’ve never dated before.”

“Sure, Date Joey is so much fun. You’ve completely been missing out.” My hands lowered a little, settling on her waist.

Hmm. That felt really fucking nice, exactly where I wanted them and her. The rise and fall of her chest caught my attention as I tried to regulate my own breathing. Had we been this close before without having sex? Not to flirt, but just to touch each other? It pissed me off that I couldn’t recall, the curve of her hips absolutely perfect for my hands.

“I don’t know, Joey.” Her fingers played with the fabric of my T-shirt and if I wasn’t so sure she’d freak the fuck out, I would have kissed her.

God, I wanted too. Kiss away any hard feelings; hold her close to my chest.

I wanted
her
.

Not just to take to my bed, I wanted something else as well.

More.

Whatever more was.

And just like she got a brain scan of what I was thinking, she pulled away a little further. My hands slipped from her body as she gave us more distance, the silence threatening to come back.

“Or we could fuck. You know I’m good at that.” I slipped back into the Joey she remembered, hopefully lightening the mood. Praying to God she didn’t think I was a jerk off and was actually suggesting we fuck.

She jabbed me in the ribs with her elbow. “You had to go ruin it.” She rewarded me with the laugh that I had wanted.

“I’m just keeping it real, babe.”

***

You would think we hadn’t played in years with the amount of practice Angie had scheduled. It was like we were recording again, days spent holed up in a room. At least we had the convenience of her makeshift home studio this time, her new house boasting a soundproof basement. I guess it beat spending hours at my own home twiddling my thumbs.

“Just a head’s up.” Max loaded his bass and amp into the back of his car. “I’m doing a stop-and-drop at home and then heading out. I’ll probably have company tonight.”

“Whatever, dude. I might go see Kenzie, it’s been a few days.” I lifted the last of my kit into the back of my truck.

My plans for the night had already been set regardless of Max’s agenda. Him and
company
just made the choice a lot easier, giving the dude some extra room while getting what I wanted. Everyone won.

“Yeah, you do that.” The bastard laughed as he finished packing up his ride.

There was no need to pretend. Max had known me so long, half the time he knew me better than I knew myself. And while I was still wading my way through what it all meant, my interest in Kenz was no longer purely as the mother of my child.

In what I can only describe as sick twisted perversion—that I would never repeat, not even to Max—I was glad I’d knocked her up. Pleased beyond measure it was my kid that was inside of her. And since we’d gotten those ever-important paternity test results that confirmed it, I was strutting around like I’d just been given a key to the city. As far as I was concerned, getting her pregnant was the best thing I ever did.

Of course shit was still in a weird sort of limbo between us, but she’d finally caved and went out on a date like I asked. I had been the perfect gentleman, keeping my hands and my dick to myself the entire time. Not even a sly brush of the ass when I put my hand around her waist. Nope, my mitts were above the belt the entire time much to my dick’s disgust.

And because I’d been good and hadn’t so much as kissed her, we’d done it again a couple more times. Sure, we weren’t doing anything super exciting; keeping the outings pretty PG, but it was cool just to relax with her. And that laugh of hers was making my world go round.

The hard-ons weren’t as much fun. My balls ached like no other and I was jerking off so much I was sure I was going to be rocking epic chafing. Not like I had an alternative, at this point I doubt I could have fucked anyone else even if it were an option. Which was another thing.

Since I’d taken a hiatus from the ladies, I had more pussy thrown at me than ever. No shit. Pussy for fucking days. I’m talking random pussy just turned up when I least expected it, for no good reason. It was like the big man upstairs was testing me, seeing if I would crack and I wasn’t even breaking a sweat.

I gave them the thanks-but-no-thanks and kept it polite, because the other thing I was working on was dialing down the asshole. All part of the plan in being a better man. Not just for Kenzie, but for our kid too. Besides, it was time I did more than throw on a new coat of paint; I wasn’t fucking eighteen anymore.

My truck pulled up in front of Kenzie’s apartment like it had driven itself. My braining zoned out on the miles as I thought about seeing her. Every time it was just a little bit better.

“Knock, knock.” I drummed on her front door, the old lady who lived next-door giving me a look of disapproval for my loud announcement.

“Did we have plans?” She opened the door, her blonde hair piled on her head in a messy bun.

“Nope, was in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by.” I leaned on the doorjamb and waited for the invitation. “Did you want me to give you a minute so you can sneak out your boyfriend? I can turn around, pretend I didn’t see.”

She laughed, throwing her head back as her eyes lit up.

“He left an hour ago, why do you think I’m ready for bed? He completely wore me out.” She cracked open the door wider to reveal her favorite sleepwear, a pair of shorts and T-shirt combo made me harder than anything in a Victoria Secret’s catalog.

Don’t let the game fool you. If there was even the
slightest
possibility there was a dude she was seeing, I’d probably hunt him down and rip his balls clean off. Clean. Off. Then I’d probably feed them to him just so he got the message. Lucky for me—and the general male population—she had shown no interest in other dudes. Thank you and hallelujah.

“You wanna do something tonight?” I walked into her apartment trying to keep my eyes off her ass as she walked in front of me. The hard-on-of-death already pitching a tent in my jeans.

“As in . . .” She sunk her ass down onto her couch and motioned for me to do the same.

And wouldn’t you know, the T-shirt she
loved
to wear to bed had gotten a little tighter since the last time I’d seen it. The curve of her tits being showcased like a brand new car on a game show.
I’ll take blue balls for one hundred, Alex.
It was going to be a rough night.

“I don’t know, something. We’ve been practicing for this gig like day in, and day out and I’m about to climb the walls. You wanna come hang out at the bar?” I suggested the first thing that came into my head, my ass coming down onto the seat beside her.