Sticks and Stones (35 page)

‘And something about something being supervised. He goes: “
F
that for a joke!” Oh, but the
real
killer was the house.' Ashley frowned, grimaced. ‘Did you ask for something about the house?
His
house?'

Maddie nodded slowly, the insects awakening within.

‘God Mum! You should have
known
that'd set him off! Coz
that's
when he punched the wall in the kitchen and then yelled at us to get the F in the car. So we did but like we could still hear him screaming at Natalie, so Sam says, “C'mon, quick, let's walk around to Mum's”.' Ashley paused to take a sip of hot chocolate. ‘So we start getting out of the car but then they come out and Dad goes, “What the F do you think you're doing?” So we all get back in and drive down to Yea.'

‘What happened to Sam's phone? When I rang?'

‘Oh, Dad bashed it on to the steering wheel. Like this.' Ashley made a sudden thrusting motion with her fist, as if wielding a hammer. ‘Then he threw it at Natalie and told her to put it in her fing bag. And he took mine too, and won't give it back.'

‘He just doesn't want you to ring me.'

‘I don't
care
!' Ashley frowned, instantly angry. ‘It's
mine
! Like you can't
give
someone something and then just take it away. That's not fair!'

‘I'll alert the authorities,' said Maddie dryly. ‘But first let's get back on track. What happened over the weekend? With your grandmother and all?'

‘Oh, that was fine.' Ashley waved a hand airily. ‘Like Gran won't let Dad go stupid. But we kept getting sent away and they had lots of conversations in the kitchen. Auntie Dana came around and they were whispering, looking at the papers. I don't think they like you much.'

‘No, I don't expect they do.'

Ashley took a sip of hot chocolate, staring at her mother over the brim. ‘Mum, I don't want to go back. It's like before, but worse. Having to be careful what you say before you say it.'

‘I know.'

‘And he drinks all the time too. I hate it. So can I stay?'

Maddie closed her eyes, needing obscurity for a moment. When she opened them Ashley was still watching her, but now there was a slight difference. A brittle wariness. As if her mother's failure to instantly reply had been an answer in itself.

‘Not fair,' said Ashley, her bottom lip pushing upwards as it had when she was little.

‘Listen, Ash.' Maddie reached out, snared her daughter's hand. Held it tight even as Ashley tried to pull loose. ‘It's not for much longer, I promise. I'm doing
everything
I can. But if we make a wrong move now, like this, then we could wreck everything.'

‘Whatever.'

‘Hear me out.' Maddie squeezed Ashley's hand as the girl looked away, desperate for her to listen, understand. ‘One of the reasons everything went so horribly wrong at the court case, the first one, was that they said I'd
alienated
you guys from your father. And this here, if I let you stay, would be more of the same. Even me sitting here, talking to you, not ringing your father straightaway, it's all risky. I would love, more than
anything
, to let you stay. But we're so
close
now. Ash, we've got less than two weeks till the hearing, and this time everything is on our side. We've even got an appointment for a family report this Wednesday, where you can tell your side of everything. Do you understand?'

Ashley stared at the tabletop and then slowly lifted her head, looked at her mother. ‘Wednesday?'

Maddie nodded. ‘And they'll speak to you, and Sam, and ask you what
you
want.'

‘So . . . I get a day off school?'

‘Yes, you get a day off school,' Maddie grinned, relief blossoming. She straightened, letting go of Ashley's hand.

Ashley moved her mug and then rang a finger through the thin chocolatey circle left behind. She stared at it and then dipped her finger in her mug and used it to draw on the table, within the circle. ‘Look, a smiley face.'

‘Extremely artistic. Good to know where your talents lie.'

‘I agree.' Ashley wiped the points off the smile and turned it upside down. She stared at it for a moment and then pulled her jumper sleeve over her hand and wiped it clean. She looked up at her mother. ‘I do understand, it's just I want . . .'

‘I know.'

Guess whimpered softly, coming over to the table to stare at Maddie as if disappointed with her decision. Ashley reached over to scratch him on the tailbone and the dog immediately stretched out his head, elongating his entire body.

‘And that lawyer guy should be contacting you again soon.' Maddie tapped her fingers on the table to get Ashley's attention. ‘But Ash, it is
extremely
important that you be upfront with him. Tell him everything that your father's been doing. About how it's made you feel. You know, scared, fearful.' Maddie watched her carefully, maintaining eye contact. ‘Write it down if you think that'll help you remember. This is your
one
chance.'

Ashley nodded, looking back down towards the dog. Guess was now working his back leg, as if it alone was running. She gave him one last scratch and then stood, quite suddenly, scraping her chair back. ‘May as well get it over and done with then. Dad's probably not even home yet.'

‘All right.' Maddie stayed where she was for a moment, watching Ashley sling her schoolbag over her shoulder. Loving the girl so much that it hurt. Then she got up, feeling old, grabbing her handbag and then wordlessly following Ashley outside to the car. She could hear Guess scrabbling at the back door, taken by surprise at the unexpected turn of events.

Maddie reversed out of the driveway and then drove instinctively, as her mind tried to find some topic that would break the silence without adding tension. Every so often she glanced across at her daughter, trying to read her expression. But the girl just gazed ahead, her profile unchanging.

‘Stop looking at me.'

‘I'm not,' said Maddie automatically. ‘Well, I am. But only because I'm worried.'

Ashley shrugged. ‘Don't worry about me. It's
Sam
you should be worried about.'

‘What do you mean?'

‘Only because he keeps getting himself into trouble with Dad. Like they had this big huge-ass argument last night, after I went to bed. And he didn't even go to school today.'

Maddie had whipped around to stare at Ashley. Now she glanced at the road quickly and then back to her daughter. ‘Ash, why didn't you tell me this before?'

‘Why? Would it have made any difference?'

‘Well . . .' Maddie paused, turning to look ahead once more. ‘That's not the point. Now tell me what happened.'

‘They just yelled at each other and stuff. I think coz Dad took us to Yea and not your place.'

‘But why didn't Sam go to school today?'

‘Oh, just coz he can get away with it I expect. Have a day off.'

‘I see.' Maddie drove in silence, strangely warmed by this news. More ammunition. And clearly Jake wasn't getting things all his way. Instead he was discovering that teenagers couldn't be manipulated as easily as younger children, because at this age they bit back.

‘Hey, this is the street, Mum.'

Maddie braked quickly and turned right into Jake's street, driving down until she reached his house and then pulling to the kerb, with heart suddenly throbbing as she checked the driveway for his car. It wasn't there. She let her breath out audibly, and glanced at Ashley. Sharing a split-second of tacit understanding that, despite everything, felt snug, and warm, and precious.

Ashley kissed her mother. ‘Bye, Mum. See you soon.'

‘Bye honey.' Maddie leant over as Ashley slid out of the car. ‘I love you.'

‘Love you too.' Ashley closed the door and then looked both ways perfunctorily before jogging across the road with her bag bouncing against her back. She paused by the letterbox and turned to give her mother a brisk wave before setting off towards the house.

Maddie knew she should drive off now, quickly, before Jake got home, but she felt a strong need to actually watch until Ashley disappeared inside. As if that would guarantee her safety, even though, ironically, the opposite was probably more true. So she watched her daughter jog up the concrete driveway, her ponytail bobbing from side to side, and for a moment she was a little girl again. One who had been gone for years. A little girl called Courtney whose favourite outfit was a pink tulle tutu, always in need of a wash because she so rarely took it off. And Maddie's eyes misted over because that little girl was so long gone, and also because she was still there. Leaving.

TWENTY-THREE

T
he window shattered at exactly twenty-three minutes past three in the morning. Maddie was able to be precise because she jerked upright in bed the moment it happened, staring at her clock as if somehow it could explain everything. Instantly wide awake, adrenalin surging. She could hear Guess barking now, from the lounge room, the pitch varying as he ran around excitedly. And she could also hear her heart, beating within like a prisoner trying to escape.

She threw the covers back and then paused, feeling exposed, every nerve straining to listen. After a few moments she got out of bed and paused again, waiting until her eyes adjusted to the semidark. She saw her ceramic frog on the dressing table, the gold tips of its splayed feet glittering in the gloom, so she took it, curving her hand around its belly so that it became a weapon. Then walked slowly, steadily out of the room and down the passage, into the lounge room where Guess's barking was now a series of short, sharp, agitated yaps. He ran over to her immediately, jumping up against her as if needing reassurance himself.

Maddie gripped the frog tighter and reached out to flick on the light with her other hand. The room was immediately bathed in fluorescence, so bright and sudden that she almost preferred the darkness. Especially since now everything was clear. From the curtains gusting across the jagged hole in the window, occasionally being sucked in by the wind and then straightening once more into rippling folds, to the glass that was scattered all over the couch, the carpet, even the computer. Knife-shaped shards and icicle splinters and hundreds of tiny glittering stars, gently scattered over the carpet pile. In the centre, just beyond the couch, was a mid-sized rock. A craterous type, like from a garden bed. Maddie stared, her heart still pounding, her mind racing. Frustrated fury bringing tears to her eyes.

And she could see sparkles glimmering within the carpet, only centimetres from her face. A scattering of tiny twinkles, like stars spread across the night sky.
Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight.
She knew, but didn't want to know, that it was actually broken glass. Thousands of miniscule shards that wanted to embed themselves within her flesh. But it didn't really matter because if he increased the pressure any more then her head was going to burst open, like a ripe watermelon, and she herself would drown the little glass stars. A tsunami of fluid, and she would be gone.

Guess froze suddenly and cocked his head, ears pricked, before breaking into fever-pitch barking once more and taking off down the passage. Almost immediately the doorbell rang, the cheerful
dingdong
chillingly out of place. Maddie froze as her body liquefied, warm and runny and terrified, the musty smell of carpet still heavy in her throat. She turned slowly, instinctively, and made herself walk all the way to the front door, one foot after the other. Guess whipped around to face her, his tail beating with enthusiasm, and then shoved his nose back into the gap along the door. Sniffing and snorting and working his front paws against the wood. Through the frosted glass she could see the outline of a man, a bulky, wavering shadow that seemed far larger than it should. The doorbell rang again, right next to her ear, and Maddie thought that she was going to implode. Sucked inside out until all that was left was a pool of viscous liquid.

‘Maddie? Maddie? Are you all right, love?'

Realisation dawned amidst a veritable
flood
of relief. She sagged against the passage wall, the ceramic frog still clutched in her hand. The voice belonged to her next-door neighbour, Tom. Elderly, friendly, pleasant. Absolutely no threat at all. Her heart continued to pound, hammering painfully against her ribs, so she dragged in deep breaths to cushion it.

‘Maddie? Are you there?'

‘Just a minute.' Maddie flicked the outside light on and then slipped the latch, pulling the door open, revealing Tom, who stood there in pyjamas and a chequered dressing-gown, staring at her with obvious concern. Guess recognised him immediately, leaping outside to fawn around his legs.

Tom patted the dog, held him still, without taking his eyes off Maddie. ‘Are you okay? What's going on?'

‘I'm not really sure.' Maddie suddenly realised that she was wearing an oversized T-shirt and very little else. She hunched slightly, automatically. ‘But I'm fine. Someone just threw a rock through my lounge room window, that's all.'

‘I saw, from the front. Smashed to smithereens,' Tom frowned crossly. ‘I bet my bottom dollar it was bloody teenagers. You going to call the police?'

Maddie nodded slowly. ‘Did you see anyone? Who it was?'

‘Nah. Long gone, the little bastards. I had a garden statue smashed a few weeks ago,' Tom paused, patting Guess as the dog wriggled around him. He glanced at the ceramic frog still clutched in Maddie's hand and then back up to her face. ‘But as long as you're all right, love, that's the main thing. Want a hand to clean up?'

‘No, that's fine. But thank you,' Maddie smiled her gratitude, putting the frog down on the hall table. ‘And thanks for checking on me as well.'