Read Stern Desire Love Redeemed Online
Authors: Leah Shay
"Does he have a fever?" I asked Claire.
"No, he doesn't," she answered.
"It was just a nightmare, Kyra," Jared said.
What was he dreaming about, to have him sweating so profusely and with such extremely elevated blood pressure?
"Kyra, can you help me?" Claire asked.
"Sure." He was looking so hot in his tight, white,
wet t-shirt and wet, unruly hair.
"I need to make the bed. Can we put him in the chair?" Claire asked.
"I prefer to stand," Jared said. "I know I
can't put any weight on my left leg."
He was out of bed yesterday with physical therapy and did very well, so I knew he could handle this. I helped him to stand, and I stood in front of him. He placed his hands on my shoulders. This was the first time I
had seen him standing. His five foot, ten inch, well-built stature intimidated me. I felt the warmth from his hands on my shoulder, and the tingling started. I stood as still as a statue, never looking up, but I felt his penetrating
gaze. I wished Claire would move a little faster making the bed.
I felt him wobble. "Are you okay?" I asked.
"I'm good. And you?" he asked.
"I'm fine."
"You need to learn how to relax," Jared whispered in my ear. His lips were a little too close for comfort.
"Claire, can you please hurry? I think he's getting tired."
"Almost finished, Kyra," Claire answered.
He wobbled again. I instantly looked up. There was a devilish smile on his face. I frowned at him. He began to lightly massage my shoulder.
"Could you please stop that?" I whispered.
"Just trying to loosen you up."
"I do not need loosening up. Please stop it," I repeated.
"Kyra, I need to go get some pads for the bed,"
Claire said.
"Can we put him back to bed first?" I asked Claire. I did not want to be left alone with him like this.
"I'm fine. I can handle standing a little longer,"
Jared intervened.
Claire left to get the supplies.
"Jared, what are you doing? Are you intentionally trying to get me in trouble?"
"Relax." His hand stroked my cheek, and then
lifted my chin so that I was staring into his eyes. He lowered his head to kiss me.
"Please...please, don't," I begged quietly. Claire could be back at any minute, and I would be in such a dilemma if she returned
and found me in a lip lock with my patient. It would be all over the unit like wildfire, a sure way for me to get fired. They would probably want to set an example out of me. The embarrassment would make me quit before management had a
chance to fire me. The caution sirens were on blast in my head, but my body was saying yes. I closed my eyes and waited for the kiss.
"Open your eyes, Kyra." I smelled his sweet breath.
I opened my eyes and found his face inches from mine. I felt
myself sinking into a trance-like state. "Do you realize I could lose my job or, even worse, be brought up on charges of sexual misconduct?" I said in a daze.
"And who would dare bring you up on charges?" he
said softly.
"The Board of Nursing."
His lips brushed against mine. I closed my eyes again. The outer door to the sitting room opened; Claire was coming back. I regained my
composure and prayed that she could not feel the romantic tension in the room.
"Finished, Kyra," Claire said. We helped Jared back in bed.
"Claire, do you need me for anything else?" I
asked.
"No, Kyra, I'm fine."
"Do you want to change your shirt?" Claire asked Jared.
I turned and walked out of the room. I did not want to see
this.
When Claire was finished, she found me at the nurses station to tell me that Jared was waiting for me to take his blood pressure. She had offered, but he refused her.
He was going to get me in trouble.
Jared stretched his arm out as I entered. As I put the cuff on his arm, a lock of hair that was tucked behind my ear fell loose. I saw his right hand coming up toward me.
"Don't move," I said. My other patients would have
listened to me, but not Jared Stern. He tucked the lock of hair back behind my ear. As he did so, his hand gently caressed my ear lobe and down the side of my face. A shiver ran through my spine. I stood up and pressed the button on the
blood pressure machine.
"Just trying to help."
I'm sure you are
. He did not have that mischievous look on his face, but no doubt he was enjoying it.
"Your blood pressure is fine." I took the cuff off
his hand.
"What's on your mind, Kyra?" Jared asked.
"There is nothing on my mind."
"When something's bothering you, there is that distant
look on your face, and there's this tell-tale line that forms right between your eyebrows," he pointed out.
I looked at him, puzzled.
"I read people very well. So, are you going to tell me,
or do I have to use my truth or dare?"
"Well, you can't use it yet."
"Technically, it's tomorrow."
"Nothing's bothering me."
"Fine. Truth or dare, and I can tell if you are lying."
"How can you tell if I'm lying?"
"That, I won't tell you just yet. So, truth or dare?" he suggested.
"Truth," I answered. This might work out to my benefit.
"What's on your mind?"
"I was wondering if you had a girlfriend, and what would she think if she knew you were coming on to me."
"Ella and I have an uncomplicated relationship. She is more a companion than a girlfriend."
"What does that mean?"
"She's there when I need her."
I was saddened and disappointed that Jared might not be capable of providing the type of relationship I sought, a committed fulfilling relationship with strong emotional ties. Ella did whatever he wanted, was there
for his satisfaction, came running at his beck and call, put up with his indiscretions, and there was no emotional attachment on his part. What kind of woman would subject herself to such a relationship? He might not even care that much about her, but I was sure she had feelings for him.
"Don't over think it, Kyra. It works for us." He was watching me closely.
"Do you have more than one companion?"
"No."
"Have you ever had more than one companion?"
"No."
"It's almost change of shift. Have a good day, Mr. Stern." I picked up the blood pressure cuff.
"Kyra," he said softly. "It would be different for us."
"Have a good day."
.
"Those are some gorgeous orchids," Aunt Maggie
said as I placed the vase on the kitchen counter.
"Thanks. They are from a patient," I answered, sounding tired.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.
Was I that easy to read? She could always tell when
something was on my mind.
"Not now, Aunt Maggie."
I was exhausted, but sleep eluded me anyway. I found my ring on the night table, right where I left it, and placed it on my right ring
finger. At twelve noon, I was still awake, lying in bed, my mind racing with unanswered questions. How did he get my number, and what else did he know about me? Why hadn't Ella visited him? I would have heard if she did. Why did he consider
his girlfriend a "companion"? What was this baggage that he came with? Was he always like this or did something happen? From my Google search, they had been together for five years, and everyone thought they were a match
made in heaven. One thing was for sure, they looked good together.
I finally fell asleep, and was awakened by a splitting headache. I rarely had headaches, but when I did, something was wrong. I looked at my phone; it was three PM, and I had a text message from a number I very
much recognized.
Jared's text: Hope I didn't scare you off. Sweet dreams. See you later. Jared.
Sweet dreams. Yeah, right.
What was I going to do about my situation? I could not
control my feelings for Jared Stern. Love speaks from the heart. Once that heart makes that choice, the mind, body, and soul succumb, and it has no alternative but to follow. The heart had ruled; it was out of my hands.
I dialed work and told them I was not coming in tonight. Five minutes later Amanda, my nurse manager, called me. I had some reports to do for her, which I had forgotten to do. No wonder, with all that happened last night, they slipped my mind; and she needed them for the morning's management
meeting. It would only take me a couple of hours to do, so I told her I would come in later tonight and the reports would be on her desk in the morning. I took a Motrin, set my alarm for eight PM, and went back to bed. I had just
finished helping Nate with his homework when my phone chimed; I had a text.
Jared's text: Did I scare you off?
Yes, you did.
I thought
I still had a headache, but it was tolerable. I took a
shower, got dressed in some thick brown leggings, a long beige t-shirt, a colorful long yarn cardigan sweater by Dolce, and my brown-cuffed suede and shearling Jimmy Choo booties. The hospital was always cold, so I had to dress
appropriately.
I tried to sneak into the office without being seen, but Marie saw me. She came knocking at the office door a minute later.
"Who is it?" I asked.
"Marie."
"Come in."
"Kyra, what are you doing here?"
"I have some reports to do for Amanda."
"Can you help us out?"
"I'm here for a couple of hours, Marie. What do you need me to do?"
"They announced a purple alert of twenty-eight. There are twenty-eight people in the ER who need beds. We all have six patients,
which means each nurse will be going up to seven patients. Nobody is happy right now."
I know what it feels like to be swamped, even though it is unfair and unsafe. How can we provide effective patient care when we do not
have the time to spend with our patients? On the other hand, those patients in the ER need beds and they need to be taken care of, so we would have to work with the situation. I couldn't leave my fellow nurses to fend for themselves in this mess.
"All right, Marie, but I'm out of here at five AM. I'll do the admissions. Can you get me some scrubs, a jacket, and some shoe covers?"
"Thanks, Kyra. The VIP has been asking for you."
"I'm not taking him."
"Can you do the pin care for me? I haven't had a chance to do it yet."
"Let me know when the patients get here. I'll do the admissions and assessments. The pin care — I don't think so. I'm not
going in that room tonight."
"Please, Kyra," she begged.
"I'll think about it, Marie."
"Thank you, thank you, Kyra. You are the best."
"I said I'll think about it. That's not a yes."
She left the office happily to deliver the good news to the rest of the staff. I completed the reports in a little over an hour. I knew
what Amanda wanted. I had previously gone over the surveys that were now committed to my memory. All I had to do was put them into report form. I placed the reports on Amanda's desk and went to the station for my scrubs, so I could
change and get to work. I checked my text as I walked to the nurses station.
A voice got my attention. "Nice sweater, Kyra." It was Gabby and her mom.
"Thank you. How are you guys doing?"
"We are doing just fine," Mrs. Stern said. "I cannot thank the staff here enough for taking such good care of my son. He is very pleased with the staff."
"You are welcome."
"Have a good night," Mrs. Stern said.
"Goodnight."
I was outside the nurses station, caught up in a text my sister had sent me, when I heard shouting coming from Room 818, the room next
to the nurses station. Then, a food tray flew out of the room and smashed into the wall. Amy, the nurse, came running out of the room.
"Call a gray alert!" I told Jackie, the secretary.
We had a violent patient and we need security immediately.
The female, announcer-controlled voice sounded over the speakers, "Gray alert Room 818-8 North, gray alert Room 818-8 North, gray alert Room 818-8 North."
Mr. Perry, the man in 818, had been my patient the night before. He was a schizophrenic and alcohol abuser who was admitted for abdominal pain. He had been refusing to take his psych medication, and had been going through alcohol withdrawal, which could make him a very volatile
individual, especially when the hallucinations set in. He needed to be sedated. He was ripping the room apart and throwing everything out the door.
At the end of the hall, in front of Room 825, Jared was
standing there, on crutches. J.C. was next to him. Jared looked worried and said something to J.C. Mr. Perry emerged from the room into the hallway yelling.
"Leave me alone!" Mr. Perry shouted, holding his
head.
"That bitch. She won't listen. Just leave me the fuck alone."
He was pacing back and forth, his eyes wild with craziness.
Where is security?
J.C. was slowly making his way toward Mr. Perry. I held up
my hand, signaling him to stop. I turned to Amy who was standing beside me. "He has Haldol and Benadryl — get them."
"Mr. Perry," I said and he stopped pacing,
"this is Nurse Kyra. Do you remember me?"
"Nurse Kyra," he replied, turning to look at me, "you are the nice one. You look different."
"Mr. Perry . . ."
"Nurse Kyra, don't let that bitch back in my room," he said angrily, pointing at Amy.
"Okay, Mr. Perry, I'll be your nurse tonight."
"I don't want her back in my room," he shouted
angrily.
He continued to pace back and forth, mumbling and holding his head.
"Mr. Perry, I'll be your nurse," I repeated calmly. "Can you please go back to your room?"
"No, no." He shook his head. "Don't want to go back... No more medicine."
"Okay, Mr. Perry, no more medicine."
Three security guards finally arrived. When Mr. Perry saw
them, he got aggressively hostile. Amy handed me the syringes with the Haldol and Benadryl and I hid them in my pocket. Mr. Perry refused to go back into his room. There was a struggle between him and the security guards, and he seemed
to be winning. He was a huge man.
J.C. stepped in and, grabbing Mr. Perry's left hand, he yanked it up behind his back, pushing him up against the wall. Mr. Perry yelled out in pain. They lowered him to the ground. He was still struggling.
"Guys, you'll have to hold him still," I told them.
With J.C. still holding his hand behind his back and the other security guards each holding a limb, I knelt and injected Mr. Perry in
his left buttock. They were then able to lift him and place him in his bed. He would be sleeping all night.
I settled Mr. Perry into bed. Jared was leaning against the wall, on his crutches, by his room. I pretended not to see him, picked up my
phone from the nurses station, and continued walking in the opposite direction.
My phone chimed.
Jared's text: Did my honesty scare you off? Can we talk?
I turned around and walked toward him. J.C. and the security
guys were by Room 818, talking.
He smiled as I approached. "So this is what you look like out of uniform? I almost didn't recognize you."
The smile disappeared from his face. "Do you know the
effect you have on men? You even had that crazy patient under your control. What you did there was incredibly brave and incredibly stupid."
"You seem concerned."
"I was terrified for you."
"What did you say to J.C.?"
"Not to let him touch you, and that's putting it nicely."
"Let me get you back to bed," I offered.
I opened the doors and he walked in on his crutches.
"You look very beautiful tonight," Jared said, as he sat on the bed.
"Thank you." I took the crutches from him, and
leaned them against the wall next to his bed. "Are you trying to flatter me, Mr. Stern? Because I do not get involved with patients."
"Hold on." He raised his hand. "Do we really
need to have this discussion again? Because if that's the issue, I can easily fix it."
"Stop it!" I snapped at him.
He smiled.
"Mr. Stern, I do not know what kind of woman you think
I am, but I do not get involved with men who are already in a relationship."
"An uncomplicated relationship."
"I really don't care how you describe it. It's still a
relationship. Have you ever had a complicated relationship?
"Yes," he answered. His eyes lost all their liveliness and were filled with sadness and pain.
I thought I'd better not delve into that issue right then.
"Why didn't you show up for work tonight?" he asked.
"I was not feeling well."
"Did it have anything to do with me being truthful about my relationship?"
He made it sound like I was punishing him for telling me the truth. Even though I appreciated his honesty, it made me realize that perhaps he could not offer me the kind of relationship I wanted - a complicated relationship with strong emotional attachments, meaning, and a promising
future. That look in his eyes earlier when he had answered yes to having had a complicated relationship made me think something had happened that changed him.
"Yes, it does. I do not do uncomplicated relationships,
and you already have a companion."
He grabbed my hand as I turned to leave.
"Kyra, please don't go. I need to talk to you and afterwards, if you decide you don't want to have anything to do with me, I
won't bother you anymore."
"Can we talk later?"
"You're not leaving?"
"I came in for a couple of hours to do some paperwork,
but I'm staying a little longer to help out my coworkers."
I tried to pull my hand away from his, but he held on tighter.
"Are you going to let me go?"
"I wish I didn't have to."
"Jared, I will be back in an hour to do your pin site care."
He brought my hand to his lips and planted a gentle kiss on the back of my hand; it sent a tingle up my arm.
"I'll be back."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"I don't expect you to."
He smiled.
I changed into the green medical scrubs, a long green
jacket, and placed the shoe covers over my Jimmy Choo booties. I did the admissions and assessments of three new patients in an hour. My stomach growled loudly, reminding me that I had not eaten anything substantial since I got home
from work yesterday morning. It was now one-fifteen AM, which meant I had not eaten in over twelve hours. I grabbed a Snickers bar from the nurses station and ate it quickly. J.C. was in the sitting area watching television.
"Great job with Mr. Perry," I said to him.
"Likewise," he responded.
Jared was in bed, his eyes closed; I thought he was asleep. He opened his eyes as I approached the bed.
"Right on time," he said. "Green suits you. Is there anything that does not look good on you?"
"Are you feeling all right?" I asked. He did not look like himself. He looked drained and tired.
"Apart from the occasional chill, I'm fine."
"You've been having chills?"
"Since early evening."
I logged myself into the computer mounted on the wall to
check his vital signs and noticed he had been spiking temperatures. The last temperature, taken at midnight, was 101.2.
"Kyra, is everything okay?" Jared asked.
"You have been running a fever. Let me do your pin
care." I was concerned about the pin site, which looked inflamed.
As I did his pin care, my unruly stomach protested loudly. It was embarrassing.
"When was the last time you ate?" Jared asked.
"This morning . . . well, yesterday morning."
"You haven't eaten all day?"
"No." My stomach protested angrily again.
"Pasta or steak?"
"What?"
"Do you want pasta or steak?"
"I'll get something when I'm done."
"That's not what I asked you, Kyra," he said placidly.
"J.C., bring in the food you brought." I looked up and he was on the phone with J.C.
All the pin sites were fine except for the one site that was
inflamed. I did another set of vitals; his temperature was 99.8. I called Dr. Collins, his attending, and got orders for wound culture, blood culture, and to start him on antibiotics. J.C. brought in two bags from one of my favorite
restaurants and placed them on the table, and then left.
"You need to eat, Kyra," Jared said seriously.
"Let me do these labs first and then I'll eat."
"Kyra, you are going to eat first, before you do
anything else." He said it in such an authoritative tone that I walked over to the table and took the food from the first bag my hand touched. It was shrimp pasta and I placed it in the microwave.
"Let me go write your orders. I'll be back in five minutes."
"Five minutes, Kyra, or I'll send J.C. to come find you," he warned.
I frowned at him.
"Five minutes," he repeated.
Back at the nurses station, I wrote the orders in his chart and Jackie, the secretary, entered them into the computer. I collected the supplies for the lab work and an intravenous start kit and went back to the
room as quickly as I could. I had no doubt he would send J.C. to find me. The seafood pasta was plated and there was a glass with ice, a bottle of lemonade, and a delicious slice of cheesecake with strawberries.
"Did you do this?" I asked.
"Eat, Kyra."
I think he did because the crutches were not where I had placed them earlier. I could not believe I was actually eating food from a patient.
Usually, when a patient offers a nurse food that's already in the room, we respectfully decline, no matter how hungry we are. If they insist, it ends up in the garbage. So, accepting food from Jared was a big thing. I sat and ate silently while he worked on his computer.
"Thanks for dinner," I said when I was finished.
"You're welcome."
Jared then allowed me to do the wound and blood cultures and send them off to the lab.