Stepbrother With Benefits 18 (Third Season) (7 page)

"It's not even the same story, though," she says, annoyed. "That's a different one."

"I don't care," I say. "It doesn't matter. I'm an English major, you know? I know a thing or two about stories. It's sort of part of my degree program, so..."

"Whatever," Scarlet says with a shrug. "Hey, let's go back. They're going to kick us out of here soon. They close down after breakfast and before lunch so they can clean up and get everything prepared."

"Sure, but you need to tell me the blowjob story later," I tell her. "I think this is important. Also, hold on, going back to the thing I said before, I really think you could probably give Caleb a blowjob in his sleep without him knowing. If you want. I'm not saying you should, I'm just saying I think you could, and I doubt Caleb would mind."

"You're just a freak, aren't you?" Scarlet asks.

"I mean, you could ask him first if you want."

"Like what?" she asks. "Just say something like, 'Hey, Caleb, do you mind if I try to make you cum in your sleep without waking you up?' or what?"

"Sure?" I offer.

"You're fucking weird," she says. "Seriously. I can see why you and Ethan are dating. You're both fucking weird."

"No," I say, resolute. "I'm not."

I have no reason for saying this. I'm just not going to admit I'm weird. I refuse! Ethan's weird, of course. He's a bad influence and his bad boy ways tend to make me do things that might otherwise be considered weird, but it's completely not my fault. I'm perfectly innocent in all of this.

We head out of the cafeteria and start walking back to the dorms. Except not. We're outside right now, the cafeteria behind us, dorms to the left, and the classrooms and lecture halls to the right. I spot something out of the corner of my eye. It's a sign. It's hanging off to the side by the entrance into the education building.

"Scarlet," I say to her. "I need to go."

"Ashley," she says to me. "We're kind of already going?"

"No, I mean, I need to go to class."

"Um, yeah, a little late for that, don't you think? You shouldn't have flown out here if you have to go to class. You kind of ditched school."

"Um, no," I say. Pointing. I point. I point at the sign, and Scarlet stares at me like I'm crazy. "I have my phone. I'll text you later, alright? I'm going to go to that. It's--"

I check. Oh no! I don't have time. It's starting soon. The bell rings. It literally just rang. That's it. The end of one class, and soon to be the beginning of another one.

"I need to go to that!" I tell her, pointing again. "That class. Oh my God, you have no idea how much I have to go to this. I'll tell you later."

"You don't even go to this school!" Scarlet yells after me before she starts laughing at me.

Well, you know what? I don't care! This is important. I don't even know how to explain how important this is. I've been waiting for this for my entire life.

Alright, that's a huge exaggeration. It's just been a couple of years, but still. I think a couple of years is a lot of time sometimes. It depends. There's context, of course. A lot of time is also a purely subjective concept based on personal frame of reference, but...

I open the door quick and join the rush of college students in the halls heading to their next class. It's pretty easy to blend in, considering I'm also a college student. It's not like I look much different or anything. I'm sort of missing my backpack and something to write with, but I can probably record the lecture on my phone, so that's not a big deal.

Yup! I can do this. I'm doing this. The layout is pretty regular and easy to follow, so I find the lecture hall I'm looking for without any trouble. I'm one of the first there, too. I hurry inside, find a good spot to sit that's out of the way but still in a good place in case I want to ask some questions, and...

I sit. I wait. He's not here yet. That's fine. I don't mind.

I'm sitting. I'm waiting. I'm...

"
A
re you for real
?" I ask Brittany. "On the second fucking day of class? Holy fuck."

"Whoa, calm down there, killer," Brittany says, laughing. "It's just a guest speaker. This is a good thing. It means we probably won't have homework this weekend."

"Yeah, exactly," I say. "That's the fucking point I'm trying to make, Brittany. That's the entire point. It's the second fucking day of class. We probably wouldn't have had any homework either way. This is a huge waste. It's a huge fucking--"

We step inside the classroom and I realize I'm being kind of loud, plus we're sort of almost late, so I decide to calm myself a little bit. Just a little, because, yeah, this is a huge fucking waste.

"We should have guest speakers later in the year," I tell her, quiet, so I'm not, uh... disruptive or whatever the fuck. Who knows? "Maybe before an essay is due or something. Yeah. That's a great time to have a guest speaker."

"Who the fuck is this guy, anyways?" I ask, looking over to the front of the room.

Except, apparently I'm a little too loud. Our guest speaker grins at me, then nods and offers me a curt bow.

"This
fucking
guy," he says, except the way he says it sounds classy as fuck, like some Englishman scholar or something, "is Doctor Roger Telford. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mister...?"

He's doing that thing. That pause or whatever. I've seen this before. Mostly by people at business events whenever I go to one with my dad. To be honest, I mostly went to those because of the free food. Why do I need free food? I have no fucking clue. It's free, that's why.

"Colton," I say, trying to also be classy as fuck. I'm like James Bond over here. "Ethan Colton."

"Wonderful," he says. "Do you mind if I use this introduction of ours to further the discourse of our lecture for today?"

"Uh, yeah, sure?"

Brittany laughs and just fucking leaves me there, because she's a huge bitch. Seriously, fuck you, Brittany. We're in one of the smaller lecture halls, so she just skips around, finds some seats, and sits down. At least she saves me a seat, so that's cool. It would be cool if I could sit, but I'm stuck up here with our guest speaker, Doctor Roger Telford, so unfortunately it's not cool at all.

Also, wait. Who the fuck is that? Brittany's sitting in one of the only open seats left, with an empty seat next to her, and there's this... this girl... she's cute. Cute as fuck, and, uh... not sure what's going on, but she kind of looks like Ashley? She's staring at me, too, giving me a dirty look.

Look, random fucking cute girl sitting next to Brittany. You're cute and all, but only Ashley can give me dirty looks like that. Cut that shit out.

"Let's pretend we're introducing ourselves," Roger says to me.

"Yeah, we just did that," I say to him.

The class laughs. Except for that girl sitting next to Brittany. She just glares at me. I'm not even trying to be funny here. Didn't we literally just introduce ourselves?

"Yes, quite right," Roger says, grinning. "Let me ask you something, Ethan. How do you feel about democracy?"

"Compared to what?" I ask.

"Oh, straight to the point!" he says, excited. "A wonderful question, too. Hm, let's see... what other alternatives exist besides democracy?"

"Monarchy, I guess," I say with a shrug. "Kings and Queens and all that."

"True, very true," he says. "Along with that comes a general order of aristocracy, correct? Dukes and lords and other members of a higher social standing."

"I feel like you're trying to make a point here, but I have no fucking clue what you're saying," I say.

"No, no, you misunderstand. We're merely having a friendly conversation right now."

"I have never had a conversation with anyone about dukes and lords and Kings and Queens," I tell him, straight up.

"Why's that?" he asks. "Do you not find them relevant in today's society?"

"Yeah, I guess?" I say. "We live in the United States. Maybe if I lived in England or something, but, uh... don't get me wrong, I'm sure the Queen of England is cool and all. Or the Princes, or King, or whatever the fuck is going on... uh, yeah, they're probably cool people but they don't exactly dictate how my day to day life goes. I don't even know if they dictate anyone's day to day life in England anymore, either."

I think this is deep. I don't actually know if it's deep, but I think we're having a deep conversation or something? Roger Telford over here looks excited and intrigued, at least. This is strange to me. I've never had a teacher look at me with excitement or intrigue before. To be honest, I think I kind of annoy them. Don't worry, it's usually mutual.

Also, who the fuck is that girl? Now she's whispering to Brittany about something. She looks really fucking familiar...

"Did you know Alexis de Tocqueville traveled throughout the New World, the early United States of America, asking very similar questions?" Roger asks.

"Can I be honest with you for a second?" I ask him.

"Yes, by all means."

"I have no clue who that is. Was she sexy? Kind of a sexy name, you know? Exotic or something."

Then it starts. Holy fuck does it start.

"Alexis de Tocqueville was a man, Ethan!" she says.
She
being that girl sitting next to Brittany. "Don't you have a textbook? He kind of wrote it.
Democracy in America?
"

Oh. Uh... yeah, I do have a textbook. I have that textbook. I guess I kind of always knew that someone had to write these things, but it's not like you remember who, right? It's not like this is the next big Stephenie Meyer book. Actually, hold that thought for a second. What if Stephenie Meyer wrote a history book? I'm not a huge fan of
Twilight
or anything, but if there were vampires written into history books, I'd read them.

Also, wait. Hold the fuck up. Wait a fucking minute.

That girl isn't just some random cute girl. I know that girl. I am intimately familiar with that girl, and yeah, she's cute as fuck.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Princess?" I shout back to her.

She just glares at me and gives me a dirty look, but then when everyone else starts to look at her too, she blushes. "I'm... I'm attending class..." she mutters.

"Is something the matter?" the guest speaker asks me. "We seem to have a newcomer to our friendly conversation. And you are, Miss...?"

She mumbles out her name, but no one can hear her. This is the Ashley I remember from school, too. Just, uh... I didn't really think I'd be seeing this side of her at my school.

"That's Ashley," I tell him. "I actually have no idea what the fuck she's doing here, though."

"I'm listening to Doctor Telford's guest lecture on
Democracy in America!
" she shouts, but it's kind of a squeaky shout.

"Actually, you know what?" I say, to someone. I have no idea who. "Why's a doctor talking to us about history? How's that even work?"

"He has a doctorate in history, you idiot," Ashley says.

Holy fuck, Princess! Tell me how you really feel? "Hey, Princess, I'm not the one who just randomly decided to barge into some lecture at a school she doesn't even go to. I don't think you can--"

Oh, uh... shit. I didn't mean to say that. I mean, yeah, I kind of meant to say that, but I just ratted her out, didn't I? Fuck. Little Miss Good Girl over here is going to get in trouble. This will probably be the first time she's ever gotten in trouble, too.

Wow. I'm a great boyfriend, huh? Yeah, uh... let's just hope she can forgive me for that one...

"You're not enrolled in this class?" the doctor asks her.

"Um... not exactly?" she says. "I... I saw you were going to be here. I'm a big fan, Doctor Telford! I'm not even just saying that. I'm sure you don't remember, but I sent you an email a couple of years ago. I really loved your book about the subtle nuances on social order in
Democracy in America
. It's honestly one of the most insightful and illuminating books I've ever read. I don't know if you were just being polite, but you said you'd--"

She's rambling. She does that sometimes. Mostly when she gets excited. There's two sides to Ashley's excitement. I know both of them pretty fucking well.

One is when she's excited about educational stuff. She'll either sit there and listen like it's the most interesting fucking thing in the world, or she'll ramble for days about how interesting it is, why it's interesting, what's so fucking interesting about it, who else thinks it's interesting...

I think you get the point.

The other is when she's excited about, uh... sex stuff? My cock, alright? When she's excited about my cock. She doesn't ramble then, she just kind of breaks down. Actually, it's kind of similar to when she's excited about educational stuff and she sits there and listens like it's the most interesting thing in the world. Except, you know, we're having sex or something and she's looking at me like I'm the most interesting thing in the world.

The point I'm trying to make is that this is rambling excited Ashley, and I didn't think I'd ever get to see this side of her again, but it's kind of the cutest fucking thing in the world. I'm in love. I was already in love, but I'm more in love or something.

Ramble about history at me, Princess.
Aw, yeah.

"Ashley--" The doctor of history taps his chin as if he's trying to remember something. "--Banks, was it?" he asks. "I believe I said you'd be a welcome addition to any lectures I might hold in the future. And, of course, I'll say the same thing now. I can't say I agree with your decision to skip classes at your own college today, but I take some pride in knowing that you decided to skip them in order to attend my lecture."

I'm just going to shut up and not say anything else. I'm not going to tell him that she skipped her classes in order to come here and punish me with sexy stuff, and then, uh... more sex. Also, almost shower sex. I'm just not going to say any of that.

It helps that Ashley's beaming like a fucking flashlight right now. She looks so fucking happy, you don't even know. I guess it's cool. I kind of like this Roger Telford guy, too. He doesn't seem as stuffy as a lot of history people. He seems alright.

"There aren't going to be any problems between you two, though, are there?" he asks us. "Heated discussions are one thing, but arguments are quite another."

"Nah," I say. "It's cool. She's my stepsister."

Apparently it's not cool, though. Not fucking cool at all, I guess.

"You're an asshole, Ethan!" Ashley says, yelling at me. To Roger Telford, she adds, "I'm his girlfriend. It's fine. I know how to deal with him."

And... this starts some huge uproar. Which is kind of stopped before it starts, because Doctor Telford apparently knows how to do those crazy loud wolf whistles. You know where you stick some fingers in your mouth or whatever the fuck and whistle and it's loud as fuck?

Everyone's quiet after that. Roger grins at me. "You seem to have an assortment of interesting stories yourself, Ethan. I'd love to discuss them some day. I don't mean to boost my own importance, but if you'd like, I can arrange to have lunch with you and wonderful... stepsister girlfriend? Is that what we're going with?"

"I just call her Princess, but I guess you can go with whatever," I say.

He laughs at that. "How about I offer you an invitation to have lunch with me sometime, and you can offer an equal invitation to Ashley? I imagine she'll be impressed with your prowess and ability to gain such a prestigious offer."

"Oh, she's impressed with my prowess, alright," I say.

Why the fuck am I still talking? I don't know why I said that. I mean, fuck, it's true, but...

Ashley's mumbling and blushing to herself in between glaring at me.

"Oh, to be young again," Doctor Telford says with a silly, wistful sigh.

"I'd like that invitation, though," I say to him. "Going to be honest with you, I think history is kind of boring, but your lecture is fun so far, and I guess Ashley thinks you're awesome, so..."

"I try," he says, smirking at me. "Shall we get back to the lecture at hand, though? Unfortunately we only have so much time, so..."

"Yeah," I say. "Democracy. In America. Some guy with a girl's name. Let's do it."

"Alexis de Tocqueville," he says with a laugh and a nod. "Indeed, his book on Democracy in America was intriguing at the time, and even now it's an exciting window into history. He traveled the countryside asking people about their thoughts on the New World. This was fascinating back then, because the concept of democracy was just taking root. Everyone had different ideas and ideals. Compared to Tocqueville's home country of France, where the aristocracy had a fading foothold, this New World was ruled by something many thought of as more chaotic. If none exist who are powerful enough to control the country alone, how will it grow? It seems an odd question now, but at the time it was what many thought of as the proper way of the world."

"Huh!" I say.

"I like that," he says. "
Huh!
A grand sentiment in a simple exclamation. I'll let you sit now, Ethan, but before I do, is there anything you'd like to ask me about myself?"

"Yeah, actually," I say. I didn't realize I had a question until now, but I do. "That Alexis guy wrote a book, and... you wrote a book on his book? You wrote a book about a book. How the fuck does that work? Like a book report or what?"

"Yes, something like that," he says, laughing. "A very big book report. You should read it sometime. I bet your girlfriend would love someone she could talk to about it. Show her a different side to that prowess of yours, hm?"

Oh, fuck. This guy is good. I like the way he thinks. If he's this good now, how fucking amazing is his book? Ashley might be on to something here. I need to read it. He has a copy on the front desk, too. My new best friend, Roger, hands me a copy of his book with a wink and a nod.