Steering the Stars (28 page)

       I took a deep breath. “I think so.”

       He looked down, pretending to be interested in the half-full bag of pecans. “As weird as it is, I’m not surprised.”

       I wasn’t expecting that response. “Why do you say that?”

       Owen shrugged. “Because it’s Hannah.”

       “And?” I needed more.

       He leaned forward slightly and raised his eyes like he’d find the explanation he was searching for on the ceiling. “And, Hannah’s great. I guess someone else was bound to figure it out. It’s not like I’m sitting here shooting off fireworks for her but… she’s the first girl I loved and that counts for something, you know?”

       Keeping my eyes on him, I nodded. “I’m sorry if she hurt you. I know she didn’t mean to.”

       He waved me off. “It’s just as much my fault as it is hers. It’s probably more my fault. I know she has plans and it’s hard to explain, but I guess I thought if she couldn’t be satisfied with me then what was the point of trying to stay together? Wasn’t it better to break it off rather than end up hating and resenting each other?”

       “So you don’t hate her? She says you won’t respond to her emails or return her calls.”

       Owen blew out a hard breath between his teeth. “I don’t hate her, but I’m not ready to be friends or talk to her.”

       “Do you think things will ever be better?”

       “I don’t know, Care.” He shrugged. “I just don’t know. I hope so.”

       “Me too.”

       We stared at each other for a long time then Owen made a motion with his hands. “You better try the rest of those dresses on. Didn’t you say you have to get back to Libby Park by four?”

       “Oh, right!” I said, grabbing the rest of the stack and disappearing inside the dressing room.

       After the door clicked behind me, I heard Owen ask, “I can’t believe I didn’t ask this already, but who’s the lucky guy?”

       “Uh—the lucky guy?” I asked as I struggled with the back zipper. It was great that Owen and I had talked about Hannah, but surely he didn’t want to hear the details of her love life.

       “Your date for Homecoming,” he clarified. “You never said.”

       I faltered. “Oh… It’s Henry actually.”

       “Henry? Henry Vaughn?”

       I looked at myself in the mirror and grimaced. “Yeah.”

      “Wow. But, you know, I always thought there was something there. I remember when we were kids and you loved going with Hannah’s family to all his games.”

       “Maybe I just liked sports,” I said defensively.

       “You never came to my games.”

       He had me there. “It’s not like you’re thinking,” I told Owen as I slipped the green dress over my head. “Henry and I are just friends.”

       “What does Hannah think?”

       “That’s the thing... I haven’t exactly told her. She thinks… well, she might be under the impression that I like someone else,” I hesitantly admitted.

       “What the hell? Northside homecoming is in a week. Are you planning to enlighten her?”

       “Henry wants me to but I’m—”

       “You’re afraid she won’t want you dating her brother?”

       “I told you,” I said, feeling the heat in my cheeks, “it’s not like that.” I was sure Owen was perfectly aware that despite my protests it was, in fact,
like that.
For me at least.

       “If you’re worried about gaining family approval, you know Hannah loves you. If anything, I bet she thinks Henry isn’t good enough for you.”

       “It’s not…” I sighed and tried again. “When Hannah wanted to go out with you, I warned her that it would disrupt the balance of our friendship and face it—I was right. Don’t you think it’s hypocritical for me to do the exact same thing with her brother?”

       “I don’t know about all that but I can tell you, honesty is the best policy.”

       I laughed. “Thank you for the clichéd wisdom.”

       “I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill,” he continued.

       “Owen!” I shouted.

       But he ignored me. “Secrets don’t make friends…”

       “Stop it!” I demanded as I walked out of the dressing room.

       Owen was laughing. “Fine. But only because I have to tell you that you look amazing in that dress.”

       “Really?”

       He nodded in approval. “Really.”

       I did a little spin. “I’m still not sure if I like this one or the blue one better.”

       “So get them both and return the one you don’t use.”

       “You think?”

       “Yes I think.”

       “That’s actually a really good idea.”

       “I know it’s shocking but I do get those sometimes.” Owen crossed his arms. “You could even take photos and get Hannah’s opinion.”

       I smiled. “You’re right.”

       “And,” he went on, “you can tell her you’re possibly dating her brother.”

       My smile wobbled.

       “Because, Care,” he said seriously. “No matter what happened between Hannah and me, she’s your best friend. She deserves the truth. Even if you’re afraid.”

****

I looked at the two dresses. I’d gotten home an hour ago and had hung them both face-out on my closet door. Now, I was lying in my bed staring at them and wondering what I’d gotten myself into when I’d agreed to go to the dance with Henry.

       Owen was right about everything.
Of course
he was.

       Honesty
is
the best policy. Hadn’t I been upset just last week when Hannah had been the one keeping things from me?

       There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I had to tell her about homecoming. The longer I put it off, the weirder it became. Plus, not to be frivolous, but I really did need her help deciding which dress to wear. Owen’s newfound fashion expertise was hilarious but I wasn’t entirely sure watching a few episodes of
Project Runway
was enough to help me with this decision.

       I puffed out my cheeks and as I slowly let out a gush of air, I told myself that it would be okay. Hannah was probably going be surprised. She was probably going to freak, but maybe—just maybe—she’d be okay with it?

       Like Owen said earlier, she
was
my best friend.

       I picked up my phone and saw she was online. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have over instant message, but it was a good place to start.

CareBear16: Do you have time? I need you for something.

Jellybean08: What’s up?

CareBear16: Well, the first part is that I need your help choosing a dress.

Jellybean08: A dress for what?

CareBear16: Homecoming…

Jellybean08: Umm, way to bury the lead! Why didn’t you tell me you were going??? I thought you hated that kind of thing.

CareBear16: LOL Sorry! I’m telling you now?

Jellybean08: So, does this mean Miles asked you
?

      
 
Here we go…

       It was the moment of truth.

       My legs were bouncing against my mattress. My heart was pounding in my chest. I’d already bit off the nails on my right hand and now I was working on the left. Before this night was over, my fingernails were going to be nothing more than raw nubs. So much for having pretty nails for homecoming.

       I cleared my throat and tried to pull together enough courage to confess to my best friend that despite my better judgment, I was falling for her brother.

CareBear16: Not exactly… Are you free to talk on the phone?

Jellybean08: Dude. I’m calling you in a minute. I just have to run up to my room.

CareBear16: Okay. I’ll be here.

      
 
Trying not to throw up
, I thought to myself.

       I got up from my bed and walked over to my desk. Slumping into my swivel chair, I fidgeted with the pencil holder and stapler. Then I chewed my nails some more. Aspen noticed my agitation and came over and laid her head in my lap. I rubbed her soft fur and kissed her head. Sneaky thing repaid me by trying to steal an open bag of gummy bears from my desk drawer.

       I stopped her, but decided to relent and give her one from the bag. Gummy bears probably weren’t recommended by the vet, but she’d put a lot of effort into opening the drawer in the first place. It was not an easy feat when you lack opposable thumbs.

       When I couldn’t take the waiting anymore, I jumped out of my desk chair and began pacing the room. I pulled my hair up, only to rip it back down again.
What was taking Hannah so long anyway?   

       And, when she did call me, what was I going to say? How was I going to start this conversation?
Hey, I like Henry?
That wasn’t the kind of thing you blurted out. It was the kind of thing you broached delicately and carefully finessed your way through.

       I needed a plan.

       Gah, why didn’t I have this all worked out already? I’d had weeks to think about it. Hours upon hours to come up with something and get the phrasing right. It was stupid to ask her to call me when I hadn’t thought it through properly. I should have—

       A shrill ringing sound interrupted my racing thoughts.

       My time was up.

       I took a deep breath and answered the phone.

Slamming my bedroom door closed, I whooped impatiently into the phone, “I demand to know all the details! How did he ask you?”

       “Promise you won’t get mad?”

       That threw me. I shrugged off the jacket I’d been wearing on my date and dropped it into my makeshift hamper. My cheeks were still cool from the chilly night and my lips felt puffy from Joel’s goodnight kiss. My veins were still buzzing with excitement. I felt like, at any moment, I might take off into the stratosphere like hot air balloon. “Why would I get mad? Over what?”

       “Just promise.”

       “Cross my heart,” I said as I pulled off my shoes and jeans and left them by the discarded jacket.

       Her hesitation caught my attention.

       “What is the big deal?” I asked seriously as I stretched out on top of the comforter in just my shirt and underwear.

       Caroline breathed heavily into the phone.
Well, that didn’t sound good.
My mood shifted.

       “What?”

       “This is hard,” she said.

       I laughed uncomfortably. “Caroline, come on.”

       “I just…”She trailed off before she could finish the sentence.

       “Spit it out,” I encouraged. “Unless you’re calling to tell me that Henry really did sell all my shoes. In that case, I don’t even want to know.

       “Well,” she said softly, “it actually is about Henry.”

       Annoyed, I sat up and dropped my legs over the side of the bed. My feet rubbed against the woven carpet that covered the wooden floor. “Are you kidding?” My voice was upticked in anger. “I was joking.”

       “No, you don’t understand,” she answered quickly. “Henry didn’t sell your shoes. He…” Another big breath. “Well, I’m sort of going to the dance with him.”

       “So, my
brother
is your Homecoming date? Not Miles?”

       Caroline still sounded nervous. “Yeah.”

       I flopped back to the bed.
The shoes were safe.
“Oh.”

       “
Oh
? That’s all you have to say?”

       “Well, compared to getting rid of my shoes…” Even though she couldn’t see me, I shrugged mildly. “I’m disappointed for you about Miles but I guess it makes sense.”

       “It does?”

       “Sure,” I told her, switching the phone to my other ear and rolling to my side. “I mentioned to Henry that you were trying to make Miles jealous. Obviously, I didn’t expect him to ask you to Homecoming but I can see it. As much as it pains me to admit, he’s a good guy.”

       “What do you mean, you told Henry about Miles?”

       “Either I told him or he asked me.” I shook my head. “I can’t really remember. We were emailing and it just came up and I figured he could help you play the jealousy angle. This wasn’t what I had in mind, but...”

       There was a long silence. Finally, I asked, “Caroline? You still there?”

       “The jealousy angle?” she asked.

       “Yeah.”

       “Why would you do that?”

       I was startled by her harsh tone. “Do what?”

       “Do
what
? God, Hannah...”

       I thought about our conversations—the ones where she told me about Miles—but everything was scrambled in my brain. “I don’t—”

       But she didn’t let me finish. “How could you do this to me?”

       Stiffly, I ask, “Why are you freaking out?”

       “How can you even ask me that?”

       “Because I’m confused,” I said honestly. “I thought telling Henry could only help the cause. Remember Operation Cupid? Wasn’t the whole idea to make Miles jealous?”

       Caroline let out a frustrated groan. “There is no cause, Hannah. You don’t understand anything. Or maybe you do and you just don’t want me to be happy.”

       What?
I frowned into the phone. “Are you hormonal or something? What the hell is your problem?”

       “
My
problem?” The question exploded from her.

       “Yes, your problem!” I snapped, the tempo of my heartbeat picking up. “You have to know that I was only trying to help and now you’re being… I don’t know! You’re being crazy.”

       “Am not!”

       “Are too!” I yelled, completely aware we sounded like toddlers throwing tantrums.

       Caroline gave an annoyed grunt. “Maybe I am being crazy. Maybe I’m crazy mad because you went behind my back.
AGAIN
!”

       “What is
that
supposed to mean?”

       “What do you think it’s supposed to mean?

       “I have no idea!” I shouted.

       “I’m talking about Owen.”

       “What about Owen? You told me that you understood. I thought we were fine.”

       “Well, I lied,” she said. “I saw him this afternoon and you should know that he’s absolutely devastated.”

       I tried to speak but couldn’t. It was like a dozen cotton balls had been shoved in my mouth. “I...I—”

       She kept going. “You did that to him, Hannah. You ruined everything!”

       My breaths were heavy. My heart was popping in my chest like machine gun fire. “I said I was sorry. I know I handled things with Owen badly, but I didn’t know that he was so torn up. He still hasn’t talked to me.”

       I heard sniffling on the other end of the line and that’s how I knew that things were really bad. When Caroline got mad, she yelled. When she was furious, she cried.

       “It’s not just Owen,” she said. “It’s everything. How could you go behind my back and ask your brother to take me to Homecoming as a pity date?”

       “I didn’t!” was my vehement response.

       “Well, maybe not in so many words but you did ask him to pretend and… Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?” she cried. “I’m completely mortified!”

       “Caroline…”

       “I’m serious. I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life!”

       “Why?” I asked. “This is Henry we’re talking about. It’s not like I emailed some random guy off the street and asked him to take you. He’s my brother.”

       “Exactly. It’s
Henry
,” she said sharply. “God, I can’t even…”

       I squeezed the phone even harder. “You can’t even
what
?”

       “I can’t talk to you any more about this. I’m done.”

       There was silence.

       “Caroline?”

       Breathing fast, I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it. She had ended the call without even saying goodbye.

       And now I was the one who was crying.