Steel Rush (In the Shadows#5) (9 page)

Beth sniffs her annoyance as she steps into place beside me at the clinic’s door. As the rosy-cheeked woman in her mid-thirties approaches behind the glass door, a look of surprise on her face, Beth mutters, “It would be nice to be my own boss.”

“It has its benefits,” I say, then push the sunglasses up on my head so the woman can see my face. Pointing to the locked door, I nod, asking her for permission to enter.

“I’m sorry but we’re closed today,” she says the moment she unlocks the door and swings it open. “I’m only here because the alarm went off.” Waving her hand, she hurries on. “Are you here to make another appointment, Miss Carver?”

Beth and I exchange glances and I ask, “Can we come inside for a minute?”

While the lady flips on several lights as we walk through the empty waiting room and back to her office, I whisper to Beth. “Just follow my lead. If she thinks I’m Celeste, we’ll get access to her medical records.”

Beth is biting hard on her bottom lip. She’s stressed and worried for Celeste, so I squeeze her arm to get her to calm down. Nodding, she edges a bit closer to me.

Once we’re seated in the chairs across from Nancy Westin, R.N.’s desk—at least that’s what the desk nameplate says—I ask, “Is everything all right? I saw the police drive away.”

Nancy waves. “Please don’t worry, Miss Carver. There were no threats to the clinic. Our main computer was damaged and some filing cabinets and desks were broken into, but thankfully we don’t keep money here.” She turns on her computer and hits a few keys. “Fortunately the appointment calendar works just fine.” Sliding her finger down the screen, she nods and smiles. “It appears you’re in luck. We had a cancellation yesterday afternoon for next Thursday. It’s also the last appointment of the day.” Lifting her gaze to mine, she continues, “Would you be able to make that?”

Beth instantly straightens in her chair, her nostrils flaring. Clearing my throat, I say, “In light of this recent break-in and your database issue, I would like to request a copy of my records.”

Nancy lifts her chin slightly. “Your information is perfectly safe. We have an off-site backup system.”

“I understand that, but—”

“Do you plan to switch clinics?” she interrupts, her voice pitching slightly.

I fold my hands in my lap, adopting a calm demeanor. “I’m reserving the right, but no I haven’t made that decision yet.”

Exhaling obvious relief, the nurse stands. “If you’ll just wait right here, I’ll make a copy of your records for you.”

As soon as she walks out, Beth looks at me, her expression tense. “This whole situation freaks me out. I can’t believe Celeste didn’t tell me.” Gesturing around the office, she continues, her voice dropping, “And I can’t believe Celeste would—”

Hearing footsteps coming back, I grip Beth’s hand and say under my breath. “We don’t know anything yet. Don’t jump to conclusions.”

Nancy appears in the doorway, looking pale. “I’m sorry to inform you, Miss Carver, but your record appears to be among a set of folders that were taken from the filing cabinet.”

Disappointed, I hold her gaze. “Are you serious? If your computer system is down, how can I get a digital record?”

The woman tenses. “Our backups will be restored next week, and I can get you a physical copy then if you would like, Miss Carver.”

I stand, frustrated that we’ve hit a wall. Right now all we know is that Celeste had a procedure planned, but not what kind of procedure. And I can’t ask what it was or even if she went through with it since,
I’m
Celeste. “Well, I guess that answers your question as to if I’m keeping that appointment.”

Nancy’s shoulders slump. “I’m truly sorry, Miss Carver. This is the first time we’ve ever had a break-in. Would you like us to destroy your blood work as well?”

“Yes!” Beth says quickly as she rises to her feet beside me, but I grip her arm and shake my head.

“No, Ms. Westin. Please keep my blood work for now.”

Relief flickers across the woman’s face. “That’s good then. If you decide to go through with the procedure fairly soon, we won’t have to re-do the blood work.”

“Wait? She didn’t have the procedure done? The appointment you’re referring to isn’t a follow up appointment?” Beth blurts, holding the nurse’s gaze.

“Um?” Nancy looks at me, confused. “You didn’t tell her?”

This
is how we’ll get our answer. We’re probably breaking the law, but Celeste’s life could be on the line. We need to know everything we can, right now.
Anything
we learn could help find her. I heave an exaggerated sigh and gesture to Beth. “It’s okay, this is my sister. You can tell her. Maybe hearing it from a professional, it’ll sink in.”

Nancy’s blonde eyebrows shoot up. “This is highly unorthodox, but if you insist.” Turning to Beth, she says, “No, your sister has not gone through with the procedure. She had an appointment late yesterday, but she never showed for it.” Spreading her hands, she shifts her attention back to me, sympathy in her tone. “Sometimes this happens. It’s the woman’s choice in the end.”

When Beth throws her arms around my neck and squeezes me tight, a pang hits my heart. I pat Beth’s back and smile at the nurse.

A slight smile on her lips, Nancy shifts back to her professional self. “Please keep in mind the sooner you make a decision the better, Miss Carver. Now if you ladies don’t mind, I need to lock this place up and try to make the last half of my son’s soccer game.”

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell me,” Beth says in a quiet voice when we’re a half hour away from her home. She’d been quiet the whole ride, so I used that time to borrow her phone and do some research on what is required to do a paternity test. “I don’t even know who the father is,” Beth continues, waving her hand in frustration. “As far as I knew, she wasn’t dating anyone. Unless…”

I glance up from staring at her phone’s screen, glad she and I are at least on the same wavelength in thinking about the father. In my mind, it has to be the Deceiver. “Unless, what?”

Beth glances my way, her eyes wide. “Unless Calder Blake is the father.”

I quickly shake my head and try not to react to her suggestion, even though my stomach churns. “It’s not Calder.”

Her gaze narrows. “You don’t know that for certain. Why else would she be so insistent on him as her new guard?”

“Maybe because she was serious about having a stalker, Beth,” I counter. “You heard that nurse. Celeste never showed for her appointment. She certainly didn’t
fly
to New Jersey and since I had her car, she must’ve rented one.”

“Okay, so she got a rental car, but the police said the one they found was on 495. That route is way out of her way.”

I shrug. “I agree it doesn’t make any sense, but we also don’t know what else she did last night or where she went. Maybe the rental car had a GPS in it. Hopefully the police are checking that. Whatever you do…don’t say anything to your father or Phillip about her pregnancy. Not right now. There’s still a chance Celeste could be found or return on her own.”

She looks at me like I’m crazy. “No worries. I’m not saying a
word
. But I’m also not discounting Calder as the potential baby daddy—”

“You can nix that idea right now, Beth!” I snap, furious at the doubt she’s planting in my head. “There was another man in her life, and if the blood results from the abandoned car turns out to be your sister’s, then I think we should share what we know.”

“What man?” Just as Beth meets my gaze, her phone rings in my hand.

As the name Brent pops up on her phone’s caller ID, I shake my head. “I don’t know his name.”

“Then how do you know this?”

I swallow, unsure if I should say anything until I hear back from Calder on the text conversation I sent him. Phillip and his men won’t find that text conversation on the phone, and I don’t want Beth mentioning a possible lead to anyone, not until we have a
name
for the Deceiver. “Just trust me.”

She frowns. “Saying things like that doesn’t help your case,” she snaps as she hits the speaker button on her steering wheel to answer the incoming call. “Hello?”

“Hey!” a deep voice booms through her car speakers.

“Hey, yourself,” she answers in a chirpy tone.

“Where are you?”

“Just out running errands—”

“You don’t have me on your speaker, do you, babe? You know how much I hate that.”

Beth gestures for me to hand her the phone, but I’m completely frozen.
That voice.

Rolling her eyes, she grabs the phone from my hand and puts it to her ear. “Sorry, I was just trying to be a responsible driver.”

Once his voice is no longer resonating throughout the entire car, I’m finally able to tear my gaze away. I feel physically ill. He’s the face I never saw, but the voice I’ll never forget. Beth’s boyfriend is the unknown guy who helped Jake violate me in high school.

A shudder of embarrassment rocks through me as I glance out the window. Just hearing his voice brings the shame slamming back…I rub my jacket sleeves hard along my thighs to alleviate the fire burning across my wrists and hate the sudden clawing desire for slicing pain, the need to feel a release. I close my eyes and gulp, working hard to regain control.

Beth pulls into the Carver’s drive, rambling on about last night’s cancelled fight. “When do you think it’ll be rescheduled?” As soon as the car rolls to a halt, I fling open the door. “Hey…wait—” she calls out, but I don’t stop.

My lungs burn as I run in the front door and straight up to Celeste’s room.

I rip off my jacket and push my sleeves up, then close the bathroom door behind me. Yanking open the drawers, my hands shake when I find a small pair of scissors. I quickly open them and stare at the sharp blades. They would accomplish what I need.

I flick my gaze to my wrist, my palms burning and my breath heaving. I flex my hand, digging my fingernails into my palm. That pain isn’t enough, but the scissors would be.

When my attention slides up my arm to the Never tattoo on my forearm, a long-forgotten conversation I had with my sister during her early rounds of chemo and radiation pops into my head.

Sophie’s eyes were closed when I walked into her hospital room. She looked so broken and pale. My chest squeezing with sadness, I sat in the chair beside her bed and gingerly lifted her hand into mine, hoping I don’t wake her.

The moment my hand settled over hers, Sophie’s brown eyes popped open and she smiled. It wasn’t a weak smile. It was wide and radiant, despite the medical procedures that were destroying her body in an attempt to heal it.

“Hey, Cassie. How’s it going?”

I lightly flexed my fingers over hers. “How are
you
doing?”

“I’m still here,” she chirped, then winked.

Her lighthearted comment made my heart ache. I folded my hand around hers, in awe of her sunny outlook. “How do you do it, Sophie? How do you sit there smiling instead of screaming at the universe for what’s happening to you?”

“What good would it do to waste all that energy resenting?” she said, shrugging. “Why spend my time on anger and fury when instead I can be living my life in the most positive way that I can…even if that means all I can do right now is grin at you while lying in a hospital bed?”

When I shook my head and offered an amazed smile, she waved her free hand toward the monitors and the IV in her arm. “All this stuff is just noise I choose not to listen to.” Turning her hand under mine, she clasped my fingers with surprising tightness. “No one can live your life better than you can, Cass. Never forget that even at your weakest
you
are still in control.”

Exhaling, I slowly lower the scissors to the counter, then kiss the raven on my wrist, tears trickling down my cheeks. “I miss you so much, Sophie.”

Once I take several deep breaths, the need to cut passes, but I still feel dirty. Shrugging out of my clothes, I step into the shower, hoping a good scrub under hot water will help me clear my head.

The bathroom is full of steam by the time I shut off the water. I cough at the fog curling in the air and grab the towel off the fogged glass door, my skin suddenly chilled without the hot water raining down on me. Wrapping the towel around my body, I slide the glass back and suck in a breath. Phillip is leaning casually against the doorjamb.