Steel Lily ARC (28 page)

As I turned the pages of Jaxon’s so-called journal, my stomach roiled and I fought back the bile that crept up my throat. My eyes burned with tears that overflowed unchecked onto my cheeks. Each entry was less fatherly, less caring, and more scientific. More apathetic.

How could a father do that to his son?

I quit reading every entry when my own tears splashed down onto already water-stained pages. In my haste to end the sick introduction to Jaxon’s life, I flipped to the last page.

14 July, 2020

We have successfully acclimated S1 to functioning on 2.55 kPa and 85% COhb. It is scientifically possible to alter our bodies to accept the low oxygen and high carbon monoxide levels. How low we can go will require further
testing
(torture)
. We will continue to push S1’s abilities and see how long he is able to maintain prolonged exposure to these harsh environments over his prepubescent years. Soon we will be able to begin testing on adults.
(Starting with who?)

I snapped the book shut, closed my eyes tight, and leaned back into the suddenly too-soft couch. Everything seemed too much. This place, this couch, this ability of mine. Everything that Jaxon had written and crossed out in his father’s journal, it all made it clear how he became what he was today. His father had hurt him beyond what anyone should have to endure. The one person Jaxon should have been able to count on for safety was the one who hurt him the most. No wonder he lashed out at everyone.

No wonder he didn’t need a mask to breathe in our dome.

Riggs had made him capable of surviving in the harshest of environments. I flipped back to the page that described his eyes. Bloodshot.

Alice’s eyes.

Was Riggs putting her through the same torture that Jaxon had been forced to endure?

The click of the door turning made me jump, and I shoved the journal under a massive throw pillow as I turned to find Sari coming in.

She let out a long exhale as she hung her bag on the hook that situated by the door. “Avery, I’m so glad you’re here. Was Alice okay?”

I swallowed hard. “Riggs put a tracker in her.”

“I had a bad feeling about her not showing up after you mentioned it,” Sari said. She kicked the corner of the couch as she plopped down in the easy chair beside me. She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands, revealing even more smudged ink in her palms than the last time I saw her. Her eyes were rimmed with red, probably from staring at a computer screen for too long.

She shook her head in frustration. “Damn. Double damn. How’d she take it? Does she know what it means?”

“I’m pretty sure she knows it’s not a good thing. She’s in the bedroom sleeping it off,” I said grimly, my mind returning to Alice huddled in the shower and the hollow look in her eyes. Before I could cry, I motioned to the scribbles on her palms. “What’d you find out today? The skeleton of massive proportions?”

Sari went and grabbed a thick blanket from the basket beside the fire. She threw it over the coffee table, and I gave her a look that questioned her sanity. Her voice was barely audible over the sounds of the fireplace, and I strained to catch her words. “First off, anything that ticks, anything that has moving parts, could be a device to listen in on us. So
that
,” she jerked her head in the direction of the blanketed coffee table, “is a very minor attempt to make it less possible to hear us.”

She stood up and pulled me toward the kitchen, the whole time whispering. “Riggs wasn’t always so, you know…” she waggled her fingers in front of her like the boogey man, “weird.”

“That’s a tame word for him.”

“Well, you know what I mean.” Sari rolled her eyes and pushed the single braid away from her face as she continued on. “Anyway, he used to be against the Resistance that he now supports. Alice was right; he was a special operations officer. It was like a light switch changed after his oldest son was injured badly in the war, trying to end the Resistance’s regime. No one has seen that son since.”

A bitter taste filled my mouth. I put my head in my hands and leaned against the granite countertops for support. Groaning, I pressed my palms into my eyes until I saw red. “I’ve seen him.”

“Wait, what? You’ve seen the other son? I couldn’t even find his name on any records. How do you know it was him?”

I opened my eyes wearily. This place held so many secrets. I missed the straightforward simplicity of home. “He was burned by radiation. His skin isn’t even really skin anymore. He acted really weird, too.”

“Really weird? Come on, I need more information than that.”

“What is this, twenty questions?” I snapped, but then realized how horrible I sounded. I looked at Sari apologetically. “I’m sorry. Today’s been awful.”

Sari stood and put her hand on my shoulder. “Well, I hate to be the one to give you more bad news, but Riggs has been testing your blood for clues to your ability.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’ve never given Riggs any blood.”

“But you gave Xander two bags full. Xander reports to Riggs, so if Riggs wanted some blood—”

“All he’d have to do is ask for it,” I finished.

Sari pointed a finger at me like a pointed gun and made the shooting noise. “Bingo. And now Alice has the tracker. I’m wondering if he’ll test your blood on her.”

“But how would Riggs know about the blood? I mean, Xander isn’t going to tell Riggs we saved Legs.”

“True,” Sari said with a frown. “Look, I’m the computer nerd. I get the dirt. I never said I knew how to piece it together.”

“Do you want to go see Legs?” I asked abruptly. “I could use a change of scenery. Or even go sneak to see my parents again…” I trailed off, hopeful.

Sari looked toward my bedroom, her expression conflicted. “I think I’ll stay here and look out for Alice.”

“Jaxon’s back there with her.”

Sari’s eyebrows rose. “You hadn’t thought to mention that tidbit before now?”

“It’s not like that.”

She smiled. “No, because that’s what
you
want, right?”

I felt my face go hot. “I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to. The tension between you two is so thick you could smother someone with it.”

“Just come with me, please? And don’t say another word about Jaxon or I’ll have to smother
you
.”

Sari laughed. “You know, you two are the only good thing going on in this place.”

“That doesn’t give me much hope for an upturn in our luck.”

“Any good luck is better than none,” she said with a yawn. “I’m gonna stay. Take Jaxon with you. I don’t want you out in the halls by yourself. All these secrets make me nervous. I feel like there’s way more to this place than I’ve uncovered, and I want to figure out what it is that we’re missing.”

“And how do you plan on doing that? We don’t have any privacy.”

Sari turned and pointed to her bag, hanging by the entry. “You may not have any privacy, but I do. My laptop can circumvent the firewalls and privacy protectors that are in place.”

I shook my head, because Sari never ceased to amaze me, and because the use of banned technology here still baffled me. “You’re handy to have around, you know that?”

She bowed, complete with an over exaggerated flourish of her hand. “At your service, madam. Now go on your date with Jax.”

“This is definitely not a date!”

“Sure, sure, whatever you say, Juliet. Go get him and get out of here.”

I slid my hand under the throw pillow where Jaxon’s journal lay hidden. The soft leather brushed my fingertips, and I shuddered thinking about what was inside. There was nothing comforting about this book. I wondered what the other journals held if this was the first year of Jaxon’s horrific testing.

Sari’s eyes slid to the journal, and her face soured. “Makes you think Jax might not be so awful, doesn’t it?”

I understood what she was talking about. She had a sage-like aura, and when she spoke again, her words struck a chord. “No one is ever too far gone for redemption, if there’s just one person to help them get there.”

“Not even Riggs?”

Sari cocked her head slightly and shrugged. “I’d like to think he’s capable of changing. He altered his course once, why not do it again?”

“Those are some rose colored glasses you have on.”

“Only when I’m particularly nostalgic,” Sari said with a smirk. “You caught me at the end of the day. I’m at my most pensive then.”

There was so much I didn’t know about Sari. When we had time, I would ask her to tell me more, if she was willing to share.

I lifted the journal and displayed it like an excuse. “I should probably go.”

Sari nodded, and we both headed to my bedroom. It was foreign to feel as though I had friends. It was something I could get used to.

The door was slightly ajar when we reached it and while the lights were off, I heard whispers. We both stopped and looked at each other, and Sari nodded as if to confirm that she wanted to eavesdrop. Little sneak. I suppose it was natural, considering her job was to hack into places she shouldn’t be in the first place.

It was hard to miss the reassuring cadence of Jaxon’s words. “It’ll be okay, I promise,” he whispered gently. “It only hurts the first few times. Then your body gets used to it.”

“But what if I don’t want to get used to it?”

“Hopefully you won’t have to. I’m figuring out a way to escape.”

There was a shuffle and a rustle of covers. I glanced at Sari, who put a finger to her lips. She wasn’t finished listening. I felt a little guilty for doing this, but I’d never seen this side of Jaxon. I didn’t want him to go back to his usual snide earlier than he needed to.

Alice’s voice regained my attention. “Where would we go, Jax?”

So she’d started calling him Jax. For some reason, it felt like I needed to refrain from calling him that. If I called him Jax, he would win. That’s what he wanted; for me to acknowledge him as familiar. I smiled at the thought of my mini resistance against him.

“Anywhere but here,” he said fiercely. “We’ll find a dome that’s safe, change our names and blend in. But until we leave, you need to make me a promise.”

Alice was nearly breathless. “What’s that?”

“That you’ll fight. Not against what’s happening to you, I don’t mean that, but that you’ll fight to stay positive in the face of adversity. Anyone can be positive when things are going right, it’s when things are at their lowest that our integrity and determination are tested. I failed that test. Every day I regret how I’ve handled myself in the past. I don’t want you to lose yourself because of the hand you’ve been dealt. This situation isn’t permanent. You’ll make it out to see the other side, and Avery, Sari, and I will be there with you.”

The depth of Jaxon’s words surprised me. It was becoming obvious that the arrogance he usually displayed was a ruse.

Sari gave me a look that seemed to say
I told you so.
I pushed her shoulder teasingly with two fingers and she held in a laugh.

“You like her, don’t you?” Alice said out of the blue.

Jaxon coughed nervously. “What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

“Avery?”

Alice huffed the way she always did when she got annoyed at me for playing dumb. She had no patience for people avoiding her questions, and her desire for good gossip was insatiable. “No, I mean your shadow. Of course I mean Avery.”

I leaned in closer to the sliver of the open door so I wouldn’t miss anything. I was suddenly a lot more interested in eavesdropping.

Sari looked at me and grinned, her voice barely audible. “Oh no, you need to learn the answer to that question on your own.”

“Don’t you dare, Sari. I want to hear his answer!”

There was no stopping her. She pushed past me, opened the door and strode in like she owned the place. I tried to grab her ankles but she dodged, leaving me grasping air and nearly falling on my face. “Alice, how are you feeling?” she said.

In the uneven light that poured from the hallway, Jaxon looked flushed. His eyes met mine, but only for a moment. Had Alice’s question embarrassed him? I internally cursed Sari for breaking their conversation off.

Jaxon crawled to the foot of the bed. When he stood, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and focused on Alice. She smiled weakly and rested her head against the wooden headboard. Along the top were beautiful filigree ivy designs that spread over the corners and halfway down the sides.

Alice reached up and traced one of the vines with a finger. “I’m okay, I guess.”

Her eyes bore into Jaxon’s, and I had to fight back a laugh. I knew that look; it was the same one I’d received time and time again when Alice missed out on a juicy bit of information by a hair. Jaxon was in trouble; Alice wouldn’t let this rest until she had her answer, come hell or high water. She pulled her focus from Jaxon and looked at Sari. “My chest hurts, but Jax said that would pass.”

“Good,” Sari said encouragingly as she sat down beside Alice. “Jax knows what he’s talking about. He won’t lead you wrong.”

As Sari and Alice began to talk, Jaxon sidled over to me and nudged my shoulder with his. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah. I told Xander I’d stop by and check on Legs.”

Jaxon nodded thoughtfully and then smiled. “Fair enough. Afterward you’re mine. Deal?”

“You make it sound so sinister.”

He swept his arm around the lower half of his face to obscure his nose and mouth, then leaned in close to me. “Maybe because it is,” he said in a sinister voice. “You forget that I’m quite unrefined.”

“Really? I wouldn’t think so after seeing you be so kind to Alice.”

“I have my moments,” Jaxon said casually, “then I return to my natural state of sarcasm. The world is full of too-nice people. I’m here to keep the balance.”

“Always thinking of others.”

He gave me one of the biggest smiles I’d ever seen. It took my breath away. “In a completely self-serving way, yes.”

He extended his elbow to me in an open invitation. I accepted it, and called over to Sari one last time. “You going to be okay here?”

Sari smiled. “Of course. Go save the world, or whatever it is you two are planning to do.”