Stealing Ryder (7 page)

“Did you ever think I wasn’t ready to run a
ten- million dollar law firm? Y’all ever think I just wanted to do what I was doin’.”

“Son, we wanted the best for you
; it’s what every parent wants.”

My fists were balled
up tight, and I swear I was going to go fuckin’ crazy, sittin’ on this couch a minute longer; so I got up, and went to leave.

I had to get outta here. I wanted to kill this son of a bitch who had the balls to call himself
my father. He was nothing but a sperm donor for me. And that pathetic excuse for a mother was just someone who formulated a plan to get a vulnerable girl pregnant, just so that I could possibly give them a future, and have a loveless marriage like they had. I swear to God, they were out of their minds.

All the while, I couldn’t stop thinking about Harper, who was sitting back in San Diego having to deal with her nightmares and terrors
by herself if she was having them. Here I was, thinking this was the worst of my issues, but I was never physically hurt by these people, so it should hurt less.

The neglect I got from my parents, the constant ignorance they had for me when I was growing up
, hurt me. I would never actually admit it to a crowd of people, but why couldn’t I have real parents who cared about their own son’s life. No, Harper and I were so much more alike than I cared to acknowledge. We were two broken people walking on this earth, who just so happened to find each other. I needed her here with me now. At this point, I could care less about the wedding. I needed Harper. I needed to show here I could be the man my Pops wasn’t to my Mom. I wanted to be the man and father I never had.

Just
being the way she is changed my life. She could walk in with her tiny ass shorts on, and a plain t-shirt, and I could be instantly turned on. She could simply speak, and I was mesmerized. I needed her in my life. She was the crutch I used to survive. The only piece of happiness in this whole fucked up world we lived in.

‘
Til this day, I could not imagine what she had to go through with…him. I refused to utter his name without spitting it out in disgust, a useless waste of space.  Who would ever lay their hands on a woman, especially Harper? I couldn’t fathom that the piece of shit still breathes.

I w
ould never understand the abuse she had to go through on a daily basis when she was with him, but the neglect I felt from my parents was despicable. I held them on the same level I held Tye, and the things he did to Harper. My parents outright ignored me for my entire life growing up, and even since I’ve been grown.

Still
, as I was heading out, I heard Kylee shout my name, and I turned around to her standing over my parents. She was big into southern tradition, so I hadn’t actually ever seen her stand up to my parents. I was surprised she said anything in the conversation at all. She was normally the one who sat behind and just took it. I’m being an ass, but it’s true. She did what she was told, and had a kid when she knew neither one of us was ready. She did it and moved to San Diego when I told her that’s where I was headin’. She married me just ‘cause that’s what sshe was ‘supposed to do’, so I was taken aback when she even remotely spoke up.

“Stay
, Ryder. I have something to say.” She looked over at my parents as I stood by the doorframe, afraid to move any closer than I was.

“Listen
, Mr. and Mrs. Kent; I really do respect y’all, as you have known my family for years; but what both of you did was messed up. You took two vulnerable kids looking to find themselves in this world and shoved them together. Mrs. Kent, you and my mom told me it was safer if I wasn’t on birth control, and that it was a good idea to try to conceive with Ryder because he would be able to support me. That ultimately only caused both of us deeper amounts of pain, and we were too young to deal with it all. I love Evelyn, and wouldn’t trade her for anything; but we weren’t meant to be together, and we definitely weren’t meant to have a child together.”

She was now looking at me with something in her eyes I haven’t seen in years: remorse. I heard my dad cough
, and she quickly turned back to them and continued, before he could get a word in edgewise.

“You never treated your son like he was worth anything,
and neither did I. We all thought football was going to be just this big hobby of his, but he wanted to make a career out of it; now he loves surfing, from what Evie tells me. You both either need to support him, or just leave him alone and let him live his life.”

“He is with this woman who loves him for who he is. No offense
, Mrs. Kent, but she loves him more than you have ever even liked him. She is better for him than any of us in this room, and we have to all let him go to just move on. I don’t propose some sort of magical resolve of this issue, but I think we all should give him the permission to move on with his life.”

I looked at her and almost felt like breaking down. As a man, I woul
d never admit to crying, but what Kylee said was true. I didn’t need their permission to fix the problems, because I tried for twenty-eight years to fix ’em with nothin’ from them. I needed to move on from ‘em and the pain they cause me every fuckin’ day. I needed to get on so I could show Harper what healing looked like, what being a man and a boyfriend looked like, because that’s all I have ever wanted: to be in love with someone who loved me back.

I fucked all those women in college
, and even Kylee, just to know what was like to feel love, even if it was just the physical kind. It’s why Harper did what she did, sleepin’ around and shit. I understood her more by trying to get through to my parents. I understood how she struggled everyday trying to fix a problem that wasn’t fixable. I was sitting here trying to mend a fence that wasn’t broken. It just wouldn’t work…period.

“Kylee is right. There is nothing to fix here.” I started to walk towards the front door and heard my father come behind me.

“Ryder Andrew, listen to me. I just want what is best for you.”

“I
hear you keep saying that, but I don’t see your actions proving it. In fact, all you’re doing is sittin’ here lecturin’ me, but I don’t see anything comin’ out of this.”

“We aren’t bad parents
, Ryder; it hurts your mother when you say we were terrible to you. We never laid a hand on you, gave you everything you needed and could possibly think of. All we asked for in return was for you to better yourself by working with my company.”

“Why are you so hell-bent on me workin
’ as a lawyer, Dad? I don’t want to! Get that through your thick skull. That is not somethin’ I will ever do,” I bellowed at him.

“And to top it all off, while you might not have physically slapped me across the face, your absolute ignorance to what I want to do with my life
, or the fact you give zero shits about your granddaughter, is enough for me not to care.”

“Of course we care about Evelyn
, Ryder. Why aren’t you listening to me? You never listen; you always think you are right son. I don’t know where you got that trait from, but certainly not from either your mother or myself.”

“Because I didn’t have a fucking dad growing up
, Pops! I didn’t get the chance to throw the baseball in the yard after school because no one was here to help me catch it. I had a machine that would, sure, but I wanted that good ole’ encouragement from you, my father. You were the man I was supposed to model, but I wanted to do everything opposite from you. I want to do everything you didn’t do.”

“I am in love
, Pops, and I want to move on from all of this so I can show her that I am capable of being the man you aren’t.”

“Ryder, you will never be a man. You are wasting your life away doing nothing but working at a stupid…coffee place. It’s pathetic how you have succumb
ed to working for people who are much lower than your class. You are useless to us.”

“Go to fuckin
’ hell,” I breathed, staring him straight in the eyes. I hated lookin’ like this man. I was a carbon copy of him in terms of looks, but he was not even half the man I was.

“We thought you would finally get your act together when Kylee got pregnant. We knew that you two couldn’t avoid each other
, and it was easy to get Kylee off her birth control, so we figured we’d push her to do it. It would give Kylee a direction in life, and some stability, and you would have a purpose and work for the firm.”

“Do you know how disgusting that sounds?” I wanted desperately to walk out the door and never look back, but I wanted to hear what he had to say. I needed to hear it.

“No, it’s because I was looking out for you, Ryder. I do not feel that was disgusting at all. I was there for you with what you needed in life, and was trying to look out for you. You had other plans.”

“You pushed a vulnerable girl into having sex with me unprotected
, knowing very well y’all wanted her to get pregnant. Then you left me high-and-dry with no emotional support when I had the child, simply because I wasn’t good enough for you. That, Father, is fucked…up.”

“Please do not use that vile language around me or your mother. It will not be tolerated in this house
,” he screamed, looking at me with no emotional response in him.

“Listen
, Pops; I have nothing more to say to you. I was hoping we could come to some resolution from all of this, but it looks like nothing will occur. We are two stubborn people, but I needed to tell you and Mom that you both messed up, and how that affected me. I can’t do this anymore with y’all, so I have to let go, move on, and live my life.”

“So, why are you here
, son? Why come back if we were such terrible people?” I could feel my mother and Kylee walking in from behind us, but I had to get out what I wanted to say before leaving.

“Because I needed to tell
you, all of you,” I said, pointing at Kylee and Mom behind me, “that I am done with this family. I am over it and movin’ on. I will forgive, but never forget the neglect I went through as a kid. I am sorry I was born into this life, but I can’t deal with it anymore. I am done. Done, with all of you. I will never set foot in this house again, and I hope y’all are happy with your decisions to leave your son with no emotional support whatsoever.”

I continued, “I will never bring Evelyn by and you will never see her again with me
; but if you so choose to see her, and Kylee allows it, then fine. I want to move on so I can give the life I never had to a woman who loves me, so that I can be the man you never will be. Goodbye, Mom and Pop. Hope you someday realize the mistakes of your past, but I sure as hell won’t be around to remind ya’.”

I pushed the door of the house open and saw Rosetta standing
on the porch with tears in her eyes. She must’ve heard what I said, so I walked over to her, and wrapped her in a hug before leaving. Without a wave or a second to let them respond, I left my incubators behind. They were never supportive of me, nor would they even be considered parents. They gave me financial support, but neglected to love or care for me unconditionally, which is what parents are put here to do.

You can’t fix what
’s not meant to work, and it’s not worth my time or patience to care about somethin’ they see as fine. I had the closure I needed, so it’s time to hightail outta here, and get back to Harper and little Evelyn.

Alright
. I’ll be the bigger man and admit it. I was pissed as hell they weren’t going to be parents and we couldn’t end things with lollipops and roses, but I got what I had to say out, and that’s all I could do; nothing more could be done.

Although
, when I left the house as pissed off as I was that I couldn’t change their hardened ways, I felt relieved I didn’t have to be the one to deal with them again. I was glad I got what I had to say out, and hear what I heard. I knew from Kylee what my parents had done, but I’d needed to hear
from them
that they orchestrated the whole pregnancy thing, pressuring Kylee to have sex with me without protection. I needed to hear it from them that they essentially ruined what I had and in turn, my football career, because they wanted me to become “grounded” or some bullshit like that. It sucked, but it just is what it is. I couldn’t change what happened.

Whatever
. I was just pissed off more than I would have wanted to be. I heard the crunch of the gravel from behind me and heard someone bellow my name.

“Ryder! Wait up, please
,” Kylee shouted.

“What
do you want?” I asked her. While I was glad she finally spoke her mind, we still hadn’t talked about her movin’ out here, or anything of that sort.

“Would you want to meet me at Sue’s Diner? I wanna grab
some brisket and talk about things. Please?” She begged.

“I ain’t tryin’ to get
back with you, Kylee, but we do need to talk about you fixin’ to move out here, so I’ll meet you there. You understand, though, very clearly, I will walk out if you start discussin’ getting back together.”

“I know, I know. I swear to you
, I just wanna talk about Harper, and moving and stuff too.” She looked at me with truth in her eyes, so I got in the car, and headed down the driveway. I sped off to meet her at Sue’s.