Staying True - A Contemporary Romance Novel (11 page)

“Blend to mend,” I said.

“Blend to mend,” Nadia murmured,
staring at my lips and scrolling up to meet my eyes. “I like when she’s happy.
She’s a better person that way. If I’m not a threat to her, we get along
better. However, the minute something good happens, she turns right back into
that little ball of jealousy. It drives me crazy.”

My fingers continued to get lost in
her hair. “You want her to like you, and you’re willing to sidestep your glory
to make that happen?”

She clicked her tongue. “She needs
the glory more than I do.”

“It must really eat her alive that
you have this cushy job with her husband at the helm, no?”

“Quite the opposite. If I worked for
someone else and shined, she wouldn’t know what to do with that. At least with
me here, she retains a certain level of control. We discuss a lot. I bring her
in on decisions. She’s a stay-at-home mom with the fringe benefits of power and
creativity.”

“Do you let her take credit for your
ideas?”

Nadia shifted and clenched her jaw.
“Ninety-nine percent of the time, yes.”

“And the other one percent?”

“That’s why we had a fight that
night. I hired a different caterer for a big event, and instead of going off on
me, which would be much healthier, she turned all inward and sad. I hate it
when she does that because she makes me feel guilty for—”

“—for being a success?” I massaged
her scalp deeper.

She cupped her hand over mine. “Why
am I telling you all of this?”

“Because you need to.”

“I didn’t realize what a mess I
created until now, you know? I just wanted to build a better relationship.”

“You like to know you’re needed.”

She exhaled.

I propped up on my knees. “Turn
around, darling. Let me work out this stress.” I guided her around and swaddled
her in deep massage. “You are so kinked up back here.”

Nadia bowed her head and groaned.

“So she married this wealthy guy?”

“Yeah. We met him at a friend’s
wedding.”

“We?”

“He came up to us and he asked me to
dance, and when I saw my sister’s face drop, I bowed out, feigning a headache.
So he asked her to dance, and they hit it off. He’s creepy to me.”

I softened my touch, leaned in close.
“How so?” I whispered.

Her breaths quickened. “He’s a
player. He’s come on to me right in their house with my sister in the next
room. I’ve seen him here taking ladies out. He’s wealthy and owns the whole
chain of Gateway Suites on the East Coast.”

“Does she know?”

“It’s hard to miss.”

“I’m surprised she wants you working
with him.”

“I’m gay.”

“Well,” I said, turning her back
around to face me, bubbling with adrenaline. “That makes two of us.” I played
with a strand of her hair again. She leaned into my touch. So, I twirled the
piece around my finger, holding a piece of her captive. Her chest rose and fell
in stronger waves, her nipples toying with my eager eyes.

“You’re beautiful. Do you know that?”
she asked.

My skin tingled. My face flushed. I
could easily lean in and kiss her, and I doubted she’d fight me on it. “You’re
my boss now. And I really like my new job.”

Nadia traced her finger against the
blue suede of the couch, trailing the curve of my leg. Slowly, seductively, she
teased with the suede. “You’re right. This is so unprofessional of me to be
flirting with you like this.”

I expanded my twirl zone so much so
that my finger flirted with her cheek. “I am so attracted to you.”

“I should look away from you right
now.” Her seductive clutch tightened. “I’m finding it so hard. Nothing else in
this room is as interesting.”

I released her soft hair and sat back
against the arm of the couch now, crossing my leg over my knee. “I should go,
huh?”

“Please don’t.” She crossed her leg
over her knee just like me. Only her foot fidgeted whereas mine lounged midair,
relaxed. “You still owe me a massage.”

“I do.” How I’d get through it, God
only knew. I was a horny mess. I needed to refocus. “I need to use your
bathroom first.”

Nadia blinked then laughed. “Right
down the hall on the right.”

I rushed towards it. Once inside, I
stood staring at myself. I didn’t even have to pee.

I scanned her sink which was
cluttered with Crest toothpaste, dental floss, Shaper Plus hairspray, Paul
Mitchell Sculpting Foam, and a variety of lotions and facial creams. She
probably stood at the sink naked, her skin dripping in moisture from a fresh
shower, applying her facial cream to her soft skin. This just turned me on more.
I can do this. I’ve massaged plenty of beautiful women. Just do your job and
walk away.

I walked out of the bathroom. Nadia
stood baring the backside of her voluptuous body. She dropped one cloth after
the other, and I just stood there watching it all unfold. Slowly,
provocatively, she undressed her upper half, and then sank into my chair. I
stood in the hallway, drooling, staring, and craving to run my hands all across
her sweet, buttery skin.

There Nadia sat, uncovered and
unexplored on my chair, the chair I’d carried under my arm. Never did I see
this coming, a beautiful half-naked lady waiting on it in her hotel room for
me. I stood, ambivalent. I wanted to run to her and take her in my arms. Yet
the other side of me argued that I should just stay put right there in front of
the bathroom door and avoid the eventual disaster of charging into this
innocent massage moment as a hormone-induced junkie wanting to get high.

Her chest pressed against the chair.
She relaxed wearing just her silk bottoms. Her golden spine, straight and
perfect, waited to be healed. I’d never massaged a half-naked client without a
protective blanket before.

I steadied myself and walked in like
a professional masseuse should.

“Let me get a blanket for you.”

“Don’t bother,” she said, squirming
against the plastic seat. “I figured it would just get in the way, right?”

I lost my breath. “Yes, ma’am.”

She snapped up, her breasts danced
forward along with her flowing hair. “Ma’am? Really?”

I clicked my tongue. “No?”

“No.” She wrapped her hair around her
neck and rested back down against the head stirrup.

“Deal.” I went into this massage like
I did any other. I cradled my hands around her shoulders and worked my touch
into her tired, knotted muscles. “You really need this.”

Nadia moaned.

My tummy rolled.

I closed my eyes and pretended I was
massaging a three-hundred pound bald man. I ripped into her muscles, angling my
palms deep into her tissue.

She moaned again.

I opened my eyes and took in the full
beauty of her spine, so perfectly arched in all the right places. I breathed in
deeply, imagining my lips on her skin, blanketing her in soft kisses along her
shoulder blades and down her lovely spine.

I eased Nadia’s tension for ten short
minutes before surrendering my access to her beautiful skin.

I leaned in and whispered, “How was
that?”

“Heavenly.”

I slipped my hands off of her. “Be
careful in rising. Sometimes people feel dizzy.”

I guided her as she rose. She turned
to me all sleepy eyed. “Thank you.” She reached for her pink t-shirt and pulled
it back over her head. “I needed that.”

We sat on the couch again, folding in
on ourselves.

“What other stories do you have
bottled up in that pretty little head of yours?”

She eyed me with great care. “I’ve
told you too much.”

“Oh come on, darling. Don’t raise
your guard now.”

She leaned in, so close I could smell
the sweet mint on her breath. “Sometimes words get in the way.”

Nadia’s lips called out to me. On
reflex, I placed my finger on them and circled. If I kissed her, I wouldn’t be
able to stop there. This pulse radiated between us. I needed this job. She just
trusted me with all of this personal stuff. If I kissed her it would ruin
everything we just shared. I couldn’t pull away from her lips, though. They
called out to me like a magnetic force, luring me to them. “I should go.”

She feathered my lips with her finger
now, releasing puffs of sweet air into my zone. “Yeah, it would be a good
idea.”

I rose, which caused me to move in
even closer. “It’s the Sangria.”

Before I knew it, my lips were on
hers. My hands cupped her face, and her hands traveled to my shoulders, pulling
me towards her. We breathed as one, her lips brushing against mine in small
seductive sweeps, her tongue teasing mine in a dance that twirled me, sent me
reeling, soaring, flying high. “I shouldn’t be doing this,” she whispered.

“Me either,” I said, drunk on her.

“There’s too much you don’t know.”
She pulled away and jumped up. She raked her hand through her hair. “I’m sorry,
I can’t.”

I caught my breath, steadied my heart
with a hand to my chest. “I understand.” I stood and smoothed my hair. “We’ll
just blame it on the wine.”

“Yeah.” She looked confused.

“Oh, come here.” I opened up my arms
to her. “We just shared a moment. It’s perfectly fine. I get it. It’s a line we
shouldn’t have crossed.” I laughed. “It’s my first week, and I’m already trying
to get into your pants.”

Nadia laughed too.

We clung against each other sharing a
good laugh. “So, I’m not fired or anything, right?”

She pulled away and held me at arm’s
length. “We’re good.” She blinked heavily and nodded. “Tomorrow, when we see
each other, we’ll share another good laugh and pretend it never happened.”

“Well, all right then.” I grabbed my
pocketbook and chair.

“Okay,” she said all professional,
escorting me to the door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said.

“Until tomorrow.” She smiled and
closed the door.

I wobbled all the way to the
elevator, drunk on a lot more than just Sangria.

* *

I bumped into Shawna on my way out of
the lobby area. She looked tired. She limped up to me, dragging her feet.

“You need a massage,” I said.

“I’m too tired. I just want to go
home and relax in a tub, listen to some jazz, maybe sip some wine and call it a
night.”

I held the door open for her. “Long
day for you?”

“The breakfast girl called out, and
so when Nadia called me in a panic, I filled in.”

I scanned her heels. “I don’t know
how you do it.”

“I do it because I love this job.”

We walked past the valet parkers and
out to the far end of the parking lot. “Two shifts, though?”

“You’re so naive.” She scrambled
through her pocketbook for her keys. “That’s why I like you so much.”

I blocked her with my portable chair.
“Naïve?”

“It’s not a criticism. Your innocence
is a gift.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Everyone is not
out to get you.”

She rolled her eyes. “You haven’t
lived my life. So you can’t toss out bold statements like that.” She patted my
arm. “Have a good night.”

She walked towards her car, limping,
as if carrying a lifetime of trouble on her shoulders.

Chapter Nine

Nadia

I adored Ruby. When she left my hotel
room, I lounged on my bed and attempted to concentrate on an episode of
King
of Queens
where Carrie’s father and Doug become best friends. Lost on the
show’s humor for the first time ever, my mind drifted.

I closed my eyes and imagined her
hands on my shoulders again, then her soft lips on mine. My body seared.

I shook my head and sat up. I could
not fantasize about her.

I walked over to the window and
opened the curtain. The city of Providence lit up below me. People walked on
the sidewalks some in pairs, some in groups, their laughter echoing off of the
brick buildings. Ruby had long disappeared. Did she go home to a wife? A
girlfriend? An empty apartment? Did she have a cat or perhaps an adorable dog
that we might one day walk together?

I spun away from the window.

I would not obsess over her. Ruby was
simply a fun girl with a killer smile and a knack for buckling me at the knees.
God she was something else.

I went back to my bed, slid under the
covers and caved into thoughts of her long blonde hair tickling my skin as she
leaned over me, seducing me with her charm in a passionate moment that could
only be described with words like thrilling, intoxicating, and inescapable.

* *

Jessica called me the next morning.
“I’ve got some good news.”

I braced for it. “Tell me.”

“The lawyer thinks I’ll be released
early.”

My heart sank. I wasn’t ready for her
to come home just yet. “How early?”

“Four months.”

I sat on the edge of my bed. “Wow.”

“Yeah. Wow. Crazy, huh? I’ve been a
good girl, I guess.”

The tension shot right back between
my shoulder blades. I envisioned our new life, sitting across from one another
having nothing in common but our history, pretending to be interested in how we
spent our days, wishing in silence for our old times. “That’s fantastic.”

“We’ll get a fresh new start.
Finally.”

We needed a fresh start. “Yeah,
finally.”

“You know what the first thing is
that I want to do when I get out?”

I clamped onto the hope. “Tell me.”

“I want to eat lobster at that
restaurant in Mystic where we had our first date.”

We had gotten silly drunk on cheap
beer that night and ended up pulling off to the side of the road to make out
for hours. “Sounds lovely.”

“It’s almost over.”

This wasn’t a victory race. “Yeah. Almost
there.”

Silence hung between us. Someone in
the neighboring hotel room turned on the television. I could hear Matt Lauer
from the
Today Show
laughing.

“So, have you talked to your sister
yet about hiring me?”

“Not yet. I will.” They would never
hire a convicted felon. I would never ask them to either.

Long pause.

“Jessica? Are you still there?”

“Why haven’t you asked her yet?”

“Well, we didn’t know how long you’d
be incarcerated,” I said this with scorn, my anger renewed for what she’d done
to us.

“Incarcerated? You make me sound like
a—”

“—just drop it.”

“I wanted you to be happy with this
news. You sound more disappointed than anything.”

Didn’t I have the right? “So much has
changed, you know?”

She exhaled, and her pain curled up
around me, choking me. “Maybe if you came to visit me more often, we could deal
with all these changes better.”

I sat up taller. “We’ve been over
this. My schedule is challenging.”

“You choose Rhode Island over me,”
she said. “I’m not blaming you. I’m just stating the fact. You didn’t have to
switch locations. Keith would’ve kept you on in Connecticut, and we both know
it.”

“You’re antagonizing me.” She never
argued with me before jail.

“I’m just stating the facts. You have
distanced yourself on purpose. Admit it.”

I would not admit that, even though
it was true. “Where is this blame coming from suddenly?”

“You’ve changed so much. I don’t know
how to speak with this new version of you.”

I liked this new me. I no longer
catered to her ideals or sacrificed my happiness for hers. “Yes, of course I’ve
changed.” My temples flared. How dare she turn me into the guilty one? “You
want to hear exactly how? Do you?”

“Yes. Tell me.” Her voice steamed out
all smooth and collected.

“I’ll tell you how.” Fuck her and her
new virtuous attitude. “For starters, I fixed the lawnmower last week. Yup, I
had to take it apart and put it back together again. I did it by watching a
YouTube video. I fixed it all by myself because my wife decided to get drunk
and kill someone.”

She gasped.

I carried right on with my argument.
“So what fucking choice do I have but to change?”

“You’re being unreasonable,” she
whispered like everyone in the state prison could hear us.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I flew up from the
bed and paced the room. “Am I embarrassing you?” I had never yelled at her
before. Never. This rage needed releasing.

“What do you want me to do?”

I barged right over her question.
“You know another unpleasant task I had to do a month ago? I had to get the
ladder off the hangers under the deck, place it up against our home, and climb
up the steps all the way to the roof holding a hammer and five roof shingles
because our home is falling apart, and because I’m the only one here to fix
it.”

She exhaled. “Why didn’t you call
Keith?”

“Go crying to him so he and my sister
can gloat about how fucked up our lives are?”

“Huh. Nice. Feel better slamming me
when I’m already down and out?”

“You put yourself there. Not me.”

“Well, go on then. You’re on a
fucking roll.”

“You’re a felon Jessica.” My chest
beat wildly. “A fucking felon.”

I flung my phone across the bed and
rose, pacing my hotel floor like a tiger pissed to be locked up in this cage.

Slamming her? Huh. Maybe she needed a
good slamming. My tongue turned numb. My skin burned. My blood pressure spiked
by the second. Tears stung my eyes. The end of what we used to have arrived. It
stung, blasting sand and grit in my face and blinding me.

I walked back over to my bed and
plucked up the phone. “I’m not going to sugar coat things for you anymore.”

She was sniffling.

“Stop crying,” I said.

She sniffled some more.

My heart slowed. My breaths rolled
out smoother. My mind cleared. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea for me to
beg Sasha and Keith to give you a job. We can find you work someplace else,” I
said softly.

“You’re afraid.”

“I’m not afraid.”

“You are though. You’re worried about
what everyone’s going to say behind our backs.”

“Well of course.”

“Why do you care?” she asked.

“Because it matters.” I saw a future
with her laboring for eight dollars an hour, or resorting to drug sales, or
pimping herself out.

She cleared her throat. Sniffed.
Clicked her tongue. “There’s this long line of women staring at me right now.
I’m hogging the phone. Can you just come for a visit soon so we can talk this
out face-to-face?”

“Of course,” I whispered.

“Until then, Butterfly.” Her voice
cracked.

Butterfly.

That word transported me back to my
old wife, to our happy days, our free days. Peace and familiarity landed softly
on the wings of that word.

“Hey,” I said. “I love you.
I hope you know that.”

She breathed out. “I love you too.”

* *

Unsatisfied people took risks. Some
jumped from airplanes, some dove hundreds of feet underwater, some trekked up
dangerous mountain sides in search of justice, youth, and thrill, anything to
purge the unsettling rustle of fear and angst and apathy from their systems.

I chose to make a phone call.

When Ruby answered, I said in as
sweet a tone as possible, “It’s me. Nadia.”

“Hello, Nadia.” Her voice was quiet
and soft.

“I could already use another
massage.”

“Then, I’m your girl.”

“I won’t argue with that.” The flirt
tumbled out before I could stop it. “I come to you a humbled girl in need of
help.”

She rolled out a sigh that sent my
heart into flight. “I hope you do.”

“Shall I come down this afternoon?”

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t,”
she whispered and faded out like a song I didn’t want to end.

I cradled the phone to my ear for
several long seconds after she hung up, savoring the residual softness of her
voice still dancing on my heart, light and airy, a pleasant escape from my
reality.

An hour later, I was eating breakfast
in the garden patio restaurant when Ruby strolled by wearing a flowing shirt
that mirrored her willowy personality. Her blonde waves bounced along her
shoulders, and when she spotted me, her cheeks flushed. I waved her over.

“Have you eaten breakfast?” I asked.

“Are you inviting me?”

“Please sit. Have a cup of coffee
with me.”

She slid into the chair across from
me. “So,” she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

“So.”

“About last night, I’m really sorry
if I got too personal with the questions.”

I cupped my hand over hers. “It’s
okay. I needed to talk. You’re a good listener. I trust you’ll keep it between
us?”

“It’s safe with me.”

I drew back my hand. “I felt bad
later because I painted an unflattering picture of my sister. She’s not that
much of a devil.”

“I get it.” Ruby waved over the
waitress. “She’s just insecure, and you’re just sweet enough to see that.”

The waitress arrived. “Coffee for
you, too?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Ruby watched her walk away. Peace
spread around her, like nothing in the world could penetrate and destroy her
positive vibe.

“So, about last night,” she said.
“I’m sorry if I acted unprofessionally.”

I stopped her. “We had a beautiful
conversation. You massaged me, and we said goodnight. Nothing unprofessional
about that.”

She chuckled. “Right.”

The waitress returned with a fresh
coffee. “Here you go.”

Ruby and the waitress chitchatted
about the weather, and I sat like a dork admiring her beauty. Her smile
mesmerized me with its peace and simplicity. Calmness and serenity haloed her.

In that hotel room I changed into a
lotus flower, opening up to her sunshine one petal at a time, blooming to life
and feeling desirable, beautiful, and sexy. I would love to cuddle under my
blankets with her, sweep her up into my arms, and hold her tight. I could see
myself sleeping, not afraid of gentle snoring, wrapping my legs around hers,
fondling each other’s fingers and kissing them until the night shadows turned
bright with sunlight. We’d wake and stretch, blanket each other in soft kisses
before we climbed out of bed hand-in-hand, and strolled to the kitchen for
coffee and overfilled bowls of Honey Nut Cheerios. I could see myself
spoon-feeding her, wiping dribbles of milk from her chin and kissing the tip of
her nose.

I could so easily fall for someone
like her. Someone fun, sweet, different. Someone not in jail, not an
embarrassment, not a person I’d have to defend for the rest of eternity.

When the waitress walked away, she
turned to me and raised up her coffee mug. “To our new friendship.”

I clinked my mug against hers.
“Cheers to that.”

We drank our coffee and chatted on
about the hotel, and then about local sights in Rhode Island, laughing and
bantering until we emptied our mugs.

“I should go,” she said, lingering
her hand over her pocketbook strap, not committing to plucking it up. “I’m late
in opening my massage chair.”

“Yeah, I should get to the front desk
and see about this convention going on today and tomorrow.”

Ruby slid off of the chair. “Don’t
forget about that massage.”

“I’m already thinking about it.”

She strutted away, swinging her
pocketbook over her shoulder and flinging me one last wave.

I winked.

Ruby blew me a kiss.

What the fuck was I doing?

* *

“I’m an idiot.” I handed Shawna the
new menu proof from the printer.