Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year (9 page)

My mom has taught me how to act with integrity, loyalty, strength, and love. I realize that I’m extremely fortunate and blessed to have such an amazing mom.

Goal:
Tell someone in your life you’re thankful for all the love they’ve provided.

May 12

When we are consumed by what other people think of us, we allow them to dictate how we live our lives, and then without realizing it, we lose touch with who we are.

We all want to be liked and loved, but when we focus on this instead of making sure we love ourselves first, we get lost in other people’s opinions and we stop living honestly. If someone calls you a name, don’t let it bother you—don’t react. Feeding into their drama will only negatively affect your character.

Goal:
What makes you special and unique? Think about one of your eccentricities and embrace it every day.

May 13

Don’t torment yourself with jealousy. It’s a silly illusion that someone’s life is better than yours when the truth is that each one of us is on a different path.

There are times in life when I let myself get completely consumed with jealousy for someone else’s life, their body, their wardrobe, their talent. It’s a common emotion to experience. They call it the green-eyed monster for a reason. It’s self-destructive and when it’s in the room, it consumes you. Be strong and don’t focus on what other people have.

Goal:
Release any jealousy you have for someone else’s life and allow yourself to feel deep gratitude that you are living your own life.

May 14

Change is never painful, only the resistance to change is painful.

—BUDDHA

Change is a part of life and there’s no way of getting around it. So accept that your life will be filled with all kinds of change, and even though it can sometimes feel uncomfortable, it’s what builds our character and keeps us moving forward.

Goal:
Embrace the changes going on in your life whether they’re positive or negative. They’re all moving you forward and starting a new chapter in your life comes with change. It’s okay to be thankful for blessings.

May 15

You have the capability to change your life all with a simple shift in perspective.

Sometimes my day may start badly and I start to get down or frustrated. I even think, forget it—the day is ruined. It feels terrible and can cause me to be cranky and lash out, which affects others. I have learned that I can restart my day at any point. I simply sit quietly and reboot. I choose to shift my perspective and tell myself that the day that lies ahead of me is full of wonderful blessings and opportunities. I list ten or more things I appreciate in my life and that usually shifts my mood. Once my mood shifts, my entire day shifts like a chain reaction.

Goal:
Start a daily gratitude notebook. List ten things you are most grateful for on a daily basis.

May 16

Don’t forget to breathe.

It’s an instinct we’re born knowing, and yet for some reason it’s the thing we forget the fastest, especially when we are stressed out and overwhelmed.

Goal:
Focus on breathing in a peaceful place. It can really make a huge difference in brightening your day and your mood.

May 17

When someone whom I have helped, Or in whom I have placed great hopes, Mistreats me in extremely hurtful ways, May I regard him still as my precious teacher.

—DALAI LAMA

Having compassion for others is so vital to our own happiness. We can always learn from people who have hurt us. It’s not possible to go through life without getting hurt. Even our best friends who love us will make us feel angry from time to time. Your best friend is not a perfect friend, which is important to remember. People around you are human too. They make mistakes and that’s important to remember.

Goal:
Learn from everyone, even the people who hurt and disappoint you.

May 18

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.

—UNKNOWN

If anyone tells you that you can’t live the life you imagined, you don’t have to prove them wrong—just keep on working your hardest and know in your heart that you can achieve it. Use their doubtful attitude as motivation.

Goal:
You deserve all the happiness in the world, so pursue it with all the madness and passion in your soul.

May 19

We can’t always rely on others to make us feel happy. We must first find it in ourselves.

I have come to realize that making yourself happy is most important. Never be ashamed of what you feel because we all feel the same emotions at one point or another. Maybe we express them in different ways, but fundamentally it’s the same, which is why we can relate to each other. The main thing to remember is
never
let anyone make you feel bad about how you’re feeling.

Goal:
If you’re having a bad day—don’t count on others to cheer you up. Find happiness within yourself.

May 20

Whenever I climb, I am followed by a dog called ego.

—NIETZSCHE

As we come into our own in life and begin to climb up our personal ladders of success, we must be cautious to leave our egos behind and not allow them to interfere with the integrity and honesty of our work. Your ego will always be close behind, chasing you, nipping at your heels as you move up in this world. So don’t let it get ahead of you.

Goal:
Evaluate where your ego currently stands. Be aware of it and don’t let it overpower you.

May 21

A smile can save a life.

Did you know that there’s scientific evidence that smiling can boost your immune system and help you live a longer and happier life, not to mention that it makes the people around you happier too because smiling is contagious? There was a time I was going through security at an airport and out of nowhere a TSA agent smiled at me, and it changed my entire day. When you make someone else’s day brighter, it makes your day better too.

Goal:
Smile often—you never know whose day you will brighten. You never know the impact one smile will have on someone’s life.

May 22

When you throw dirt, you lose ground.

—TEXAN PROVERB

Life is all about choices. We always have a choice in how we respond to offensive people. The most tempting thing in the world is to respond with the same kind of behavior we are offended by. Ask yourself what it would really achieve.

Goal:
The next time someone insults you, calmly inquire how they would feel if you said the same thing to them.

May 23

True joy comes when you inspire, encourage, and guide someone else on a path that benefits him or her.

—ZIG ZIGLAR

There are a lot of jealous people out there. Sometimes your happy news creates tension in a relationship. Be sure to be supportive and happy with their news and, hopefully, it will be reciprocated.

Goal:
The next time a friend or family member shares good news with you, make sure your joy is sincere.

May 24

Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don’t believe is right.

—JANE GOODALL

There are over 7 billion people in this world, yet each of us has only one brain and one set of values and opinions. No matter how educated, compassionate, kind, open, and willing we are, there are still going to be plenty of times when we are wrong. We can’t get self-righteous about our values and shut out other opinions or belief systems even if we don’t agree with them.

Goal:
Stay open-minded, be comfortable with being wrong. Broaden your horizons with new areas of interest. It’s more beneficial to you to open your mind and consider a different perspective.

May 25

I walk slowly, but I never walk backward.

—ABRAHAM LINCOLN

Recovery is a process—no matter what it is you’re overcoming. No one is better or greater for recovering faster. It’s not a race. You need to go at your own pace, even if that is pace is slow. There will be days when you feel like giving up—don’t. There will be days when you’re at risk of relapsing—don’t. So long as you set your own pace and never go backward in your recovery, you’re making tremendous progress, and that’s all that matters. So be proud of what you’ve accomplished for yourself.

Goal:
Don’t compare your recovery process to others. Remember that each of us heals physically, mentally, and emotionally at the pace that’s right for ourselves. Give yourself the time you need and deserve.

May 26

Time goes by so fast, people go in and out of your life. You must never miss the opportunity to tell these people how much they mean to you.

—UNKNOWN

Loss is a part of life. Over the years I’ve lost several people who are dear to my heart. Nothing can ever bring them back but when I think of them, their values and virtues, I can keep their spirit alive within me and that is a meaningful feeling. The most important thing to remember, however, is to make the most of the precious time we have with the ones we love.

Goal:
Light a candle or say a prayer for someone you love today who is no longer with you.

May 27

At this moment I am exactly where I need to be.

I used to resist everything and I didn’t trust my higher power. With my recovery and my willingness to change, I now see that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. In this present moment is where I find my happiness.

Goal:
Think about where you are in your life today: accomplishments, relationships, career, and be happy for the life you’ve built.

May 28

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.

—ANNE FRANK

So much of my journey thus far has been informed by my parents, their gifts and their flaws. I realized after my recovery that I can learn from my parents, and it’s up to me to make my life what I want it to be.

Goal:
Thank your parents for giving you the gift of life and doing their best.

May 29

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.

—C. S. LEWIS

A lot of people are skeptical about giving a homeless person money. One thing you can do is buy a homeless person a meal or a bottle of water so at least you know they will get something nutritious to eat or drink. I once saw a homeless man and remembered that I had a snack in my purse. I went up to him and said, “I don’t want to offend you, but if you’re hungry, I’d love to give this to you.” He reacted like he had won the lottery. I couldn’t believe how something so simple could make him so happy.

Goal:
Go out of your way to help a homeless person, or someone else in need, today.

May 30

You can’t use up creativity. The more you use the more you have.

—MAYA ANGELOU

I remember after I wrote my first few songs I was worried that more might never come out. I didn’t realize at the time the only way to experience more creativity was to just keep creating.

Goal:
Don’t be cautious with your creativity—let it out. Some of it will be extraordinary and some mediocre. Never stop trying.

May 31

You are destined to be God’s child.

—ANONYMOUS

Each and every one of us is on this earth for a reason. No two people are alike. We are all perfectly made and created to do what we’re meant to do in this world. You are precious, you are unique, and you are special, so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Goal:
Celebrate the ways in which you are special and unique.

June 1

The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.

—COCO CHANEL

Each one of us is born with a unique and remarkable gift that’s not only meant to change our lives but the greater world around us. I know this to be true because I’ve witnessed it throughout my life. Whatever your strengths are, they may be something that someone else wishes they had. So use your gifts wisely and you will be amazed how much you can inspire others.

Goal:
Inspire someone today just by being yourself.

June 2

No one is perfect, but we can all strive to be better people.

Life is a journey and a process that is constantly presenting us with new opportunities to grow and evolve. Every day and every year offers a chance to continue to be stronger, happier, and more compassionate.

Goal:
Set an intention to better yourself and be an inspiration to those around you.

June 3

Forever—is composed of Nows—

—EMILY DICKINSON

Stop searching for the next great thing. You are in it right now. The next moment will come to you when it’s ready as long as you stay present. It’s human nature to constantly be distracted by everything we want in life, where we’re going next, and what we’ve left behind. Focus on where you’re at right now with all you have.