Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year (15 page)

Goal:
If you’re having a bad day, surround yourself with friends who will let their light shine over you.

September 25

What examples are we setting for our younger brothers, sisters, and children? Start changing their future today.

I have a little sister whom I love with all my heart. Regardless of whether or not I was in the spotlight, I would really be thinking about how my own actions might influence my little sister in her life. If I’m doing drugs in front of her, she’s going to think that’s okay. We have to be conscious and mindful of all the things that we do and say knowing that younger generations are looking up to us.

Goal:
Set a good example for the influential people in your life.

September 26

There is always an opportunity to turn a negative situation into a positive one as long as you are open to the possibility.

Every difficult situation I’ve experienced has ultimately changed me for the better. I’ve grown stronger as an artist and a human being and I have been able to advocate for others who are still struggling to be heard. I can’t tell you what a privilege and an honor it is for me to use my own pain to help people find strength and hopefully prevent unneeded suffering for many others. These positive rays of light were only able to come through the darkness because I allowed them to, because I was open to them, and because I didn’t dwell on my past or my pain—I simply honored it.

Goal:
Find something positive about a struggle you’re facing and share it with someone who’s struggling. They’ll know something better is coming to them too.

September 27

We are afraid to care too much for fear that the other person doesn’t care at all.

—ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

Never be afraid to show someone how much you love them. There have been many times in my life when I have wanted to tell someone how much I loved them, but I was afraid I’d seem uncool. When I got over that and realized how grateful they were for my expression of love, they gave it right back to me. It took my openness to help them open up.

Goal:
Be open with someone in your life and encourage them to do the same.

September 28

Be impeccable with your word.

—MIGUEL ANGEL RUIZ

It’s so important to say what you mean in life. Sometimes we are afraid to say something that’ll hurt or disappoint someone. But real pain and disappointment are caused when we say something that we don’t mean or make a promise that we can’t fulfill. Over the years I too have promised things I couldn’t deliver and said things I later regretted. I wanted to believe that I could but deep down I knew it wasn’t realistic for me. Make sure you’re speaking words you can stand by. Even if you feel like you aren’t promising enough, at least you know you’ll have been honest.

Goal:
Stay accountable for your actions. Everything you say today should come from a place of honesty and truth.

September 29

Don’t procrastinate happiness.

There was a time when I was so down and depressed. All I wanted was to feel happiness and I constantly looked for it outside of myself. I heard the expression “Change your thoughts, change your life.” At first I wasn’t sure about it because I blamed external forces and other people for my unhappiness. I decided to try changing my thoughts and I found that I was instantly a happier person. The power of the mind is so incredible; when I started being proactive about leading a happy life it made all the difference.

Goal:
Happiness may come tomorrow, but don’t rely on that. Get on your road to happiness today and now.

September 30

Be bold and mighty; forces will come to your aid.

—GOETHE

When you know what you want in life all that matters is that you go after it with conviction and courage. You don’t have to know every little step in order to achieve your dream.

Goal:
Take a bold step toward the unknown and trust that the ground will appear beneath you when you need it.

October 1

We can’t control all in life . . . but what we can do is look ahead and dictate where we go next.

Life will bring you every kind of emotion and experience you can think of, and plenty that you’d never even imagine. I try to take everything that comes to me with gratitude. Life is about not knowing and making the best of any situation.

Goal:
Think about something wonderful that lies ahead for you.

October 2

Don’t worry, be happy.

—BOBBY MCFERRIN, “DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY”

It’s a pretty simple concept yet it can be so difficult to just stop worrying. Worrying doesn’t do anything but suspend our happiness. It works, so give it a shot and see if your mood improves.

Goal:
Listen to a happy, upbeat song to get you back on track.

October 3

When you hate, the only person that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don’t know it and the rest don’t care.

—MEDGAR EVERS

Whenever I was getting over a breakup I used to spend most of my time filled with anger and hate. I didn’t realize it then, but I had so much toxicity in my life. I always wondered why my exes were able to get over the breakup faster than I was. Now I realize it was because I was spending so much time hating them rather than getting over it. Similarly when I was twelve and I was being bullied, I spent more time angry at my bullies instead of just taking the time to be loving and nurturing to myself.

Goal:
Whatever struggle you are facing in your life, make sure you are not poisoning yourself with anger when you could be giving yourself love.

October 4

The most valuable possession you can own is an open heart.

—CARLOS SANTANA

You never know from which direction something wonderful will come into your life. You might be so set on one thing in your mind but the universe has something else even more wonderful in store for you. If you are only looking in one direction you might miss it. It’s important to be focused on your dreams and visions but at the same time stay open to any and all possibilities.

Goal:
Do something today you wouldn’t normally do, and see what it feels like. You might enjoy a new part of life.

October 5

We cannot start over but we can start now and make a new ending.

—ZIG ZIGLAR

Allow all of your hopes, dreams, and visions for your life to fill up your heart, energize, and inform every word you speak, and give new meaning to every step you take.

Goal:
Be fearless, ambitious, brave, and courageous in your personal and professional life.

October 6

The simple things are also the most extraordinary things, and only the wise can see them.

—PAULO COELHO

When was the last time you observed the world around you? There are so many small moments to notice in this life. Don’t become completely wrapped up in your own world that you stop noticing everything else.

Goal:
Take in as many little moments and details as you can.

October 7

Proud people breed sad sorrows for themselves.

—EMILY BRONTë

I think many of us have had a moment where we were too proud to either ask for help or say I don’t know. Pride can hinder us and our ability to learn. Never be ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help or say you don’t know or understand something.

Goal:
Ask lots of questions about the things you don’t understand. You’re not weak, you’re just expanding your mind by learning.

October 8

Promises are like the full moon, if they are not kept at once, they diminish day by day.

—GERMAN PROVERB

It’s easy for us to say we’ll take action, but if we don’t follow through with it then we’re just making empty promises. If you can’t follow through with the promises that you make, especially to yourself, then you will not only hurt others but you will damage your integrity.

Goal:
If you have hurt someone recently by not following through with a promise, make amends with them by apologizing.

October 9

There is only one way to avoid criticism: say nothing, be nothing, do nothing.

—ARISTOTLE

You can’t please everyone and you’re not supposed to. I’ve taken a lot of criticism and even read horrible comments on the Internet, but I can’t let that bring me down. I have to keep being who I am for the people in my life that matter and that will be enough.

Goal:
Don’t try to please everyone, just focus on pleasing yourself. If someone is over-criticizing you, don’t feed into them by responding.

October 10

Ego is a social fiction for which one person at a time gets all the blame.

—ROBERT ANTON WILSON

We are not our egos and we cannot blame everything on our egos. We have to take responsibility for the decisions we make in life even if that means putting our personal feelings aside and doing what’s right. Even though it may not be easy on our pride.

Goal:
Let go of your ego and take responsibility for your actions.

October 11

Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment.

—LAO TZU

There will be people in life who’ll say things to bring you down to their level. But we all have a choice about how we deal with that kind of treatment. It’s really hard to not react when all you want to do is make them feel as bad as they’ve made you feel. But I promise you that’s never the answer. Be patient and take the time to respond with grace, not for the sake of the other person but for yourself.

Goal:
The next time someone treats you poorly, do not reciprocate. Be the bigger person with your response.

October 12

The struggles and the chaos are part of life. But you have to accept them with grace and serenity because they have their own gifts too.

All my struggles and the journey I have taken have been a tremendous gift. They have allowed me to grow as an artist and a human being. Once I started accepting the struggles and decided to learn from them (instead of them controlling me), I felt so much more at ease. Now I realize that these struggles and challenges have actually helped me grow as an artist and a woman.

Goal:
When you’re consumed in chaos, remember that many positive changes will follow.

October 13

Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

—MARK TWAIN

I’ve had to learn the hard way who my real friends are, but the best way for me to tell is if they want to lift me up or bring me down. I only want to be with people who support me and in turn make me feel stronger because of their love and belief in me and because of my love and belief in them. You can’t have a friendship that’s one-sided—you have to get as much as you give.

Goal:
It might be worth letting a toxic person in your life know how you feel. If they aren’t willing to change the way they treat you, consider not spending so much time with them.

October 14

A Wounded Deer—leaps the highest—

—EMILY DICKINSON

Our wounds and scars give us strength and courage. Mine have made every moment in life more meaningful, and in the end I know myself better. I’m stronger and my passion for life is deeper. I can finally appreciate my wounds for the blessings that they brought me.

Goal:
Embrace your past difficulties and painful experiences—they helped shape you. You are stronger for having gone through all that you have, and no matter what, you stand here today able to talk about them.

October 15

God didn’t do it all in one day. What makes you think you can?

—UNKNOWN

No matter how hard you work it’s really important to take breaks. Stand up, stretch your muscles, have a five-minute meditation, and quiet your mind. When you go back to whatever you’e doing you will be more productive. When I spend a sixteen-hour day at the studio it’s so easy to lose myself in my work because I love what I’m doing. It’s really important that I stand up and get some air. It makes me feel better and keeps my work fresh.

Goal:
Recharge your battery by taking a moment for yourself each day.

October 16

Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.

—BUDDHA

There is so much power in our words—more than we realize. They can do so much good and so much damage. They can create peace or cause people to break out in violence. When we’re hurting the most it’s easy to lash out at other people, but then we become the source of the problem we are personally suffering from. Don’t take your pain out on others or you will just be perpetuating the cycle.