Stay with Me (50 page)

Blinking open my eyes, I bit down on my lower lip as I dipped my chin and looked down the length of my body.

Warm, chocolaty brown eyes, full of playful wickedness, met mine. “Morning,” he grumbled in husky voice that rumbled all over a very, very sensitive spot.

It had to be in the middle of the night or way early in the morning, but it was still dark beyond the window. The light on the nightstand was on and the blankets had been drawn off me and the shirt of his I’d worn to bed—the very one I had stolen days earlier—was pushed up around my waist. The band of my undies was inched down my hips, far enough that there was nothing between his mouth and me.

“Morning,” I gasped, and before I could say another word, he swept up over me and kissed me so softly, so tenderly, that a fuzzy little ball formed in my throat. He lifted his head, kissed me again, but this time on the tip of my nose, and then he was moving back down me.

Hooking his fingers under the band of my panties, he tugged them down until they were off and lying somewhere in the great unknown. From between my thighs, he peered up at me through thick lashes. “You promise to behave?”

“Me? You’re asking if I promise to behave?”

He sucked his full bottom lip between his teeth and then he said, “You need to stay still, baby. I don’t want you messing with your stitches.” His gaze dipped to the intimate part of me and then he licked his lips. Holy granola bar, I almost came right there. “I should be waiting until you’re a hundred percent, but I’m hungry for you and I couldn’t wait.”

Tight shivers rolled over me.

He looked up again. “You going to stay still?”

I really couldn’t make any promises, but I nodded. His eyes held mine for a moment longer, and then he stretched up and placed a kiss just above my belly button, on the scarred skin.

That didn’t even faze me.

Panting, I watched him trail that mouth around my navel until his tongue flicked out, circled, and then slipped in. I gasped again as he continued on, kissing and licking like he was seeking to taste every curve and swell. He took his time on my stomach and by the time he reached the area between my thighs, my head fell back on the pillow.

He touched me first, a soft sweep of his finger and I willed my body to stay still, but there was a slight jerk of my hips that did nothing to my stomach. His finger moved again, circling and then slipping in.

I moaned as I clenched the sheet underneath, but he wasn’t done as he slowly moved in and out. My breathing quickened when I felt his mouth against my inner thigh, then his tongue. He was slow—so damn slow that every caress of his lips and flick of his tongue claimed me.

A strangled sound escaped me when his tongue dipped in, replacing his finger, and my hips kicked once more. Before I met Jax, I never thought I’d be into something like that. It just seemed too foreign to me, so intimate, but good God, I’d been wrong. This was amazing. Maybe it was because it was Jax. Maybe all men had a tongue that was literally a mass weapon of assured seduction. Either way, he drew out every gasp, every throaty moan and broken whimper until I was beyond making sounds and breathing in general.

He shifted, tossing an arm over my hips, holding me in place. He seemed to sense that I was close. Tension and heat built in my core, then exploded in a flash, a burst of rioting sensations that frayed every nerve ending with a hot rush of pleasure. Aftershocks of the tight tremors rocked me as he slowed and then lifted his head, kissing my inner thigh and then just below my navel. As he rose, I reached for the band on the old shorts he wore. He sucked in a breath as my fingers brushed the hard ridge of him through the nylon.

“Calla,” he warned.

I wetted my lips. “I can return the favor.”

“That’s not why I did that.”

“I know.” I rolled carefully onto my uninjured side and found him there, his body braced on one arm. His mouth was so close that I went ahead and kissed it, and was quickly caught up in the taste of him and of me mingled together.

Jax was a kisser. That was something I’d learned right off the bat. He liked doing it, thoroughly enjoyed it, and was damn good at it. And as he got into it, I reached between us again. Sex might be out of the question for the next couple of days, just to be safe, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t use my hand. Or my mouth.

I tugged on his shorts again, but he caught my wrist and he growled against my lips. “Calla, hon . . .”

“I’m not an invalid, Jax. I want to do this.”

He didn’t move for what felt like an eternity and then he took my hand and slipped it under the band of his shorts. Well, good to see he was definitely on board.

His body shuddered as my hand wrapped around his thickness and he let go of my wrist, hooking his fingers on his shorts. He got them down his thighs as I kissed his neck.

Easing up, I pushed him down with my other hand and he stared up at me from where he was sprawled on his back. My gaze tracked over him as I slowly moved my hand. God, he was gorgeous. Every stretch of rough skin, every tightly rolled muscle, and every imperfection.

His hips jerked as my thumb smoothed over his tip, and I smiled, remembering him showing me that and how much he liked it.

“God, Calla,” he groaned as he reached up, tangling his fingers in the ends of my hair. “You’re driving me crazy.”

I grinned. “I haven’t even done anything.”

“Oh, you’re doing plenty enough. You’re—” His words ended in a deep groan, because I’d slid down and lowered my mouth over him. “Fuck, Calla . . .”

There’d been a slight twinge of discomfort from the sliding part but nothing major and it sure as hell didn’t deter me from what I wanted to do for him. My mouth slid over him, and the hand in my hair clamped down on the back of my neck. His thumb moved along the base of my skull as I lifted my head, licking and sucking until his hips were moving in small, barely controlled thrusts. His hand tightened on my neck and I could feel the flutters in his base, the slight pulses. His breathing turned ragged, and as I went as deep as I could, which probably wasn’t very much, he let out a hoarse shout.

At the last moment, he dragged me off him and up. The stitches in my side protested only a little. My hand was still around him and I felt his release as his back bowed and his hands tightened on my arms. I watched his muscles flex and roll, the cords stand out in his neck, and the tension flicker across his striking face as his hips slowed and then he settled, breathing heavily.

“Damn, Calla.” He pulled me up and laid that mouth on mine, kissing me so deeply I felt the warmth between my thighs and in my veins increasing as he eased me onto my back. The kiss slowed and he rested his forehead against mine. “You’re perfect, you know that?”

“No I’m not.” I smiled, though, because I liked that he thought that.

“Whatever. If I say it, it’s true.” I laughed softly as he drew away. “Be right back,” he said, and he was only gone for a moment, returning with a damp cloth. He cleaned us both up, and when he finished, he curved his body around mine.

“Sleepy time?” I asked.

His chuckle shook me. “Uh-huh.”

I smiled into the darkness. “What time is it anyway?”

“Don’t know,” he replied, kissing my shoulder. “Don’t care.”

“So you woke me up in the middle of the night just to . . . ?”

“Damn skippy.”

Laughing again, I snuggled into his warmth. “I love you.”

His chest rose sharply against my back and then he pressed languid kisses against my throat and cheek. “I love you, too.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay here?” Teresa asked as she pulled back from giving me a hug. “We can hang out. Jase is cool with that.”

I glanced over at where Jase was leaning against the wall just inside the townhouse. For the last hour, he’d been eyeing Teresa like he wanted to have
her
for dessert. So I doubted he was cool with that. I smiled at her. “I’m fine. I’m just going to chill out and watch TV the rest of the night and I don’t think Jax is going to work an entire shift. I think he said he’d be back around midnight.”

“We’ll be up late,” Jase replied. “So if you need anything, just call.”

“I bet you will be,” I replied dryly.

Grinning, he pushed off the wall and circled around Teresa’s waist from behind. He winked at me as he dipped his head, kissing her temple. “Come on, sweetheart, let’s hit the road.”

Teresa folded her hands over his arms as he started to walk backward, toward the door. “Don’t forget about tomorrow! If you and Jax are up for it, we all can go out to eat before we head back. All right?”

“I won’t forget.” I followed a rather desperate-looking Jase to the door. They’d been here for hours after Cam and Avery had left to go do whatever adorable couples do on their down time. “It should be fine. You guys have fun.”

Jase’s grin turned downright wicked. “We will.”

Teresa’s eyes rolled as he all but dragged her out of the door, but at the last moment she sprang free, ran back to where I stood at the threshold, and hugged me again. “I’m glad everything is going to be okay,” she whispered, and then she whirled around on her good leg.

Teresa took off and jumped from the top of the short set of cement steps. Jase, who was at the bottom, cursed as he caught her and staggered back a step. “Jesus, you’re going to give me a heart attack.”

She giggled as she wrapped her legs around his waist. When he turned to head to their car, she waved at me over his shoulder. I wiggled my fingers back, thinking they were going to give Cam and Avery a run for their money.

I closed the door and made my way back over to the couch. Kind of tired from spending most of the day with my friends and Jax, I yanked the blanket around me and curled up on the end of the couch. It didn’t take me long to drift off to sleep and I did so, as cheesy as this sounds, on a cloud of happy thoughts.

Today had been good, great even. It had been normal—my new kind of normal—full of laughs, smiles, conversation, and kisses, lots of sweet kisses and then not so sweet. I could get used to this and I would. It would be hard when I went back to Shepherd, but we’d make it work. That cloud of happiness would keep on being all fluffy and awesome.

I didn’t know how long I slept, but I came to, lured out of sleep by the soft sweep of cool fingers along my cheek. Blinking open my eyes, I expected to see Jax beside me, thinking I’d slept longer than I had.

But it wasn’t Jax sitting next to me.

Heart leaping into my throat, I sat up so fast I pulled at the tender skin on the side of my stomach and winced. “Oh my God.”

Mom was here.

I
stared at her for what had to be a freaking hour before I found my ability to speak. “How did you get in here?” I asked, craning my neck to see if Jax was anywhere, but we appeared to be the only two people in the house. Maybe that wasn’t the best question to start with but I was caught off guard, absolutely floored.

She drew away from the couch and stood. That’s when I noticed she was wearing the same clothing I’d last seen her in, and when I inhaled deeply, my heart . . . God, it ached like someone had reached inside and wrapped their fist around it. She smelled like someone who hadn’t seen the inside of a shower in
days
.

God.

Rubbing her left hand down her right arm, she glanced around. “I let myself in.”

“How?”

“The back door. It has one of those old locks. No dead bolts. I picked it.”

“You . . . you picked a lock?” When she nodded, I just stared at her. “You know
how
to pick a lock?”

She nodded again as she stopped rubbing her arm. Her hand stayed around the inside of her elbow, though. “Baby, I don’t have—”

“You left me.” Snapping out of my stupor, I rose to my feet as her gaze swung back to me sharply.

Mom blinked rapidly. “I need to tell—”

“I don’t care what you have to tell me.” And that was true. As terrible as it was, it was completely true. “I got shot. Did you realize that?”

“Baby—”

“Stop calling me that!” I shrieked, my hands balling tight. “Answer my question,
Mom
. Did you realize I’d been shot?”

Her cracked lips opened, but she didn’t speak. Instead she ducked her chin as she started scratching her right arm.

Hurt swelled in my throat like I’d swallowed a bitter pill. I stared at her,
my mother,
and it was like seeing a ghost. “You knew I’d been shot and you left me in the parking lot, bleeding. I was in the hospital for two days. I had internal bleeding. Do you even care?”

Chin jutting up, her watery gaze met mine for a fraction of a second and then her gaze darted away. “I care about you, Calla. I love you. You’re my daughter. I just . . . I . . .”

“Love getting high more?” A fissured laugh broke out of me. “Story of my life and your life. Drugs have always been more important.”

She didn’t say anything at first and then she said what I knew deep down in my heart she would say. “My babies are gone, Calla. Kevin and Tommy, they—”

“They’re dead!” I shouted as tears pricked at my eyes. Air rattled in my lungs as everything . . .
everything
came out. “They are dead, Mom. They have been dead for a long time. And you know what else, Dad has been gone for a fucking long time, too. You’re not the only person in this whole damn world who lost them. And no amount of shit you put in your body is going to bring them back.”

Her legs backpedaled like she could escape what I was saying, but this wasn’t the first time I’d said this to her. But I knew it was going to be the last.

And I was on a roll. Years and years of frustration, disappointment, and hurt balled up inside me, exploding over like a shaken bottle. “You stole from me, Mom. Do you even remember that? You drained my account, racked up over a hundred thousand dollars in debt in
my
name, and now I have to take out financial aid to finish school!”

Mom flinched.

“Not only that, but you almost got me killed. Like really dead—dead as in I’m totally fucking dead, Mom.” She recoiled again, but it couldn’t be like this was the first time this crossed her mind. “Clyde had a heart attack because of the people pissed at you who were messing with me. He almost died.”