Stay With Me (16 page)

I race to my car, swing open the door and slide in.  I pull out of the driveway like I’m a NASCAR driver, squealing tires as I turn left on the road.  As I head to the interstate, my mind goes in a million different directions.  What will I say when I see her?  Will she even see me?  Does she just need time?  I keep playing over and over the last time I saw her, which was just a couple hours ago.  It feels like eternity.  Her face keeps popping up in my head; her soft hair, her green eyes, her lips on mine.
 God, I sound like a pansy
.  I guess this is what it’s like to be in love with someone.  I never thought this way about Claire.  Allie consumes me; mind, body and soul.  I think back to the time when I first figured out I loved Allie.

 
“Donovan, come here for a minute,” Allie yelled down the hallway.  By the time I came around, she had ducked back into the bedroom.  She had my curiosity peaked, so I padded down to my room.  When I turned the corner, she was standing in front of me, wearing nothing but a white, silk nightie.  It was broad daylight, so the curtains were opened.  The sun hit her alabaster skin, giving her a radiant glow.  Her long, chestnut brown hair swept the top of her breasts.  I looked down her body and I saw she was wearing sky high, white heels.  She looked like a sexy angel, minus the wings.  
 

“You like?” She spun around, making the hemline twirl and giving me a peek at her ass.  

“Oh, baby doll, I love it,” I growled as I quickly closed the distance with two long strides.  She giggled and it was music to my ears.  I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her, long and deep.  She grabbed two fistfuls of my hair as her tongue twisted and turned with mine.  She pulled apart long enough to take my shirt off.  I pressed her body close to mine, the feeling of silk against my bare chest was almost too much.  I slipped the straps off her shoulders and the nightie pooled at her feet.  She wore nothing underneath; just the shoes.  She stepped out and led me to my bed.  
 

“God, you look amazing, baby,” I whispered in her ear as I laid her down.  She kissed me again as I unbuttoned my jeans.  She sat up and slid them down herself, along with my boxers.  My dick was already hard for her and I had barely touched her.

“Make love to me, please,” she pleaded, and I swear I got even harder.  

“Your wish is my command,” I said as I laid back on top of her and entered her, making her cry out my name.  She was always ready to give in to me.  I had the same effect on her as she did on me.  I slowly pushed in and pulled out, making her crazy.  She wrapped her legs around my waist, begging me to go even deeper.  I rested on my elbows as I filled her and I couldn’t take my eyes off of hers.  She stared at me with those intense green eyes, silently telling me she loved me.  That’s when I knew I loved her for sure.  I don’t know why I didn’t say it right then and there, but I held back.  I just continued to pleasure her, and myself.

It wasn’t long before she came.  She grabbed my ass and held me in place as she rode out the wave of pleasure I had just given her.  Once she finished, I gave another few thrusts and I spilled my seed into her.  I collapsed on top of her and kissed her, this time gentler than before.  She had turned me into a different person, but I was scared to admit it.   I just wanted to enjoy the time I had with her, at that moment, and I was in Heaven.

Now, I don’t know if I’ll even get the chance to tell her.  I should have told her then. I should have told her about my past.  I regret not saying it then, but if Allie gives me another chance, I won’t hold anything back.  It’s better to tell her the truth and have her hate me.  I hit seventy-five on the interstate and head towards Atlanta, hoping I can piece back together our relationship.  I unlock my phone and go to contacts.  I see the picture I took of us together and I feel a small smile come across my lips.  I hit dial; it rings two times, then goes straight to voicemail.  “And the’ not answering my calls’ cycle begins,” I say out loud.  

Chapter 21

Allie

“Livey, I’ll call you when I get closer to the station.  I’ll tell you about it then.  No offense, but I’m not in the mood to rehash it right now,” I sniffle, then hiccup.  Great, I have to ride another two hours with the hiccups.  At least there isn’t a lot of people on the bus.  I hear my phone beep, look down and I see Donovan’s number pop up.  I hit decline.

“I’m so sorry this happened.  If it makes you feel better, I think you two will get back together.  I have a gut feeling about it.” My best friend tries to comfort me, but it makes me feel worse.  “I’ll come pick you up.  What time does your flight leave?”

“At nine tonight.  I just need to get out of Atlanta for a little while, so I think seeing my mom will do me a lot of good.”  Thank goodness for smart phones; I booked the first flight to Lynchburg while sitting on a Greyhound.  

“Do you want me to come with you?  I can still get a flight.”

“No, you have to work.  It’s okay, I’ll be fine,” I lie.  I don’t know when I’ll ever been okay again.  The hole in my heart has grown since I left Savannah and Donovan.  I have no idea how I will ever heal.  Even Matt didn’t hurt me this bad, and I thought that was impossible to do.  “I’ll see you in a couple hours.”

“Want me to bring you a bag?”  Oh, how I love this girl.  I hadn’t even thought that far ahead.  I just wanted to get the hell out of Dodge.

“Yes, please.  Just throw some clothes and PJ’s in.  Thank you so much for being there for me.” I feel that lump forming again in my throat.  “I’ll call you in a little while.  Bye.”  I end the call and slump back in my seat.  I start wondering if I did the right thing.  I really didn’t give him a chance.  But then again, he had so many chances to talk to me.  I never held back, but him?  That’s all he did was keep things from me.  If he really cared, he would have been honest with me about Claire.  It wouldn’t be such a big deal to me if she was just some psycho ex-girlfriend, not at all.  I can handle
some
crazy, but she is insane on a whole different level.  She scarred him for life, hindered him from being in a normal relationship, and taught him how to lie to get what he wants.

Should I really be blaming Donovan for all his trust issues?  Shouldn’t I be blaming Claire?  Isn’t she the one that fucked him up so bad?  Isn’t she the one that had stalker tendencies and killed her husband?  I rub my temples, trying to fight the migraine that’s coming on.
  The day just keeps getting better and better.
 I grab some ibuprofen and swallow them down with no water.  They don’t go down smoothly due to my throat being so raw from crying.

I try to keep my mind off the day’s horrible events and just stare out the window at the zooming cars.  I start playing the game with the license plates; Idaho, Georgia, South Carolina, Georgia again.  The last Georgia tag looked like Donovan’s BMW.  I press my face across the glass, not thinking about all the germs that might be on the window.  Holy crap, it is him!  He’s got to be doing at least eighty.  He’s got to be coming after me.  Should I let him?  Should I talk to him, or do I need more time to process everything?  I slam my head against the back of the seat and stare at the ceiling.  “
What am I supposed to do
?” I think to myself.  
“Lord, can you show me the direction I need to take?”
  Nothing but silence; not that I expected an answer out loud.  If I got one, maybe I should be the one in the padded cell.  I know that He won’t let me down, but I wish I could just get a sign.

My phone starts playing ‘Start of Something Good’ by Daughtry, and I know it’s him calling again.  I debate on answering it this time, but end up just ignoring it.  I’m just not ready to talk.  My phone chirps again and it’s my mom.  I take in a deep breath and answer.  “Hey, Mom.”

“Honey, is everything okay?  You sounded so...sad on your voicemail.  Did something happen to you and Donovan?”  Leave it to my mother; she knows everything about me, and it’s scary sometimes.  I swear that I presented myself as normal on the message, but apparently not.

“I just wanted to tell you that I’ll be flying into Lynchburg tonight.  My flight gets there at  ten-thirty tonight.  Can you come pick me up?”  She’s going to see right through that act.

“Aw, sweetie, something did happen.” I knew it.  

“Yeah, it did.  I don’t want to talk about it right now.  I will when I get there.  But Mom, how did you know something was wrong?  I thought I sounded fine.”

“You hardly ever come home, now you’re flying in on a whim?  That’s not like you at all, sweetheart.”  Oh, this is true.  I never come home, unless it’s the holidays or something like that.  

“Well, I’ll just talk to you tonight.  Right now, I’m on the bus heading back to Atlanta.”

“Okay, sweetie.  I’ll see you tonight.  Please be careful.  I love you.”

I sigh, my heart feeling like it weighs a thousand pounds.  “I love you, too.  See you later.”  With that, I hang up, close my eyes, and try not to think of Donovan speeding towards Atlanta, with hopes of finding me.  I won’t be there, at least for a week.  Maybe then, I’ll be ready to untangle the web of lies.  Until then, I want to lay low and forget everything.

Chapter 22

We pull up to the bus station a little after six.  I step outside into the humid air and look for my best friend.  She’s not hard to spot; I see her strawberry blonde hair about twenty feet in front of me.  I make my way over and the minute she sees me, she trots up to me and hugs me.  It feels good to see Livey again.  I know it’s only been a day or so, but it feels like forever.  “I got your bag in the car.  You wanna grab a bite to eat before we head to the airport?”  

“Yeah, let’s go.  I need air conditioning, like now,” I gasp, the heat taking my breath straight out of my lungs.

We walk through the crowd out to the parking lot and hop into her Explorer.  She starts the engine, then looks at me.  She puts her tiny hand over mine.  “Allie, I know you’re hurting and I know things don’t seem like they’re gonna get better.  But trust me, they will.  Don’t they always?”  She doesn’t sugar coat anything and she’s being honest with me.  Funny, she’s the first person to do that today.

“Yeah, I know.  I just feel like it’s going to get worse before it gets better.”  I put my head in my hands.  My headache still hasn’t gone away, and I’m sure it’s from all the stress and the long bus ride.  Livey hands me a Coke.  “Oh, thank you.  I needed this so bad.”  I pop the top and chug half the can in one gulp.  Too bad it’s not a beer, I could seriously use one.  “Where do you want to go?”

“I was thinking we could go to Fandangles.  Something tells me you need a good martini.”  She pulls out and hangs a right.  “Besides, it’s not that far from the airport, so we can just hang out for a little while.”

“You have no idea how right you are.  I’m going to have to get pretty tipsy to get on a plane, too.”  I guess it’s better than taking a Valium.  

We make the ride in comfortable silence, and it feels so good to just be with someone that gets me.  Livey and I don’t have to talk at all times, like a couple of gossip queens.  We can just be in each other’s company and enjoy it.  And it makes me forget things, just a little.  She turns on the radio and tries to find a station that isn’t playing love songs.  She finally settles on a rock station and
‘Kashmir’
starts playing.  I try to let the music distract me from my thoughts, which have gone back to Donovan.  I wonder where he is right now.

We reach Fandangles, which is in the Sheraton, and to be a Saturday evening, it’s not crazy busy.  We head to the bar instead of waiting for a table.  The entire place was a sleek, modern look with gold and red accents.  The bar itself must be at least fifty feet long and the amount of liquor they have is astounding.  We perch ourselves on a high stool and wait for the bartender to notice us.  “I’m so not dressed for this place,” I say, looking down at my shorts and tank top.  “Guess I wasn’t expecting to even be back in Atlanta today.”  

Livey waves her hand up to get the bartender’s attention.  “Well, you’ve had a long day and you still look amazing.  You kinda make me sick.”  She gives me a wide smile and it makes me blush.  When the guy comes up to us to get our drinks, we order two peach martinis to start, along with our appetizers of jumbo crab cakes and bacon wrapped shrimp.  

As we sip on our beverages, Livey turns to look at me.  “I know you don’t really want to talk about it right now because it’s so soon.  But I really think you might want to give Donovan the benefit of the doubt here.”  I almost choke.

“Are you serious?  You really think I should give him another chance?  After all the lies he made me believe?” It comes out meaner than I would like, and truthfully, I want to see him again so bad, it hurts.  I want nothing more than to have him hold me and tell me it’s going to be okay, that we’re going to pull through this.  But right now, my heart is laying on the ground in Savannah, shattered.

“Whoa, sorry.  Didn’t mean to offend.  But I know you too well, Al.  I can tell you love him, and he loves you.  I saw that from the very first date you had with him.  Maybe you two didn’t know it then, but I did.  It was so obvious you two were crazy about each other.”   She plays with the stirrer in her martini.  

“If he loved me, then why the hell did he lie about so much?  Why couldn’t he be honest with me?”  I take a swallow of my drink and it burns so good going down.  At this rate, I’ll be real tipsy for my flight.