Stay (10 page)

Cass snorted. “Yes, your majesty. C’mon, Syd, let’s do what the man says.”

Lucas stumbled into the kitchen, more dead than alive. He raised a hand to shade his eyes from the sunlight pouring in through the picture window. He licked his dry lips. Damn. His mouth tasted the way a garbage truck smelled. “Coffee.”

“Well, and a good morning to you too.”

Lucas winced at the sound of the sheriff’s voice. His head pounded. “Can you keep the volume down?” He carefully lowered himself into a chair.

“Here.” The sheriff placed a steaming cup before him. “I made you some dry toast. Oughta help soak up some of that morning-after regret.” He set a plate down on the table.

“Thanks.” Lucas sipped the black coffee and chewed on the toast. It helped a little. He ventured a cautious glance at the man sitting across from him.

“Where’s Syd?”

“She went off with Chuck and Ryan to tag the last of the calves. Three more dropped their babies in the middle of the night while you were…” The sheriff cleared his throat for emphasis. “Busy.”

“Shit. I’m sorry about that.” Lucas rubbed his temples. “Why are you here?”

“I brought you home,” said the sheriff. “I didn’t want to leave Syd alone to take care of you and the cows.”

“Where’s my truck?”

“In town where you left it; parked behind the Rodeo Bar and Grill. You don’t remember anything, do you?”

Lucas shook his head, trying to keep the motion as smooth as possible.

“I bet you remember why, though.”

Lucas refused to look up. “What are you talking about?”

“Why you decided to tie one on. I’m guessing you remember the reason.”

Lucas lifted the mug of coffee to his lips, inhaling the steam as he sipped at it. “I don’t think that’s any of your business, sheriff.”

“Wouldn’t have something to do with this, would it?” The sheriff dropped the gold pendant in front of him.

Lucas hurried to set his mug down; worried he might tip it and scald himself. “Where’d you get that?”

“Fell out of your pocket when I undressed you and shoved you into bed earlier this morning.”

“Not this again. It’s nothing.”

“I hear that’s what you told Syd,” Cass said. “The gold isn’t
nothing
, Lucas, it’s a hell of a lot more than nothing. You saw the stuff I stashed in the tack room.”

Lucas closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. He was very tired of fighting. This conversation always led in one direction, straight to Wolf. “You know Sheriff, I’m not sure I give a damn about the gold, about you, about any of this.”

“Are you saying you don’t care about Syd?”

He slammed his fist on the table, ignoring the increasing pain in his head. “I’m not saying that. Syd is something… She’s something special. I’m telling you I’m tired of this. I’m tired of hearing about Wolf. I’m tired of seeing his face when I look in the mirror. I’m tired of…”

The sheriff interrupted him. “What did you say?”

“I said I’m tired of hearing about him.”

“No, you said you’re tired of seeing his face when you look in the mirror.”

“No,” Lucas shook his head. “I sure as hell did not.”

“You sure as hell did.” Sheriff rose to his feet. “Do you recall what you asked me this morning?”

“What?”

“What you asked me when I hauled your ass out of my truck.”

“I didn’t ask you a bloody thing.” Lucas shoved his hair out of his eyes.

“I thought you didn’t remember last night?”

“Fuck this. I’m sick of your riddles.” Lucas rose from his chair as well, hangover be damned. “If you have something to say, say it. Spit it out.”

Instead of answering, the sheriff began to unbutton his shirt. Lucas’s mouth dropped open. What the hell did the man think he was doing?

Cass said, “Only four people know about this, Lucas‌—‌I know about it. Syd knows about it because she saw the whole thing, my wife knows about it because I had to tell her, and the person who saved my life knows about it. That would be Wolf. He’s the only other person who knows about this. This morning you asked me about this gold and you poked me, right here.”

The man opened his shirt and Lucas stared, stunned. Hangover forgotten, Lucas reached a hand out as if to brush away the gold from the sheriff’s chest, but he stopped just short of touching him. The sheriff turned around and showed him his back. Just to the left of his spine was an even larger patch of skin, the color of gold. The area shimmered in the morning light.

Time and space reeled away and Lucas found himself standing outside his body, watching the scene before him. It was night, winter, and the sheriff lay in the snow, his life’s blood ebbing away from a gunshot wound. It was Wolf who pressed his hands on the dying man but Lucas felt the hot blood ooze through his own fingers. It was Wolf Syd spoke to, but Lucas heard her speaking to him. She begged him to do something, pleaded with him to save the sheriff’s life.

In that moment his heart broke.

He could save Cass Weber, but to do so he’s have to resume his real form. He’d forfeit the one thing he’d wanted more than immortality‌—‌to live a real life, to love a real woman.

But he did it. He did it for Syd and for the sheriff and because he had no choice. It was in his nature to preserve life.

Wolf spoke to Sydney Blake, but Lucas recognized his own voice.
I would have loved you for all eternity
.

Who was he? No, that was the wrong question. What in god’s name was he?

Syd leaned out the window of her truck to clip the last ear tag on the last calf. Chuck and Ryan grabbed their sticks and climbed into the mule.

“You can head back,” Syd called. “I want to wait until they mother up.” The two men waved to her as they turned the little vehicle around and headed back to the barn.

Syd wiggled around in the driver’s seat, trying to get comfortable. She needed a good stretch, a long hot shower and a nap, but not just yet. The herd came first.

Besides, she wasn’t sure she wanted to face Lucas. It was her fault he’d drunk enough whiskey to kill a horse.

Apparently supernatural beings could tolerate a whole lot of liquor.

“Shut up, Syd. He’s not a supernatural being, he’s a cowboy. Stop trying to make him into someone he’s not.”

Syd pulled the elastic band from her hair and shook out her ponytail. She knew she had to go back to the house sooner or later to face the music, but for the moment she allowed herself to watch and listen. The way the mothers called to their babies always made her smile. Every cow knew her calf and every calf knew her mother.

The bawling soothed her. She doubted anyone who had grown up in the city would find a noisy herd of cows so comforting, but their lowing had always put her to sleep.

She hoped she’d be half the mother her cows were. Syd closed her eyes and folded her hands across her abdomen, fingers caressing her unborn child. She knew it would be hard work, to be a good doctor, a good rancher, and a good mother. And right now she was so very sleepy.

“Sydney.”

“Hmmm?”

“Sydney Blake, wake up.”

She bolted upright at the sound of his voice. Lucas stood there, right next to the window. Without another word he opened the door of the cab, used the bulk of his long, hard body to keep her still, and he kissed her. He put his heart and soul into that kiss, as if she were his salvation, his personal life-giving manna from heaven.

He kissed her as if this was the last kiss they’d share for all eternity.

Syd nearly fainted when he let her go. She knew he was saying goodbye.

“Don’t go,” she said. She tilted her head back, searching his eyes. They blazed with raw, savage need and not a little fear. He was afraid of her.

Syd knew she should cry, a woman should cry when her man leaves her. She tried to will the tears to come, but her eyes remained dry and dusty and dull with pain. “Please, don’t go,” she repeated.

“I don’t have a choice,” he said.

“There’s always a choice.”

He slid his hands through her hair, cupping the sides of her head. His voice was rough. The anguish she heard touched her soul. “I don’t know who I am anymore. I need time to figure it out. I need time away from you.”

His words hit her like a slap across the face, and now the tears flowed. Lucas tried to kiss them away, but it was too late. He couldn’t take the words back. All the emotion she’d reined in for months poured out in one fell swoop. Syd fell against Lucas, her body wracked with sobs.

He held onto her. She let him hold her. It didn’t matter anymore who or what he was. Lucas or Wolf, Syd didn’t care. He was leaving again. That was the only thing that mattered.

When she quieted at last, he said, “What I mean is…” He brushed the tears from her cheeks. “I can’t sort this out when I’m this close to you, Syd. You overwhelm me. When I’m awake you’re with me. When I’m asleep, you invade my dreams. You live in here.” He thumped his chest. “And I can’t get you out.”

She could only manage a whisper. “Do you want me out?”

He gave her the barest hint of a smile. “No, never. But until I understand what I am, what happened to me, I can’t stay here. I can’t think clearly in your presence. A man can’t be two people at the same time. I need some space to wrap my brain around this.” He lifted her chin. “Syd, I’m a cowboy. I don’t believe in this crap. But…”

“But you’re Wolf too,” she said.

Lucas nodded. “I don’t want to be him. But I am. I don’t want to know things a man shouldn’t know. But I do.”

Syd rested her head against his shoulder. She knew any argument was futile. What he was… He was impossible. She knew how long it had taken her to come to terms with it. “When will you leave?”

“I’m packed. I’ve loaded up my horse,” he said. “I’m leaving now.”

“What did you tell him?” Syd slammed the kitchen door behind her.

“I told him the truth. Isn’t that what you wanted him to know, the truth?”

She stomped right past the sheriff. “You had no right, Cass. No right.”

“I had just as much right to tell him as you, maybe more.”

Syd paced in front of the stove. “I should go after him. I need to bring him back.”

Cass shook his head. He held out a glass of orange juice. “That’s the last thing you should do. Right now you need to shut up, sit down, and drink this or I’ll haul your ass into town and tell your doctor to force feed you.”

Syd grabbed the glass from his hand, sloshing juice over the rim and onto her jacket. “He might not come back.”

“I know.” Cass swung a chair around behind her. “Here, sit down before you fall down.” He gently pushed her back and when she sat he knelt in front of her. Cass took her hands in his. “Listen to me, kiddo. Sometimes you have to take a risk. And in this case, I don’t think you have a say. Lucas needed to know the truth, and now it’s up to him to find a way to live with it.”

“Bu what if…?” Syd couldn’t finish her sentence.

“Like I said, it’s a risk, but it’s a risk you have to take. If Lucas can’t come to terms with what he is, it’ll always be between you like some no man’s land, a demilitarized zone. Like a minefield waiting for one of you to take a wrong step. You don’t want that.”