Starwalker (Starborn 1) (Sci-Fi Fantasy Romance) (7 page)

Canna cleared her throat. “I can and
will
speak for myself. I need no tending. I am going to Ula’s.” She turned and went quickly away from the scene.

Trellan raised a curious eyebrow, which Breckken ignored. “We will wait here for transport to arrive.”

Breckken nodded. “I will come give my report later.” Even as he said this, he was turning to follow after her.

No way was she getting out of his sight. Not now. Not ever.

Chapter Six

Gilleth was on high alert as he went through the city streets with Emma.

Someone had tried to take her away.

Take. Her. Away.

How dare they even attempt it? And not just someone—but the Helix. What did those heathens want with sweet Emma?

He’d killed tonight. Not the first time in his life but… the first in a long while. And he would do it again if it came to it.

He glanced at her. She was still trembling from the attack. He could feel her fear as if it was his own. Except it brought out his anger. Made him want to retaliate.

She was so gentle. Of course when the wren asked directions, she’d immediately stopped and pointed out the way to Hygg’s City Store. She hadn’t even suspected he meant her harm.

Then he’d grabbed her.

Gill felt ill. If he hadn’t been watching her… if he wasn’t obsessed with her safety…

Would he have ever seen her face again? He couldn’t stand to think of what might have happened to her. The Helix was brutal in their quest, and no doubt they would have hexed and eliminated her when they were through with her.

What did they want with her anyway?

They approached her home—a rather small dwelling she shared with Ula. As they passed through the gates, he still felt no sense of relief.

“Ula will not be home for many hours,” she whispered, almost to herself.

Gilleth had no intention of leaving her alone, even though something inside him rebelled at the way he needed to protect her. She was not his Heartbeat. He had no right acting this way with her, so involved, so possessive.

He was just now at the right age to meet his Heartbeat. What if he met her tomorrow? What would she say if she knew Gill felt so strongly about another maiden?

He was horrified when he realized he didn’t care anymore. He’d spent over a thousand years trying to deny what he felt for Emmalyn, trying to convince himself he was in the city to search for his Heartbeat. Truth was, he’d given up searching a long, long time ago.

And he’d fallen in love with someone who wasn’t his.

The guilt had been eating him up slowly. But now, after seeing her life threatened. He just didn’t care anymore.

Only one thing kept him in check now: Emma’s future.

She had no Heartbeat either. But one day she would. One day she’d meet a fellow wren and experience that supernatural awakening for herself. And she would be happy and fulfilled and complete.

Without Gilleth.

She deserved it, damn it all. She deserved to be happy like that. And it wasn’t fair for him to insert himself into her life. Not when she wasn’t his and he wasn’t hers.

It wasn’t right. No matter how right it felt.

So he removed his arm from around her, even though it killed him to do so. Even though her body responded with a shaking fit. Even though her eyes swam with tears. The coward he was, he glanced away so he wouldn’t have to look at them.

“I will stay outside, make sure none of them come here. You will be safe.”

She nodded. “Th-thank you, Gilleth. And thank you for… intervening on my behalf.”

He stiffened. “I would have done the same for anyone.”

“Oh. Yes, I know. I just meant…” She shook her head as if to clear it and stared at the ground beneath her feet. “I just meant, thank you.”

She was so sad. On top of everything else—fear, shock, confusion—she was… sad.

The urge to sweep her into his arms was nigh overwhelming but his hands remained at his sides.

“You are welcome,” he managed.

She turned to make her way inside, and he vowed he would stay there all night watching for Helix. She
would
be safe. He’d make sure of it. It was the only thing he could do for her, the only way he could be close to her. It was all he could do for himself and his aching, non-beating heart.

***

One foot in front of the other
.
She could do this, she could. Left. And then right… and then left again
.
Almost to the door… She absolutely could
not
run back to him and beg him to come inside with her until Ula got home.

Gilleth was simply a helpful citizen who’d happened upon an attack. Of course he would do what he could to help. And really, he’d offered to stay outside and keep watch for a bit. He didn’t even have to do that.

She reached the door but her hand was shaking so badly she couldn’t get the lock undone.

Calm down, Emma
.
Breathe
.

She tried again. Her fingers fluttered like a stray slip of paper in the street. She took two deep breaths. Closed her eyes. And tried again.

Warm fingers curled around her own. Her eyes popped open.

“Let me,” Gill’s voice came from right over her shoulder. His breath brushed by her ear like a warm, soothing caress.

He smoothly unlocked the door and opened it wide for her. “You are safe now,” he said again. “Believe it.”

Crossing the threshold, she tried to let the truth of his words sink in. But maybe what she needed had nothing to do with being safe.

She needed
him
. To hold her like he had on the street. To remind her she wasn’t alone. For in that moment she’d felt complete. Whole. Purposeful. And of course, she’d felt safe. Like nothing could ever touch her again.

And when he’d removed his arm from around her, she’d become cold.

She shut the door behind her and watched him walk back to the gate.

She was such a fool.

How could she have fallen for this wren, of all wrens?

Emma had never been emotional when it came to men. She’d never had a single relationship, and always intended on waiting for her Heartbeat.

But then… she’d met Gilleth. In the first three seconds, there had been such a connection—something different than she’d felt before—that she’d thought for sure he was hers.

Except her heart didn’t beat for him. She’d even been stupid enough to think that maybe it would just take time. But years had passed, and the heartbeat is always instantaneous.

Except she wanted to be with him anyway, Heartbeat or not. It was crazy and unheard of, and she wasn’t one to skirt the rules, but no matter how much she tried to tame her heart, it didn’t want to listen.

She imagined finally facing her Heartbeat, what she would say to him. How would she tell him her heart already belonged to another. Sure, there were many who enjoyed relationships before finding their mates, but always, they saved their love for the one they’d spend eternity with.

Gilleth already had her love.

She couldn’t imagine wanting anybody besides Gilleth. For so many years she’d tried to rid herself of him. Impossible. Even though it was clear he was waiting for his maiden, and showed no interest in any other, she still couldn’t make herself stop pining over him.

She was a complete fool.

Brushing past the small kitchen, she climbed the tiny stairwell to her private quarters. Shaking still, she undid her robing and quickly bathed, the warm water washing away the feel of grimy hands that had tried to take her away.

What did the Helix want with her? She had no connection to them, current or former. She thought they were horrid. Any person who found nothing wrong with killing innocents was beyond scum in her book. The Helix could say what they wanted about their rights to equality and whatnot, but the truth of it was, they were a bunch of entitlement driven mercenaries who were bent on getting what they wanted.

Emma dressed in a warm sleeping gown. Shivering, she got into bed. After so many years, she still wasn’t used to the blistering cold of the city and even with the fire blazing in the ket, she was cold to the bone. Leftover adrenaline likely wasn’t helping.

She reached up and gingerly touched her cheekbone. Yep, it was swollen. Probably bruised. One of the wrens had hit her just before Gilleth jumped from the shadows to help.

Her bed didn’t bring comfort. She tossed and turned, trying to settle, but sleep remained elusive. She desperately needed to warm up. Maybe some hot tea would help. Maybe then the shaking would stop. As it was, she was beginning to think there’d be no end to it.

***

Breckken caught up to Canna even though her gait was sure and fast.

“I do not like to be followed, wren,” she said coolly.

“Please, call me Breckken. Or Breck. Or—”

She stopped, turning to glare at him, her jewel eyes glowing with so much rebellion. “I will not call you anything. And you should be grateful I didn’t kill you as I promised. Leave now and you shall remain breathing.”

Breckken stared at her, taking in every feature, grateful he could finally look upon her with freedom. She was utterly glorious in the moment. He couldn’t imagine how leaving her would help him to keep breathing.

“You’re only alive to make that threat because I saved you from that massive wren who’d pinned you down,” he said lightly.

Her eyes narrowed to tiny slits. “I would’ve survived. As if I’ve never been in such a position before.”

Breckken ground his teeth together at the implication, even though he knew it was untrue. She’d never been beneath a male—fighting or otherwise.

She rolled her eyes and continued walking. “I know how to handle myself around aggressive wrens.”

“I believe you. But I’m still going to see you to Ula’s.”

She walked faster. “Why?”

“What?”

“
Why
?” she said, dragging out the word.

“Because…” He had a feeling that any answer was going to be the wrong one. “I want to.”

“Funny,” she muttered.

“What’s funny?”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Why not? It’s true.” Oh boy, was it true. He wanted to follow her all over the star for the rest of eternity.

Canna just shook her head and walked on.

“You think I don’t want you as mine,” Breckken murmured.

Her step faltered a little but she recovered quickly. He reached for her arm to make her stop and she shocked him by obliging.

“I do want you, Cannalise. I always have.”

There was only the slightest crease of her brow to let him know that he was right about the words on the bench. They were there because of him.

He rubbed the soft skin of her forearm, relishing the fact that he was touching her. The sensation shot straight from his fingers to his chest, heating him up in a curious way. She lingered for a moment this time before jerking away from him.

In a tone that was truly curious, she said, “Do you think me stupid?”

“No. Of course not.”

“Because I am not. And I know why you are making yourself known now. You are developing heartsickness. But worry not. It goes away with time.” She started walking again.

“I’m not heartsick.”

Canna ignored him.

“Canna, I’m not heartsick. Not yet anyway.”

“Whatever. I do not care.”

“Yes, you do.”

She stopped and faced him again. “Do I have to harm you to make you understand? I couldn’t care less if you want me or not. Because I don’t want you.”

He swallowed against the ache her words caused.

“I will prove it to you,” Breckken said, breathing hard. “I will prove my devotion to you.”

“There is nothing to prove. You said it all already. A thousand years ago—I’m sorry, one thousand and four years ago—I made your heart beat. Now, you are finally getting around to telling me so. I get it. I really do. You have nothing to prove.” She shook her head, white dreads falling across her shoulders. “Now, leave me be.”

“You don’t want to be alone,” he said, his voice taking on an echo of the ache that flared in his chest. “I can see it in your eyes. Your eyes tell me everything.”

Canna blinked once, her eyes staying closed a little too long. “I am good alone,” she said with conviction. “I flourish when I am alone. It is my destiny.”

He stepped closer, towering over her. She didn’t back away. “I am your destiny, Cannalise. I am.”

“No,” she snapped. “You are the one who made me who I am today. A thousand years ago, you could’ve come to me. You could’ve been my friend, my companion, over the years, maybe more. I would not have spent centuries of my life as an outcast. As a loner. I would’ve had… you. I would’ve known what it was like to belong to someone. But you
didn’t
come to me.” Her voice grew reedy even though her face was like granite. “You think you are my future? My destiny? No, you are simply my past.”

She stalked forward.

“Canna…” Breckken’s voice was shot, the lump in his throat rising up to choke him.

She flung open the door to the kafé and disappeared inside. As the door shut in his face, Breckken felt like breaking it in two. Ripping the slab of ice right down the middle. The way his heart was torn in two. It seemed appropriate.