Starting Over (8 page)

CHAPTER ELEVEN

T
here is an erection pressed against me.

I never dreamed that this is where strep throat would lead, but there you have it.

I’m lying on my side, facing the bright sun streaming through the windows since I never closed the blinds yesterday, relishing the beauty of a gorgeous Miami Sunday morning, when I feel it for the first time behind me.

Cameron is spooning me. He has his chest and arms like a safety net around me, and it feels like a perfect bubble of comfort, from which I don’t really want to move. I can sense his even breathing and a light, adorable snore that alerts me that he’s sleeping soundly. But other . . . parts of him are awake.

What is the protocol here, exactly? Do I nudge him and tell him to remove it from knocking on the back door? Or do I pretend that I can’t feel it and just wait for him to wake up on his own? Wait, that won’t work, since he’ll get out of my bed with a full-blown tent in his shorts, and that might be even more awkward. The last thing I want to do is call attention to it, even though it’s doing a perfectly capable job of that all on its own.

I start to yawn, causing my rib cage to expand where Cameron’s one arm is draped over me. This slight movement is enough to get him stirring, and I’m hoping he’ll roll over so I can get up and out of the room and he won’t be embarrassed by what’s happening. Instead of rolling over, he settles in closer behind me. Then his left hand slides up the side of my body slowly until he’s cupping my breast.

Okay, this is the exact opposite of what I was hoping to accomplish, and I’m frozen as still as a statue, not sure of what do next. I’m not a virgin and do not pretend to be holier-than-thou when it comes to sex, but I am in no way prepared yet to do anything with him like this.

However, my body starts to betray me when he begins to massage my breast, slowly and methodically. It’s as if my mind has been hijacked by some sexual deviant, because good Lord, does that feel good. Especially when his thumb and forefinger zero in on my nipple, and he rubs it between his fingers before going right back to massaging it in his strong hand. Then it’s a back and forth of massaging and tugging for a good minute.

I don’t want him to stop even though I know that we should. So, thinking that he’s asleep and doing a sleepwalk sex thing, I rest my head on the pillow more comfortably and close my eyes to revel in this for just a moment longer . . . and maybe even a little past that for good measure.

But then, to both my utter shock and delight, Cameron starts to press light kisses on my neck. His lips inch up slowly as he moves behind me, letting me know that he’s completely awake and completely aware of what is going on between us.

My brain switches off entirely and lets him take command of my body. I mean, a few precious minutes won’t kill me. Or at least that’s what I tell myself when rational thought tries to infiltrate me again as my breath hitches and starts to sound more like I’m losing control of the situation.

The day old stubble on his chin rasps against my neck while Cameron continues to press kisses behind my ear in the most exquisite way, and it only adds to the sensation running through me. I grip the comforter in my hand to anchor me to this moment, to this bed, and to him a little while more. But then his hand that had been massaging my breast reaches out to capture mine. He picks it up and smoothly snakes it behind his neck, then runs his fingers down, featherlight, from wrist to shoulder, until they reach my breast again, where he picks up right where he had left off.

I’m lost in the feeling of his lips, his hands, and his body playing mine like a fine instrument. But when his hand leaves my chest and runs the length of my torso down, just past my navel and right above my pajama bottom, I begin to get slightly panicked.

My body, which had been relaxed, tightens and Cameron notices, so he stops all his movements. We stay frozen like that for a couple of seconds until he breaks the silence.

With his mouth by my ear and in a low voice, he says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get carried away like that and scare you.”

“You didn’t scare me.”

“Are you sure?”

I nod, and as my breathing returns to normal, he carefully removes my hand from behind his neck and presses a kiss to the back of it. He brings my hand down to rest on the comforter once again, but keeps his body right up against my backside.

“Okay,” he says softly. He props himself up on his elbow to look down at me. “Do we want to talk about what just happened?”

Shaking my head, my cheeks turning a shade of crimson, I say, “No, I’m good, thanks. But can I ask you something?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“How did we end up in my bed?”

Cameron’s face beams with a full smile and his dark eyes lighten at my question. “You don’t remember me trying to leave and you pulling me into your bed with you?”

When I close my eyes, all the medicine and fever-fueled haze from the previous night comes back in a flash of moving pictures in my head. “Kind of,” I say and look into his eyes. “I’m so sorry about that. You should have just left me on the couch.”

“Vanessa, I—”

My cell phone buzzes from somewhere in my bedroom, interrupting him. And then I remember Josie and my entire family are due back today. My upper body jackknifes from the bed, my head darting around while I look for the phone. I find it on my dresser on the other side of the room. Leaving Cameron in the bed, I literally jump out of it and grab the phone to just miss Josie’s phone call.

While I stare at it in my hand, waiting for the voice mail I’m sure she’s recording, Cameron says, “Is everything all right?”

The phone buzzes with a voice mail alert, so I put up my finger to let him know I’ll be a second and listen to Josie’s message.

“Hi, Mom, we all hope you’re feeling better. According to Uncle Alex, we’re about two hours away, but Aunt Julia,” she says in a deathly whisper, “says it’s more like an hour and a half if he listens to her directions. Anyway, they’ll be dropping me off soon and I can’t wait to see you. Love you. Bye.”

I turn around to see Cameron is still in my bed, his jet-black hair is a tousled mess and makes him look delectably sleepy and sexy. And for a brief second, my thoughts edge on running my fingers through it while he does things to me. But sanity prevails.

“Cameron, can we talk about this later?” I ask. “That was Josie, she’s almost home. And I would really rather not have to explain this to her just yet. Especially since I was supposed to be sick.”

The corner of his mouth lifts in a grin. “Well, you were sick.”

“Yes, I was, but thanks to . . . you, I’m feeling much better.”

He rubs his jaw as his face breaks into a beautiful smile. “You’re welcome.” He finally kicks the comforter off and swings his legs over the side of the bed. Slowly, he pads over to where I’m standing in front of my dresser and stops just a breath away from me. “Before I go home, since it seems we are doing things backward and I would love to spend more time with you, please say yes to my next question, okay?”

I press my lips together to keep from giggling, because that’s how
light and free and young he makes me feel when he says such sweet
things. So I simply nod, assuming that his question is what I think it is.

“Let me take you out to dinner.”

“That’s not really a question,” I say to him.

“No, it’s not, but you already agreed by nodding your head. So, I’ll be in touch to see what night works best for you, okay?”

“Okay.”

With that, I follow him downstairs and open the door. He starts to walk out but hesitates, and a little bit of that shyness that he’s showed me before creeps across his features. I have somehow stumbled upon a man who is willing to take things slow for me because he realizes that I need it to be that way. But I can tell that he’s unsure as well, which relaxes me instantly because it’s like we’re on an even playing field.

“Cameron,” I say to him and take his hand in mine. “I’m not spooked by what happened before, I need you to know that. I . . .”

“You what?” he asks with an expectant look in his eyes.

“I liked it.”

He smiles and bends down to place a kiss on my forehead before ducking out the door; I close it behind him, my smile matching his as I lean against it.

After I’ve showered and taken another dose of the antibiotics and eaten something, I’m already feeling so much better than I was yesterday. About an hour or so later, much sooner than Alex had projected, I hear his car pull up outside, so I press the pause button on the movie I was watching.

I’m nervous that Josie will be able to tell from the look on my face that something happened while she was gone. But maybe that will be a good way to open up a conversation about dating her teacher, even though she’s already on board. I want to make double and triple sure before I move forward any more than I already have.

The front door flies open and Josie comes running in. “Mom, we had the best time!”

She gives me a big hug while I’m still on the couch, and right behind her walk in Alex, Julia, and my niece, Violet.

“Are you feeling better?” Josie asks and presses her palm across my forehead. “You’re not warm anymore.”

“I’m feeling much better, kid.”

“Mom, I so wish you could have been there with us. Oh my God, that new Hogwarts Express train is the coolest thing ever! We have to go back so I can show you!”

Over her shoulder, I say a quick hello to Alex and Julia and ask Violet if she enjoyed herself.

Violet says as she rubs her eyes, “I had fun, Aunt Nessa, but I’m so tired.”

Josie says to her, “Violet, remember you wanted me to show you something in my room?”

Violet’s face lights up again and she makes a beeline to the stairs, with Josie right behind her to make sure she doesn’t fall.

“Be careful,” I yell and then look at my brother and his wife, who seem exhausted. “What about you guys?”

Julia comes to sit next to me and throws her feet up on the coffee table. “I need alcohol, a hot bath, and another vacation. Not necessarily in that order.”

Alex sits down next to Julia. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Are you kidding?” she says. “There is something to be said about those harnesses you see parents using.”

“They’re leashes, and no, our daughter will not be wearing one. Ever.”

She crosses her arms and smiles. “Fine, then you’ll chase after her the next time she runs away and straight into a gift shop and hides inside one of the clothing displays and thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world.”

“Violet did that?” I ask, trying not to laugh too hard.

“Yes,” Julia says. She points her thumb over at Alex. “This one was busy getting a butterbeer, or so he says.”

“What do you mean, ‘or so he says’? I
was
getting a butterbeer, and I finished it by the time I met up with you again.”

“Yeah, right,” she says under her breath. “Anyway, how are you feeling? You were missed, but Josie had a really good time and as always, was impeccably behaved. Wish I could say the same about my demon child.”

“I’m much better, thanks,” I say. “Still a little tired, but my throat’s not that sore anymore and the fever is finally gone.”

It’s then that Julia notices the television and tilts her head to the side at the scene at which I paused the movie.

“Um, Vanessa,” she says. “Have you started stalking Harrison Ford? Do I need to be concerned?”

“No!”

“Okay, then tell me why you’ve asked me recently if he’s hot and then I come over and boom, here you are watching
Regarding Henry
. Seems fishy.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Alex asks, propping his feet up on the coffee table as well.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say in a rush. I attempt to grab the remote to change the channel, but Julia beats me to it and snatches it up first.

“Spill. Details. Now,” she commands.

I look over toward the stairs to make sure Josie isn’t coming back anytime soon before filling Julia in on what’s been happening with Cameron, up until he left a couple of hours ago. “So that’s it. I guess I’ll be going out with him soon, and I’m a little nervous but I’m looking forward to it.”

Julia looks at Alex and asks, “Did you know about this and not tell me?”

“No,” he says, with his eyes closed and looking like he’s about to fall asleep any second.

“Okay, so, you’re nervous. That’s totally normal.”

“It’s been a while,” I say.

Julia leans forward and asks in a whisper, “How long?”

“Long.”

“That long, huh?”

“Yeah,” I say and rub my face with my hands. “So I’m trying to get the hang of the rules of dating and all that good stuff.”

Her smile widens wickedly. “It’s like baseball.”

“What’s like baseball?” Alex asks, popping back into the conversation.

“Sex,” she says.

“How so?” he asks with a laugh.

“Well, you know like the first date is first base which equals a kiss. The second date is second base, which means it’s at least a tit grab or something. Then by the third date, it’s a home run and you go all the way.”