STARTING OVER (25 page)

"That wasn't exactly what I had in mind." His eyes twinkled with infectious excitement. "How would you like to go car shopping tonight?"

She stared at him for a few seconds as the idea sunk in. "A new car? I don't know. Maybe we should save this money for a rainy day. You never know in this business...."

"C-Breeze is doing just fine. We couldn't handle any more business. The oil industry is recovering, and as long as there are bans on drilling off the New England and California coasts, this area will carry the majority of the activity." He reached up and let his finger slide down the upward curve of her nose. "I told you
before, it's not your job to worry. I've taken that load off your shoulders. C-Breeze is back in business, and you deserve to spend a little money on yourself for a change."

It was a tempting suggestion, but still Kate wavered as she remembered how it felt to worry about making the next payment on the house, the helicopter and the credit cards. Since she had begun doing the bookkeeping, she had to admit things were looking much better. All of the credit cards were paid off, there was no helicopter payment, and she had even been able to open a money market account with what was left of Doug's life insurance payment.

But she had gone for so long without being aware of the finances that she was fearful some catastrophe might strike again that would eat all the savings. When she stopped working in the office for Doug, there had been money in the bank, too, but something had happened to put them deeply into debt.

Of course, the new helicopter had taken a big chunk of their income. Doug had told her they couldn't continue without it, and yet Rusty was making half a dozen runs a day in the old one and said it was in great condition.

She was beginning to question some of Doug's decisions. He hadn't always acted wisely; making extravagant purchases that had nearly pushed them over the edge.

Kate knew she would always be overly cautious after being so close to bankruptcy. But Rusty seemed to have everything under control, and the credit side of the ledger was growing steadily while the debit side was down to a reasonable amount. Buying a car for a few thousand dollars was a much smaller risk than buying a helicopter for almost a million.

"I have a roast almost ready. I'll call my in-laws and see if they can babysit Shanna. If they agree, then I suppose we could go look at a few cars after dinner," she said, still unable to commit that much money to something she didn't absolutely have to have.

Her in-laws were delighted and even offered to take Shanna home with them for the night. While Kate was finishing the dinner preparations, getting the baby's things ready and dressing herself, Rusty gave her faithful but faded yellow car a thorough cleaning.

All through dinner, they discussed the pros and cons of all the models they liked. Then, with great trepidation, Kate followed him around the car lot, peering into windows, studying sticker prices and listening to the salesman give them his best pitch.

Rusty asked plenty of questions, but Kate could see he was waiting for her to find something she liked. They continued walking from car to car, with Rusty stopping occasionally to ask her what she thought of that particular vehicle.

The salesman soon noted that Kate must be pleased first, so he asked her what she had in mind.

"To be honest, I'm not really convinced that I need a new car," she admitted. "Well, that's not entirely true, because I know my old car isn't as dependable as it used to be. And the air conditioner doesn't work, which is miserable during the summer, especially for my baby."

"So you have a baby!" the salesman declared with a knowing gleam in his eye. "My wife and I have a two-year-old, and I remember how much stuff we had to carry around every time we went somewhere. I'll bet you could use a vehicle with lots of space for carrying playpens, diapers, baby food, clothes, swings and all the other necessities it takes for your little one. Have you ever considered a minivan?"

They crossed the sales lot and stopped in front of a scaled-down version of a van. The inside had been partially customized with thick carpet, large tinted windows and comfortable bucket seats. But most importantly, the back seat slid forward or lay flat, allowing for plenty of storage area. It had air conditioning, a nice stereo CD player and all the mechanical extras that would make driving it a pleasure.

And it was on sale, with a rebate.

When faced with such logic, Kate gave in to temptation.

Rusty negotiated the deal, pulling a rock-bottom price out of the sales manager with the same easy charm he used to gain contracts for C-Breeze. Without further argument, Kate handed over her keys to her old economy compact and accepted the keys to the shining burgundy minivan that sat outside, freshly washed, vacuumed and ready to go.

The dealership was closing when she and Rusty finally drove away. Her checkbook was twenty-five thousand dollars lighter, but she was caught in the excitement of the moment. This was a reasonable purchase, and now that she had done it, she wasn't regretting the expense.

"Where to?" Rusty asked. "Do you want to drive around awhile or go straight home?"

"Let's drive around. With Shanna at her grandparents overnight, we don't have to worry about being home early." Kate leaned back against the plush cushions. "Why don't we go to Galveston?"

"We'll have to wash the van again, because all that salty air won't be good for it. And if we get out, the sand—"

Kate reached over and ran her hand along the muscular ridge of his thigh. "Oh, loosen up. You're finally taking your worrying duties seriously, and I'm ready to relax and have a good time."

"How good a time would you like to have?" His voice was teasing, but the look in his eyes was deadly serious.

Kate met his gaze boldly, provocatively. "A very good time," she answered as her hand eased up his leg. Her fingers were not surprised to feel the heated bulge in the crotch of his jeans.

His foot slipped off the accelerator, and he had to fumble to readjust their speed. "Kate!" he exclaimed, warning her, giving her a chance to keep their emotions cool and in control.

But the throbbing heat that had been growing inside since the first time he kissed her would no longer be ignored. She wanted him to love her. And she had to find out why he wouldn't.

"Rusty, what's wrong? Why don't you want to make love to me? Have you changed your mind about wanting to stay?"

"Oh God, Katie," he groaned. "I've never wanted to make love to a woman more than I want you. No
amount of cold showers and pure thoughts have been able to keep me from turning on like a light when you touch me."

"But...?..
she prompted.

"But I wanted to wait until..." The sentence trailed off as he was obviously lost for an explanation.

"Until Shanna graduates from college?" she taunted.

He stopped at the San Luis Pass toll booth long enough to pay the guard, then he glanced over at Kate as they continued toward Galveston.

"You know that ghost you thought you saw?" he asked. "Every time I hold you or think of making love with you in your bed . . . his bed . . . I feel his ghost standing next to me. And dammit, I don't even believe in ghosts."

Her smile was filled with relief . . . and affection. "But Rusty, you're the one who told me I had to put my past behind me and start over fresh. I think I've done a pretty good job of taking your advice. And now you're saying that my past is holding you back?"

"Kate, I'm just not sure..." Again he let his sentence go uncompleted.

So that was it. He wasn't sure he could love her forever, and he was too honorable to take advantage of her. Abruptly, she withdrew her hand and scooted as far over in her seat as she could. Pressed against the door, she tried to focus her suddenly blurry gaze on the full moon that was dancing between the thunderheads over the black water of the Gulf.

She felt Rusty jerk the wheel to the right and saw they were driving down a road that had been cut through the dunes. He turned again and drove a short way along the hard-packed sand, then parked on the beach, facing the surf.

Unbuckling his belt with an impatient tug and scooting that seat back at the same instant, he reached for Kate and dragged her across the oak console and onto his lap. Without any preliminaries, his mouth crushed down on hers.

Her own mouth opened to utter her shocked response, but his tongue took advantage of the breach to plunge inside. Roughly at first, it mated with hers in a frenzy of frustration. Gradually, the fury calmed until he was stroking, tasting, teasing her with a hunger he made no attempt to hide.

"Kate, my sweet, beautiful Kate," he murmured, his breath hot against her lips. "I love you so much I can't stand it. No matter what should happen, always remember that."

Through a befuddled haze, Kate thought that was a rather odd thing to say. But the only word that was important at the moment was "love."

"I never thought I'd be saying this to another man." She threaded her fingers through the thick, dark hair that curled at the back of his neck. "But Rusty, I love you, too. And this time, maybe it will be forever."

"I wish I could believe that." The words were so soft that Kate wasn't certain she heard them. Especially when her ears started buzzing as he pulled her blouse out of her slacks and his hand slid under the crisp material and across her bare midriff.

His lips devoured
hers, swallowing any other words she might have spoken. Not that coherent thought was possible. His fingers worked the tiny buttons out of their holes until her blouse fell open. He lifted his head and gazed down at her moon-washed body. Gently he cupped her breast, letting its weight fill his hand. His thumb etched a circle around her nipple, urging it to thrust forward against the lace and satin of her bra.

A noise halfway between a moan and a sigh floated out on a breath as Kate felt her breast swell beneath his touch.

His hand stilled and he asked with genuine concern, "Did that hurt? Are you still tender?"

"No, I'm fine . . .
don't stop . . . I want you to." Her words were ragged with desire.

"Doesn't that back seat fold down into a bed?" he
asked, his voice as shaky as hers.

"I never realized the van would be put to this use," Kate commented a few minutes later as she stretched out next to Rusty. "I've never made love in a car."

He slipped her blouse off her shoulders and dropped it to the floor. "After tonight, you won't be able to say that," he whispered, pressing kisses down her neck.

When his lips brushed across her breasts, finally halting on a rosy peak, Kate's breath caught in her throat. She felt the moisture of his tongue slowly soak through the cloth of her bra and bathe her skin. When his hand slipped into the cup and pulled her breast free, she almost cried out at the exquisite pleasure his mouth gave her as it kissed and suckled her nipple.

It reminded her of breast-feeding her baby, but this was different. The maternal fulfillment Shanna's small, greedy mouth had given had been totally nonsexual. It hadn't set her blood on fire or started an ache deep within the pit of her stomach.

Rusty's
lips were demanding, hungry in their own way. The rake of his teeth against her skin, the rough caress of his tongue was undeniably sensuous. He freed her other breast and covered its tip with his mouth while his hand moved lower.

Kate helped him with the fastener of her slacks,
then arched her hips against his hand as it moved beneath her panties. When his fingers stroked her femininity, then slid deep within her warmth, Kate couldn't stop another, more anguished moan. The agony of his touch was because she knew she was close to a climax, and she wanted him to hurry.

With his mouth loving her breasts and his finger moving inside her, she gasped as she felt explosions ripping through her. He didn't slow down until she relaxed, exhausted and spent from the violence of her response.

"I . . . I'm sorry," she murmured. "I couldn't wait."

"That's okay. The night's young, and I've just begun to show you a good time."

"A very good time," she reminded him.

Sitting up, he pulled her slacks and panties off her legs and unfastened her bra, adding all of them to the blouse already on the floor of the van. After taking off his own shirt, he unbuckled his belt, unfastened his jeans and eased out of them and his underwear.

For a long, electric moment, they let their gazes roam freely. In the golden moonlight, their naked bodies glowed like alabaster statues. His eyes approved of her curves; her eyes adored his classic beauty.

"You look like a Greek god in this light," she stated with unashamed appreciation. "I wish I knew how to sculpt."

He took her hand and placed it on the hard evidence of his desire. "Sculptors must know every inch of their subjects well before they can begin a project."

"Every inch?" she repeated suggestively, letting her hand move up and down with gentle friction.

His reply was a breathless "Yes" forced through his clenched teeth.

Kate expected him to let her give him pleasure this time, but as if he couldn't keep his hands off her, they returned to caress her body. When he couldn't stand it any longer, he shifted until he was centered between her thighs.