STARTING OVER (16 page)

Which led her to wonder whether or not she should pass on the invitation to Rusty to join her parents at their annual Fourth of July celebration.
Since it was less than a week away, she knew she would have to make a decision soon.

That evening she sat on the edge of the pool watching him swim laps. Even though it was almost eight o'clock, the sun had not set and the air was almost as hot as it had been at midday. Kate was accustomed to the heat. Summer nights in that part of Texas seldom dropped below seventy degrees and never below ninety percent humidity. The combination was uncomfortable at best and stifling at worst.

But Kate barely noticed the weather as her gaze took in the way the water sheeted off Rusty's muscular shoulders as his arms lifted and stroked in rhythmic precision. His tanned skin glistened in the slowly waning sunlight, and his body slid through the clear water with the natural grace of a porpoise.

"Come on in," he called as he circled and stopped directly in front of her. "It feels great."

She sat on the edge of the pool, her bare legs dangling into the tepid water. It was so hot and he looked as if he were having such a good time that she was definitely tempted to join him in the pool. But she didn't feel confident enough about her postnatal figure yet to wear a swimsuit when he was around.

"No, I'm fine," she answered. "Besides, I want to be able to hear Shanna if she cries."

Rusty cast a pointed look at the peacefully sleeping baby, whose playpen was just inside the patio door, where she was protected from the heat and the mosquitoes.

"She's not going to wake up for another hour or so. So you have plenty of time to join me for a swim." he cajoled, stepping closer to her until the water dripping from his body sprinkled onto her sweaty skin.

"But I'm not dressed for it, and if I go indoors to change into my swimsuit, I might wake her up." Kate felt relatively safe with this excuse, and she gave him a regretful smile for additional effect.

What she didn't expect was for him not to take no for an answer.

"Then I suppose you'll have to swim in what you have on," he teased as his hands grasped her waist. Ignoring her protesting squeal, he pulled her into the water.

"I can't believe you did that!" she exclaimed, struggling to keep her cotton T-shirt from floating up.

"When's the last time you went swimming in your clothes?" he teased.

"I'm not sure, but it was before I was old enough to know better."

"Then take them off."

"I beg your pardon!"

"When's the last time you went swimming without your clothes?" The now familiar twinkle danced in his eyes.

"Never," she declared, but the ridiculousness of their conversation had taken all of the awkwardness out of the situation.

"Maybe it's time you tried it." His eyebrows arched suggestively.

"I don't think the world is ready for that." She laughed. "And I know my body is definitely not ready to be seen."

His gaze washed over her, pointedly pausing at the swell of her breasts as the T-shirt clung to them. His hands were still holding her waist, and he slowly let them slide down the curve of her hips.

"Compared to how I've looked since we've known each other, any change would be an improvement," she added, a little nervous at the feeling his visual caress had aroused.

"There's nothing wrong with your body," he assured her, his voice husky and his expression growing more serious. "I'd like to see more of it."

His hands pulled her closer until she felt her stomach pressed against him. A pulse as powerful as an electrical shock raced through her as the hardness of his masculinity provided a graphic confirmation of his words.

"I . . . I'm..." she began, but her thoughts scattered as he bent to kiss the droplets of water off her lips. His tongue was warm and exciting as it outlined the full oval of her mouth before easing inside.

Kate heard a moan but wasn't sure if it had come from her, Rusty or both of them simultaneously. Her skin felt hot even with the water lapping against it. Desire raced through her like molten lava, leaving her weak in his arms. It had been months since a man had made love to
her . . . almost nine months, to be exact. From the day she had told Doug she was pregnant, he had kept his distance.

Although he hadn't explained, Kate felt sure it was some sort of fear that he might hurt her or the baby. She had tried to reassure him that making love during pregnancy, especially that early in her term, was completely safe, but be would just shake his head and tell her he could wait until the baby was born.

Kate had wanted to point out that she didn't want to wait that long because her sex drive was as strong, and maybe even stronger, than ever. Yet she kept quiet, especially when Doug started teasing her about her little "bulge."

In fact, he hadn't even kissed her during that time, except for a goodbye peck or a quiet, often distracted greeting.

Maybe that was why Rusty's kisses were affecting her so strongly. It could be her natural biological needs screaming out for satisfaction after such a long period of abstinence. Or it could be some sort of hormonal imbalance because her system was still not back to normal, as her mother had warned.

Or, a nagging thought
persisted, it could be as simple as the possibility that she was attracted to Rusty.

Kate pulled away and took a step backward. Logically, she knew it wasn't wise to admit to that attraction, even to
herself. She had only been a widow for five months. It was too soon . . . or was it?

He had asked her how long it should take, and her answer had been that she didn't know. What was the appropriate time? What would people think about her if she fell in love so quickly after Doug's death? What would she think about herself?

She looked at Rusty, who was watching her. If she had her life to live over again, he would be exactly the type of man she would choose. But was he right for her now?

And did that mean that if she had to relive her youth and the choice was between Doug and Rusty, she might be tempted to choose Rusty?

Besides his obvious assets of handsome features and a nicely muscular body, she liked the way he handled himself in the business world and how he could make even the most unexciting event fun. He seemed to be crazy about Shanna, and he seemed to really care about Kate. With him she felt more than just secure; she felt treasured.

She tugged her T-shirt back into position and wiped the water from her cheeks. "I can't think when you do that," she whispered. "I'm so confused...."

He flashed her an apologetic grin. "I know. I'm supposed to be taking it slow and easy. Well, I'm trying to take it slow, but it sure isn't easy."

"If it matters, it isn't easy for me, either," she said, her answering smile bemused. "I wish we could start again at a different point in each of our life spans. I just don't know how to mesh my past and my future."

He reached out for her again, this time wrapping his arms around her in a tender hug. "I'll help you. Just trust me."

The smell of chlorine mixed with the musky, masculine fragrance of
Rusty's skin filled her nostrils. Kate rubbed her cheek against the smoothness of his wet chest and allowed her empty arms to satisfy themselves by encircling his waist.

"At least you can't say you don't know what you're getting into," she said, lifting her face so she could see into his eyes.

"No, I can't. You and I have gone through more together in the two months we've known each other than many people go through in a lifetime."

"There are two more tests you'll have to pass before I could consider becoming involved with you." Laughter, which never seemed far from the surface lately, bubbled over as she continued, "You haven't changed Shanna's diaper, and you haven't met my father, both of which you can accomplish this weekend. My parents always participate in the Fourth of July celebration in Austin, and they want us to come up there. I suppose a third test would be to ride in a car with a baby for that distance."

She wasn't sure which of the three events caused his exaggerated grimace, but he met her challenge with a cocky, "No problem. I'm not sure which will be the most difficult, but surely I can handle a dirty diaper and a possessive father. And if there's anything I know I do well, it's handle the controls of a high-performance machine for many miles at a time."

"I'd hardly classify my little car as a high-performance machine."

"I'll pretend it's a Ferrari."

"That'll be a stretch of your imagination," Kate stated wryly. "Besides, all of the baby's stuff would never fit in a Ferrari."

"No problem," he repeated as a new idea struck. "We'll take the helicopter."

AS THE TEXAS MILES passed beneath them two days later, Rusty had to admit that his confidence level had dropped several degrees since his naive acceptance of her "test."

He would never have believed how much paraphernalia was involved in transporting a tiny infant. Actually, the child was the least of it. There were boxes of diapers, the portable crib, dozens of changes of clothing, a car seat, an infant carrier, blankets and whole bag of medications and miscellaneous items "just in case."

He glanced back at the area that usually held four brawny crewman and their small travel bags. Now it was filled from wall to wall, snugly packed with baby supplies except for the spot where Shanna was strapped securely into her car seat. There hadn't even been room for Rebel, and Rusty had had to get Harry to take care of the dog until after the holiday.

In spite of the crowded conditions and the mass confusion that seemed to surround a baby, Rusty wasn't sorry he had agreed to this expedition. How could he feel bad about any reason for him to spend four whole days—and nights—with Kate?

Of course, he knew that nothing physical would happen during those nights. Kate and Shanna would be in Kate's old room, Rusty would be in the guest room, and Kate's parents would be down the hall. No opportunities there, even if Kate was willing and able.

But Rusty welcomed any chance to get to become a more important part of her life. And if he could get her parents on his side, he would have some powerful allies.

However, he was a little nervous about meeting her father. Rusty had no idea how fond the older man had been of Doug. If he and Doug had been fishing buddies or great "forty-two" domino partners, then Rusty would have a tougher time receiving any sort of encouragement about joining the family.

And Rusty wasn't sure what sort of impression he had made on Kate's mother, since he had only seen her once. They had talked on the phone several times before Shanna's birth, and Margie answered the phone almost every day she had been at Kate's house when Rusty called in progress reports or asked questions.

He couldn't remember ever being this tense about meeting a woman's parents, not even when he had been a teenager picking up his date. This time it mattered a great deal whether or not they accepted him, because Kate mattered a great deal. She was a grown woman, and she could become involved with whomever she pleased, but Rusty knew it would make his case easier if her parents liked him.

Rusty had, at least, passed the first test, although it had taken him several tries. He wouldn't have believed it was so difficult to put a diaper on a baby so that it wasn't too tight or too loose. His thumbs had never seemed larger or his fingers less agile. But, thankfully, none of the diapers he had changed had been anything more than wet. He knew sooner or later he would have to face the big one—a smelly, dirty diaper—but he didn't want to rush that part of what he considered to be a sort of audition.

What he did want to rush was whatever it would take to bring him and Kate more permanently together. He wanted to feel secure in their relationship, bonded emotionally and physically.
Slow and easy, slow and easy. It had become a chant he recited to himself every time his libido reminded him just how desirable she was. He had told her he could wait, and he knew he was capable of keeping his promise. But he wanted her so darn much, it hurt.

"I'd forgotten how beautiful it looks from up here." Kate turned her attention away from the thick trees and gently rolling hills below and flashed him a relaxed smile as she reached out and rested her hand on his arm. "This was such a good idea."

"Why drive when you can fly?" Rusty chuckled. "I think I should have been a bird . . . maybe a sea gull since I like to live near the water."

"I've always thought it would be wonderful to be able to just spread my wings and glide through the air," Kate agreed, adding her laughter to his. "I'd have a little trouble with having to eat raw fish, though. I never did care for sushi, and I'll bet a steady diet of live mullet would be even worse."

"Have you ever taken flying lessons?" At her negative response, he continued, "As soon as things settle down, why don't you let me teach you how to fly? I'll bet you'd pick it up in no time."

"It's been years since I've been up in a helicopter, but I've always loved them."

"Once you got your license, you could be our backup pilot and hire someone else to deal with the paperwork."

She watched him handle the controls to keep the helicopter on a steady, level course. "Yes, I think I might like to give it a try . . . if you really think I could do it."