Starting Over (13 page)

“Keep your
voice down,” Eve said when she heard footsteps outside her bedroom
door. “It wasn’t like that. He was still my husband. He wanted us
to reconcile. He thought—”

“If he got you
back into bed, he could convince you to go back to New York with
him?”

Stress wasn’t
good for her or the baby, so Eve took a deep breath, closed her
eyes, and rolled her neck and shoulders the way her mother had
taught her during their private yoga and meditation sessions. “I
don’t want to talk about this with you, Dan. You obviously can’t be
objective where my husband is concerned.”

“Ex-husband.”

“Excuse
me?”

“Morris said
James told him that Alex was ready to sign the papers, right?”

Flattening her
hand over her stomach, Eve wondered whether Alex had signed. Had a
judge granted their divorce? Was she a single woman with a baby to
raise on her own? The prospect almost had her running to the
bathroom for the second time that morning. “Yeah, that’s what
Morris said. I guess I should call him, find out whether—”

“It’s too late
to stop him?” Dan glared at her. “You asked for that divorce
because you knew it was the right thing to do. This baby doesn’t
change anything.”

“How can you
say that?” she whispered. “It changes everything.”

“Tell him it’s
mine.”

Eve’s mouth
dropped open. “Are you out of your mind? I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” Dan
paced the room. “You have to admit, it would make things a hell of
a lot simpler for you. You wouldn’t have to worry about shuffling
the kid back and forth between here and New York for court-ordered
visitation.”

“I can’t keep
this baby from Alex. That wouldn’t be fair to either one of
them.”

“How do you
know he’ll even want it?” His gaze softened when he saw Eve’s
expression. “I’m sorry, hon. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but you
said yourself he wasn’t too keen on getting pregnant when you were
together. How do you think he’ll feel about the prospect of being
saddled with a kid now that he’s about to be a free man again?”

Eve still
couldn’t accept the thought of Alex being a free man any more than
she could think of herself as available to date other men. But of
course, he was free, and as much as she hated to admit it, Dan
might be right. “How would you feel if you were him?” Dan may not
be able to be objective, but at the moment, he was the only person
she could ask.

“I’m not him,
thank God.”

“Just humor
me.”

“Are you sure
you really want to know how I’d feel?”

No.
“Yes.”

“I’d be mad as
hell. You were the one who insisted on the divorce. He’s going to
assume you used him to get pregnant so you could have the baby you
wanted, then cut him out of the picture.”

“That’s
ridiculous. I didn’t go to him that night. He came to my room.”

“I don’t need
to hear the details,” Dan said, holding up his hand. “I’m just
saying, if you didn’t use anything…”

“He wasn’t
exactly whipping out a condom,” she muttered, feeling bitter that
her long-time friend was siding with a man he couldn’t stand. “If
he was so concerned about getting me pregnant, don’t you think he
would have?”

Running his
hands through his cropped, dirty-blond hair, Dan said, “God, I
really don’t wanna have this conversation.”

“I’m sorry,”
she said, sighing. “I shouldn’t have dragged you into this.”

“You didn’t. I
walked into it, remember?”

Before Eve
could respond, someone knocked on the door. She gave Dan a look
that warned him to act nonchalant. “Come in.”

Jane poked her
head inside the door. “Eve, someone’s here to see you.”

“Tell them I’ll
be right down.”

Jane glanced at
Dan, looking hesitant. “It’s Alex.”

Eve’s stomach
did a little flip-flop, threatening to dispel the crackers she’d
choked down a couple of hours ago. “What’s he doing here?”

“I don’t know,”
Jane said. “What should I tell him?”

“Tell him to
come up.” Eve couldn’t imagine having that conversation in a public
area, where anyone could walk in on them, when she was uncertain of
how Alex would react. She decided her bedroom was as private as it
could get at the inn.

“Do you think
that’s a good idea?” Dan asked, giving her a pointed look.

“I think it’s
Eve’s decision to make,” Jane said gently.

Dan didn’t seem
to care for her mother, and Eve sensed the feeling was mutual. She
knew both of them loved her and wanted to protect her, but their
underlying tension only hurt her.

“Send him up,
Mom.” Her mother had earned that title slowly as they built a
healthier, mutually-supportive relationship. Eve had to admit she
didn’t know if she would have gotten through the past month without
Jane’s help. She wondered how Jane would feel when she found out
she was going to be a grandmother. Eve would tell her soon, but
first she had to figure out how to tell her baby’s daddy the
news.

“Sure thing,”
Jane said, opening the door fully before she made her way down the
hall.

“This is a bad
idea,” Dan said between clenched teeth. “It’s too soon to say
anything to him about this. You haven’t even seen a doctor
yet.”

“It’s not like
I have the luxury of time. Our divorce will be final in a matter of
days.”

“You can’t
seriously be thinking about taking him back just because you’re
pregnant.”

“I don’t know
what I’m going to do,” she said, reaching under the pillow to grip
the plastic stick that had decided her fate. “I’m still in shock,
to tell you the truth. But whatever happens, Alex and I are in this
together.”

“Fine,” Dan
said, sighing. “But when this turns into a nightmare, don’t say I
didn’t warn you.”

“What are you
talking about?”

“Either way,
you lose. If you go back to New York, you’ll be miserable. If you
stay here and try to share custody with him, you’ll be miserable.
Think about how you’ll feel, shipping your kid off for weeks at a
time. I know you. That’ll kill you.” Dan braced his hands on his
hips. “Have you thought about what will happen if he fights you for
custody?”

“Alex wouldn’t
do that.” She reached for the glass of flat ginger ale on her
nightstand and took a tentative sip. “He’s a reasonable man. He
would never want to hurt me that way.”

“He may have
been all sweet before because he was still trying to get you back,
but do you think he’ll still wanna play fair when he knows that’s a
lost cause?”

“Shh,” Eve said
when she heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

Alex appeared
in her doorway wearing designer jeans, black shoes, and a
dark-gray, striped button-down shirt. He looked even more handsome
than Eve remembered, and the intensity of his steel-gray stare
reminded her that she would never be immune to him. “Am I
interrupting something?” Alex asked, looking from Dan to Eve.

“Would it
matter if you were?” Dan asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Don’t start,
Dan,” Eve warned, sliding her damp palms over her black jeans.
“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Sure,
whatever.”

***

Alex knew he
would never get used to seeing Eve with another man. Even though
their marriage was officially over, it killed him to think about
her falling asleep in someone else’s arms. He took a tentative step
into the room. His eyes landed on the bed where they’d made love a
few weeks ago. He’d been trying to hold on to her that night,
believing that some miracle would make her realize they still
belonged together. “It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to
see you too, Alex. You’re looking well.”

He rolled his
eyes. “You’re lying, but thanks. I know I look like shit. Sleep’s
been pretty hard to come by lately.” Stepping farther into the
room, he sat on the bench at the end of the bed. He was close
enough to touch her, but he knew he didn’t have that right
anymore.

“What are you
doing here?”

He should give
her the divorce papers, wish her well, and leave. But he hadn’t
come all that way to torture himself with just a few minutes in her
company. Knowing he may be using the last excuse he had to see her
made him want to prolong their meeting as long as possible. “How’ve
you been? I see you’ve already started working on the inn.”

She tucked a
leg under her, looking more relaxed. “Yeah, it’s a lot of work, but
I’m really excited about it. By the time we’re finished, the inn
should look exactly the way Aunt Sharon envisioned it.”

“That’s great.”
He loved to see her smile. She hadn’t been passionate about a
project in so long, he’d almost forgotten the sound of that little
hitch in her voice and the way her green eyes shined like polished
emeralds when she was excited. He was glad she’d found that passion
again… even though he wished it could have come with him. “Maybe
you can invite me to the Grand Re-opening?” When she didn’t say
anything, he knew he’d overstepped. He wanted to believe they could
remain friends, but without marriage binding them together,
maintaining a relationship with her ex-husband would probably seem
strange to her.
Ex-husband.
He didn’t think he’d ever get
used to that.

“Do you, uh,
want to take a walk?” she asked. “The construction workers are
probably taking their break. I could show you around, explain where
everything is going to go. That is, if you want to. I mean, if you
have to get back…”

He’d been
holding the envelope the entire time they’d been talking. He was
certain she’d seen it, probably even guessed what was in it, but
neither one of them seemed ready to broach that subject. They could
stick to a neutral topic, like the renovation project, until one or
both of them couldn’t stand it any longer and decided to
acknowledge the elephant in the room. “I haven’t even told you why
I came. I’m in no hurry to leave though. Unless you’re anxious to
get rid of me.”

“No, I’m
not.”

She glanced at
the hand he had splayed on the bench, supporting his weight. He was
still wearing the wide gold wedding band she’d slipped on his
finger the day they took their vows. He couldn’t imagine removing
it, no matter how much time passed. A judge may have pronounced
them divorced, but that judge didn’t know his love for her would
never die.

“Okay, so let’s
take that walk,” he said, standing up. His first impulse was to
reach for her hand, but that would only make things awkward. He
gestured for her to precede him out of the room. “I see you let
Jane stay. She told me she’s working in the kitchen?”

“For now,” Eve
said, making her way down the staircase. She smiled at one of the
guests crossing the lobby to the front door. “Once the renovations
are complete, I may ask her to manage the exercise facility and
spa. We’re going to have yoga, tai chi, meditation…” She blushed
when she caught him staring at her.

“Things are
going well with her then?” Alex asked, following her outside.
Engaging in polite conversation with the love of his life felt
wrong. More than anything, he wanted to pull her into his arms and
kiss her until the bitter memory of their divorce escaped him.

“They are.” Eve
fell into step beside him as they walked across the lawn. “She
seems like a different person. I wish she and Aunt Sharon could
have mended their relationship before she passed on. I think Aunt
Sharon would have been proud of the woman my mother has
become.”

Alex followed
Eve’s eyes. She was watching a young mother help her toddler down
the slide in the inn’s playground. A smile teased Eve’s lips. He
knew sights like that always tugged at her heartstrings. Anxious to
turn her attention away from a reminder of the reason their
marriage fell apart, he said, “I’m glad Jane’s been here to support
you. Pulling this off alone would’ve been tough.”

“I haven’t been
alone,” Eve said, her eyes never leaving the mother and child.
“Dan’s been a big help.”

“I’ll bet he
has,” Alex muttered, unable to wipe the scowl off his face when he
thought about the man who was so determined to take his place. When
the father appeared, scooping up his baby girl and swinging her in
the air until she giggled and kicked her chubby little legs, Alex
felt it like a swift kick in the gut. That could have been them if
he hadn’t taken the best thing that had ever happened to him for
granted.

“Please don’t
do that,” she said. “I told you, Dan’s my friend. That’s all it
will ever be.”

“Things are
different now.” They didn’t have to talk about the divorce to know
it stood between them. The air around them was charged with
tension. Their conversation marked the end of a chapter in their
lives. They both knew it; it was just a question of who would
acknowledge it first.

Alex was
surprised when Eve led him toward a small white bench in the
playground. He didn’t understand why she wanted to torture herself
by watching a family playing together, but as long as he could
steal a few more minutes with her, he wouldn’t question the where
or why.

“They are
different. I feel different,” she said, sitting down. “I have a
goal now. I think that’s what was missing before.”

“I’m glad to
hear that.” He was happy she’d finally found what she was looking
for. He knew how important it was to live with purpose instead of
just going through the motions. He was glad he still had a career
that gave him reason to get out of bed. Without that, he couldn’t
imagine what he would do.

The toddler
with the pink floppy hat ran toward them with a brightly colored
ball almost too big for her to wrap her little arms around. She
giggled the entire time as she threw it to Eve, trying to entice
her into playing a game of catch. It didn’t take much convincing.
Eve adored children and was happy to oblige while the smiling
parents looked on.